my husbands mom

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amaya
amaya Member Posts: 6

yesterday my husbands mom found out that she has breast cancer they said its in an early stage can someone give me advice on what we should expect and how i can support my mother in law and my husband

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  • goodvibes
    goodvibes Member Posts: 45
    edited November 2007

    hi amaya,

    there is a lot of good info here. Have your mom-in-law check it out. There is some info on caregiving too. hang in there!

    jim and barb

  • Shirlann
    Shirlann Member Posts: 3,302
    edited November 2007

    Hi Amaya, how kind of you to post and ask for help!  You are a very kind and considerate person.

    Suggest a small tape recorder.  It is almost impossible to remember all the stuff they throw at you, and taking notes is slow and difficult.  Ask the doc, and then tape everything.

    Also, for you especially, get Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book, it will help you to understand what is going on entirely, and you can pass on the "good" stuff to your hubby and MIL.  Be sure they get  a copy of the pathology report, when it is available.  She needs to start a file,  and that is the first entry.  You can gently suggest these things, I wish you had been my Daughter-in-law!

    Gentle hugs, Shirlann 

  • amaya
    amaya Member Posts: 6
    edited November 2007

    I just want to say thanks for the ideas and also would like to know does everyone that has or had breast cancer have to go through radiation or chemo i apologize if these questions sound simple minded but I dont know alot about breast cancer

  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited November 2007

    No, not everyone does rads and/or chemo.  Each person's bc is different and individual to her.

    That's why we say get the path report, there's a place on the home page to click to help understand the path report. 

    There are no simpleminded questions!  Every questions is valid and we will be very glad to ans. any question you, your MIL or husband may have.

  • amaya
    amaya Member Posts: 6
    edited November 2007

    does anyone know when my mother in law will get a pathology report

  • Shirlann
    Shirlann Member Posts: 3,302
    edited November 2007

    Hi Amaya, I like to think of this whole journey as the "Breast Cancer Dance".  Things are done differently in different clinics, but usually, the journey to a pathology report is long.

    First they find the "thingy", then they either do a biopsy, an excisional biopsy, a stereotactic biopsy or a needle biopsy.  Whew, their choice.  Then, if that shows up malignant, or cancerous, they need to know what is going on in the lymph nodes.  They can do a Sentinel Node Biopsy or just grab a hunk of flesh under the arm and dissect it.  The Sentinel Node is the newer way.  THEN, after you are all completely frazzled, they usually send you to an oncologist to give you the "news".  But not always, if it looks "extensive", they often order bone scans, chest x-rays, MRI's, or tumor marker tests, to see if the cancer has spread.

    As you can easily see, by the time they get all this done, or even part of it, end to end, everyone is ready for the looney bin.

    THEN, they will have the pathology report, be sure you get a copy, and tell you what they "advise", you to do for treatment.  Yes, they ask you!  Nuts, I don't have a medical degree, why were they asking me?  But that is what they do.

    So I sound a little annoyed and cynical, that is how you get, when you are through this wringer.

    Good luck, I hope this goes easily, but at least you know a little ahead what to expect.  Oh, and no tech or anyone but the docs/oncs can tell you ANYTHING, even if your head falls off, so don't even ask.

    Gentle hugs, Shirlann     

  • amaya
    amaya Member Posts: 6
    edited November 2007

    everything is moving so fast,a week ago she had a needle biopsy,then monday found out she has breast cancer,friday she has to have an mri,then next wednesday she meets with a surgeon,I didnt realize how fast all this would happen,its like they tell you that you have breast cancer and then a week later you have to decide whether to have a lumpectomy or a mastectomy this is alot to handle for me so I can only imagine how my mother in law must feel,and everyone else that has ever been diagnosed,but she is handling this alot better than I expected!

                                               amaya 

  • myrenewal
    myrenewal Member Posts: 203
    edited November 2007

    Amaya - everything does seem to happen at warp-speed!  I was in surgery within two weeks of an abnormal mammogram.  I am glad your mother-in-law appears to be handling it well - she probably hasn't had time to think of anything else.  It is very overwhelming in the beginning because all your time is spent with doctors - life is put on hold.  After her team is put together and a plan of action is in place it hopefully will not seem as overwhelming, because she will then be actively fighting her disease.  

    Please continue to post if you are comfortable doing so and let us know how you are all doing.  I will keep your family in my thoughts.      

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