Starting Chemo in September?? where are you ladies

Good evening everyone,

I hope everyone is feeling well and staying warm.  It has turned very cold here in western NC today.  It was just like Spring yesterday and today it was freezing and blustery.  Mother Nature's hot flashes I guess.

Would it be ok if I go totally off topic for just a bit?  Well, this is sort of related to chemo...  I could post this elsewhere but I feel like you all are my buddies!

I am interested to hear how you ladies are dealing with the upcoming holidays.  This year, it is going to be very different for me, of course because of the chemo and all the physical and mental SE's, plus my daughter is pregnant and won't be coming in for Christmas because it's so close to her due date, plus my husband wants to go out of town for Christmas for a mini-vacation.  And now he says he wants to go out to a restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner!  We've always pretty much done the same thing every year and spent most of the time with my family (his parents have passed on and his grown kids do their own thing) I know he should have a say in what we do, so do I just go with the flow and enjoy whatever happens?  I would be interested to know how you all are handling the holiday planning, celebrations, etc. and I welcome any hints and advice.  Thanks for letting me go OT for a bit and thanks in advance for your responses.

Hugs from

Mary Jo

I think I'm starting to feel better again.  Hope it stays.  It got really cold here, too, MJ.  I had to laugh, my bf said I should bundle up and walk to the mailbox each day this week (really long driveway) so I could get used to it for deerhunting this weekend.  I am getting really excited. 

MJ: I don't think there's much off topic in here so don't worry about it.  So, your husband wants to eat at a restaurant and you want to spend thanksgiving with your family, is that right??  If you feel strongly, I'd at least tell him how you feel even if you're willing to compromise. 

Personally, the holidays have always been strangely worked out.  When my folks lived up here, we got together on whatever day worked out for us all.  After my folks moved away, I got shuffled off to my brother's in-laws for af ew years.  Some years I had to work and did nothing. 

This year, if I'm feeling good enough, I'll spend the holidays with my bf's family.   

Hey everyone,

Janice, it's good to see you back, and glad you're feeling better.  Sorry to hear you've had it rough with the third tx and good luck w/#4.  I too have gained weight (13 lbs now!), have heartburn issues (I have GERD anyway), but these too shall pass, right?  I just need to consistently up my activity and quit being lazy because I'm tired of hearing myself whine about it. I appreciate reading about your holiday plans.  Actually, some quiet time at home is beginning to be more appealing to me.  

Paxton, I'm glad you're feeling better. And I like your new pic! I think your bf and my dh are kin.  DH told me the same thing about getting used to the cold and getting "climatized" before I hunt again. And it makes sense. Really my head is the only thing that has been getting cold!  (and dh took he day off from work today to go hunting and I'm trying not to be jealous) Yes, you have it correct about the holiday thing with us.  I guess I'm just in a rut about how we have always spent the holidays in the past, and now with my two married adult children who are also going in different directions plus my parents are aging, it just has thrown me into a confusion about what we "should" do.  I think everything will work out-- I just want to enjoy whatever happens and not stress out.

Urbie, I really like your plan!!!  That may be the way to go-- and I think you should enjoy every minute of your "guest" status!  And don't touch those dishes!

Thanks everyone for your input and I welcome all the help I can get!

MJ 

Hi Ladies,

I have my fourth and final tx this morning.  I am so nervous for the actual weigh-in.  I will report and let you all know how much I've gained over this last three weeks -- I can certainly feel a difference.  I am so happy to be done with the chemo portion of my treatment -- I made cookies last night for the oncology nurses who I have grown to love!

One of my favorite things to make around Thanksgiving is pumpkin soup.  Sounds a little wierd, doesn't it, but it is so good and easy to make.  If you guys want the recipe, let me know.  My finicky girls even like it.

I also have a recipe for thanksgiving leftovers.  It is called something like thanksgiving leftover shepard's pie.  It has a layer of turkey, a layer of gravy, a layer of stuffing, carrots, and it is topped with mashed potato.  I'm sure there is something else in it but I just can't think of the others.  It is a great way to use leftovers before they go to waste.  I'm happy to provide that recipe as well.

For Thanksgiving, we will be going to my in-laws house and I'm very excited but also very worried that it will be emotional.  His family is very large and there will be about 30 of us there.  I haven't seen them since I began chemo and I know I will be the center of attention -- I'm hoping I can hold it together.

Have a good day ladies.

Laurie

PS -- How long does it take for hair to start growing back after the last chemo?

Hey there,

Y'all are making me hungry for the sweet potatoes & marshmallows and the shepherd's pie!  Even the pumpkin soup sounds delicious though I haven't tried it.  I'd love your recipe, Laurie!

MJ, hope you're feeling ok after your #4.  And Laurie I hope you are doing well too after your tx.

My hair has been really growing for about a week, mostly spikey fuzz on top, but on the back, I'm getting thick, salt and pepper patches-- pretty funny looking!  I have noticed just a wee bit of stubble on my legs too- darn it!!  I still have all my eyelashes and my eyebrows have thinned only a slight bit.  I just hope it doesn't all fall out again during Taxol.

Marietta, your Thanksgiving sounds very nice-- taking food to your friends' home.  (And who in the world wouldn't like sweet potatoes w/marshmallows? YUM) 

Laurie, what you mentioned about being the center of attention in a crowd is a lot of what worries me this year.  My parents, uncles, aunts, and cousins on my dad's side always have a party Christmas Eve, and my husband is pretty much adamant about not going this year, and I am almost relieved.  The main reason is that no one on that side of the family (except my parents) has sent a card, visited, or even called me, and one of my cousins that lives really close by did not even know about my breast cancer until I walked into his art shop wearing a scarf a couple of weeks ago.  He and his wife thought I was just sporting a new look!  I hate to sound whiney or immature here, but this has hurt my feelings somewhat as hard as I have tried to look over it. Ironically, my sister, who I have been a bit estranged from for the past 5 years because she hasn't treated my parents well, has been the only relative of mine that has called to check on me regularly.  Since my diagnosis, my eyes (and heart) have certainly been opened to a lot of things that I would have normally missed.  On the other hand, my husband's family have called, visited, and offered to help on a regular basis.  His brother calls about me every single day.  And I know that everyone has different ways of dealing or not dealing with someon who has cancer.  Has anyone else had some strange or unexpected family reactions and experiences?  I guess that is why I posted my initial concern about celebrating the holidays this year.  It will be different, I know that, but maybe in a bittersweet and learning way. 

Sorry this was so long. Thanks for letting me vent some more about this holiday thing. I am just so desperate to have some really pleasant and happy memories of this holiday season, however they happen. 

Take care and be well, everyone!

Mary Jo 

Gill you must be ecstatic do not know how I will feel after my last chemo ! ( got my last AC today still have 4 dang taxols to go ). I too am scared about thanksgiving going to sisinlaws house, would hate to get teary eyed emotional But I am thrilled that they let me go 1 week extra between the AC and Taxol(since my tx date was on T-giving and they are closed) so I will be able to enjoy all the good stuff.

Marietta you are giving me hope.. your hair already started growing ? After my hubby buzzed my hair there always was a stubble but it never grew or feel out, almost as if the hair 'froze'. My period skipped 1 month then came back although very light.. dont' know what to expect, our bodies are not in exactly a normal state.

MJ I know how you are feeling. Not with my family but I had 2 friendships in  which I had really invested a lot in. I was there in their bad days and nursed them through them, I really supported them. After my diagnosis all I got was a 'Get Well' card from both and that was it. I felt really sad/betrayed.. and am allowing myself to not talk to them at all.(being forgiving and stuff is very noble but I am pissed !!) Unfortunately this could be tricky with family.

Had my 4th AC today halfway there, will have taxol in 3 weeks. Do not know about you gals but I am getting emotional/teary eyed every day. I know that they say let go, cry but it is not possible in front of the hubby and the girls. Have to drive up to my favorite hiding spot and bawl out I guess.

Aylin - the emo  trigeek.

Wow, nice catching up with everyone. I had my third tx of FEC today. They changed my protocol and I think it is good news... lol.

Instead of 4 FEC I only have to have 3. Today was number 3...wooohoooo... I am 100% through the FEC. I was then supposed to have 4 Taxotere once every three weeks. Now I only have to have THREE... WOOO HOOO.. I am 50% through chemo.

I have been blessed with little to no serious side effects except continual periods and constipation. I am a little anxious with what I have read about the Taxotere and neuropathy's and neupogen or whatever shots that I can't afford...But hey, I guess I got to here, I can get to there somehow. I am still working FT and I don't want to lose that momentum especially at year end. The nurse did tell me that the taxotere would probably throw me into menopause and strip every last hair I have on my body - Well the only place it is stuck, is on my legs... and weirdly enough, I have not lost my eyebrows.

We are doing well ladies, I love your stories and your pictures. I am so glad to have been here (well you know what I mean).

Blessings
Karyll

MaryJo I found the bulletin board - go into active conversations, the topic is "help me get through treatment" then scroll down, the actual name is "Worst thing anyone has said to you"....interesting reading! some will make you laugh, some will piss you off!

Here it is 10:30, I fell asleep at 7:00 and woke up at 9:15...got to see most of Gray's Anatomy...Now I'm wide awake....

Have a good night,

Marietta 

Hi all - I am doing OK except for the apparently "uncommon" side effect of eye pain, burning and redness, caused by the Taxotere.  It happened with my 1st tx and then with the second and it just doesn't seem to be going away.  I am going in to the onc office today for them to take another look at them because I cannot find an Opthalmologist that can fit me into their schedule.  I have tx #3 on Monday and I am concerned with long-term eye damage.  I don't mean to complain, but this sucks!

My vision changes, too.  I was trying to read at my last tx and both my near and far vision were blurry.  But other times its normal. 

I'm still nervou about starting taxol on monday.  Guess that's a normal given.  I'm worried about the permanent neuropathy but also the pain during tx.  Don't know what to do if I can't take it.  Some say the pain is horrible and others say its a cake walk after AC.  I went to the natural food store and bought a bunch of joint supplements recommended on the advice thread.  Maybe I'll check out that July 07 thread.  I don't want to get all worked up until I need to be.  I made it through AC even though it was hard.  And I am half done with chemo, too  .

My focus today needs to be on hunting.  I'm going to shoot my gun this afternoon.  I've got my clothes lines up so I'll stay warm.  Bf is bringing a heater for the stand (its a nice enclosed one so I won't fall out either-very good idea with all these drugs pumping in my system).  I've never been deer hunting so I'm excited and a little nervous. 

Oh, the stupidest thing said to me was actually by the chemo nurse who I really like.  It was when me and bf went in for chemo education.  I started to cry when she started.  She stopped and came over by me and said, "so, what part of all of this is upsetting you?"  I think I just said, "besides everything?"  I wanted to say, "oh, the part where you're going to pump poison into my body, the part where my hair is going to fall out, the part where I'm going to get sick as hell, the part where my life is no longer my own, the part where I have a risk of this crap coming back....take your pick."  Now, I'd be more like, "oh, just the part where I have sit in the waiting room because its so boring and the magazines don't fit my interests."  I'm a bit of a smart ass though.  But that's probably what gets me thru.

I cry regularly as well and sometimes the stupidest things trigger it.  I try to limit it around bf at least some so i'm not balling every time he comes home.  But its normal and we gotta do what we gotta do to get thru this.  I really try not to be hard on myself for anything right now.  I've put on some weight, too, which I'm not happy about but I know I can get back in shape when this is over.  But it is hard.

Urbie:  I really hope you get relief and that your eyes are alright.  It sounds really scary.  Makes you wonder at what point its worth continuing.  Take care...

Take care everybody and have a good weekend!!

Paxton,

That's a great positive outlook!  And just think, the deer won't be able to make you as easy because generally no hair means no scent. Your lunch was certainly better than mine- I had a tuna sandwich and low-fat chips.  But I polished it off with a Hershey bar for dessert.  I want to wish you the best of luck with your deer hunting. I hope you get that rifle sighted in just perfectly and I hope you have a wonderful peaceful time out in the woods-- you deserve it!  

I've had the vision changes too, but not sure if it's the chemo or just old age.  Some days I read just fine but others not.  Don't sweat too much about the Taxol, I really think it will be much, much better!  And I like your comeback you gave the chemo nurse-- gee what is wrong with some of these people?  And it's ok if you're a smart ass-- you've earned it and I say go for it!

Happy Hunting and Good Harvesting to you!

Mary Jo 

Sounds great Laurie! That will be one of our lefover dinners for sure!

I'm so tired today. That neulasta shot sure has me achey this time around. did I mention it worked really well last time?  My wbc went back up to 6. It had gone down to 3.5, so that's a great improvement. Now my hematocrit is low (red blood cells)...if they continue to decline I will have to start some other shots...yuk. Anyone else anemic or having similar issues? 

I wonder how Paxton is doing on her hunting trip!

Have a good day all!

Marietta 

No deer today.  We got in our treestand by 6:30am this morning.  It was quite windy which isn't good for hunting, but it wasn't as cold as it has been so it was a lovely morning together with bf. 

We did a deer drive around lunch with some friends.  A bull has been wondering around this area for over a month and no one knew who's it is.  Well, right near the end of our drive, Becky and I hear the guys yelling so we think a deer is coming.   All of a sudden this huge bull comes out of the grass straight at us.  I started to get my gun ready in case he was charging but he turned and went in another direction.  Needless to say my heart was pounding.  That was the highlight of the day. 

We went out for burgers and had a big nap, then went out behind the farm for a bit tonight.  The weather was gorgeous. 

Hey there Paxton,

It sounds like you had a fabulous time and I am so glad you got to go!!  And thanks for posting the photo-- you look SO HAPPY!  I love your story about the bull and the does and glad you got some action.

Good luck on your Taxol today!  Mine is today also, and I have been awake since 4 a.m. in anticipation (dread?) of it.  My favorite chemo nurse is on vacation at the beach, bless her heart, and I am going to feel lost without her today.  I have had some mild aches too, esp. in my back and my hips and I too wondered if it was the Neulasta.  Didn't know if it would affect me this far out since I had it on Oct. 30.  Not had much trouble with that N-shot, thankfully.

Please let us know how your Taxol goes.  And I hope everyone has a great Veterans Day today.   Remember to hug and thank a Veteran because they have made our country free!

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