"survivor"

Medical,

You obviously are very angry and have every right to be.  It stinks that any of us get breast cancer.  I have been angry too.

I like to think of myself as a survivor in terms of conquering objectives and getting through the tough times.

Perhaps we all could be referred to also as warriors.  As you said, it is a life long battle.  It can be won with dignity, grace and fortitude.

I wish you healing and God's Blessings.  Am sending a hug your way for comfort.

Medical, what an interesting thread you started.  (And the hand you've been dealt, ai yai yai.  I'd be in a state of despair, big hugs to you.)  I've been wrestling with what it is to be labeled a "survivor" myself, which is a different issue then tapping into the power of anger to put up a fight. 

Pardon me while I try to think through some of my prickliness around the label out loud: Being diagnosed, and then labeled right away, or surrounded by pink right away, well, it was such an odd experience.  Of course there's some value in it, but being labeled and told that you "are" a certain thing doesn't always sit right with me.  Though I do appreciate the positive intent of the term "survivor": Survivor as opposed to "patient" as opposed to "victim" etc.  Whoever posted about the origin of the term - that was very interesting and helpful, thank you.

The whole process is such an individual experience, and yet it's not - there are all these women who've gone before.  And the range of coping and attitudes towards treatment and getting through is really wide.  I sometimes think that the term survivor is more comforting for my friends and family than it is for me.  And I've had therapists use it too, to remind me of what the goal is here.  But my goal - it's way more than survival, my goal is all about quality of life.  Though first things first, I see the point in being urged to be a survivor and put up with a bunch of treatments that radically decrease my quality of life in the short term.  Surviving for survival's sake, or at enormous costs in quality of life seems somehow off....anyways, I don't hear the qol issues being brought up very much, though personally the "survivor" label gets shoved down my throat.  But that's just me, being prickly....and I really haven't decided what I think about all this, just thinking out loud.  I may end up embracing it fully, or not.  Or it may change as my situation changes. 

And the idea of the term warrior....somedays I just don't feel like a warrior.  More beseiged.  Sometimes lucky.  Sometimes blessed.  But I'm not sure what a warrior feels like?  Or what all those connotations are? Something to think about it.  And the whole concept of war - not such a big fan. But cancer is one nasty enemy, so maybe war is a very accurate concept.  And I'll be darned if I'm not going to fight it, so there's that part of my nature as well.

Also, there's the issue with labels of living through one's disease rather than living through one's talents, personality, identity etc.  All rather complex, right?  Being treated for breast cancer is just one small part of who I am, yet it's most definitely changed my worldview and my body itself, so it is identity-changing....Anyways, just so much to think about.

So medical and everyone, thank you for an opportunity to reflect on these issues just a little...sorry to write a small book.

I was a volunteer fire fighter for seven years and some times I use the word cancer fighter instead of survivor.  The rest of my life I'll have to eat well, watch my wieght, not drink alot of alcohol, continue with follow ups that's fighting. And yes surviving but I like the word cancer fighter better.

I never really thought about this term until recently when technically I guess I became a bc survivor.  How do i know if am a survivor?? I mean when do you actually become one??? I am finished with treatments, I had my surgery etc am I now a survivor? or was I a survivor from diagnosis when I asked my doctor this isn't going to kill me is it?  She said no it won't and so I took a deep breath and though okay then I will survive??? I hate being labeled as well. I refuse to advertise too much that I had/have breast cancer. I wear pink things subtly not openly. Only because I don't want every Tom, Dick and Harry commenting on it.  I want to choose who I talk to about it! 

I feel the anger in this thread and at first I was like whoa I have never been that angry perhaps something is wrong with me.  I hope that like someone else said I am not in denial and refusing to face reality and that is why I have this positive attitude.  Which brings me to another point.  How often do you all hear 'your positive attitude is so wonderful, you are so strong' .. i hear it over and over and think wow am I supposed to act any other way?? I mean come on!! I guess you don't know till you deal  with it.. cancer I mean.  

I do have a very positive attitude. I just got good news that my nodes are clear YAY and so I have a positive attitude this week. Perhaps next week I will be scared and worried again about it coming back.