upsetting discovery - please help

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Diana_B
Diana_B Member Posts: 287
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer
upsetting discovery - please help
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  • Diana_B
    Diana_B Member Posts: 287
    edited October 2007

    I had 20 lymph nodes removed in March '06, 4 of which were positive.



    Yesterday I had a massage that included some underarm massage due to a wrist problem I'm having that they think is due to a blocked nerve from radiation.



    I've avoided feeling my underarm area since my surgery. I don't know why - I guess it just creeped me out somehow and it felt strange. But last night I felt some soreness there so I started feeling around.



    There's definitely something hard there. It feels exactly like a swollen lymph node. By boyfriend felt it and agrees it's odd and that whatever it is is very hard.



    I'm absolutely terrified. So terrified that I can barely type this message.



    It occurred to me that this could just be scar tissue. Does anyone have scar tissue there that is round and hard and could pass for a swollen lymph node?



    I was fighting off a cold this week. It also occurred to me there could still be some lymph nodes there and that it is a swollen node, trying to fight the cold. But if that's the case, why is the other side and my neck fine?



    Another possibility that occurred to me is that they've removed a fat pad from there, so maybe I'm just feeling what's normally covered up by fat.



    Yikes. Could anyone tell me if you've had a similar experience and what happened? Do your two underarms feel the same or different?



    Thank you so much. I'm trying not to panic and to consider all the possibilities.



    Darya

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  • NoH8
    NoH8 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited October 2007

    I don't have personal experience, but I'd make an appointment with your surgeon and/or oncologist just to be sure either way.

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  • Member_of_the_Club
    Member_of_the_Club Member Posts: 3,646
    edited October 2007

    This could be scar tissue. I have trouble doing self-exams of my axillary area because of all the scar tissue -- I can't tell what is "normal" and what isn't. You need to see your surgeon. Try not to freak out. I have gone to my surgeon several times with bumps and lumps that felt odd to me and they all turned out to be nothing.

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  • Erica3681
    Erica3681 Member Posts: 1,916
    edited October 2007

    Darya,

    I'm so sorry you're having this anxiety. I agree that you should have it checked just to be sure, but given that you haven't checked the area before, it could be some surgically-related lumpiness or scar tissue that's formed since surgery. Some months after my lumpectomy in 2003 (I've since had bilateral mastectomies), I noticed a firm almond-shaped lump under my arm. It turned out to be scar tissue.

    So there's a good chance it's nothing, but if I were you I'd still check it out.

    Barbara 

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  • Diana_B
    Diana_B Member Posts: 287
    edited October 2007

    I'm sitting here feeling so stressed that I've decided that's it, I'm going to have a PET scan because I can't keep freaking out like this.



    I've resisted having one so far out of fear, but now I'm thinking it's a good idea.



    Thanks for responding - I will see my surgeon. Even after all that's happened I still have this fear of seeming like a hypochondriac, though. Pathetic, I know!

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  • abbadoodles
    abbadoodles Member Posts: 2,618
    edited October 2007

    Darya, as everyone says, go see your onc.  But, on the positive side, I have had a large node under my "other" arm for about 15 years and it is fine.

    Tina

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  • NoH8
    NoH8 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited October 2007

    I've had a few recurrence scares. I freaked out over the first one and after 6 weeks of various tests, including a PET scan which showed possible mets, I was clear. After that ordeal I told myself I was never going to put myself through that hell again. I reminded myself that worrying and freaking out wasn't going to change the outcome of the tests, wasn't going to make me get the results any quicker, and wasn't going to make me feel any better. While always considering that it is possible the cancer might come back. I choose to be cautiously optimistic. Even  if I turn out to be wrong, I lose nothing by maintaining this stance. What I gain is control over my fears and a much more peaceful life while I'm waiting to find out. Try some positive self talk and affirmations, they worked wonders for me.

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  • Diana_B
    Diana_B Member Posts: 287
    edited October 2007

    I'm so relieved to know that others have had scar tissue under their arm that could seem like a lymph node. Or innocently enlarged nodes. I would have been obsessing about this till Monday had it not been for this board.



    You're right, PinkRibbonAmy, I've got to get some equanimity. I find myself veering between extremes. I'll read something, like the news of bc death rates dropping, and I'll be confident I'm going to be fine. Then something will happen and I'll be hit with a huge wave of fear and pessimism.



    I'm still a beginner when it comes to this "living with uncertainty" thing and cautious optimism. Seems I just fell off the wagon, so to speak.



    I remember when I was first diagnosed and I read about women being scared of every ache, pain, bump etc. for a few years after. I thought "I won't be paranoid like that. I'm sure I'll be more logical, or a minimizer like I've always been." How ironic that seems now...

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  • myrenewal
    myrenewal Member Posts: 203
    edited October 2007

    PinkRibbonAmy - I'm with you!  I also try to control my thoughts even though I get that sick feeling in my stomach and chest (which I just can't control) just by going to the cancer center.  But I remind myself even if the results aren't good, there is no difference between today and yesterday other than the fact that I now have the knowledge of exactly what is going on in my body.  The tests themselves didn't change anything.  (I think you put it a little more clearly than I did.)

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  • caaclark
    caaclark Member Posts: 936
    edited October 2007

    Darya,

    About a month after I completed radiation I felt something exactly like you are describing.  I called me rad onc. (I LOVE him!) and he said come over immediately.  He felt what I felt and then said, "Carol, this is scar tissue."  I was certain that it was a scary cancerous lymph node!  Of course, get it checked out but I am betting on scar tissue.

    And I am right there with you regarding fear!  I am still trying to get a handle on it.  It is very hard.

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  • JoanofArdmore
    JoanofArdmore Member Posts: 1,012
    edited October 2007

    Hi Darya,

    I'm afraid I'm totally useless.I never  touch my surgery underarm.(Or the other one, for that matter.)Chicken, AND I wouldnt know what I was feeling.(My onc still sees me every 3 months!To check the tatas, and run bloodwork.It's been over 4 years since DX!)

    I agree that you should have it scanned, for peace of mind.

    But I have 2 reassuring things to say:

    My ex-husband had a lump in his armpit.It was round and hard and it showed!He refused to have it looked at, said it's always been there.This was more than 20 years ago.I know he's never shown it to a doc.

    He is still walking around, healthy.

    And, closer to home, I had my flu shot a week ago friday.

    In my non-surgery arm, of course.So my shoulder at site was sore as hell, next my armpit grew sore.I knew it was my nodes working.

    So this week?The surgery armpit is feeling sore.And I see the remaining nodes there (10 gone) --it's their turn to work on the viruses.(Got a pneumonia shot too.)

    All this to say yes, nodes do get busy when we're fighting off disease.It could be a swollen node UNDER scar tissue.

    Take heart.You'll be happy after running it past your onc!

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  • tawyna1
    tawyna1 Member Posts: 273
    edited October 2007

    hi darya,

    my mom had a round lump under her arm.  it was sore . it scared me so bad. it turned out to be nothing. hard tissue. what a relief.

    i hate you are so nervous.  try not to think extreme thoughts.

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited October 2007

    I'm betting it's scar tissue.  I have my onc and rads onc feel all those bumps I feel under my arm and they both agree.  Did you have rads, Darya?  Rads messes with scar tissue and makes it harder feeling.

    BUT...make that appt and get reassured as soon as you can.  No sense going crazy with worry and that's what the docs get paid for.

    Take care and keep us posted,

    Bugs

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  • Diana_B
    Diana_B Member Posts: 287
    edited October 2007

    Thank you so much everyone!



    I'm feeling much better. I'll call the rad onc (yes, i did have radiation) on Monday and try to have my appointment, which is scheduled for mid Nov, moved up.



    I didn't sleep last night, but I was actually able to work this afternoon and then to go out to dinner and have a good time, thanks to your responses!



    I've got things in perspective and am not jumping to the worst conclusions!



    I'll keep you posted about what they say.



    Cheers and thanks again,

    Darya

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  • LisaSDCA
    LisaSDCA Member Posts: 2,230
    edited October 2007

    Darya, in my parallel universe out here in CA, I also found what seemed likely to be a misbehavin' lymph node this week. I posted about it/had my little panic attack in the Recurrence/Mets Board under 'It's Not Supposed to Happen Like This'. Together with another bunch of supportive women such as you have had here, we decided it probably wasn't lethal, but deserved to be looked at. I had my appoinment this morning. We were right. Fat necrosis from my recent bilat. reconstruction. But my surgeon was glad i came in. He agreed it did feel like a nasty lymph node. We are not hypochondriacs - we are women who have had a close brush with a life-threatening disease and we are wise to be careful. I am sure your MD will be able to reassure you, too. You'll take a deep breath and keep on getting better.

    All the best,

    Lisa

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  • NoH8
    NoH8 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited October 2007

    Darya and MyRenewal, it took me about a year and a cancer scare (plus previous therapy) to be able to get control over the fears and it's made a tremendous difference in my life. I heard this quote from a commercial, "I have cancer, cancer doesn't have me." and I really like it.

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  • AnneW
    AnneW Member Posts: 4,050
    edited October 2007

    You first felt this after massage. Is it still there? Massage really opens up the lymph channels. Scar tissue in the axilla is very common, too. Getting a professional opinion is the right thing to do.

    Anne

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