How I'm different now

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Jorf
Jorf Member Posts: 498

Saturday was a retreat day put on by our local hospital oncology social worker for women who have had breast cancer. There were probably 30 or so women there at all stages (including a colleague that lives in my town who I didn't know had BC). One of the things I did was walk a labrynth and it was a nice walking meditation. My mind started adding up my blessings and listing all the things that I am now that I wasn't before BC last year.

younger, prettier, thinner,sexier (the last being a really important part)

more confident, tougher, less intimitatable (how's that for a word)

more creative

physically stronger and in better aerobic shape

more empathic - toward myself and others, less judgemental

things that are not different

I still get out of control with my eating

I'm still not outgoing

I still don't speak my mind as well or as soon as I'd like to

Anyway, I think there have been other threads like this but am curious what your blessings and opportunities came from this crisis.

Jorf

Comments

  • bonny1963
    bonny1963 Member Posts: 450
    edited October 2007

    As of September 12, 2007, I am a one year survivor.  Let me see what I can put on my list.

    I agree with you- I am less judgmental, more empathetic and

    definitely more confident.

    I have lost a tiny bit of weight. 

    I have more faith that I did before.

    I feel closer to God than I did before.

    I have found that some of my best friends still don't "get it" but that doesn't change our friendship.

    I have found I am more loved than I could have ever imagined.

    I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams. 
    I have the greatest support system ever. 

    And I love myself.  I am a good person and I would not choose  to have bc, but I did and I do not regret what I have learned.  It scares the bejeebers out of me to know I have to worry about it the rest of my life.  But right now, I am good!

    Bonny

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2007

    On my list I'd put:



    My BS tolerence level has dropped down to nil - especially when it comes from family, friends, clients, co-workers, students, etc. (learned that from my first oncologist).



    I really understand the true meaning of "people will treat you as badly as you let them." (yet another lesson from the first onc.)



    I laugh a whole lot more because I remember all too clearly when I couldn't find anything to laugh about.



    I realize how truly blessed I am because I can get out of bed, walk to the bathrrom mirror and see the scars from my BC journey when so many people can't.



    I'm a WHOLE lot stronger mentally, physically and emotionally than I ever thought I was.



    The thing I value more now than ever is my time, and I get really protective of it and totally pissed off when family, friends, clients, co-workers and/or my students cause it to be wasted needlessly.



    I enjoy the little things - like sunsets, the first buds on the trees each spring, snow, chirping birds, etc. - WHOLE lot more than before BC. I feel like Dorothy stepping into OZ after the twister!



    I'm not a confrontational person and will still avoid it at all costs.



    I'm more empathetic, but, sadly, just as judgemental. Seems I have a few things to work on, lol...



  • Hattie
    Hattie Member Posts: 414
    edited October 2007

    I am more outgoing. (Big surprise--I'm naturally very shy).



    I zing off hurts.



    I am more forgiving, less judgemental.



    I've learned that taking the next best step is all I can do.



    I've learned that making life as good as I can for as long as I can, for me and those around me is as good as it gets, and is a worthwhile goal.



    I dance more, do art more, write more, try to connect with those I love.



    I really don't sweat the small or big stuff too much, I just keep on keeping on.



    I thought I would say no more, but actually I say yes a lot more. Happily.



    I dropped a lot of weight during treatment that I couldn't afford to lose, but now am heavier than I have ever been. I'm not thrilled about that, but I am pleased that my body is still my friend and keeps functioning.



    I speak up more, but not as much as I really want to. I'm trying on that one.



    I've had many fabulous opportunities along with the challenges.



    Great question, Jorf



    Take care,

    --Hattie.

  • caaclark
    caaclark Member Posts: 936
    edited October 2007

    Hi Julie (and others) 

    Ok, let's see...I may repeat some already mentioned but here are mine:

    I am way more confident

    I am surprisingly happy with my body(I anticipated the opposite)

    I dance and sing much more 

    I am more patient

    I am more creative

    I have more really good friends and have gotten back in contact with a few friends from my past

    I don't have time for people who are negative-I never liked negative people but now I actually take steps to avoid them

    I don't really care what people think about me

    I live in the moment much more

  • ophelia
    ophelia Member Posts: 337
    edited October 2007

    Beautiful ladies! I really enjoyed reading.

  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 2,710
    edited March 2008

    Too many to list, I dont know where to begin. 

    1-the sisterhood.  Where else would you meet strangers that are a lifeline in so many ways?

    2-the dream job  www.breastreconstruction.org

    3-mtg an amazing man, who loves me scars and all.

    4-rising to the challenge that is cancer.  financially, emotionally, and physically.

    5-new chance at not messing up my hair

    6-getting to wake up and inspire others

    7-not being such a selfish little girl, and honoring the women on the same journey.

    8-knowing that the fight doesnt end b/c I got better

    9-living with hope and purpose, and hoping our angels are proud of me.

    10- my great boobs. 

  • Hattie
    Hattie Member Posts: 414
    edited October 2007

    Beth, congrats on your new job, and thanks! As always, you inspire.

    Take care,

    --Hattie

  • indigo
    indigo Member Posts: 3
    edited October 2007

    I am different now. I don't trust my body as much as I did before cancer. I have a fear of mammograms. I am so sick of pink ribbons and pink teddy bears and pink yogurt caps I could scream. I feel like breast cancer is somehow not understood in our society as a deadly disease, like it doesn't get the respect it deserves, that we are saturated by things pink and our disease is "dumbed down." I am confused about who I am now sometimes. I feel like everyone has forgotten how I might have died how much I suffered, my husband never even asked me how my mammogram turned out. I am sad. I am angry. I am three years out. I am a surgery survivor, a chemotherapy survivor, a radiation survivor and a breast cancer survivor. I am scarred in so many ways.

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