Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Mel, glad you're back.  I always enjoy reading your posts.  Jan, you look great.  Melia, hope you're safe.  I couldn't believe when I drove through Calif one time and there were signs that it was a high risk area for fires, now we know why. 

Anyone else feel bloated from the Tamoxifen?  I keep trying to decide if it's the Calcium I added in or the Tamox.  It comes and goes.  I guess I just need to eat more salads. 

The night sweats have been really bad the last couple of nights.  I am getting really tired of it - I mean really tired of it! 

Re chemo brain - I don't think I have it.  I just think I'm getting old! 

Nancy, so sorry to hear about your tooth.  I've had a couple of root canals, and one where they drilled a hole right through the crown to get at it (but it wasn't gold).  You sure do feel better after.  There is nothing worse than a bad tooth - except maybe a bad back.  Lynn, how are you feeling.

Sweetest day was nice.  DH brought me home some flowers (he knew he was in the doghouse for golfing while I had my port out).  We went to a steakhouse that had slow dancing.  That was fun. 

Hugs to all.

Welcome back, Mel.  Glad you had such a nice trip and happy to hear you have a proactive onco. now.  It does make you feel better when someone is proactive.

Skye, I read Cancer Vixen in one night too.  That was the first confirmation I had about the SNB being brutal.  I was so relieved to hear it wasn't just me, that perhaps they just screwed up on me and forgot to give me anesthetic or something.  Not that I'd wish that pain on anyone else...

Did not hear about the rads OD.  Pathetic that that can happen.

Melia, hoping the winds blow the other direction.  I know what you mean about the media making it seem as if the entire state is on fire.  In reality, the fire can be just over a canyon and you won't be evacuated.  The fires do look brutal though.

Melia - I am glad you found a hotel. Surley you've had enough already this year and your house will be safe. Sending lots of good thoughts your way.

Mel...it is so nice to see your sweet smiling face again.   Really hope you have nothing to worry about in your lungs.  Keep us updated and keeping smiling!!!

Caya and other Ativan users.....didn't have a chance to bring this subject up yesterday with the social worker, but I do have some thoughts.  I think Ativan works by calming down your fears but in the process cuts down on dreaming and REM activity.  So you "sleep" but you don't get to dream, which means you don't get to work out your anxieties, and after a few nights you start feeling tired even though you slept a certain number of hours.  When you go to halves, all the pent-up dreams start coming back, so strongly they are nightmares.

You NEED to dream.  My suggestion is to cut down very slowly.  Go a whole week on halves (without a single whole), then a whole week on quarters...and perhaps at the very end try some aspirin & milk, or benadryl if you really can't sleep. 

I'm still halfway through my weeks of halves... 

I don't have as much time to post here as I used to, but I like to drop in now and then to say hello...sorry if I'm not responding to everything that get's posted.

xxxooo Mizzy 

PS Joni...where are those pix?!!  Did I miss them? 

Ack Melia...I am glad you are safe, but it stinks that you have to have the stress of an evacuation.  At least you have a hotel room!  Keep us posted...at least we do not have to worry about you being hurt.

Well I had drama in my classroom this morning.  I have a student who I know is having problems (childcare availability, illness etc) ...she is missing a bit of work, and we have been working together to try and get it all done (to no avail so far).  Today when she walked in the door she looked very distressed, and by the time I was about 10 minutes into my lesson I could see her chin beginning to quiver, and her eyes were full of tears.  I excused myself, and took her out into the hallway to see what was going on...and the poor thing started sobbing almost immediately. 

This poor girl, who I think is a single mom, is taking 4 very heavy duty classes, and does not have enough time in the day to do the work that is involved.  She does not have a job outside of school (which is good for her) but even so does not seem to be able to do it with taking care of her family and so on.  I hate it when I hear stories like hers....it makes me so sad.  She is such a nice girl, and really appears to be trying her best to succeed, and make a decent way for herself in the world, but just does not have the resources.  

I sent her to wash her face and get a drink before she rejoined the class (which she later did). 

I advised her to cut her losses and perhaps drop one of her classes so that she would be able to devote more time to the others, and in that way she would pass at least some of the courses instead of losing the entire semester. What stinks is that she will probably not be able to drop a class without paying back the financial aid that she already received, and thus she is trapped into a failing cycle.  If she lightens her load so she can suceed, she looses her financial aid....and if she keeps her courses and fails them because it is too much...she loses her financial aid anyway.  This girl is not wealthy... in fact, she lives in the poverty stricken area that my school serves, so without financial aid she can not go to school at all.

And so the cycle of poverty persists....she needs education to escape and get a good job, but she can not afford to get the education either financially or logistically.  she is trapped, and it is shameful. 

Much like our medical system, I think the education system needs reform.  Education is the key to solving all our problems, yet the most basic skills are denied to those who need and desire them the most.  GRRRRRR it makes me so mad.

Hi guys,  I'm from the "June 2007" chemo list.  I have my final chemo a week from this Friday, and will be getting married in January.

I was interested in knowing what to expect from my hair--it has been growing back while on Taxol, but is no more than 1/2" long, baby fine, and very sparse.  So I thought I'd check with you guys that finished 6 months before I will.  

How curly will my hair be?  I have heard of hair growing back to look like Napoleon Dynamite's hair (blond "afro").  My hair was very curly to start with... and I'm dreading that it might grow into a 'fro.  Did any of you end up with hair the same (or straighter) than before? 

Also, I was wondering about color.  My hair was dark brown with about 5 gray hairs in it before.  Now it seems to be coming back salt & pepper.  Ugh!  How many of you had more gray after chemo?  Is it a permanent situation?

Thanks!  Sharon

Hi Sharon,

Congratulations on the wedding!!!!  What a wonderful way to start again!

 Your wondering about your hair were my thoughts exactly last April, wondering how I'd look for a long awaited vacation in August.   I didn't get much at first.  I had a very sparse crop of white hair that didn't do much for a few weeks, then a heavier growth started to show up.  By August I had some very, very short curls, barely an inch, and I was still wearing a turban.

But everyone is different!!! 

Mizzy 

Sharon - Congrats on the wedding!

I finished chemo on May 11. I have about 2 inches of hair now. It came in thin, but has gotten progressively thicker. My hair was curly before and it's curly now - not really much different. My hair was grey before - it came back in colorless and then started to go back to its usual grey shade. I've been grey since my early 30's so no suprise there. I just color it.

Here's a pic of my hair taken this weekend. My hair is longer than it looks because in this pic it's really curly with lots of hair gel in it. I haven't had it trimmed yet.

I think the rest of my Jan. Chemo sisters should post hair pics too - I'd like to see them. 

Melia, ACK!  So glad you found a hotel room. Keep us posted. Those fires look just dreadful and so scary. Glad you are well though.

Amera

Try this one

Hi Ladies,

Sharon, welcome, and I agree with everyone, you should have at least a cute pixie by your wedding. I'm like Caya, on Herceptin and hair growing slower than it used to but it's long enough that I no longer get looks when I go out, and like Rebecca I just slather on the mousse. Mine was always stick straight but now it has "ruffle" curls like a guinea pig, and it's darker than it was now that the last color rinse is wearing off.

Melia, we are so thinking of you. Hoping that crisis is soon over for you and so many others.

Rebecca, my heart went out to that young mom. Between her and the "brain tumor" student, you are as much social worker as teacher. I agree there should be more help with higher education for those who need it.

Caya, so sorry to hear about your MIL, how awful at her age. We'll just pray it's confined as you said.



I was on chat for a bit earlier on but left as I started feeling nauseous, I've had that problem for several days, very mild but persistent but sometimes intensifies and then I need to eat a cracker or something. I have no idea why. It didn't help that the neighbor's dog kept me up half the night again, and my mediport has started hurting every time I lie down so that it's hard to nap. I could go on whining for hours, it's been one of those days but all piddly stuff compared to houses threatened by fire and young moms struggling to survive in school. I'll call my doc tomorrow if it keeps up. - Skye

Melia...somehow I missed your crisis...having to evacuate, a hotel room.  You must feel devastated.  Praying that your neighborhood is spared and you can go back home soon.  Hope the your family is OK too!!!

Jan and Joni, the pictures are marvelous.  I am so impressed to see how nice we look with short hair.  Used to think you had to have long hair to be feminine, now I almost feel sorry for those long haired gals...hair that just hangs and needs so much fussing!!!

Yah, we've all got hair on the brain all right.   Mine has the texture of a Yorkshire terrier....when I wake up it's all sticking straight up two and half inches or so..  When I wet it, it curls down more like a poodle and looks a little more natural.  I'm looking forward to January when I have a little more length to work with.

Five days of half ativans and I'm sleeping beautifully...all the way through the night without waking up!!!  This is working.  Next week I'll go down to quarters!! 

First pic is first week of chemo in January, the second one is 4 months post chemo late August.  I'm in a pretty bad hair phase right now so you'll have to wait a few months for a recent picture!!!

Mizzy 

Hi everybody,

Thanks so much for all the great replies and photos about hair regrowth.  You are all gorgeous!  I guess the secret is to get a good haircut that works WITH the curls.  :-)    

Right now I have perfectly straight 1/2" long hair, but it's really sparse and baby-fine.  I'm aiming for at least 1" and totally filled-in by the time I get married in January.  A pixie cut sounds like just the thing for the wedding!

Thanks again,

Sharon 

Hi all,

Melia,

I hope you can move back to your house real soon. Let us know what happens. Those fires are so horrible.

Skye,

"Calculating all the women's weight changes using mental math---OY!!!! I did panic last night- we were one calculator short—so we had to share. Before chemo brain, I did use mental math on members many times- but not now!!



Mel,

Welcome back. I missed you. I am glad you had a great time. I am also going back to work slowly, just substituting at first.

Caya,

I am sorry to hear about your MIL. I will send her positive thoughts.



I saw my Gyn today and we talked about the BRCA test and ovary removal. I told her that my oncologist told me to talk to my dd before I decide to take the test because it will affect her if I am positive and she might not want to know. When I spoke to my DD she was very quiet, so I gather she does not want to know. That is such a heavy burden to put on her at her age. As a result, my onc suggested I get my ovaries out instead of the BRCA test. Being Ashkenasi is not fun right now.



When I discussed this with my gyno today, she agreed and scheduled me for the end of November---YIKES!!!!!

I felt a bit rushed. No one in my family has had breast cancer and I really am convinced that mine is environmental.



When I told my sister, my best friend, and Ed, they all did not think it was a good idea. They are concerned that my body needs a rest after my pbm in August. They also think that I am jumping the gun with having my ovaries removed without any signs or symptoms. I think my sister wants me to have the BRCA test so she and my niece will know if it is inherited. I love them both, but I am not taking the test for them if my dd is not comfortable with it. My gyno is aware I had Diep surgery in August, and she is not concerned about the timing. Is she “surgery happy?” I like her very much, but I am now getting cold feet.



It is a bit soon after my surgery. I feel I need to speak to another doctor but I do not know who to turn to. I just changed my PCP. I might change again. I do have enough confidence in him. He is very young and I do not think he has enough experience or knowledge in this area to address my concerns. I do not know what to do. Sisters- what do you think?.

Oops- missing the Sox---- gotta go

Viddie