Visit to oncologist coming up

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wallan
wallan Member Posts: 1,275
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

Hi everyone:

   Well, I have my next 6 month visit to my oncologist next week.  It has been 3 1/2 years since this all began. And, you would think I would be calm and used to it by now.... but noo...o...o...

  I am anxious about the stupid visit already. I have full-blown canceritis. I have a sore neck on one side near my collarbone and in the front. It aches and aches. I have had this for quite awhile and have tried to ignore it to see if it gets worse. That is my new dogma. If you have aches and pains that are bearable and don't make you sick, wait and see if it gets worse before you freak out.

Anyways, now that my onc visit is imminent, my neck pain is worse. So I am starting to freak out. I guess I  need to vent and need reassurance from you gals.... you all know what it is like.

The sad news of bc sisters passing away on this site lately also play on my mind. Its just not fair to lose such wonderful people...

I guess I need your help!!

Wendy A

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2007

    (((((Wendy)))))....We know just how you feel and many of us go through exactly the same as you're experiencing. But you know the deal...ya do what ya gotta do...and you've gotta go for the f/u. Try to find as many distractions as possible beforehand (crafts, needlework, schoolwork....exercise?) and hold on tight. We'll be with you and, no matter what, it's gonna be okay. I promise. Worrying about it beforehand just won't change whatever is or isn't, so try to stay as 'un-miserable' as possible!

    ~Marin

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  • nowheregirl
    nowheregirl Member Posts: 894
    edited October 2007

    Don't you just hate that every little pain reminds us of the moment when we first heard the "C" word and scares hell out of us? I am sorry Wendy that you're scared. I guess the pain in your neck only feels worse because you're anxious about the upcoming appointment with your oncologist. I am sending lots and lots b9 vibes your way. Fingers and toes crossed for the good outcome. We will all be there at your appointment in spirits.

               

    Hugs,

    Fumi

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  • tawyna1
    tawyna1 Member Posts: 273
    edited October 2007

    hi wendy,

    i know it so hard not to be anxious . my mom goes nov 6th to her onc.

    you know you are always in my prayers. positivity coming from me to. 

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  • LuAnnH
    LuAnnH Member Posts: 8,847
    edited October 2007

    Wendy,

    This darn disease!  I will be thinking about you and hope you turn out to be a hypercondriac (spelling???).  That is so much better than a cancer patient.  Ok, that was my stab at humor.  I really hope you have a very uneventful appointment

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  • KariLynn
    KariLynn Member Posts: 1,079
    edited October 2007

    Hi Wendy,

    The mind is a terrible thing!  I always get new/worse aches and pains when a scan is coming up and it is generally nothing (and strangle cures itself after the scan results are in!)

    Try to distract yourself (any fall festivals in the area??) until you get back results.  I'm praying they're fine.

    Kari

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  • judyr
    judyr Member Posts: 61
    edited October 2007

    I Just went through the same thing this week. i'm only one year out from DX and just figuring out this paranoia thing out!

    It was a very helpful appointment, My Oncologist laid it out for me in such a wonderful way. She said, "You just give it all to me, anything you are worrying about tell me and then it is my responsibility to check it out, it is now on my plate".

    when I described the visit to my mom I started crying because it was such a RELIEF! I know that I am no longer objective when it comes to my health inteariorly I freak out at everything and that is normal. AND I have someone I can trust to bring it all to and leave it.

    this site has helped immensly as well, knowing that there are women out there that totally understand.

    Hang in there and know that you are in my prayers!

    Judy

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  • JoanofArdmore
    JoanofArdmore Member Posts: 1,012
    edited October 2007

    Wendy, I have learned from experience that tension gives us a stiff neck.(Where do you think the expression "You give me a pain in the neck" comes from?)I have had a FANTASTICALLY stiff neck!Disabling, actually! My then husband, and this was YEARS ago, had a friend at school whose family has a country estate.He invited us up for a fall weekend of shooting.

    I actually know how to shoot.But I was horribly shy of these ritzy people, and the thought of spending a weekend-well it scared me as much as it pleased my husband.So (sure enough)the day before we were to leave, my neck was SOO stiff.Ow!Ow! I could barely get my kids to my parents for the weekend.Then I could no longer hold my head up w/out pain.I lay in bed w/a hot-water bottle all weekend.My husband thought I was a sport to tell him to go ahead.

    My neck got mysteriously better when my kids came home.

    Hello?

    We have had a lot of sadness here.And this is scarey, too.Makes us tense.

    I'm sorry, and I hope your neck feels better soon.You KNOW it will after you see your onc!

    You'll be jubilent after seeing your onc.He will say you're doing beautifully.

    What a shame that each one of us must be so afraid before every onc check-up.

    As Marin said, we're with you.And wishing you the best.

    gentle hugs, j

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited October 2007

    Thanks ladies.

      Yes, I know I am just anxious about the followup. My neck pain is probably tension. And it is mysterious that it is so prominent in my mind now that I have to see the onc soon.

      At my last onc appt in May I had a sore shoulder that was xrayed. As soon as I got the results from the xray saying there was nothing there, the pain disappeared.....LOL LOL. I just laughed at myself.

      So this is why I hate going to doctors.  I don't know if my aches and pains are stress and hypochondria or something real. I mean, everytime I get them checked out there is nothing wrong really. So I feel silly going to the doctor with another symptom, going thru all the time-consuming tests and the anxiety and then (thank god) nothing is wrong.

      So my new dogma is "wait and see" if you get really really obviously sick or the pain gets worse. That way I waste no-one's time.

    But the oncologist visit is still stressful. It reminds me of what I went thru, the loss and grief and the terror. And then there is always that small chance they will find something wrong.

    This past week too I have been grieving the loss of my boob. Funny, I never really thought it bothered me so much. But I feel sort of resentful that I can't wear some of the styles and that a bathing suit and swimming is self-conscious to me now. And, that if I want to look more normal, it means more surgery, more time, more pain more uncertainty..... ugh!!!

    Well thats my vent. Whew!!! I feel better now.

    Wendy A

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2007

    Wendy, yep, we understand.

    Vent on, girlfriend.

    I'm going to the gyn next month.  On and off for a few months I've had this "catch" feeling in my groin aread when I walk.  So, what am I thinking?  OVARIES!!!!

    My aunt-in-law had a friend who was being treated for a "pull" (something like that) in her groin.  She had quite a bit of pain.  It was ovarian cancer.  Call me crazy!

    You WILL report back to us, right?  I'll bet that "pain in the neck" goes away as soon as you leave your onc's office. Wink

    Shirley

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited October 2007

    Yeah well the pain in the neck is getting worse... isn't that weird?

    Its in my neck at the front and lately there has been this pain from under my collarbone that radiates up my neck to the sore spot. It comes and goes, but the achy neck stays.

      I have convinced myself its mets and then I talk my self down. REally, I am nuts I think. Why do I do this to myself?

     I have no swollen lymph nodes that I feel, but it hurts to press on the collar bone.

    I can relate to your angst Shirley.

    So can sometime tell me they have had a sore neck like mine and it was because they hurt it sleeping funny or carrying a heavy bag or something??? 

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  • DragonladyTina
    DragonladyTina Member Posts: 371
    edited October 2007

    Hey Wendy,

    I'm your girl!! I have had a sore shoulder that radiates around my upper back and into my neck. It is generally always there but to different degrees. When the ache is at it's worst I am sure it is mets but then it will ease some and I am ok again. What a rollercoaster ride we are on! I had a bone scan in Feb and got the all clear but I still wonder "Hmmm, did they miss something?"

    It is the nature of the beast after some severely bad news (bc) to be on hightened alert and maybe even noticing things that earlier you wouldn't have given a second thought.

    I will bet money it is just tension, too much computer, etc etc.

    best wishes, Tina

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2007

    Sorry Wendy, but you're not crazy you're NORMAL.  I bet most of us ALL have these worries when an "unknown" pain hits.  Like my "groin pull"...some days it's fine and then other days it's much worse.  I will mention it to my gyn. 

    Okay, it's "next week" so you will soon find out all is okay! Wink

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