Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Caya, I forgot you had a port for the Herceptin.  It seems you should be done before May...  I had my infusion today.  3 more to go.  Never had a port and not sure why.  Took 2 sticks today and the second one was painful...right in the crook of my arm so if I bent my arm, it totally burned.

My onco. was doing all he could to talk me out of the hysterectomy.  He is so not on board with it..keeps saying "you'll go through menopause ten years earlier than you would have".  I'm like yeah, but the peace of mind.  He feels it won't do anything to reduce my risk, really, and feels ovarian cancer chance is slim.  Yeah, well I would have thought my BC risk was slim too.  I've had a history of ovarian cysts, currently have three of them.  I know it's good to have someone play devils advocate, but once you've made a decision, it kind of messes with that.

No problems with "Brittney" today, thank God.  Here's a visual for you:  she looks like Rosie O'Donnell at age 10. 

Congrats, Amera, on the good MRI news.  Such a relief.  You are now officially off to a good weekend!

Well, I'm obviously very late but...

Happy Birthday, Viddie!!!

and

Happy anniversary, Caya!!!

and Amera..... CONGRATULATIONS on the clean scan!!!!!

Oh Tina, I don't miss those angst days of childhood at all. Okay, maybe a little. I hope that crazy young wench and her family just take a chill pill and leave your son alone!

Wow, a cruise and a stay in Venice. That is wonderful. I hope Jan's taking massive notes so she can tell us all about it when she gets home.

I've got a date for my mastectomy now. November 13. That happens to be the one year anniversary of my surgery last year. It wasn't planned that way, just happened with the surgeon's schedule. She's decided to do a SNB. Said she's not going to take a chance of getting a report later that I did have a small cancer and then not know if the nodes are affected, too.

The appointment for a pre-op H&P is set. I've got to make a few calls about reactivating my disability claim. Then it's just clean my house and maybe get some Christmas shopping done before surgery. 

I'm ready to get this done. Then I'm hoping I can truly get into the mindset that I'm okay and it's time to move on.

Happy Thursday night, everyone.  

Cindy 

Hi all, Sorry been quiet, I am sick with a cold. sniffle sniffle cough cough! Yuk!

DH and I went to Son-in-laws uncles funeral. We drove up Tuesday (takes 3.5 hours to get there) The viewing was from 2 to 9 but the line was so long to get in It lasted until 10:30. The flowers and statues were so plentiful they had to put flowers in the kitchen and coat room. I never saw anything like it. He was well liked by the small town he lived in and they all showed up. People waited in line for 2 hrs. The church service the next day was tearful, standing room only. It was one of the sweetest heartfelt services I have ever been to. Zach (the son of the deceased) had alot of support from his As the World Turns friends as they all drove in from New York. It was quite weird to see faces you only see on TV. But they are all very nice regular people.

My father in law whom has never had surgery or has ever been in the hospital may have an aorta aneurysm and he is hysterical with fear. We will find out tomorrow what the deal is.

And yes Caya...I have lived in Ohio all my life and after my vacation out west ,people in Ohio are mean and crazy! I hate it here!

My DD's never had it easy in school either. Always a drama of some sort and the parents just don't care. So very sad!

Congrats are your genetic testing results and your anniversary!! You had a lot to celebrate!

My sister is going to get tested I hope! She is worried, she called me yesterday for my BC details because she was going to the Dr. and wanted to tell her everything. I have an appt. Wed with a Gyno. Ohh Boy!! As far as weight gain, I am the size of a two story barn!!! I blame it on Lexapro and Tamoxifen. My oncologist told me tamox would make me gain, I just didn't know it was 2 pounds everytime I took a pill!!! I am living on apples and lettuce, but no matter I am gaining away! It is awful, I am sure that menopause has alot to do with it as well. But I am what I am and still around to say that.

Hi guys, day off school here today in O-H-I-O. (During Buckeye football season they actually have the kids chant that out the school bus window.  Takes no time for kids to become indoctrinated into the cult!)  Ohio really is very nice.  I've met far more nice and classy people than losers.  I think I am loser magnet.  They always find me.

LOL about giving the scale amnesty.  I agree!  Although, Caya, steak is low carb so I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised when you jump on again.  And ladies, lets not forget we all have a little hair again which accounts for a few ounces! 

Cindy, glad you got your surgery date and it's not a whole lot of time to wait.  Please ask in advance about anesthetic for the SNB.  I agree, it's a worthwhile procedure, but I had zero anesthetic and I've heard others did.

Rebecca, thanks for the counterpoint on the hysterectomy.  The onco. had me freaked.  He finally said what I know he's been wanting to say for a longgggg time:  he said I may lose my sex drive.  I'm like what sex drive?    Sorry, but that subject is low on the totem pole in this house these days with all that's going on.  And we're both good with that.  It's OK.  TMI, ladies?  I feel I just need to do it, not think about it, and get on w/my life.  MY biggest concern is weight gain.  I've worked hard to get back down to a reasonable size... 

Nancy, sorry about your SIL's uncle...what a drive that was.  I must have missed the part about the As The World Turns gang being there.  I don't know whose on that show, so I prob. wouldn't recognize them.  And your FIL....scary stuff.  Don't know much about aneurysm's, but they seem so unpredictable.  Boy oh boy, did you get hit w/a lot of stuff so soon after vacation.

Ok, I think I have time now to post my two cents for the day J

A few days ago I posted that Frances was starting to struggle with math, and that I was upset (it was the day I posted the story about Owen's peanuts).  Well, the plot has thickened and I am absolutely furious. 

Frances failed a math quiz...which in itself is quite unusual, she is quite bright and we do homework together so I am usually aware if she doesn't get something.  Math is not her best subject, but she usually gets Bs.  So she comes home with this failing quiz, with a stamp on it that indicates I have to sign and return it.  Fair enough....but I am a firm beleiver in learning from mistakes so I sit down with Frances to go over the test and calculate all the correct answers, and perhaps help her resolve whatever it was that kept her from being able to do it the first time.  She starts calculating, and she gets the correct answer EVERY TIME, and needs no help from me figuring out how to set up the problems or anything.  So I asked her "WHAT HAPPENED?"  clearly she understood the concepts and had the skills needed to perform, but something went wrong.  She told me that the teacher instructed them to use "Mental Math", which I roughly translate as "Estimate", which I was already aware was a problem for her (we have worked on estimation strategies before).  So I look at the problems to see if I can help her with her estimation skills.  The test was multiple choice, and in one case she needed to do Mental Math to add up a list of three numbers, and then select the correct answer....she guessed 538, the answer was 541.  I ask you all...am I missing something? is this estimation?  In my book, estimation only requires that you be able to get into the ballpark....not calculate the exact answer!   I know that I can not add long lists of numbers accurately in my head!   Well anyway, I later found out that in her class of 27 or so students, only 6 of them passed this test. 

Hmmmmmm

So this is bad enough, but yesterday when I was going through Frances's folder, I find a little "progress report" note from the teacher informing me that Frances needs improvement in her Math skills.  Please sign and return. 

Dead silence

This woman is totally out of her mind.  Not only was I already aware of the failing grade, having gone over the exam with a fine toothed comb with my daughter, but the fact that the whole rest of the class ALSO failed the test should be an indicator to this woman that something is awry...either the test was administered incorrectly, or she did not teach the skill properly.  I would think that rather than send home nasty notes, she should instead consider either reteaching the skill, or readministering the test more appropriately.  Tests are diagnostic instruments...a lack of understanding indicates an action must be taken!  I have high fail rates in my reading classes, but I use the information to guide my future lessons...if students do not get it, I spend more time on it!  If nothing else, with such a high fail rate, the test should not be used in calculating grades because it is likely invalid. 

I sent the teacher a note, asking for some information, but although she replied to me, she did not answer my questions, and basically just said that Frances needs to work harder. 

Well, that is my two cents so far....this drama is not quite as soap opera worthy as Tina's tale, but it is aggravating nevertheless.

What do you guys think about this?  Am I right to be annoyed at the teacher?  Amera...I do not remember what grade you teach, but what do you think? Skye? Anyone else a teacher?

Out of time again...giving an exam right now, and they are starting to hand in papers, so gotta fly.  Catch you all later!

Ugh Rebecca - sounds like you have a teacher that isn't getting across to her students. I am not a teacher - but my consulting work happens to be related to how tests are developed and administered. And yes (duh) when that many KIDS fail a test something is wrong - and it's probably not on the kids end! My guess is that she didn't teach the skill well.

I have a personal dislike for teachers that insist something has to be done one, and only one, way. When I was in high school I made straight A's in chemistry. I had a fabulous teacher that would always show us multiple ways to calculate a formula and then let us pick what way clicked best for us. Then, when I took Chemistry in college I almost flunked because the prof instisted that everything be done only the way he preferred (which of course was never the method that I preferred). I struggled through that class even though the content was a repeat of my chem II class in high school. Bad proffessor - I ended up changing my major because of him.

OK, now I'm rambling. Point is that while I understand that sometimes a specific method/skill has to be tested - if the girl can figure out the correct answers something is just not right. I think you should arrange a face to face meeting with the teacher and ask her to explain to you what she is expecting Francis to be able to do and ask her to show you how she's teaching it in class.

Ugh - I am so frustrated for you!

I have a million more things I'd love to post, but I'm sooooo behind in work it's shameful. I've got to get focused.

BTW - loved the opera last night (although I was so tired by the end). 

Hi All,

Caya, soup .... I love homemade soup. I need to get motivated to make some.

Mary, hope your port site is feeling better. Sounds like quite an ordeal.

Nancy, I hope your cold is better. I am sorry about your fil and hope he will be ok. And the funeral sounds very touching, quite a tribute.

Cindy, did you have any trouble talking the dr into the mastectomy?  I am still mulling on having the "good" one off. I see my dr on the 30th.

Skye, I hope your bone feels better. You sound like you are working awfully hard. Are you cutting yourself enough slack?  But your work always sounds interesting to me.

Lynne, I hope your back feels better. Aren't you tired of injections and procedures?  I am trying to talk myself into a flu shot.

Rebecca, I used to get so aggravated with the kids' teachers. I think if I had not worked with them on their writing and their dad on their math, they would not have done nearly as well as they did. I used to welcome the school holidays so homework would go away!  We spend so much time building up their confidence, and then some inept teacher tears it down.

Tina, hope both Pauls are ok.

I am winding down at work, really glad it's the weekend. I have a repairman coming to the house today to re-do a marble table top that I love, used to be my grandmother-in-law's. He is going to strip off the old varnish and put on a natural polish.

I am still trying to sleep without ativan. One half seems to work, so maybe I will do that for a week or so and then go to a quarter. I am so haunted by nightmares. I think I am ok during the day, but the fears really come out at night. And yesterday I had a twinge in my back, of course it was kidney mets. Then a twinge on the right which I was sure was liver. I have got to calm down.

I went to the gym wigless yesterday. Very exciting, very sweet women there.

Sweet dreams all.

Melia

PS Rebecca, it could even be coming from the District Head, in which case I'd complain there.

I swear, I have become highly needle phobic. I had such a terrible experience with the chemo nurses not finding veins, I get way too anxious about being stuck. Too bad we are all having such a difficult time with needle sticks. We really should all get a pass on that one. I don't suppose it helps only being able to use one arm either.

And I hear you on the canceritis. I had headaches on and off for a few weeks and I was convinced I had brain mets. They were those weird "zaps" some of you have been getting on Tamox, and I'm not on it. I finally figured out it was from continually grinding my teeth. I'd wake up with headaches and my jaw would really hurt. I swear my teeth will be nothing but dust if I keep this up.

That and the stress eating is really getting to me. I am really overdoing it. And I have been so busy with dr appts and being out of work and needing to stay late to do sub plans etc, that I haven't  been to the gym much. When I do find the time, I really just want to come home and sleep. I am eating myself silly and it does not feel good. I am really hungry though. I know some is stress, but I just cannot seem to fill up some days. Anyone else? I did read somewhere that chemo will do that to you even after you are done. At any rate, that's my story and I'm sticking with it.

Melia, I was just telling my mom today just how sick and tired I am of Dr's, hospitals, waiting rooms, needles, tests, etc.  I hate it and there is no end for me in the short term, ugh!  Were you taking Ativan every night?  I take it about 3 or 4 times per week and don't really have a problem sleeping on the nights I don't take it. 

Amera, canceritis is right...it's all so scary.  Hopefully it will subside for all of us as time passes.

Skye, yes, I can go back in the hot tub after a week.  Too funny about the squirrel knocking at your door.

Tina, DH and I went to Carraba's once and loved it, just haven't gotten back yet.  Glad you had a nice dinner and good for you for enjoying a beer at the pub with your dh, you two deserve the break!

Mel, where are you girl? Please check in with us!

Joni, missing you a lot, looking forward to hearing about your wonderful trip!

love and hugs!

Melia - when I was taking Ativan I took a whole pill to sleep. I tried cutting down to a half pill - but they gave me horrible, horrible nightmares. For me it was a whole pill or none - the half pill just made it worse. I don't know if that helps or not. I sure hope you get some sleep soon - lack of it really hurts everywhere else.

We had our neighbors over for dinner tonight along with their 3 kids. Several hours of our combined 5 kids (plus two dogs) running around my too-small house like maniacs. They had a blast. I'm glad it's over. Their youngest (6) stayed for a sleepover. They both just fell asleep and it's 11pm. They'll be exhausted tomorrow.

Happy Saturday, ladies!

The concert last night with the 4 Bitchin' Babes was a hoot. They sang about the Boob Fairy, Homeland Security, the gift of a challenged child, being a mother, family photographs, anger management, Viagra.....it was great. They do have a website. Google them and find out if they'll be in your area and then take some friends. You'll have a great evening!

Jan, I hope I have grandchildren while I'm young enough to enjoy them. I'm afraid I'll turn into a crotchety old lady grumbling at the neighborhood kids. Your evening with the neighboring family sounds like fun and exhausting and challenging to me all at the same time.

Lynn, I got a a little teary today. I'm digging out my bedroom and found the card and candle that you sent with our wonderful framed list.  It's quite the sisterhood we belong to, isn't it?

Viddie, I'm so glad you're perky again! There ought to be some benefit for the agony. I sometimes feel a little perverted - staring at younger women thinking "Love them now! Maybe you ought to take a photo so you'll remember how lovely they are!"  I do hope the healing continues for you and the drainage stops.

Rebecca, your daughter so has my sympathy and understanding! I was a straight A math student in grade school. When I got to Jr. High, the teacher just destroyed me and I became convinced that I couldn't ever understand more advanced processes and theories. It's one of the main reasons why I didn't go to nursing school right after high school but waited until I was in my 40s. Your daughter is blessed that you're aware of what's happening. My mom was not, I fought that losing battle alone. You go, MOM!!!! 

I'm rather excited about the SNB this time! Dr. Grange tells me that she's found if the injections are given immediately after the patient is asleep, that's enough time for the dye to get where it needs to go. I won't even be aware of the injections and won't have the emotional response that I had last year to that final assault on my breast before it was removed. That was definitely the worst part of the mastectomy last year. 

Well, back to the bedroom. It's time to sweep, vacuum, dust, and rearrange a little. Then maybe there will be time for some football watching this afternoon.

Hope y'all have the lovely sweet air and  sunshine that is here in Iowa today.

Cindy 

Cindy, yes, it is quite the sisterhood we have.  We are so lucky to have each other!

When I had my mastectomy last December, they injected the die after I was asleep, never felt a thing.  I was sad to hear how awful it was for many of you before your surgery getting the die injected, glad you aren't going to go through that this time.  When I get my left breast proph. mastectomy, I don't think my surgeon will do SNB.  I think she would have mentioned it. I'll ask at my pre-op appt. in November.

Mary, I never heard of Sweetest Day, sounds like a fun holiday to me!

Jan, boy, you had a houseful last night.  The days of little kids running around are over for me, at least for now (until grandkids...yikes).

Viddie, how often are you appts. w/ Dr. Lee?  Did you go ever week for several weeks after your surgery.  I haven't gotten my information yet and am wondering how often we'll have to drive into Boston.  So sorry you are still leaking on one side, I'm sure it's hard to be a patient patient!  Hang in there, hugs!

I read on another thread that breastreconstruction.org is opening tomorrow.  I'm going to check it out for as much info as I can before my surgery.

Well, I have good news and bad news about the streriod injection.  One of the side effects is insomnia from the steriod.  Boy oh boy, after takign an ativan at midnight, then an Ambien at 4am, I finally fell asleep around 4:30, then back awake at 7:30.  I need to stay awake through the Red Sox game tonight as we're going out to watch it. Then I can crash!  The good news is that I think I'm already feeling relief in my back.  There was some slight pain this morning, but nothing like it has been.  I could actually get out of bed, sit on the toilet and brush my teeth without cringing with pain!  They said it could take a week to take full effect, so maybe it'll get even better! woo hoo!

Jooonnnniiii!  You're back!  I'm so happy you had a fabulous time and look forward to your pics!

Evening...I am relaxing with a glass of sangria. DH and I took the dogs for a walk, they are all worn out and sleeping. DD is working and so the nest is empty.

My FIL has got 2 aneurysm's, but he only know of the one. We did not speak of the other, because he is so beside himself. The good news is according to the Dr's they are mild. So the protocol now I guess is to watch and wait. HMMM.... I wouldn't much care for that.

Now my hubby is having pains in his side and lightheadness. He has a Dr. appt. Monday. This will be the 3rd time on the side pain. we have been told muscle spasm, pulled muscle, had him on celebrex and the pain is still there. I am about ready to find a new Dr. This one must be burnt out, or something. Sorry, I have been so angry here lately at the medical profession I can't even tell you.

I had a crown... a gold one nonetheless not by my choosing put on a moler. This tooth was not giving me any problems, but after a through evaluation I was told it needed a crown. Ok I'm not the expert so I go for it. Well now I am the "proud owner" of a solid good crown over a tooth that was ground down to nothing and now needs a root canal! This tooth is killing me. I am so freaking mad at this dentist and I can't even bear to tell my husband. I don't know how to handle this. This guy is a good friend of my boss, My boss recommended him to me. I can't not under any terms afford a root canal. I don't have dental ins. I am so stressed by this. I don't know what in the world to do. I do know that I feel completely screwed. I have been eating advil like crazy. I told the Dentist I was in pain and all he said was I guess you need a root canal, I have a Dr. I can send you to. I couldn't even respond. I am just not a very forceful and demanding person, nor very diplomatic in handling problems. I just don't know what to do.