Hoda Kotb--take 2 the peaceful version

I saw the story about her and her interview on the nightly news last night.  I was so impressed with her openness and honesty, particularly the fact the she said that she had a mastectomy - often when public figures have mastectomies they simply don't mention the type of surgery they had.   She showed both tears (when talking about her diagnosis) and strength & resilence (when talking about moving on after cancer).  I could identify with pretty much everything she said. 

I haven't had a chance yet to find out more about her story, but definitely plan to do that soon.  Hopefully there are some links on the NBC website.  

Anna:  All I can say is wow.  Some of those things you said hit home.

Nicki

In a spirit of Sisterly cooperation and encouragement, here's a web site where you can pass along your thoughts and best wishes to Hoda:

http://allday.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2007/09/10/353197.aspx

Yep, I sent her a message asking her to be aware of her lymphedema risk and the simple steps she can take to protect herself from it. Don't imagine it will see print on the website, but hopefully it will at least alert her!

Binney 

did hoda have alot of lymph nodes taken? that usually raises the risk for lymphadema doesnt it?

i thought it was kinda sad to find out she dated her husband for 10 years , then got married , and in less than 2 years theyre separated. how does that happen.

i love the song shes addicted to, though.

 sorry you missed it. i posted as soon as i found out it was gonna be on, but we also were getting a huge rain storm so or internet was on and off for awhile.

they recapped the entire piece from the today show, plus a little more. then they brought out jo dee messina as a surprise and she sang hodas favorite song for her. i think the name was something like "was that my life".  hoda was crazy excited, and sang the whole song (in the background of course) jo dee also brought her fiance' and he made hoda a wooden box for keepsakes and they mounted the words to the song inside the lid. they also made reference to the fact that jo dee was getting married in three days and still made the trip for a surprise for  hoda. that would mean she got married today. congrats to her.

i sure am glad i only had 5 nodes taken in my surgery. that makes my odds of not getting it pretty good, i think.

I'm going to try again, being in a better state of mind today.  I was obviously not in a good place yesterday.  Here is what I meant to say:

I was reluctant, to be honest, SCARED to post on this board because the last thing I need to hear right now is how I'm not dealing with having breast cancer appropriately.  That is exactly my point in posting on this thread.  I don't want to hear how I'm not brave enough, that I'm not being "inspirational" or I should think of those who have it even worse than me or develop, in my opinion (having been molested as a child) some warped sense of humor.  Comparing these two ladies is doing exactly what I feared about this board, in my opinion.  Where do any of us come off deciding what way of dealing with our diagnosis is the right or wrong way? 

I think both these ladies handled their situations according to what they could handle.  I don't think either handled it better or worse than the other nor that it was some kind of journalistic competition.  One felt compelled to share her experiences and seek support and EDUCATE her public; the other chose (as I did) to only share her experience with people who could truly help her and didn't feel the obligation to "inspire others".  I personally went the private route and though our younger children know I've been sick, and to be "gentle", my wife and I haven't told them or our shared older children exactly what is going on.  We are in the middle of another adoption, and I'm struggling with the disapointment of not being able to nurse our new baby.  We share three young adult children from previous marriages, I've had two children via gay friends of ours (who have happily agreed to remain part of all of our children's lives!) and we're on our second adoption; the first I was able to nurse because of the timing, but obviously, this sweet China doll will be on formula and I will sorely miss the connection and health benefits we will miss out on.

I'm thoroughly sick of the "pink" campaign and am disgusted with the companies that pillage the movement into making major bucks (for example, though I LOVE Campbell's soup but they only donate $300,000 to breast cancer research centers, including $100,000 to the Komen Foundation, in spite of receiving huge advertising endorsements and major floor displays in the vast population of the grocery stores which sell their products.)

I'm editing my last paragraph in case it's too personal.  All I can tell you is that it is hard for me to post because I don't want the slams; I don't agree with you that one newscaster is better than the other and that I hope every woman (and man) deals with this disease according to their own comfort levels rather than what someone on a message board decides is the proper decorum.

Anna

Anna, I understand what you are saying.  Please feel comfortable posting here.  It is very unusual for any woman on this board to be "mean spirited."  Once in a while our hear stands up on the back of our necks and we say something that we shouldn't.  But don't think that this happens all the time.

Please come back and post.  We welcome you!

Shirley

Definition of a cancer wannabe:  Someone who comes to a breast cancer sight and lies to everyone telling them she has cancer when indeed she did not.  Its just that plain and simple.

Well, I was just responding to staykats comments about mean girls chasing someone away.  She used the term cancer wannabee and I gave a definition of it.

Of course many definitions and terms are dangerous, yet used frequently by those who dost protest.  What comes to mind is "the emporer has no clothing."  That seems to circulate alot around different topics.

One should not dictate what another wants to say or where she wants to say it.  We all are different and have different ideas.

Here in Chicago, a local newswoman got breast cancer and needed chemo.  She took time off to go through treatment.  That was her choice, although she did set up a way for many to communicate with her via email.

What concerns me about RW is that she may be giving the wrong perception to many.  Everyone that watch GMA will think this whole journey is a piece of cake and it isnt.  But its her choice to work, I respect her for that, anad only wish her the best - getting through chemo isnt the easiest thing to do.

I dont really know Hoda, but Im interested in her story too.  Im intersted in everyones story, always comparing their stories to how I went through this journey.

Nicki

I don't really think that Robin is making the story "her story" .... I believe she has focused on black women with BC ... not herself, although she mentioned her feelings. When she interviewed Tony Snow, it was about him until he brought her into it.  I really think that even tho we KNOW she is going thru it and she does mention herself in passing, the bc stories are about treatment, exams, etc.

Just like Charlie Gibson would mention what he made for dinner the other night, I think Robin mentioning her sensitive nose is the norm for a show like GMA.... now if she were on the evening news like Katie Couric is now, it would not be appropriate.

If I'd been as lucky to have as public a persona as Robin or Hoda, I'd like to think I'd be as public with my battle as possible. I'd shave my head publically (once Britney or Natalie Portman or any other "Hollywood type" does it, the world expects them to be bald!) so I wouldn't have to wear the damn friggin' wig in the dead of summer amid hot flashes. I'd tell women about the numb arm and drains and what it feels like to have those bandages come off for the first time. I'd let them know that I was actually stronger physically than I'd ever been during chemo. That I gained a "glass is half full" attitude and that none of my teeth fell out. I'd also be there when the chemo ended so they could see my hair and color in my face come back.

Since I didn't have that outlet I hid in the shadows, in my wig for months on end. I felt like a cancer patient and I hated every minute of it.

It's not for anyone to say what's right or wrong about how we handle our own cancer. Journalists write. They photograph. They document. Good for them. The truth about BC needs to be told. I have a friend who has a PhD and no matter how many times I tell her BC isn't "curable" she STILL uses the word "cured." It's maddening. I think all of the women in the media who have had BC need to step up, stop being in denial and tell the truth of their journey IF they are going to open their mouths at all, that is. Don't sugar coat it, let women know what they are in for and that they will be ok and possibly even a better person at the other end.

Just my opinion!

Erica

Ok, Amy, I'll bite ... tell me how RR is biased.  Where has she "advocated" a treatment?  Where has she said which is better: mast or lump?  Where has she even told us what her treatment course is? How do we know if she has even looked into alternative treatments? Or going to Mexico? We have not heard OPINION on anything regarding cancer except:  get checked early. She has said what every medical person says: early dx = better survival chances.

Please stop stating your opinion as factoids..... Just because she is a morning tv show host (not really a reporter anymore) doesn't mean that she is reporting about bc in a biased way.

And I think her audience, many who think of her as a "family" member want to know about her.  Frankly, I don't think she is telling some of them enough of what she is going thru.  It's enough for me, because we already lived it but others have no clue what she is really going thru. 

I'm in agreement with Rocktobermom.  You put it quite well.

I know many, many times we ladies get a bit angry when one doesn't TELL IT ALL.  Most of us want the truths to be known. 

I don't CARE if RR makes this about HER.  I haven't watched the show often.  What I do care about is truth...truth in reporting.  It IS about her.  Why not?  And it's about other women as well.

Women and men are fighting this battle everyday.  Perhaps those who have not been through bc or been touched by family or friends will not understand the depth of despair, fear, loneliness for some.  We somehow pick ourselves up and climb that mountain.  Then we find ourselves tripping over a few pebbles now and then.  The TRUE faces of breast cancer needs to be told. 

Hoda didn't want people to know.  I'm sure RR had to make the hard decision on whether or not to tell the world about her cancer.  Each person, as been said over and over and over AGAIN, handles this disease differently.

I applaud RR and Hoda for sharing their experiences.  I think it's noble of them to make it THEIR CHOICE of HOW they want to share.  I still don't see it as a journalistic story.  It's what it is....a breast cancer story