I am caregiver
Hi Everyone,
my wife had right breast DCIS in 1994, lumpectomy and radiation. We went through all the turmoil back then. Mammograms every year were stressful regardless of the outcome. After 10 years being cancer free really thought we were cancer free. Late last year while wife was preparing for a spinal fusion, we found a mass on her left breast. Invasive ductal carcinoma. She had a double mastectomy and TRAM flap reconstuction in August and is now going through chemo. Will be done with "monster chemo" in December if we can stay on schedule. Then Herceptin for 8 more months.
At this point we are just trying to get though these next few months. Looking for the light at the end of the tunnel.
Comments
-
"Looking for the light at the end of the tunnel" and hoping it's not an oncomming train!
Have you read "The Breast Cancer Husband? I hear it is really a good book. You sound like a great guy, you two sound like a good team, too.
Please come here often and I hope many other caregivers will meet with you and share.
I know how hard it can be on the one who is doing the giving, I did it thru my dh's 2 bouts with cancer and it is tough to find the right "speed" of doing for and letting them do what they want and need to do for themselves.
What I found I needed most was to VENT, and not be judged about what I said. I didn't mean a lot of the bad stuff I said, I just need to *itch and let loose once in a while about stuff that ticked me off and I could't say to dh.
It was a big help to have someone I could trust not to throw that up to me when it was all over. Hope you have that someone. If not, you can private message me and I promise to have it go in one ear and out the other.
Jim, (my brother's name) you are a good guy, hang in there and keep up the good work, but take care of yourself so you can take care of her, too.
-
Hi Good Husband, your wife is lucky to have you.
People have more than one cancer. This is not that unusual. It is sure rotten, but it does happen.
What to do? Well, sounds like you two are doing all the right things. You have no reason to be any more frightened of this than if it were the original event.
Just be sure she has mammo's every 3 to 6 months for awhile and I would like her to have an MRI every 3 years, say. Just for peace of mind.
Then, as best you can, just move on.
Here in San Diego we had a man named Larry Luchinno. He was the Padre Baseball Team's General Manager. About 20 years ago he had Lymphoma, he had a stem cell transplant and recovered. Then, about 10 years after that, he got colon cancer. He recovered from that and is just fine. No fun, that is for sure, but not fatal.
Cancer runs in families and runs in people. About all you can do is be super vigilant with what you can do, colonoscopies are so important, PSA tests for you, mammo's for her. Just all the things that you know help diagnose this beast in time to do something about it.
I know this is so discouraging, but you should both be just fine. Just keep on keeping on.
Gentle hugs, Shirlann
-
Hello all-
I am a college student who is taking a course on breast cancer and want to learn more about thise living with breast cancer. After my aunt discovered she had breast cancer her life changed drastically. They had to remove both of her breasts, having a part of her womanhood removed. She then had to undergo chemo in which she got very sick and lost all of her hair. Soon after, she went through radiation. For a year, she stayed inside her home, unable to live her everyday life. Such a vibrant woman stripped of her personality and confidence. Its been two years since and shes doing great. My mom and I were there every step of the way and with the love and support from those around her, my aunt made it through. You all inspire me more and more with your posts and feedback. Are there specific topics discussed or any abbreviations in specific used?
Categories
- All Categories
- 679 Advocacy and Fund-Raising
- 289 Advocacy
- 68 I've Donated to Breastcancer.org in honor of....
- Test
- 322 Walks, Runs and Fundraising Events for Breastcancer.org
- 5.6K Community Connections
- 282 Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 53 Australians and New Zealanders Affected by Breast Cancer
- 208 Black Women or Men With Breast Cancer
- 684 Canadians Affected by Breast Cancer
- 1.5K Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
- 455 Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets
- 260 High Risk of Recurrence or Second Breast Cancer
- 22 International, Non-English Speakers With Breast Cancer
- 16 Latinas/Hispanics With Breast Cancer
- 189 LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer
- 152 May Their Memory Live On
- 85 Member Matchup & Virtual Support Meetups
- 375 Members by Location
- 291 Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 177 Singles With Breast Cancer
- 869 Young With Breast Cancer
- 50.4K Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis
- 204 Breast Cancer with Another Diagnosis or Comorbidity
- 4K DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)
- 79 DCIS plus HER2-positive Microinvasion
- 529 Genetic Testing
- 2.2K HER2+ (Positive) Breast Cancer
- 1.5K IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)
- 3.4K IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)
- 1.5K ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)
- 999 Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis
- 652 LCIS (Lobular Carcinoma In Situ)
- 193 Less Common Types of Breast Cancer
- 252 Male Breast Cancer
- 86 Mixed Type Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned
- 189 Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care
- 488 Second or Third Breast Cancer
- 1.2K Stage I Breast Cancer
- 313 Stage II Breast Cancer
- 3.8K Stage III Breast Cancer
- 2.5K Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
- 13.1K Day-to-Day Matters
- 132 All things COVID-19 or coronavirus
- 87 BCO Free-Cycle: Give or Trade Items Related to Breast Cancer
- 5.9K Clinical Trials, Research News, Podcasts, and Study Results
- 86 Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries
- 828 Employment, Insurance, and Other Financial Issues
- 101 Family and Family Planning Matters
- Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer
- 26 Furry friends
- 1.8K Humor and Games
- 1.6K Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
- 706 Recipe Swap for Healthy Living
- 704 Recommend Your Resources
- 171 Sex & Relationship Matters
- 9 The Political Corner
- 874 Working on Your Fitness
- 4.5K Moving On & Finding Inspiration After Breast Cancer
- 394 Bonded by Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Life After Breast Cancer
- 806 Prayers and Spiritual Support
- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
- 28.7K Not Diagnosed But Concerned
- 1K Benign Breast Conditions
- 2.3K High Risk for Breast Cancer
- 18K Not Diagnosed But Worried
- 7.4K Waiting for Test Results
- 603 Site News and Announcements
- 560 Comments, Suggestions, Feature Requests
- 39 Mod Announcements, Breastcancer.org News, Blog Entries, Podcasts
- 4 Survey, Interview and Participant Requests: Need your Help!
- 61.9K Tests, Treatments & Side Effects
- 586 Alternative Medicine
- 255 Bone Health and Bone Loss
- 11.4K Breast Reconstruction
- 7.9K Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 2.7K Complementary and Holistic Medicine and Treatment
- 775 Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results
- 7.8K Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 7.4K Just Diagnosed
- 1.4K Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy
- 5.2K Lymphedema
- 3.6K Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
- 591 Pain
- 3.9K Radiation Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 8.4K Surgery - Before, During, and After
- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
- 98 Acknowledging and honoring our Community
- 11 Info & Resources for New Patients & Members From the Team