scheduling an explantation and mildly freaking out

Options
Anonymous
Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
edited June 2014 in Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy
scheduling an explantation and mildly freaking out
· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2007

     am 4 3/4  years out, and had a bilat. mastecotmy and immedate reconstruction with double lumen implants. i have had severe limb pain (bone pain) for 41/2 years. i have recently learned that my implants have ruptured, and am having them explanted asap. i am worried about feeling disfigured afterwards, and coping with putting boobs on (when i feel like wearing them). i am a choreographer, dancer, and movement educator, so i am very tuned in to visual aesthetics. i have a very strong sense of self, and part of my work is to help women realize that they re not objects and to rail against the mass culture that does much damage. my PS has pushed for DIEP flap, but i feel i have been through more than enough (also thyroid cancer and a hip replacement). i wonder if you can put offer me any words of wisdom. i hate myself for occasionally yearning for the results of DIEP flap (not the process!) and am afraid i will feel depressed with a flat chest...  oh well, at least i am part way there, since i have funky implants and no nipples. thanks so much.

    adele p.s. do push-ups and pec flies help??? 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • wallycat
    wallycat Member Posts: 3,227
    edited October 2007

    Hi Adele,

    push-ups can only do so much...it will never give you a nice "mound" of protrusion to mimic even small breasts.  Men who lift/exercise still have fat pads that help them; ours have obviously been removed.

    Please do not be afraid of the flat look.

    Certainly because our society is boob-happy and you see cleavage everywhere you look in magazines or TV, it does weigh on your mind.  

    I used to be a 34D and loved my breasts.  I got a huge amount of attention and (if I say so myself) looked great in clothing.  Men had various nicknames for me during my dating years because my body was slim and my boobs were not Embarassed !

    I really worried about the surgery and how I would feel and look.

    Let me assure you that I am very, very happy with my look.  Sure, there are times I miss seeing my chest the way it was, but in no way does being flat make me hate it or feel ugly about it.

    My husband has always thought big boobs were matronly and aging, so he thinks I look YOUNGER Laughing !

    I don't know how old you are....if I were in my 30's or 40's, I may long for my boobs or a reconstruction.  I turned 50 within a few weeks of dx and at this point in my life, my sexuality is not wrapped up in my boob size (thankfully).

    I will say that exercise has been EASIER...sleeping has been EASIER....

    except for the loss of nipples/areola, I'd have done this years ago--without BC!

    Best to you and your decision! 

    Editing to add...I go flat...totally.   I don't even own forms or mast. bras.  I figure this is what I am like now and that's that.  No one has made comments or stared or made me feel uncomfortable.  

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Sandra1957
    Sandra1957 Member Posts: 1,701
    edited October 2007

    Adele - Why not give the "de-constructed" look a try?  You may find that you are totally comfortable flat. 

    I had a bilat. in 02/06 and thought that I'd like being w/o but wasn't.  I wore foam breast forms(like little pillows) because the prosthesis were uncomfortable to me (I tried three kinds).  I had expanders placed in October and switched to saline implants in June.  Although they still don't move, act, or feel like the real thing, I am more comfortable with these than without. 

    If you find that you are unhappy then you can always reconstruct.  I'm glad that I did try going without before my reconstruction.  

    It's such a personal decision.  I wish you the best with yours.

    lini

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2007

    thanks so much. i has a long conversation with my PS today and she said that she is worried about scar tissue forming both underr and over my pecs (the chest wall and skin glued to them).  she said having living tissue and circulation will help my muscle glide  and i will have freer and fuller range of motion. argh#*!  any thoughts?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • caaclark
    caaclark Member Posts: 936
    edited October 2007

    It really is such a personal decision.  I had a single mast. in July '06 after having a lumpectomy with bad margins and chemo.  I thought about reconstructing immediately but follwing the mast. I required radiation.  I am fairly athletic these days-running, elliptical, etc.  I wear a prosthetic all the time except when sleeping, although mine is so comfortable to me that I really could sleep with it.   I am currently 41 (40 at diagnosis) and have absolutely no desire to go through reconstruction.  I have absolutely no issues with range of motion.  Check out the breastfree site if you want for some additional information-www.breastfree.org.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SusaninSF
    SusaninSF Member Posts: 1,213
    edited October 2007

    Planetstrands,

    So sorry to hear about the problems with your implant. I think I can address some of your concerns because I also had a failed implant and I am also a dancer though these days I do more yoga than dance.

    I found that the implant (I had a unilateral) was very restricting to my movement though I noticed this more with yoga than with dance. For me at least, I am much more comfortable with the prosthesis. A good prosthesis with the right bra will move just like your other breast though you may have some wardrobe challenges. For example, I can no longer wear camisole-topped dance wear. If you are still performing and have no control over your costumes, this could be an issue though you could always go without prostheses.

    I didn't try DIEP and I know many women are very happy with it. I for one, could not put up with any more surgery and the down time associated with it. Once I had the implant removed, I healed pretty quickly and am now back to dance and yoga every day.

    You can read my personal story as well as those of others from this board on www.breastfree.org. If you haven't seen this site, take a look. It is fabulous and put together by one of our own, Barbara!

    PM me if you want to talk more!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2007

    finally, a decision! what a relief. it is so helpful to have found someone who has been explanted and asks the same of her body as i do. thanks, susan. flat and free i will be!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories