Rads - What Would You Do?

I am nearing the end of my chemo -- last treatment is next Wednesday. Can't wait for it to be over! Now the question is what about radiation?

I was dx'd with ILC in February. My tumor was estimated at 7 cm. I had a bi-lateral mast with immediate reconstruction. Two of the three nodes in my sentinel biopsy were positive, so then 12 more were removed in the axillary. None of those 12 were positive. Regarding the margins, the path report notes, "totally excised by microscopic examination, but approaching the inferior, inked margin to 1 mm grossly and 5 mm microscopically."

One of the reasons I opted for the mast was to avoid radiation. I couldn't (and still can't) bear the thought of going to radiation for six weeks. Additionally, I have very fair skin, and can't imagine what radiation might do to it, not to mention the implant. My initial discussion with my onc was that he did not think radiation was necessary. At my last appointment, I reminded him that he had a concern early on regarding the margin. Onc said he could consult with the radiologist regarding this. In my heart, I still don't "want" to do the radiation. On the other hand, my choices regarding treatment so far have been guided by trying to do everything I could to avoid a reoccurrence. The goal of doing everything I can at this point, however, is competing hard with my desire to be done with treatment and avoid radiation, however.

So . . . I trust my onc's judgment . . . if he says at my next appointment that they recommend radiation, I'll go through it. However, if he says, "No, I don't recommend it BUT . . . it's your choice" then what do I do? If you had the "option" to take radiation or not take radiation, what would you do?

Thank you all for reading and considering. There's so much knowledge here. I truly will appreciate hearing your experiences and opinions.

Thank you, thank you.  Yes, I'm a big-time worrier.  That's a good part of it . . . I think my treatment decisions so far have been based on "hitting it with the big guns" and therefore avoiding later worries or regrets.   And I have also come to believe that avoiding worry is good for my overall health, so I need to feel comfortable with the final decision and not continue to stew over it.   I guess I've just avoided exposing the fair skin to harsh conditions for such a long time that this is really causing a conflict for me.  And I have a strong desire right now to just be done with treatment.

I'm going to develop a list of questions for my next appointment and go from there.  I feel like I had a list of options and decisions to make when I was first dx'd.  It's as if I'm at another critical decision point now and need to find the strength to explore the options, the consequences, and the benefits again so that I'll feel like I've done everything I can.  Thank you for giving me the information and the strength to face this.

Just an update.  Thank you again for your advice.  I am being scheduled with the radiologist (my onc did not get the opinion independently).  No problem.  I'm sure it's hard to get another doc to respond, unless the patient is right in front of them.  I finished chemo yesterday, and am so glad to be done. 

Is the bolus the same as "mammosite"?