Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

IT IS PARTY DAY!!!!!!

I am smiling happy just thinking about you guys Caya and Melia.  Wishing you all a glorious day and a wonderful, special time! 

Jan, I was just thinking of making a hair appt in a month too.  Amera, did you get yours cut? 

Caya and Melia, thinking of you today.  Hope it is not too hot and that everything goes well.  Yes, just look at all of those wonderful people in your life!

Skye, thinking of you and your scans.

Tina, praying that your situation calms down soon.

Mel, congrats on going topless.  I can't believe it is going to snow in Denver!  It is suppose to be 90 tomorrow here in Detroit. 

Lynn and Viddie, hope you are having a wonderful time - and you too Joni!

My best friend hasn't called me in about a month.  Guess everything goes back to normal after chemo and radiation.  No one realizes the anxiety we still feel - except those in our group. 

Rebecca, hope your family is back to feeling better.

Sharon, Happy Thanksgiving!

Debbie, glad you are recovering from your radiation.  Enjoy the weekend, all

Lucky you, Cindy, seeing Elton John.  I missed him by a week when I was in Vegas last July, just before my dx.  We sooooo wanted to see him at Caesers.

Pics from Caya's big bash:

Oh Caya, what a beautiful family you have! And it sounds like the party was a huge success. I have to say, you look stunning. I adore the dress and your hair looks fantastic. I think it really suits you.

Funny how all of us look so good in really short hair. Who knew?

Rebecca - I'm with you on the energy level. I'm usually completely worn out sometime between 6 - 8 in the evening. The old me was always fine until at least 11. It's very frustrating. I am exhausted by the time DH gets home from work - I just want to rest when he gets home - but he isn't quite getting that.

I can't believe you are still dealing with that car. It makes me so mad - I don't know how you stand it.

We did the Komen walk Saturday morning. I wasn't quite ready for it emotionally. One lady came up to me and said "Congratulations" and honestly my first reaction was to yell "for what?" but instead I smiled and said thank you like a good girl. My team all wore butterfly wings - too over the top for me - but I was a good sport anyway. My kids, however, thought the wings were perfect and have been wearing them ever since.

The rest of the weekend was pretty good - but (as usual) went by much too quickly.  

Hi Ladies,

Well, it is over and the wedding was great!  Everyone has gone home, I have finished my errands and have put the house back together .... remember, we also had 50 or so for brunch on Sunday, so the house was a bit of a disaster. But we had more fun than you can imagine. I have never seen my daughter as happy as she was at the reception. She danced all night, laughed so much, was so beautiful. She had all her dearest friends and family there, so felt very loved, and had put a lot of effort into choosing the music for the party. Those kids danced and made all of us laugh .... gosh, it was fun. The weather was perfect all weekend. My other kids and their partners worked so hard right along with my husband and me, so no one felt overwhelmed and we all had a great time. I will email some photos to Jan to post (Jan, can you pm me your address?).  The flowers were awesome, roses, hydrangea, hyacinth, lisianthus. All in blues and lavenders. During the ceremony my older daughter, who was the matron of honor, and the groom wept, but not the bride. She just grinned and laughed.

So now I can get my life back to whatever normal is. Two weddings and cancer in 14 months, wow. I really want to focus on normality. I want to be able to work hard and effectively, I want to get my closets and pantry cleaned out, I want to lose weight, I want to live with some serenity. I want to give my husband some attention.

Rebecca, you shouldn't be in pain. I agree with Viddie, call your dr. And that car situation is past aggravating!  Jan, I couldn't do a walk now either. Too raw. And of course you are wiped out by evening; you have a job and two little kids, and you have been thru a huge physical and emotional trauma. I think the emotional part is just setting in for all of us. The physical we HAD to deal with, and now the dust is settling and we are starting to lift up our heads and look around. And it was hard, it was awful, we were brave, and now we are a bit in shock. That's what I think.

Viddie and Lynn, glad you are both ok.

Caya, I am so glad your party was fun and that you and your family had the chance to celebrate!  You have been thru so much as a group. And you are all so beautiful.  I thought of you Sat when we were partying too.

Hugs,

Melia

Hi Ladies,

Caya, that dress is completely elegant and you look fabulous in it. My son thinks your dds are total hotties. The menu had me salivating, and I'm so glad it went off without a hitch. Love that 70's wedding photo...I had to laugh because my dh had the exact same "Kotteresque" hairdo and mustache for our wedding! The photos were wonderful to see.



Jan I know what you mean about the Komen walks and the emotions. I get teary eyed just seeing them on TV, it was one reason I didn't push myself to do one this year, didn't know if I could handle it. And like you and Rebecca, I'm also totally wiped by 8 pm or so, and now wondering if that is a side effect of the Femara after all. Rebecca, I'm fuming with you over that car stuff. It's SO unfair! I hope you can unload it soon. Viddie, I'm so glad you had a delightful weekend. We did too with our friends, it was just what I needed.



Well, now for my news. CLEAN SCANS!!! Woo hoo! I was pretty much a wreck this morning, especially after they had to bring in the ultrasound machine to find a vein for the CT scan injection. My arm looks like it went thru WWIII. But that test, the bone scan, and my rib xrays all came out showing no evidence of other tumors or bone necrosis. The doc says he believes the painful bump is "just" inflammation from rads, though he cautions the inflammation could still lead to necrosis and nothing I can do but take care of myself. And to think he wouldn't even consider that possibility at first! He also said that the internal mammary node thing is not likely to happen since the area was radiated. AND he said that of all his patients, none of the ones who completed their full chemo and rads treatment on time have had recurrences, but ALL of those who either failed to complete them or prolonged it too much had relapsed. I thought that was pretty remarkable. Anyway, it took all afternoon to get my infusion done so I'm beat but very happy and relieved. My most profound gratitude to all of you for your love and support getting me through this. Now I must stagger off and call some people. HUGS! - Skye

First congrats to Skye - WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!

We're all so thankful that things are good. 

Caya, what a weekend for you. Beautiful photos, daughters, family. Holy buckets, what planning went into that celebration. Terrific!

Melia, your wedding sounds fabulous. It really made me smile to read about your family celebrating together.

I hear you ladies about doing the walks. I was registered for the Omaha Komen walk yesterday but I couldn't do it. I didn't want to be in the middle of 14,000+ people wondering what was possible coming next for me. Maybe next year.

Rebecca, do what you can to get rid of that car. Is your husband willing to act even though his mom may be upset? Are you stuck being the 'b' so he and mom will be okay?  

I had the day off as I'm working on Saturday. That meant I was able to get my car in for some work. $500 worth. Phew....I think we ought to get a pass on car work,too.

I had a great weekend of music. Elton John on Saturday. Great music but terrible sound and so flippin' hot, I've written a letter to the arena management and the mayor and the city council to complain. Man, can that guy play the piano! He was awesome. To hear him perfom "Levon" and "Your Song" in person nearly melted me clean away and that had nothing to do with the heat.

Then yesterday I drove with a friend to Loomis, Nebraska about 220 miles west of Omaha to hear Steve Seskin. He's a songwriter - "Life's a Dance", "Grown Men Don't Cry" "I Think About You" "Don't Laugh At Me" you might have heard. I've heard him the last seven years out in Colorado at the Folk Festival. He's a great story songwriter.  It was a lovely evening including a wine tasting, hors d'ouevres, friendly people and some aweome music. 

It all ought to keep me bouncing in my chair this week at work. I love live performances of any kind. Symphony, folk, rock, choral, gospel....it's all good. It somehow reaches into the heart and helps clarify, heal, encourage and entertain. I'll probably be on public assistance in my elder years because I've spent my money on music. Guess that's better than booze or drugs.

Have a good week, everyone! I'm off to the store to replace my expired milk. Ugh!

Cindy 

Well frig. I just typed out this huge post and lost it.

Anyhow, Skye, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! I am so very relieved for you. And encouraging words from your onc. Too bad he couldn't have mentioned that in the beginning, huh?

Rebecca, I just had a lumpectomy, but the rads really did a number on my incision site. It has been painful and tender ever sense. Much more so than after surgery even.

Melia, the wedding sounds wonderful. Cannot wait to see the pics.

Cindy, the didn't have the Qwest Center when I grew up in Omaha. We saw everything at the Civic Center. I am so jealous. I was listening to EJ this weekend and thought of you. Have never seen him live though. Lucky duck!

Okay, better get the kiddos to bed and post before this disappears as well. Oh I see the onc on Thurs and then have my breast MRI and mammo on Monday. Am not worried but a little anxious. I'm sure I will be seeking support as I wait for the stupid phone to ring with the results. Blech!

Amera

PS, getting the hair cut tomorrow. Let's hope this is not a HUGE mistake. I just want her to even it out. I'm tired of the big puff on top and the mullet in back. LOL!

Thanks everyone for the woohoos. I'll accept those any day.

Amera, my lumpectomy incision hurts since rads too, along with my breastbone. It is amazing how much damage something so painless can do over time. But hopefully, lots of tumor prevention too.

I'm trying to picture your puffball mullet, LOL. I think those were real popular about 20 years ago. :-)

Just about time for the style to come back!



Today there was a newbie in the chemo chair next to mine, a lovely woman in her 40s who looked 35 or so, just one week out from her first AC. She had such pretty hair, I felt bad knowing what she's in for. She asked me stuff the whole time and the nurse told me later she seated her next to me on purpose. The thing is, she has a 15-year old son with a rare disease that they thought incurable, then when she came to our oncologist for her cancer, found out he wrote a paper on this rare disease and told her of a possible cure! So she feels she got bc in order to learn about the cure for her son. At least it gives her a good attitude, whether true or not.



IowaCindy, would have loved to have seen Elton. Did he do Tiny Dancer? I think money spent on live music, art or fine chocolate is money well invested. - Skye

Skye, YAY!  What fabulous news...whew!

Caya, gorgeous pics!  You look beautiful in your dress!  Your girls are so sweet!

Melia, sounds like the wedding was wonderful.  You've been pretty busy the past 14 months, now you can take a deep breath!

Rebecca, I agree, you should call your Dr if you are hurting all the time...something doesn't sound right.

Amera, I've already had my hair trimmed a few weeks ago for the same reason.  I'm sure it'll come out nice!

Viddie, I take my tamoxifen in the morning around 9ish. Glad you are feeling well.

Cindy, my favorite Elton song is 'Skyline Pidgeon'.  It was on the B side of Daniel back in the days when you played records.  He sung it at all 3 concerts I've been to!

Thanks for all the compliments everyone.  And Melia , your daughter's wedding sounds like it was just lovely.  And now you can get back to some sense of normalcy.  I can totally relate. With Dh's aneurysm - Jan. 2006 and my BC diagnosed Oct. 2006 - IT"S ENUF ALREADY!!

SKYE -  I am so doing the happy dance for you - I just had this gut feeling that it could not be anything serious - chemo and rads recently finished, and still on Herceptin - alias Vitamin H - hey we will take inflammation anytime.  So glad for you.

Rebecca - definitely talk to the PS - you shouldn't be in pain.  And the car situation - OY!! - you and your DH are saints. 

Tina - glad that things are moving in the right direction.  Hopefully something good will come of all this for you.  Just sit tight for awhile and I just know that a window will open for you.

Viddie, I take my tamox. at dinner time, usually around 6 - 6:30 p.m.  In the beginning I found the night sweats were worse, but now they are not too bad.I have ostopenia and osteoporosis runs in the family - my mother and her 2 sisters both have it.  As you know, Tamoxifen is actually good for the bones, so hopefully this will help.  I'm still premenopausal, so I will probably be on Tamox. for 2-3 years, then see.  Unless of course I am BRCA+ ( get those results soon) then everything will be coming off/out pronto.

Jan, thanks again for posting those pictures. 

And Amera - yes it is funny how we all seem to look good with short hair.  I know I will never grow it real long again, I love the fact that I can shower and go outside in 10 minutes. But this is still a bit too short...  Good luck with your MRI and mammo, we'll be rooting for you.

Good night ladies.

Grrrrrrrrr .... i am home today to relax after the crazy wedding weekend. I tried to send a few photos to Jan but don't know if they went thru. My husband is a computer geek and he has the computers set up in such a confusing way. I do digital photog all the time at work and a large percentage of our sales are done based on photos that we email to buyers. So I am not unused to doing this. But I just do not understand what he does to these computers. If you don't get them, Jan, I will ask him to help me tonite.

Skye, I am still grinning about your good news.

Melia

Ok, another frustrating morning here in Edison.  Got the insurance statement for my surgery, which they finally agreed to pay for, but they only paid for about ¼ of the total charge, saying that the charges were more than “reasonable and customary”.  The PS office is still telling me to stay calm, and that they are still pursuing it, but I have this sinking feeling that I am going to wind up with a bill for $15K….which annoys me inasmuch as we ASKED the PS prior to surgery the first time regarding the cost, and he told us not to worry about it.  Sorry, but maybe in his world $15K is not a worry, but in MY world, it is a huge deal….that is more than I owe on my friggin CAR!  Had I known that it would cost that much out of pocket I think I would have at least explored the single in-network PS more thoroughly, and would very likely be wearing a prosthetic now….and would even MORE likely be exploring getting my insurance co to cover the out of network doc as in-network because of the lack of competent in-network practitioners….but all that takes time, and I did not have that time at the beginning end of this journey (nor was I forwarned about this potential outcome), so now here I am in a potential pickle.  It could still work out ok, so I am busy crossing my fingers.

I also called the lemon GYN to get my pap results (I want a copy of the lab report so I can go to the new, and NOT lemon flavored GYN next Monday) and they basically told me that I could not have it because the Dr needed to review it.  I said, well I have no intention of stepping foot into your office again, so it would be a waste of the Drs time, so why not just let me have a copy, and I was treated to a very snotty diatribe on their rules and regulations (which absolutely disregard my rights regarding my own medical records, BTW).  Thoroughly annoyed, I hung up and called my insurance company, lodged a formal complaint, and was given the phone number of the lab that was used to analyze my Pap. End result….lab report in the mail (Score…ME: 1, Lemon: 0).  I had a very strong urge to call the GYN back and thumb my nose at them, but I resisted.  Not worth my time.  Of course now I have to suppress the fear that the reason they will not release the info is that the pap was abnormal….they told me before that they only release normal results.  My last pap before my cancer Dx was abnormal, but at the time the doc said that it was probably because it was done too close to my period, and wanted to repeat it.  Obviously I never got around to it.

Oh, and the kicker of the whole story is that I saw that the office submitted the claim for my office visit, and they billed $740 for making me sit naked in an exam room for 45 minutes.  Totally inexcusable.  I hope that the insurance company denies the claim.  I dare them to try and collect from me…

THEN I tried to take care of that stupid elephant in my driveway….I thought I had it all under control, but it now turns out that my MIL spoiled the title beyond redemption by signing it in the wrong spot (she is very vain and refuses to wear her reading glasses) and now the title has to be replaced….which SHE must do herself.  So now I have insured the stupid thing, but it is still a paperweight in the driveway because I can not DO anything with it, and we are at her mercy and on her schedule….and she is VERY busy and not generally inclined to come over here.

AARRGGHHH!!!!!!!!

Boy, I have had a rough few days…nothing but complaints.  YECK!  I do not even want to be in the same room with MYSELF!

I better find something funny today….I need a good chuckle.