Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Hi guys, I'm posting from beautiful Wichita, Kansas (and I do mean beautiful). I'm here for two nights on the way to Colorado, to visit with my family. The weather is sunny, warm, dry and perfect, and I feel like I'm on vacation already. We brought Harrison along with us, and he is thoroughly enjoying himself, too. Hope I'll be able to find some spots with internet access so I can catch up from time to time while we're gone. Today was a sort of milestone for me. The first day I actually felt ok with going out in public without my wig. And I did it! Granted I'm not at home, but Wichita is home to me for most of my life and I know scads of people, so I count this as a breakthrough. I may have to buy a ball cap somewhere.

I'm totally with you all - all this pink, in your face, breast cancer awareness is going to be a drag. I felt totally different about it when I was not affected - now I don't really want them rubbing my nose in it. But I usually just avoid it when I can. No epiphany here, either. I'm just the same....have learned a few things, but I'm the same, just feel more vulnerable and hate pink. I think I'll work on an answer to have ready when people ask me what I learned, etc.

Lynn, I certainly hope you can bring yourself to indulge in a massage. Or two. At least find something you are comfortable with, and indulge! Mani/pedi doesn't seem like enough.

Cindy, big hugs to you, and I'll be thinking about you. I hope your good news comes sooner rather than later and that you can get things checked out sooner than Skye has. That really sucks that you have to go through the worrying again so soon. Skye, I'm not clear...do you think Kim called you back because you were calling for a second opinion? Whatever you did, I'm just glad things are in motion and will be waiting anxiously for word of your good results also. Glad your ds has plans to move, and hope for his sake it works out.

Viddie, can't believe you're leaving your idyllic cottage to go to a b&b. I guess a change is nice, but it sounds so perfect there. I hope to be enjoying my friends' cabin for about a week - the next few days are going to be hectic with lots of traveling and going back and forth, but on Sunday we should be settled in the cabin for a good week.

Caya, will be thinking about you and hoping you have a wonderful time at your party tonight!! Rebecca, the kids are adorable - who cares about an occasional mess when they look like that.

Tina, I'll be thinking about you and hope you get this mess straightened out. Melia, I can't believe you're posting with the wedding coming up so soon, but glad you are. I can't wait to see pictures, and do hope you'll share some with us. Sharon, glad your first day or two back at work went ok, and that your tests are coming back ok also.

Mary, Amera, Jan, Debbie, Robbin, Joni, Nancy, everyone else........I love you all and will miss my daily fix but will check in as often as possible. Take care everyone.

Ahhhhhhhh, Lynn....  I had a feeling you were at the same resort I stayed at.  Do they still have the Japanese restaurant...like a Benihana?  Funny, but I don't recall the five pools.  Probably because I was spoiled by having pools all around me at that time in my life, living in California.

Well, I saw my gyno today and we have a new plan.  I am canceling the D&C for next week and instead, I am having a total hysterectomy on Nov. 30.  She said I'm a good candidate for the ovarian removal due to the repeated cysts and because it can't be done laparscopically anyway, due to all my previous surgery scars, they may as well just do the uterus too.  I certainly don't need it.  This way I don't have to worry about developing uterine cancer either, from the tamoxifen...I know it's rare, but with my spotting episodes I could kind of see what was to come:  repeated uterine biopsies.  Just not up for any more invasive stuff.

Mel, congrats to you on going topless in Kansas!  Glad you are enjoying your trip.

Thanks everyone for the hugs.  The DH is near breakdown and it's very hard...  I was worried about him today.  Really.

Hey Ladies,

Mel, topless in Wichita! Eehaaa! Good for you, and sounds like you are having a great time!

Viddie you have a great weekend getaway, you surely have earned it...time to take those new girls out on the town and show 'em a good time.

Tina, I don't know anyone who's lost those lower parts and ever regretted it; most say they wish it had been done sooner to save a lot of distress. In the meantime, it sounds like you are being a rock for dh, and doing an amazing job of it. We're all in there with you, as best we can be.

Caya and Melia, have countless oodles of fun at those celebrations.

Rebecca, you do Girl Scouts? You are one brave woman.

Today I got an email from Office Max advertising pink file folders. This is getting a bit much. But I dutifully put my pink pearl bracelet with the silver ribbon charm on to wear to church choir, and the elastic broke, spilling pink pearls all over. At least I tried.

I only have 2 scans tomorrow...the scheduler didn't check guidelines or would have known you can't have an MRI and bone scan on the same day. So I still hve one more test to do on Monday. Mel, I think Kim finally got on the stick because of the email from the insurance, as she wouldn't have known I was looking for a second opinion already.

Sweet pink dreams to all. :-) - Skye

Amera, shame on that woman for expecting you to dip yourself in pink at Dx!  Show a teensy bit of sensitivity please.....not everyone cares to be an activist.  You are a private, low key person Amera, do not let this ridiculous person make you feel badly for being who you are.  Everybody responds to an experience like this in different ways.  You have responded in your own way, and it is healthy, wonderful and YOU.  If that woman does not understand, then she is missing something important, and probably needs a good newspaper to the nose.

Melia and Caya I can not beleive that this weekend is the big weekend!  I am sooooo excited for you guys.  In fact I was so excited for the wedding, melia, that I thought it was LAST weekend and almost put my foot in my mouth posting an irate message because of the lack of pictures!

Stinky about your bracelet Skye, but I bet chasing pink pearls across the floor gave you lots of chances to raise awareness (excuse me...please lift your foot, will you make a donation to Komen for the cure?).

PINK FILE FOLDERS?  wow they have gone too far.  In my house I have Pink M&Ms (strangely appropriate), BC tennis balls (perhaps they are intended to serve as a prosthetic in a pinch), sweaters, pins....and someone gave me a really awful coffee mug ARGH!  Every time we go anywhere, the kids point all this stuff out to me (Entemann's DONUTS for gosh sake) and want me to buy it.  I am all for raising awareness and funds, but this is getting a little bit out of hand.  I think I am ready for Boobtober to be over! 

Boy, I thought I was the only one....  someone here said they can't bring themselves to do self exam anymore and I am sooooo like that.  I think I'm just petrified to find anything.  I tell anyone and everyone to self exam, self exam away.  But I don't do it myself anymore, much at all.  Weird that we have such similar feelings.

Just a quick hello as I am off today to pick up the beautiful dresses I bought last week, as they both needed alterations. My best friend Toby is again coming along for the ride, I may shlep her downtown to Bloor Street ( the Fifth Ave. of Toronto) to go watch hunting.

Tina - keep being the great supportive wife you are with your DH.  It is so awful that you are going through this. And I would do the complete hysterectomy - I had my uterus taken out in May 2004, had a bladder lift at the same time.  I wish I had taken out my ovaries then - my mother begged me to - I was 45, and what the hell did I need them for?  But my gyn. and I discussed it - no family history of either BC or ovarian C,- and she thought I had a good 5 years before I would start menopause, and in that case the estrogen is good for you. Yeah so 2 1/2 years later I present with ER+PR+ ( and her 2+) BC.  I get my BRCA test results back in a couple of weeks, and then will revisit the issue of taking them out.

Melia - well, your family will be arriving over the next 48 hours, enjoy it all honey.  Mazel Tov!!

Ok....feeling a little sad.....

Lisa Moore (character from Funky Winkerbean) passed peacefully this morning.  I (and anyone who followed the strip) knew it was coming, but I am still sad. 

I can not believe that I am so freaked out by the passing of an imaginary person.  maybe it is because she did not die of an imaginary thing.

RIP Lisa Moore....your cartoonist killed you so that the rest of us may live!  And of course she HAD to die during Boobtober.  I think the book will be released this month, too.

off to work.... 

Yesterday I met the guy who started this business:

http://www.buttonsofhope.com/ 

You know how during most charity races people have signs that say I'm walking in honor of....

Well, this guys business makes custom pins (you can order just one) so that people can put a face to the name during these events.

I thought it was a neat idea. He made a bunch of pins for the Komen walk this weekend that my support group will wear. 

OMG Caya, Amanda looks just like you!  You guys look awesome!

Caya, dare I say, pretty in pink? All of you! And I do like the hair, very much like mine although I've started moussing the guinea pig swirls to add some texture. You will be adorable for your party.

Rebecca I don't get Funky in my newspaper, will have to look it up on the Web. At least we know they won't kill off Lynette in Desperate Housewives.

Tina they do indeed suck! OBVIOUSLY something underhanded is going on behind the scenes here. Maybe this will help DH to just look forward and let the slimy varmints do themselves in. Sooner or later they always do. They may even be up to something illegal he is better off getting clear of. And good you recalled that essential info for your OBgyn.

I got my x-rays and bone scan done today, MRI on Monday and I won't know anything at all til after that. I made sure to remind them of my pain and distress on getting stuck last time so the first one who tried gave up right away and the second one eased it right in. I actually fell asleep for the bone scan. It was very refreshing.

We are expecting sun and temps in the 80s, DH has promised to take me somewhere this weekend, I may even ask for a camping trip to the dunes by Sheboygan. I haven't camped in years but love that park.

Cindy pink kitchen stuff is WAY too much. And Amera, you hold your own. The Pinking of America will go on whether we fully participate or not. - Skye

eloo ladies looks like we are awwwwash in pink pokadots !

Tina ahh corporate life you sound like me gol darn politics at work .... you guys may be better off without all the crap , do hope that your dh does get more work .

caya great pics yes your dd look just like you , one thing i have done over the past year is really get to know mine . They are the dearest thing in the world to me . I also have gotten much closer to my sisters in Calgary . My bb sis did the walk there for our sis Nora who passed 13yrs ago from bc and me . She sent me a teddy with a cibc bandanna & 2 dog tags . One with our sisters and the other with my names on them they are hanging on my calendar at work .

When did u get your BCRA tests ? I still have to go for genetic counseling in Nov . and it is very important to me as its hit our family twice .

Oh and the weather here US gals is great and the weekend promises to be good to. So Caya have  good weekend and Melia u 2 .

Its our thankgiving so my son is coming up for a turkey feast . We may even get the boat in the water for one last blast  .

I am going completely topless now , at work a girl complimented my haircut ...... that felt good  .

yeh tomorrow they are supposed to have a cake at lunch for my return ..... heres hoping its not pink ..... right after that I have to go for a mammogram ..... yikes !

Emotionally yep we are all there ...... and some of us with menopause to boot ..........

Thanks for the compliments everyone.  No Debbie we did not do an actual "team", but I think for next year I will organize one - Caryn's Crew for the Cure. I just didn't know in advance if I would feel up to doing it, so I did not want to commit.

Sharon - I had my genetics testing at Mount Sinai Hospital.  But I think they will also do it at Sunnybrook where you had your rads. Is this where you are having your genetic counselling?  Glad your first week back has been good.

Tina - good thing you remembered about your bladder, and that your gyn. is getting the report.  Hope DH is taking all this in stride, although I know it must very stressful.  That company sounds like they don't know their heads from their asses.

Skye, glad most of your tests are done.  Have a nice weekend wherever you go and try to relax.

I picked up my dresses today - both are lovely.  Now the big decision will be what to wear.

Melia - I know you are busy, have a great day on Saturday.

Hi gals, sorry I missed chat last night. I finally got going on the Powerpoint presentation I need to put together for upcoming book talks, and had never done one before (I always used transparencies) so needed to keep at it. I finally did get the simplest possible slide show mastered and got a good start. I have my first talk on the new book next Tuesday night in Kenosha, and Monday will be spent at the oncologist's between the MRI, doc visit, and Herceptin infusion. I'm going on the theory that it's going to turn out to be inflammation and I can still fulfill my schedule. And if it's one of the other two possibilities then that's a whole world shift and the appearances won't matter. BTW, the new book, Strange Wisconsin: More Badger State Weirdness, has pre-sold half its initial print run a month before official release date which my publisher says has never happened to them before. It's on amazon if you want to see. It's the book I wrote on chemo!



For the weekend, we received an invitation to visit overnight with some old friends who just bought a new and deluxe condo in the cute resort town of Elkhart Lake, about 2 and 1/2 hours drive north. Even better than camping because we have a bathroom to ourselves. I'm such a wimp. We plan to walk the lake's shorepath and such so we will still get outdoors.



Tina, still praying for you and dh. Have a fabulous weekend everyone! - Skye

Skye, trip to deluxe condo sounds fab.  Enjoy.

Sharon, that was nice they did a cake for you to mark your return to work.  Thx. for kind words re: our sitch.... which still isn't resolved.  I feel like we are counteroffering on a house...the negotiations go back/forth/back/forth.  Very draining.  Meanwhile, the other opp. he had in Boston at the major drug company/stores that go by three letters..CV_.  The recruiter called and said "oh, I've just heard these rumors.  Call me asap.  We must clear this up before I can send you there..".  Unreal....