Another loop in the roller coaster!

So my roller coaster ride had been traveling along on the calm, gentle side, and starting last week it stated picking up momentum heading for a big loop as I waited for my scan results.  Today, I had an appt with my onc, I entered the loop and then someone threw the switch and now I'm left hanging at the top!  Ever been there?    So here is the story.  Last Friday I had my CT scan and of course since I work at the hospital where the tests were performed I looked at my results, not being sure what to make of them, I of course had a mild nervous breakdown and  "emotionally vomitted" all over poor Katie!  ( Thanks Katie!)  So, the main focus is on my liver mets.  In June the 27 spots were down to 3, last Friday's scan shows the 3 from last time plus 4 others.  The "old" 3 were described as stable and subtle.  Here is the kicker, both the radiologist and my oncologist aren't sure if the "new" spots are really new and represent progression or if they are old ones that weren't picked up on the last scan.  Excuse me not picked up - what the heck!  So, as my oncologist explains, the spots are very small - all under 7mm - he says that for tiny spots the timing has to be just right for the contrast to flow threw the tumor and cause it to "blush".  The radiologist said that the 4 "new" spots appear to be in the same locations as my initial scans in October and recommended a PET/CT.  My onc said that would be a waste of time, since the spots are too small to show up accurately on the PET scan.   The good news is that my CA 27.29 remained stable at 18, where it has been for the past 7 months.   My onc said, that the only way to know if this is progression is to sit back and wait a few more months and do another scan.  If things look the same, then we will assume that these "new" spots have really been there all along and are just tiny and stable.  If the appear any bigger or if more are evident then he will consider it progression and we will begin to explore our options for a new treatment plan.  

I'm glad I looked at my report, it gave me time to form my  questions and remain composed when I talked to my onc.  He is so serious, and was very concerned about these potentially new spots - if you could have heard his voice and saw his face - he looked so dismail but that's just him.   When he saw I was getting a litte worried, he pulled up both of my scans on the computer and we looked at them side by side - he wanted me to see how little these spots were and that was why it was so hard to see them, and to try to put me at ease.  

So, I didn't cry, which is very unusuall for me - every have one of those friends that can cry at just about anything - well that is me!   I had my herceptin treament right afterwards and my hubby and I watched Wild Hogs in the cancer center.  Nothing like a funny movie to lift your spirits.  We went out for lunch then and talked about how we both felt, and gosh it's hard to know how I feel - I'm basically feeling like I'm just in limbo - hanging at the top of the roller coaster!  I gave that analogy to my husband and he said he was pretty sure I still had enough momentum  to get through  the loop and safely end the ride - isn't he sweet!

Of course there was some other questionalbe stuff on my spine, which happens every time I have a CT or a PET for that matter.  My onc only likes MRI's for my spine mets - so I'll be doing that in another 2 months along with the new CT. - nerve racking isn't it!

So the positives - I feel good, my hair is 1 1/4 inches long, and I'm doing everything I want to do - except for fitting into my size 8 clothes!!!!  So ladies that's the update for now, staying calm, saying lots of prayers!  I'd love to hear if anyone else has ever had a similar experience!

Take care everyone - Wendy