June 2007 Chemo
Comments
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Bonnie, your port is in your arm? Did you have lymph nodes removed? I hope nothing is wrong with your port and if that is the case, please check with your oncologist about lymphedema. I am crossing my fingers for you, good luck tomorrow!!
I am so freaking tired lately, moreso than I've been the last 8 months....ugh. What is up with that??
Gracie, I don't think it's unusual to question about our future after being diagnosed. I haven't worked since the kids were small, almost 21 years ago. Last fall I applied to several dept stores but never received a call for interviews. Not sure what I'm going to do but whatever it is, I'm focusing on things I am interested in so volunteering with animals, environmental issues, and of course, breast cancer fund raising and awareness. I've thought of becoming a Meals on Wheels driver as my community has a huge elderly population. I want to give back in some way and I'm fortunate in that I'm able to do so.
My area has a dragon boat team made up of breast cancer survivors, I would love to join them when I regain my strength.
Now to have the energy to get up and DO IT!
I wish everyone a great week ahead.
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Terry, no my port is right by my collarbone on my "good side"; but I was told after it was put in that if I ever had any swelling or anything to give them a call. So that's what I did>
Hopefully it's nothing major! I'm also extremely tired as of late..... I think the taxol is catching up to us.
I'm also questioning "what am I gonna do now?" once I'm done with treatment.
Bonnie
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Hi all,
My weekend has been a rough one, this round with taxol really wiped me out. And I had a calf that I bottle fed from the day it was born, which was right when I got diagnosed. So she was about 5 months old. So she was kinda like my thing to keep my mind off the real world. She died last night, they think of bloat. I never thought I would get so attached to a stupid cow, but it has really torn me up. We kept her in our backyard until she got bigger than they moved her west of town. But she was very tame, liked to be scratched under her chin.
That and I think my hormones are making me emotional.
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Yea, happy dance here......last Taxol today
Bonnie, I hope you find out it's nothing but overuse of your arm. Keep us informed. When I went in today, I was running a fever of 100.1 I was SO scared they were going to put me off, but they didn't, just put me on Levaquin for five days...so I'm done...well...almost.
My blood calcium levels have been high, now I was taking Tums for my stomach so it might be that i just had too much calcium, but it can also indicate bone mets, so my onc is doing a bone scan before I get my port out to make sure. My tumor markers are also up, he says that happens alot on Taxol and it could be nothing, but he's also doing a pet scan to make sure, so if you all pray, please say a little one for me
I'll let you all know as soon as I know anything.
Going to go eat supper, and relax....for the first time in four months it feels like really relaxing
Blessings to all of you,
Gracie -
Bonnie , Garnetann and Gracie I'm sorry things aren't going well right now. I will be praying for you all.((((((hugs)))))) Melody
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Bonnie, I'll be thinking about you tomorrow; hope your arm is better when you wake up tomorrow! Garnetann, I feel so sad about the calf. It doesn't matter whether it was a cow or a dog or cat; you still get attached. Maybe it was here just to help you through this summer, and sounds like he did a good job of it too. Gracie, you are in my thoughts and prayers that your tests will all turn out well.
TerryNY, today was two weeks from my last infusion; I was happy all day not to be at the oncologists today. Tonight when I went to the grocery store, I really felt like I had a lift to my footsteps and more energy. So keep up your spirits, the fatigue does wear off when that nasty stuff finally works its way all the way out of your system.
Take care, everyone.
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Hey Girls:
Question for some of you who are farther along re: BC experience than I am. When are you considered 'cancer-free' or 'in remission', and what is the difference? In other words, if I'm done my chemo and surgeries - and I don't need radiation - who, if anyone, tells me I'm clear? Thanks.
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I'm sorry for everyone's troubles. Gracie, you are in my prayers. Be sure and keep us posted. Bonnie, I hope your arm is better and you can get your last taxol. Garnetann, that is so sad about the calf. Terry, I'm sorry you are so tired. I haven't notice an increase in fatigue but I've only had one taxol tx so far.
I'm feeling pretty good physically but emotionally is another story. My good friend Barbara's husband has been fighting lymphoma for years and the end is very near. I feel so sad because all these years that he's been going through chemo, I never knew how hard it was on him till I had to go through chemo too. I don't know what to do for them.
Cyndi
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Garnetann, I'm so sorry to hear about the calf, my cousin runs a dairy farm and the babies are just so adorable. I understand about getting attached, it's very easy to do. {{{GarnetAnn}}} I'm sorry.
Gracie, congrats on finishing chemo! Any celebration plans? I'll be thinking positive thoughts on the bone scans, update ASAP, please.
DebbieK, I can't wait to have that spring in my step! Although I did feel ambitious enough yesterday to work in the flower beds. I've missed doing that all summer, it felt heavenly. Thanks for the encouraging words.
Lisa, I'm not sure when they declare you NED, no evidence of disease. I've read that the first two years after dx is when most recurrences happen and that five years is a much better indicator. But don't quote me on that!
I would think the person making that call would be your oncologist so maybe ask him?
I'm getting geared up for my last tx tomorrow, getting nervous yet thrilled I'll be done. The ol' roller coaster ride again.
{{{Cyndi}}} It is difficult to know what to do in these circumstances especially since you're probably not feeling 100% yourself. I think being there for your friend and letting her talk would be important to her. And hugs, lots and lots of hugs.
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Terry, Congrats on your last treatment. Hope all goes well. I'm due for Taxol #2 tomorrow. I'll be thinking about you. I have two more chemos to go before I'm done, probably in November. Then, surgery. It's a long haul. I found that I'm a little more tired than I was on AC and had some serious leg pain after the first Taxol infusion. This time I have the pain rx on hand.
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Well, I just got back from my US; and the Dr said that there is a small blood clot in the vein in my neck from where the port goes in my vein. So, now I'm just waiting for a call from the surgeon to let me know what's next: Blood thinners? Pull the port? What about my last chemo? GRRRRRR........ I'm getting tired of being sick and tired! Trying not to let it get me down..... but it's hard.
I'll let you all know what's next.
Bonnie
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Terry - I'm not sure what shots w/weekly infusions - I'm sure I'll find out if my counts drop much more!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I've worked through all of the surgeries and treatments for both dx and now I want to stay home and catch up and do what I want to do!! Oh well. Maybe I can retire next year!! Good luck with your last tx - I know you'll be doing the happy dance!
Bonnie - that sucks!! Maybe they could do your last tx in your arm and you can ditch the port! Let us know what they say.
Garnetann - gets old being tired! Sorry about your calf; she was a blessing to you, not a stupid cow. Think of her and smile.
Gracie - Saying a prayer and sending hugs. Congrats on your last taxol! Happy dance time!
DebbieK - you go girl! Thanks for sharing along the way. I can't wait to be done with all of it but each parts end is still a relief.
Lisa - I agree - talk to your oncologist and let us know what he says.
Cyndi - Doesn't matter what the situation is - no one can know what it's like till you go through it too and there are still differences. Just be there now and especially later when so many people move on.
Shrink - good luck w/#2 tomorrow! Hope this one is easier.
Hoping everyone is finding smiles everyday!!
Dawn
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Well my surgeons office called, they are letting the cancer center handle the blood clot issue. I have to go on an injectable and oral blood thinner until further notice! Just got back from the lab to have my levels checked, that will now be a weekly thing. The woman that dreww my blood is a 3 yr BC survivor..... so it was nice talking to her, she gave me a big hug when I left and told me everything will be alright.
I asked about going in for my last treatment and they said it's all still a go........glad for that!
Just when ya think you'll be getting back to 1/2 way normal!
Bonnie
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Bonnie, I'm glad all systems are still go for your last treatment. Sorry you're dealing with the extra stress. {{{Bonnie}}} What kind of blood thinner...coumadin?
Shrink, thanks for checking in, I've been thinking of you! Hope the rx gives you relief from the pain. Good luck.
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Dawn, I am sorry, I know Bessie was not a stupid cow, just broke my heart to lose her. My son, who was taking care of her said it showed how much compassion I have for animals. He felt really bad since he knew how much I got attached to her. But, these things happen, and I have lots of pictures to remember her with. And my son said next spring, he will bring over another bottle calf for me. I am not sure if I can get the city to approve another calf in the backyard though. I got Bessie under the wire with a note from my dr. for pet therapy.
I think the menopause/hormone thing has just kicked me in the butt the last couple days, I normally am much more centered than this. I think we all deal with more stress than we should, but it is hard not to when we normally can deal with a lot.
Bonnie, glad you are still on track for your last tx and hope the blood clot is nothing serious. And Terry, you too, last one around the corner. I have 2 more taxols and I am done with this phase. Can't wait.
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Bonnie, I'm so sorry this had to come up just when the chemo/port thing was almost done. At least you will be getting your last chemo this week. Terry too! Debbie K., you're making 2 weeks after sound heavenly. Garnetann, it's very sad about your calf. This is the first house we've had that is not next to a cow field and we miss them. All my children got to feed apples and pears to cows when they were toddlers. Cows are so peaceful and pretty. I am sorry your special one died.
I had my second to last treatment today. One more to go, as long as everything is OK. I met 2 women with reoccurences at the center today and that is so depressing. I try to stay hopeful as possible but sometimes I get scared. My scans before I started chemo showed a speck of something on my lung so I will get it rescanned at 6 months. I told the onc December because I want to get it done, but what if it is bad news? Should I wait until after Christmas to get the scan? A wonderful girl from Japan who was our exchange student is coming to visit and we will also visit with lots of other family and people come from all over the country. A bad report would ruin it, but a clean one would be so great.
I was feeling pretty confident that it was nothing because my surgeon said it would not have had time to appear there yet, but the woman I met today with breast cancer in the lung really got to me. Her reoccurence was at 2.5 years. She was on her 20th weekly Taxol today and she was really upset, just frantic, even at 4 months into this 2nd treatment. She says she just stays in her room and tries to read. I spent a lot of time today trying to cheer her up and telling her about this board and the cancer center in Athens and some of the stuff they have there. Now that I'm home I realize she really brought me down. Her tumor IS shrinking with the Taxol and she did not get Taxol the first time out like so many of us are right now and she also did not do RADS, though I'm not sure why because she had 2 positive nodes. All she did was a mascectomy and 4 AC.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I sure hope none of us have reoccurence, but people survive those also. I need to deal with what's on my plate right now and not borrow indigestion from next week or next month or next year! They say if you can go 5 years NED that is very good. If you can make it 10 years your stats are the same as a person who has never had BC.
Hang in there girls. We're going to make it.
Debbie M. -
Hi All, well my niece, who is an RN, just left. She came over to give me my first injection of Lovenox...... right in the belly.....OUCH! Anyways, she is going to come again tomorrow night and supervise my husband giving me one. I will probably only need the injections a few days, thank God. I also start on the coumadin tomorrow, and will be on that for a while I guess. Thanks for all the good thoughts and words of encouragement from everyone. I just can't wait until we are all done with this crap!
Debbie M: that story of that woman NOT doing rads helps me with my decision to do rads!
Well ladies, I have had an exhausting day, so I'm off to bed a little early tonight. Hope everyone is feeling well!
Bonnie
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Hey All, just had to check in again. After posting earlier I went to the problem threads on the rad heading and really got depressed. But only a minute group get the rib problems so I should really watch my overly active imagination. Everyone that I've actually talked to has had few complaints
I then went to the success story thread and feel much, much better.
I cut my decadon in half today and should have done it months ago. I feel great even though I had treatment today. I even went to a band showcase in town with the onc's permission. I finaly got to see my oldest performing with her flags with the 400 member UGA Redcoat Marching Band. My little baby was out there all grown up and looking so proud. I just had to cry I was so happy for her. Life is good. God is great. And we are all here. I'm so happy to be here.
Bonnie, you are brave! Shots in the belly? Yeowch. We will be thinking about you. Will they take the port out or let you use it for the last one? Do they take the blood clot out or do all the shots/drugs make it dissolve? I know nothing about this, but I'm hoping hard that all goes well for you.
Starfish, I think we just keep getting mammagrams and pray for the best.
Debbbie M. -
DebbieM, I have to believe that you're doing everything possible the first time around to conquer this. The treatment decisions you've made differ greatly from the other woman's and I think it gives you a much more positive outlook. One more to go for you, that's wonderful!!
How cool about your daughter! I'm so very glad you were able to attend.
Bonnie, good luck with the blood thinners.
I'm off in about an hour for my last treatment. I bought a cake to share with the nurses that just says "DONE!" on it. LOL
I just wish I could skip this part and say it anyway......
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Debbie, I think they will try to use the port for my last treatment. From what my niece tells me the blood thinners are mainly for prevention of further clots, and don't really disolove the clot I have. the hope is that it just reabsorbs itself.......but these are all questions I will discuss further tomorrow when I go for my tx.
Terry, good luck today with your last one!! You did it girl! A cake sounds good!
Tomorrow when I "ring out" my chemo treatments, I will ring it for all of us!!
Bonnie
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Hi All,
It was great to catch up on everyone this morning.
Garnetann, I am really sorry to hear about your calf. They are such beautiful animals. I am sure she was quite a blessing to you during this treatment.
Dawn, how are your blood counts doing? I hope they've come back up. Mine went down to a critical point, so I did get two Neupogen shots and they shot back up. I thought I would continue to get the shots, but they don't give them to me until they bottom out again. I hope you get the shots if you need them.
Bonnie, it was good to hear the blood clot would not keep you from getting that last treatment. I hope you are feeling well and I'll be thinking of you tomorrow as you ring that bell!
Terry, Congratulations! Today should be the day. It's been a hard road for you with the slow wound healing, but now it's time to celebrate!
Gracie, I've been concerned about my blood tests as well. My liver enzymes have gone up and down since treatment and it scares me that there is something going on with that. But I have read that Taxol raises those levels as well, so all we can do is go with what the doctors tell us and wait and see what happens after our bodies have gotten a little rest from all this chemo. Congrats on being done and I'll be praying for you.
Cyndi, I'm sorry to hear about your friend's husband. I'm sure she is grateful to have you there as her support, especially someone who realizes what it is really like to go through chemo.
Debbie K., it's great to hear you are feeling so good again. That's what we all want to hear. Just thinking about being done with treatment gets me excited!
Debbie M., I get really down too when I hear or read about women with recurrence. There are a number of women I see on chemo day who are being treated for recurrence. Most of them are very positive and look like they are doing great. But when I start to read too much about what can happen, I get very depressed. It's hard to not think about, but I'm trying to convince myself that when chemo is over, I will not look too far ahead and just concentrate on the present. Easy to say, hard to do. I'm glad you were able to see your daughter perform. I know the feeling. There is nothing like seeing your child looking proud, confident and happy!
I have three more treatments. I should have been done on Sept. 15, but got extended with the weekly Taxol (changed from dd 4 tx). The extra month was hard to take at first, but because the tx is every week, the countdown goes quickly. For those of you who are finished or are finishing I hope you continue to let us know how you are doing. It keeps me moving forward and gets me excited as the end is in sight.
Best wishes to all,
xoxo
Kathleen
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Bonnie - in the stomach!?!? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww but you can handle it - I can hear the music for your happy dance waiting for you to finish that last treatment!!
Garnetann - no need to apologize - just adding my two cents and seeing that baby as a blessing in your life. No thing that we care about is ever stupid - even when it makes us crazy!!
Even if you weren't emotional from BC - this event still would have upset you because you care....................
Kathleen - I have my blood work tomorrow for Friday tx so I'll get back to you on that! I believe w/red counts they give you a shot when your hematocrit hits 10 - mine was 11.3 / my white count was 4.4, just a little below but they said they look at the ANC and when it hits 2 then they give a shot - mine was 3.3. Such a game every week wondering and worrying about this stuff!!
DebbieM - I am dealing with a local recurrence right now. It was very hard to hear that I had cancer again but my .2cm IDC w/no node involvement didn't warrant chemo last year so when I found the new lump in my reconstructed breast just as I was finishing up with reconstruction that turned out to be 3.5cm IDC - now my oncologist is hitting me with all the chemo and rads and I'll be doing herceptin till next summer. Hopefully, this will do the trick since my PET scan was clear, BUT, I know from reading that many women live and thrive with whatever stage they have and even continuing with some kind of chemo forever and I have to hope and pray that I continue on. I certainly have moments of despair (my poor husband usually gets to hear them!!
) but I am a glass half full person and go on. Don't get me wrong, I'm scared of what the future holds but I'm determined to fight till the end, whenever that is. I look at my 85 year old grandmother and wonder if I'll make it to that age and then I think I better take better care of myself since she has arthritis pretty bad.....totally forgetting about cancer for the length of my thought. Anyway, it is scary but please don't let it consume you.
Hugs to all,
Dawn
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Dawn, did you get herceptin after your first dx? I seem to recall that you did...Are you and I the only HER2+ in this group? I admit to feeling envious of those of you who are finishing chemo now. Even when I'm done with chemo (hopefully in mid-Nov.) I will still have to go to the cancer institute every week for a year. I'm having a rough day today because they are having scheduling issues and had me coming in sometimes on a Wed., sometimes on a Thurs., some weeks both! I am taking a class on Wednesdays and I am in a bowling league on Thursdays and I will give up one of them but I didn't want to give them both up. So I cried all the way home today. I'm tired of my life being dictated by cancer tx and with a YEAR to go I'm feeling sorry for myself. Sorry to be such a downer--I'm usually a half glass full kind of person too.
Cyndi
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Cyndi, I had a mastectomy and was put on tamoxifen with my first dx which was er+/pr+/her2+, the second was er-/pr-/her2+. Stopped the tamoxifen right before starting chemo. I'm guessing she'll put me on an AI (hoping to be post menopausal after chemo!) to help with the first dx and there isn't anything for the second dx - hormonally anyway. You should call the scheduler at the center and talk to them about your appts. I asked for Thursday afternoon bloodwork and Friday morning taxol/herceptin treatments and with A/C I was able to get Wednesday afternoon for blood and Thursday afternoons for treatments. I can't imagine that you couldn't work out something so you don't have to give up your class or bowling! It does get old with life being dictated by our treatments and all the crap that goes with them. Someone was whining about dealing with their diagnosis, surgery etc for the past couple months (on another site) and I rolled my eyes thinking - well, try it since December 05! (OMG - almost 2 years) and then of course I smacked myself because I thought about the women that have been dealing with this for YEARS and will for the rest of their lives!!! THAT scares the crap outta me! Thank God the detection and treatments have come this far and only looks like it will improve!
This Friday will be #6 of 12 and as long as I stay on track will be done 11/9 and then about a month later will start 6 1/2 weeks of radiation................................are you having rads too?
It's so easy to be overwhelmed with all this and you shouldn't apologize for being a downer - we are all here to share and support each other and sometimes we just need a kick in the attitude!!
Let us know what you work out on your schedule and what your onc says about the herceptin.
Dawn
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I AM DONE! :-) The nurses loved the cake and I had bought some little gift certificates to different stores for each of them to choose from. I think they were really pleased.
I took some pictures of my last treatment.....if I can figure out how to post them, I will.
I'm already overloaded with follow-up appts starting with the MUGA tomorrow and CAT and bone scans next week. They drew blood today to test for tumor markers....does it ever end???
Cyndi, I agree with Dawn, ask to work around your fun activities. That seems so unkind to have to drop the fun stuff while dealing with this. Surely they can schedule around one or the other for you. Let us know how it turns out.
Dawn, you're so right in this is the place to vent and share the ups as well as the downs. This site has been a lifesaver for me over the past few months. So educational and supportive, it's nice to ask a question and get so many responses and tips.
I think of my sister who had cancer 14 years ago and didn't have this outlet, how things change in such a short time.
I appreciate all of you!
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Thanks, Dawn. I started herceptin 2 weeks ago. So you did not receive herceptin the first time? I thought everyone that was her2+ got it. I will have rads after chemo. We'll be doing that about the same time...
My schedule issue is so frustrating. I did meet with the scheduler today and the problem is that my onc sees current patients on Wednedays, consultations on Tuesdays, new patients on Thursdays. So they schedule me on Wednesdays every 3 weeks. I'm seeing a different onc next week because she had an opening on Thurs. She's a breast cancer specialist so I'm ok with that.
On a happier note, last night I went to a cocktail party celebrating the arrival here of a digital mammography van (the Hope Coach). My friend is in charge of the health plan for a big gaming corporation here and they paid for most of it. So it will be at their hotels about 1/2 the time so women can get mammograms at work. No referral is required for women over 40 and there's no charge either. The party was incredible with 2 kinds of pink martinis that people could vote on their favorite and that will become the "official" mammogram martini. I think they are going to serve them at the van to encourage women to get a mammogram. They also gave everyone that attended a Brighton breast cancer charm bracelet. In our state (NV) we have a really low rate of women who should get a mammogram actually getting one. And they are really trying to change that.
Anyway, it was a really nice party and I wish you all could have been there with me!
Cyndi
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Terry, we must have been typing at the same time! Congratulations on finishing!!! And that was so thoughtful of you to take a cake and gift certificates. The nurses do become a part of your life, don't they?
You are so right about this site. It is the first thing I think of doing when I have a question or want to vent. What makes it so great for me is having others at roughly the same stage of tx. My support group has women at all stages and that is great too but they have told me that they forget quickly what chemo was like. I hope that's the case for all of us. Actually, AC is fading from my memory already...
Cyndi
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How nice to be done, Terry. My Taxol infusion today was a little strange. After the Benedryl drip, I became very aggitated. My feet, hands, lips and neck were all tingling. I had to stand up for part of the treatment or I thought I wouldn't be able to finish. This was a half hour into the 4 hour drip. Anyway, a nurse came over and added 1 mg of Ativan to the mix. In about 15 minutes, I was asleep. The good news is that the tumor continues to shrink. Since I never get much enouragement from the docs., I asked him on the way out the door, "Are you encouraged?" He said "very much". That made my day! So, I'm 3/4 done with chemo. I might have to have more depending on the results of the MRM surgery. One step at a time. I just popped an Ativan and hope it will get me to sleep before that tingling starts again.
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Hi all,
Garnetann - I'm sorry to hear about your calf. I can see how you got attached to that calf - bottle feeding it and all. I'm sorry to hear that.
Debbie M.- I can completely relate with you about getting down and thinking about recurrence. I do that all the time and try to not do that, but it is so hard NOT to think about it. At least for me it is difficult. I wish it wasn't that way. I knew about the 5 year NED but not about the 10 year mark - so I was glad to learn that new bit of information from you today. I do the same things sometimes - go to other boards and get depressed. I don't know why I do that sometimes because I know that some of them will just depress me.
Bonnie - I'm sorry to hear about your injections in your stomach. You poor thing! Hopefully they are not too painful. Do you actually but some of that numbing cream on prior to the shot? I wonder if that would help? If I was you, I would give it a tryCongratulations on your last treatment too! How nice is that to be done.
Terry - Congratulations on your last treatment!! How nice of you to get a cake and cards for all the nurses. That was really nice of you!Dawn - I have a silly question. How do they know it is a recurrence and not a new cancer? I'm asking because on your signature you have that this recurrence is er-/pr- when it wasn't last time. I'm sorry - I'm still learning about all this and am curious if you know how they know it is a recurrence. I ask because my onc. said something at one time that she was recommending the treatment for my current cancer - but doesn't always mean I won't get a new breast cancer...great!!! At least that is what I recall.
Cyndi - I am also Her2+ and will be on chemo until December~ish. I get treatment 10 of 12 weekly treatments of Taxol/Herceptin. Then weekly Herceptin for 9 months after the Taxol. I'm sorry to hear about your schedule issues - hopefully you won't have to give up both and they will be able to work something out that will allow you to keep one or both of these activities. Also, it is neat to hear about the mammography van and all they are doing for breast cancer prevention, detection or awareness. That is awesome.
Shrink - That is strange to hear about your Taxol infusion. I wonder what caused it since it didn't happen last time. It definitely is good news to hear that your tumor continues to shrink - that is wonderful.
As for me, I go in for my 10th treatment of 12 Taxol/Herceptin tomorrow. Another long day at the cancer center. Uuuuggghhhh! But it is what it is and I try to look at the bright side of all this and I tel myself it could be worse.
Denise
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Thanks, Denise. The onc nurse explained that it's not an uncommon reaction to the Benedryl given in the IV before hand although I didn't have it before. I feel good today so far. Hope your 10th treatment goes well.
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- 9 The Political Corner
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- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
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- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
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- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
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