Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Hey guys....sorry for being so focused on myself and not responding to posts so much...  just very "all consuming" around here.  John arrived from NC and he's been a god send.  We have a lot of laughs despite the entire situation...he's telling us we're done w/Starbucks, never mind bottled water even....we're onto tap water...and a half a glass a day at that!  We are conserving our money!  I said I'm gonna run out at 2 am when the irrigation system goes off for a free shower. LOL!  Really, though, very much time to tighten the belts around here.

Poor Paul, he's still almost thinking there's even an infintesimal chance of him going back to work, which is ludicrous. They have so defamed him at this point...

Hello again. Sorry I haven't posted much this past week, but I've been trying to keep up with reading all the posts at least.

Tina, sorry to hear about your hubby's job troubles. That visiting friend sounds like a godsend. If you can see the humor in a situation like that you'll make through to the better times. I hope they come along sooner rather then later.

Skye, my hubby is bothered by barking dogs in the neighborhood, too. If the dogs wake him up, he can't get back to sleep. At least they don't go at it every night.

I see my med onc next Monday for a finished with Chemo and Radiation visit. I'll be starting one of the AIs after that, but I guess I'll find out exactly when during our visit.

I've been very busy this past week doing something nearly everyday. Tuesday I got my first massage in almost 2 months. My therapist was able to work around me not being able to lay flat on my tummy. The boost area is getting lots better, but it isn't ready for me to lay flat on my tummy, yet.

On Wednesday, my Aqua Angel ladies from the fitness club surprised me with a congratulations card for finishing my radiation treatment. The hostess for this month's lunch also gave me a Gift Certificate to the new restaurant at Mandola's Estate Winery near here in Driftwood, TX. They are open for lunch on the weekends so the hubby and I took the drive out there today. The food was fantastic and the drive through the rolling hills wasn't bad at all. We measured it on the way home and it was only 10 miles from our house. It sure seemed longer on those country roads.

On Thursday, I met with a friend from my on-line Sue Grafton fan group. Even though I'd never met her in person, we've known each other for nearly 5 years. Our group is a lot like the one on this thread. We call each other Cyber Sisters and one Cyber Brother. They have been a big part of my support system since I went for my biopsy last December. Anyway, she walks in the the Steak 'N Shake where we were meeting with this huge box. One member of the group put together a poster of my face surrounded by little pictures of all of them. There was also a verse which read, "Angels transcend every religion, every philosophy, every creed. In fact angels have no religion as we know it, their existence precedes every religious system that has ever existed on earth." surrounding the whole thing. I sure didn't expect anything like that. the little gift card was a Persian Cat in curlers. When I opened it up it read that it won't be long before I'll be in curlers. Definitely too cute.

I had decided to wear an "outfit" for the meeting. About 4 years ago when we visited Hawaii, I bought some fabric. When my nephew got married in July 2004, I made a sundress, shirt, and large scarf from this fabric. I was never quite sure how I wanted to wear the scarf, but it came to me a month or so ago when someone here posted a link to a scarf tying video that I had a perfect scarf. One of the pictures of me was to good to pass up and I had to change my avatar. The feather boas are sort of a running joke in our Sue Grafton group.

I'll try to post more next week if I don't nod off too early every night.

Nancy, I agree with the others….if you need to take the effexor you should.  There is nothing to be ashamed of in taking an antidepressant especially if it increases your quality of life.  I wish that the Dr could have put it to you nicely, instead of make you feel like you had to slink out of there in shame, but the end result should be positive.  Let us know if it is helping!  Hot flashes are such a drag….mine are nothing compared to yours but they are annoying nevertheless.  Yesterday I walked around with my skin prickling feeling like I was going to flash, but it was cool enough that I stayed forever on the edge of one.  Very upsetting and uncomfortable.

Skye congrats on spraying your furniture.  Finishing a job like that is always so satisfying.  Regarding barking dogs:  most towns have a noise ordinance that include nighttime barking like that.  You can call the cops, AND the SCPA on them.  It is not appropriate to leave a dog outside all night for a variety of reasons that go past the noise problem.  If they are leaving the dog outside like that perhaps it is too nasty to live with.  Serves them right in my book.

Tina you crack me up…free shower from the irrigation system indeed!  It is good to hear that you are keeping up your sense of humor, and I am glad that Paul has a friend to lean on.   Why on earth would Paul want to go back there, anyway?  He will find another job I am sure of it.

Debbie I LOVE your new avatar….so lovely and colorful!  That is so lovely about your other cybersiblings.  What a beautiful gift.

OMG Cindy..I totally agree.  Not only should we get a pass on the flu, but I think we should not have to do our taxes or clean the bathroom.  Please feel better soon.  If anything will make you feel better, laughing at the funny puppy will!

Normal Sunday activities for me today….there is a gymnastics meet at our home gym today, and although we are not competing, we are going to go and help out and show support for the girls.  DH is working today…which stinks because he normally does not work on Sundays, but we have to pay for that whole car debacle somehow.  An update on that….the car my MIL “gave” us is STILL belching smoke after Matt repaired the botched repair job, so we do not know what is wrong with it.  We have decided to sell it with the hope of recouping some of the money that was put into it against our will, and perhaps make a bit extra that we can use to fix our Volvo which needs a new exhaust (but which is otherwise sound). 

I am still SOOOOOO steamed about that whole situation, especially considering that my MIL is now walking around like a martyr saying that she was pushed into buying this new car (so not the case…..she whined and literally CRIED for 5 hours to my SIL and finally wore her down enough that she signed for the car).  And the kicker is that she just found out that her car insurance is going to be sky high because it is a NEW car, and she had two accidents last year….and it is unclear whether or not she is even going to be able to afford to keep it because the combined payment per month is like $700.  It makes me mad because most rational people, when faced with a reality like that would buy a used car, with a lower payment, and take a personal loan instead of a car loan to lower the insurance payments and keep the whole thing under control.  Unfortunately, she is not always the most rational.  She will never give it up voluntarily, so it will likely be repossessed at some point.  I am sure that it will fall to us to bail her out…..I hope that she likes our 1991 Volvo, because I sure as heck am not going to loan her MY car (which is the nice one….candy apple red Saturn Vue) which by the way WE BOUGHT USED because we were rational and realized that we could not afford  a NEW car at that time!  ECK.

Nancy it is a 1997 Honda Civic.  It had 209,000 miles on it, but looks good on the outside :-).  Any input or advice is certainly welcome!  I can send you more details by PM if you like.

i am soooo glad you are feeling better!  HUGS! 

Skye, are you sure you should be moving that furniture with a torn rotator cuff?  Just asking.

Tina, I prayed for your situation at church today-- they were praying for the unemployed.  Wow it hit close to home.

Amera, it feels give hope to those who are just going through this journey.

Rebecca, you made me remember why I don't miss those inlaws!!!

Tuesday I go to the onc for my CT results.  I feel positive but as the time grows near I know the nerves will kick in. 

Debbie, it's good to hear from you.  You are a riot!  Love to all

Mary, you are brighter than I am, I learned today when my arm ached horribly that I should not have moved that furniture. Breastbone hurt too. Even tho the frames by themselves are not very heavy, it still irritated the rotator cuff. In the olden days, I would have dragged it all out, painted it, dragged it back in and sewed new slipcovers for all the seat and back cushions by now. I did that twice over the 15 years I've had it since buying it from a friend's rummage sale.

Nancy, you sound positively chipper compared to your last two letters. SO glad you feel better!

Cindy, poor baby, much commiseration and sympathy. Darn right we should have a get-out-of-flu-free card, and lots of other ones too. Sounds like a bad gastro-entero virus, hope it passes (no pun intended) very soon. It's almost impossible not to wonder every time we get a symptom, though, isn't it?

Amera, that woman does sound like she had a LOT of treatment! I bet you cheered her up. Please stick with this irritating new system so we can hear from you. You do get used to it after a while.

Tina, I hope this week brings a wealth of new contacts and opportunities for your dh. It's great that his friend came; men really need other men to talk to sometimes.

Rebecca, your MIL sounds like quite a character to put it mildly. Keeping my fingers crossed that you can sell it for a good profit and come out smelling like roses.

I have SIL and BIL coming here from D.C. this week, although luckily they are staying at MIL and FIL's. You all have a strong and positive week - Skye P.S. I took two advil PMs last night and never heard the dog once. Maybe they finally hauled him inside.

Hi ladies

I'm surfacing after this weekend of synagogue services and eating - again!! We had a great "Break the Fast" meal at my mom's last night . We do a dairy dinner,my cousin Lori made her famous potato pesto pizza, I made a vegetable cheese casserole - oh there was lots of food, you can all get the picture. I'm still low carbing, and amazingly have not gained any weight over these holidays.  I really want to be super good because Oct. 6th is our big 25th wedding anniversary party.  It looks like we'll be having about 80 people here for dinner, and then I told my girls they could invite some of their friends for dessert, so that could be another 10 - 15 kids. Melia I think that is the same night as your daughter's wedding, so we will both be celebrating.

Mary, I am keeping my fingers crossed for good results this Tuesday from your CT scan.

Nancy, I am glad you are feeling better. My onc. also sort of gave it to me a bit about 6 weeks ago - said I have to focus on the very good prognosis I have, and not always look at the negative aspects of it all. I have been on the Tamoxifen since July 10,and I think my body is settling down and becoming more accustomed to it.  Still hotflashing, but not as frequent.  Muscle aches are not as bad, my emotions are more even, although I can still become anxious and stressed at a moment's notice. I am going to see how I am after our party, I may start the Effexor then if I feel I need to.

Tina, I am glad you hired a lawyer.  I think that was a wise decision.  It's really disgusting how they are treating your DH.  Hopefully something will turn up.  I'm sure he must have alot of contacts in the industry, maybe someone will want him for something related... And congrats on one year since your mastectomy - I think that means you are one year out - I never know do they count it from day of diagnosis, day of mast. or lumpy, or what?

Skye - Mary is right - you should not be shlepping anything!! OY!!

Cindy - hope you feel better soon.

Debbie, love your scarf and new avatar.

Hope everyone else is feeling okay. 

Hey girls...just a quick check in.  Scanned all the posts and don't see any emergencies, thank God.

We got some take out tonight from the Pei Wei (new chain restaurat owned by PF Changs) and are going thru files that help the DH's case.  We meet w/the lawyer at 9:30 am. 

Dh's friend here has been fab.  He played football w/Pauly and his friends out on the lawn for two hours.  Paul was in heaven.  His dad isn't into that stuff, so it was surreal for him.  He loved it.  What a friend this guy is, God...

OMG Tina, I am cracking up at Jaclyn's chalk message. Oh how I remember the notes and the I hate you's. I remember doing it to my parents. You know she doesn't "ming" it! But that is something to write in the memory book, one day you will both have a good laugh over it.  I think it's cute Oh I so miss that age. Now I'm a grandma to 2 schnauzers!?! I got doggie Ohio state t-shirts for them when I go to AZ. Coming up fast I fly out Friday morning 6 am!! Oh how I need this trip. I kept asking Jeff what he wanted me to fix him for his dinners, I froze some chili for him. (betcha he forgets about it)

But he says, "Nancy I can take care of myself". I said "No you can't"! We have never been apart, cept a few short business trips now and then. Me going somewhere without him feels weird. But I am soooo excited! I will miss him even though if he drives me crazy

I woke up one time last night for about 40 mins, so definitely getting more sleep and feeling better. I am retaining some fluid though?? my hands feel puffy and tight. I'll try to drink lots of water today & Flush it out. Maybe it was from eating out Saturday night, we don't do that often, I had baked fish though??? It was gross,.. Oh well.

Have a happy day!!

Melia - I've had trouble with being stiff too. Anytime I sit still for awhile it's really uncomfortable to get up. My hips seem to be the worst. Usually once I walk a bit it goes away. I have noticed that the more I work out the less it bothers me.

I should have said Mary, everything will go good tomorrow. 

Hugs to you Mary...

Joni

OK, so I had a very distressing experience today….

I have not had an OBGYN for quite some time….had my pap smears etc done at family practice.  Given that I am now taking Tamoxifen, which has the potential to cause (ahem) problems of a female nature I thought it would be prudent to establish myself in an OBGYN practice and have a Dr who could monitor me for such things (as well as tell me whether or not I am in menopause for real).  A friend of mine said she liked her Dr a lot, so I took her name and made an appointment. 

So I arrive at the office right on time (9:45), fill out my papers, and sit down to wait for my turn.  By now, I am soooo used to waiting in waiting rooms that I am well prepared….I had papers to grade and so on, so I am still a happy camper.  They put me in a room at about 10:20, and give me the glamorous paper gown to wear.  YIPEEE.  I strip, put on the gown and sit down on the table to wait.  And wait….and wait.  40 MINUTES LATER  the door opens after a perfunctory knock, and a woman comes in, sits down and asks me if I have any medical concerns that she can help me with.  I am stunned.  No introduction….no HELLO NADA.  I am kind of taken aback, and my prepared comment (next time in case you are wondering, I much prefer to wait in the waiting area with my clothes on, not the exam room with my clothes off if you are running 40 minutes behind) is lost in the back of my throat and I just tell her I need a pap smear, and express my concerns regarding the Tamo, and my desire to involve her in monitoring the condition of my uterine lining.

She examines me (gently and seemingly competently), gives me my pelvic (also gentle) and does the pap.  I ask her for the menopause bloodwork and she says fine I will give you a prescription….I ask her when to come back and she says 1 year, and walks out of the room.  She never addressed my concerns about the Tamo, and I had to chase her down and ask her explicitly what I needed to do.  At which point she pulled me grudgingly into an exam room and started telling me about why she is not responsible for scheduling my mammograms.  HUH?  I said “I am OVER the breast thing….i am concerned about my tamoxifen”  THEN she said…oh, the standard of followup care is to do an ultrasound and a endometrial biopsy every six months.  YIKES.  Then the office staff informs me that I can only call for my pap smear results if they are normal…..which makes no sense at all.

So I am left feeling very uneasy about this, and uncomfortable with the thought that I had to have a little bit of me cut off every six months….that seemed a bit over the top.  So when I got home I did a bit of googling (I know, I know BAD BAD BAD) and what I read seemed to indicate that a pelvic ultrasound was appropriate, but that a biopsy should only be performed if the lining is thickened as indicated on the ultrasound. 

So, I called my Oncologist.

The medical staff were absolutely horrified, and said that under no circumstances was I to allow this person to touch me.  I do not need a uterine biopsy every six months, and that this is NOT the standard of care.  They gave the names of some reputable drs, and that was the end of it.

I only post this to share my horror and frustration….in the end I think it will be fine, but I guess that is 40 minutes of my life that I will never get back. Oh, and did I mention that there was a tv monitor in the exam room, and I was forced to watch almost an entire episode of Montel.  ECK 

Please, my sisters, be very proactive in your own care.  If you are told something that does not feel right ASK SOMEONE ELSE!!!!!  I am sure glad I did!

UGH Rebecca, what an ordeal. Thank goodness you trusted your gut and called the onc. And to think that you had to chase this dr down to get bad advice. Sheesh!

This whole BC experience has really made me question the medical community. I mean, I am perfectly happy with the doctors I ultimately chose, but the different levels of knowledge and care among oncologists/staff etc is just astounding.

Thankfully my primary care doc is great about saying, "Well, that's not my area of specialty, you need to call your onc." I am so grateful for that. We shall see what happens when I see the gyn for the first time post bc.

Sorry Rebecca for your bad experience.  You'd think since they came recommended from a friend it would have been better.  My new gyn met me fully clothed first, then talked to me and took my history for 45 minutes and then did the exam, recommended the pelvic ultrasound which turned out fine.  No mention of any biopsy!!!  I'm glad you checked into it further and are posting this.

Joni, hope you get better real fast before your trip.  Skye, be careful that you don't get sick.  Caya, congrats to you for sticking to your diet!  What willpower. 

DH doesn't mention my dr's appt tomorrow.  I guess he forgot.  I'll go it alone, it's okay.  I got the diagnosis by myself so I should be able to handle this.  I'll let you know how it goes.  Hugs to all.

Hi everyone...just checking in to say good night and ask you all one question.... Why do we need kitty litter to change color in order to tell us that it is stinky?

Just seems kind of a strangely redundant feature to me

On that note....I bid you all good night.

Oh and Tina...I do NOT think you are Ming at all!