scard about surgury

Hi,  I have be diagnosed with stage 111B breast cancer.and I don't have to tell you that I am scared..I was diagnosed in May, went through about 1/2 dz. different test in less then a week, then started Chemo early in June, and the real kicker was I started chemo on my 51th birthday....I don't have a history of cancer in my family, so I was in denial when I had realized that my one breast was enlarged, I had been this way for at least 6-12 months...I am not a small person, so I just thought it was the way that I slept,  and that it was only the mussel that was getting bigger, WRONG..Only when I realized that the nipple had turned in, did I start to worry...

The dr.s & my daughter wanted to to go on a trial treatment, so I told them that I would. If someone can benefit later on from me doing this trial then I was fine with it. I was on this trial treatment for 2 1/2 months when the Dr. decided that it really wasn't working. I wasn't at the stage where they had hoped I would be, so we had to change chemo treatments.  This one seems to be working as the mass has gotten smaller, it is no longer hard as a rock...I am very scared  of Dr.s as this is probably why it took me so long to except the fact that something was wrong. My biggest fear is not knowing what is going to happen to me after the surgery. Has anyone had surgery and would like to chat with me about it.  How big of a scar will I expect? how long of a stay in the hospital is expected? How will I care for my stitches once I go home?  I read somewhere about having draining tubes? why do I need draining tubes?  any comments will be welcomed....thanks

Was told that it would most likely be a total beast removal, and since the cancer has spread to some of the lymph nodes, some of them will need to be taken out as well...about the lymph nodes , will physical therapy be needed if these are removed...I am still getting use to the fact that I have cancer. My younger grandchildren don't understand, they just know that grandma is sick. It is not always easy, especially right after Chemo, it it really knocks me down. It usually takes at least two days before I feel the effects, then I am literally in bed for the next 3-4 days, I bearly have enough  streagth to get out of bed to go to the bathroom...it is that bad. Has this happened to anyone, and how do you cope with it.

Nancy

Thanks  for your comments, I do have a list of what is on my mind every time I go to the Dr. Sometimes I wonder if he thinks that I am a pain, but at least he doesn't let on..at the cancer institute were I go, they are all very caring people, and I am made at ease as much as possible. 

As for pampering myself, sometimes that is easier said then done. My husband passed away a year and a half ago, so I really don't have anyone to lean on. My daughter and her three children live with me, and sometimes it is hard to have piece and quiet, I spend alot of time in my room so that I can accomplish that.  I try to meet with friends at least once a week, to get out of the house and talk for awhile.  I wonder if stress from all that goes on in my house has anything to do with the fact that the first chemo didn't work. I have since learned to let things go, and not let it bother me to much.. If you have any suggestions that would help me in this situation, I would really appreciate it. and thanks