Starting Chemo in JAN 2007
Comments
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Thanks gals for all your warm thoughts. Brother is going to the hospital to be with mother today and get her to eat. She'll probably come home on Monday. I bet the kitten does her more good than anything.
I've seen her like this before, and I think it might just be her way of making a point...she wants to be at home with family and not in the hospital. She may just wake up and break out of her funk if she gets what she wants...
xxxooo Myranda
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Mel, huge congrats on finishing rads! I remember I was not teary at all, just so relieved not to have to go there every day and wonder what those zaps were doing to me. As for the colonoscopy, I'm going to wait until this breastbone thing is resolved as it seems to be where all the trouble is. I'm sure it isn't an emergency thing so I will just wait til Monday when I'm scheduled. He hasn't exactly been reassuring anyway so I would probably just end up more upset if I went sooner and still have no real answers. And I think I'm done googling on it. I was hoping to find loopholes or other things it could be, with no luck.
Caya I forgot you were in synagogue choir. Maybe you could take your laptop to choir practice and tune into Chatzy between songs. :-) Good for you for sticking to the low-carbs, it must have been tough refusing the kugel!
Rebecca it must be hard being isolated on your holidays. At least you and Caya can celebrate together in spirit.
Myranda, hope you are right about your mom "waking up." That would be great.
It's beautiful weather here today, a perfect fall day. Looking forward to a pick-me-up walk. - Skye -
Mary I didn't see your post for some reason before but I'm so happy for you that the blood work turned out to be post-men. I still don't know for sure on mine but I'm thinking they would have had me stop the femara if it were otherwise. And I don't know for sure why my white cell count is low. Rads DO cause that but it's been awhile now since I finished, 7 weeks at least. And of course it only feeds into my worry about the breastbone. I've decided to go back to the extra protein diet, more sour cream and cheese again as my body is obviously trying hard to repair itself. - Skye
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Mary, was it your Onc or gyn that did the blood test checking to see if you are in menopause? I saw my Onc last week and he wasn't interested in doing the test for at least a year. The other thing is I notice that my hot flashes have significantly declined, not even sure I get one per day now. Wonder if that means I'm coming out of chemopause? I wouldn't get a period because I had an endometrial ablation, so I can't tell that way. I have an appt. w/ my gyn next month, I'll most likely ask him about it.
Mel, congrats on finishing rads, I was very emotional on my last day too...I got in the car after and cried for 10 minutes before I could drive home.
Myranda, wishing you and your mom well.
I had my MRI today on my lower back. OH MAN, I could not even get off the table after laying on my back for 40 minutes, it was awful!
They said they'll send the report to my Onc tomorrow or Monday. -
Mel congrats on your last zap! Like Lynn, I sat in the car and cried before I could leave. As I was sobbing (on the phone with DH) I kept on asking him WHY I was crying....after all, it was the end of the most awful period in my entire life! I should have been doing the happy dance!
Lynn UGH on your back....hope it feels better soon.
Back from services, and then I have to head out again in about an hour to get Frances to gymnastics and then me to the breast surgeon for my checkup. Not much there of the original equipment for him to examine, but I guess he can knock himself out
.I am feeling very blue today...it is indeed quite hard to be so isolated on the holidays. my family (parents and sister) does not care to spend it together....If i do not stand up and yell for them, they just go about their business. My In-laws are not jewish, and the jewish group that I belong to does not meet my "community needs" because their community is centered around a jewish school that I can not afford to send my kids to. As a result, I do not know anyone at the services and am basically left on the sidelines. I do it anyway because I feel the continuitiy is important for my kids, and I like the high holidays in particular because it forces me to take the time, each year, to reflect on where I am and where I would like to go in the next year. This year in particular Rosh Hashana is coinciding with the anniversary of when I started my BC journey, so it feels like I have come full circle.
I very much enjoy the services and the holiday, and find them fulfilling in some ways but in others I am left feeling empty and alone. strange, contradictory feelings from the good professor today.....YECK. I need to find something to distract myself.
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Rebecca, big (((((HUGS))))). Sorry you're having a blue day - holidays do seem to bring that out in us, don't they? They are hotbeds of unrealized expectations and unmet needs. This time of year, for all of us, is going to be hard this year anyway, and with the holiday/family stuff on top of it, no wonder you're having a hard time.
I've been thinking that a year ago, I was so blissfully ignorant of what was going on inside my body. I had found my lump in August, couldn't get scheduled until October 4 for a diagnostic mammo, and didn't even worry about it. All my previous lumps and problems had turned out to be nothing, and I was confident that this one would be too. I had the hardware removed from my foot at the end of September, and thought that I was all "fixed" and ready to get back to normal. Little did I know. Now I'm done with treatment (except for reconstruction) and hoping to get back to normal again...but I'll never feel that confidence again that everything is ok.
Since I'm a vegetarian, I'm working really hard to get enough protein to help my body to rebuild. I pretty much always get adequate fruit and vegetables, but I've giving the whole matter extra attention - sort of eating for health, rather than pleasure. I've lost a few pounds doing that, maybe 5 lb or so over 6 weeks. I'm going to ask to see a nutritionist when I see the oncologist on Monday.
Thanks to all for the congrats on finishing rads. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who cried. I was kind of embarrassed about it, but they didn't seem surprised so guess they've seen it before.
Lynn, I hope your back MRI turns out ok. Last time someone offered me an MRI of my lumbar spine, I just said no thanks. I hate the chronic pain, but it's manageable now, and I sure didn't want to have surgery. However, now I guess we don't have that luxury any more - any changes will need to be investigated. %*&@!
Sharon, have a wonderful time Sunday at the Terry Fox Run. It sounds like a really good time, and like something that will make you feel good. I need to get to working on my dragonboat team.
Will check in later. Are we chatting tonight?
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Breast Surgeon gave me a clean bill today...as much as he could, since as he said it has not been very long since my reconstruction, and it is still swollen. He wants to see me after my next mammogram which is.....when?
He also looked at my altered breasts and said "Looking good....Plastic surgeon is going to even you out I hope...."
Ummmmm way to make me feel like a freak doc....this is IT! This is as even as it gets bucko....from here it just gets lopsided as the left one sags and the right one does not...... Ah well.
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Mel, congrats on your last rad! Glad the hurricane turned the other way. My son didn't seem too concerned until everyone started calling him to see if he was okay. Guess you get a little immune to that stuff in TX real fast.
Rebecca, sorry you are alone for the holidays. Is there another synagogue that you could join that would make you feel more a part of it?
Caya, what willpower! No kugel? Keep up the good work.
Skye, thinking of you...
Lynn, I went to a new gyno and asked for the blood work. I said I certainly did not want to get pregnant and wanted to know where I stand.
Jan, Amera, Nancy, Nandy, Tina, Sharon, Myranda, Debbie, Robbin, thinking of you, and anyone else I missed.
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Oh Rebecca I can relate to how you felt, Poor thing. I swear I wish I could be with everyone of you and have "your back" as they say. I would of given you a hug and told you it's ok!
I had a very distressing day, 1st of all, I go to the Dentist, they inform me that the girl confirming the appointment yesterday told me the wrong time. (HMMM, I told her that and she said I was wrong) "Ok Lady your the boss". So I arrive at the "wrong" time and I can't have my cleaning, The hygentist is on her next appt. But the Dr. wants to start my new crown on this upper molar. Ok Fine.
Ladies.. I never want to feel the way I did ever again. He gave me novacaine and went to work, midway I started shivering like I was cold, but I wasn't. They got me a warm blanket but I could not stop shaking. It went on for 3 hours after I got home, and oh let me tell you the panic attack I had driving home! I have never had this happen to me before? Was this a reaction to the novacaine?
I guess the best way to describe it, is how some people after surgery get the teeth chatters and shakes after the anesthesia. It was like that. So scary. Then when the novacaine wore off, OMG! the pain. It was vicodin type pain, plus I am so exhausted from the shivers. I have been to this guy many times he is a good Dr. and a great cosmetic dentist, but I never had this happen? I was too afraid to tell them I didn't feel too good. But I go back Monday (for my cleaning) and I am going to mention it. If it was the novacaine, then give me something else!
I go tomorrow AM for my compression sleeve fitting, I forgot to mention this. the lady at this orthopedic type place asked me if I was a BC patient. I said yes, she said so am I, I asked her how long, expecting her to say 4-5 years and she said 3 months!! Her hair had a style! I asked her, did you not lose your hair? and she answered Yes she lost it all, and brows and lashes! I still can't believe it, honestly her hair looked as if it had been cut and styled! Amazing!
I know it was long enough to get a curler around, Not me, I look like you guys!! LOL
AHHH,you know I love ya!
Well, feeling like the pain is creeping back to life, I have not eaten all day. Maybe I'll have a bowl of cereal for dinner.
Take care!
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Oh Mel, Slap me silly!!! I want to congratulate you on your Last Rad! I forgot to add it to my last post!
HiP HIp HOORAY!!! I'm doing Lynn's Happy dance!!Love Ya!!!
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Me again, I got my laptop back again! No more sitting at the PC.
Well, My dentist just called me to see how I was doing and he said I must of had a reaction to the epinephrine in the novocaine. So strange, never had that before in my life. Thank goodness that is over! Just wanted to let you know
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Wow, I feel bad, Rebecca, that there isn't anyone to do a seder with. I'm actually surprised as NY/NJ/FL have such huge Jewish communities. I felt for you when you talked about being priced out of the school. When I first moved to FL I'd hear them selling tix to high holy day services...$200 for the better seats, etc. and I was really taken aback. Stu and Paul, the two Jewish guys I worked for, told me it's really the way the synagogues make their money to stay afloat as many jews don't attend regularly. The catholics collect weekly and multiple times at that. Anyway, I thought it would be a little disconcerting to get a seat in the back row at a service...kind of caste system-ish. Were they right about that? How close are your mom and sister to you? Do they celebrate at home? My best friend Joan's (in Boston) BFF (after me, of course
, Myra, is Jewish and nobody else is. She does the whole deal and Joan, her DH, her three boys all do the high holy days, hannakuh. They have a great time. Myra's DH is catholic so they do that too. If I was there, I'd be celebrating with you! -
Lynn, very interesting that you had the endometrial ablation. I, too, have had some pretty horrible bleeding since even before my dx but nobody took me seriously. I'd like to do it as I'm getting the d and c anyway, but then I'll have no indicator of cancer from tamoxifen, God forbid that should happen. Hmmm...
Oh, had my hormone levels done and guess what? I'm 20. I have ovarian function of a twenty year old. Who knew....
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Tina, what do you mean by "I'll have no indicator of cancer from tamoxifen?" if you have an endometrial ablation?
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Mel, congrats on the rads! God, I know it doesn't seem fast for you, but it seems you were just yesterday lamenting having to even do them. Life is flying by.
Myranda, sorry about your mother. Hope that works out. Will her primary residence be at your brothers? And how far is that from you?
Nancy, I'm so glad you've got a nice guy...it's enough to deal with what you had to with your mother and now your own issues...you need some bright spots. My DH is very, verrrrrrrrrrrrrry good to me too. Don't me wrong...he annoys the crap out of me regularly, but I know I can 100% count on him during this. This Oct. is 15 years for us. I met him in 89. I had just turned 23...baby.
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Oh Skye, you mad googler.... you're as bad as me. I always wondered how mets could develop w/clear nodes too. Yeah, you hear it can travel the bloodstream or whatever, but that seems so unlikely. That seems to be some pretty darn obscure info. you conjured up there... but again, I agree...getting too big too fast to be the case while on Herceptin.
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Yes, Lynn... if you are on Tamoxifen, the only real indicator of it causing uterine cancer, although extremely rare, is if you have irregular bleeding, staining. When you do the ablation, that masks that sign. That's why I'm reluctant. I relayed my concerns to my gyno and she said she's not worried and will discuss at my presurgery mtg. But I need facts before that. I need my onco's opinion. Note to file: call onco tomorrow. Boy oh boy, the task list never ends.
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Tina, I thought that doing a transvaginal ultrasound will help with dx of cancer from tamoxifen? I'm certainly no expert though, I just read that we should ask for that being on tamox, what else would they be looking for?
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Hi all,
La Shana Tova Rebecca and Caya,
Rebecca,
I know how you feel. Every year for the past 6 years since my dd went to college in DC and has been living there since she graduated, my mom and I have been going to my brother and sil’s house in DC to celebrate the New Year. They have about 30 people for dinner. It has been so much fun. This year is the first year I did not go due to my surgery. I also feel all alone here. My dh is not Jewish so his family does not partake either. I also feel disconnected at my synagogue- always have.
When my kids were around, I would take them to the synagogue for the holidays, but since they are gone now I go by myself and I feel alone there. It might be partly my fault for not participating in their clubs, but I feel more comfortable with my own set of friends & neighbors,
I have Jewish friends, but none of them are close by. My sister lives 1 1/2 hours away and this year I did not feel up to going there. I will probably go there for Yom Kippur, but I do wish my kids were home. I wish I could go to services with you.
Caya,
I could never turn down kugel.
Skye,
I understand your concern. I would be worrying also, but you have to remember that no matter what the onc said, he does not know for sure. Only a bone scan can determine that. Also you just finished rads and you are on herceptin and femara, so hopefully you have full protection.
Joni,
CONGRATULATIONS!! That is such great news. Now you can relax and enjoy your much deserved cruise.
Nancy,
I am sorry about your pain you had to endure. Are you still in pain? If so, maybe your dentist can give you some pain meds.
If you decide to talk to a PS, I agree that you should see someone who does Diep surgery also so you can be told about all the alternatives.
Myranda,
I am sorry about your mom. People do recover from strokes, so hopefully you mom will be one of them. I will be praying for her to fully recover.
Mel,
Congratulations on finishing your rads. A huge milestone. I hope you have a nice celebration.
We are still at our cottage. We are enjoying the mild fall. I saw my oncologist today and since I have osteoporosis, she wants me to start with tamoxifen instead of femara or arimidex. I am post menopausal so I thought an AI would be better. I am a little confused. Skye and Myranda, do you both have Osteopenia? If so, are you going on Fosomax? Did your oncs suggest tamoxifen because of that? She says that an AI would make my osteoporosis worse, and the chances of getting breast cancer are lower than my chances of breaking my bones as I get older if I go on an AI. I thought I could continue to take fosomax and still go on an AI. I am wondering if I should get a second opinion. I know a few people who have osteoporosis and are on fosomax and arimidex or femara.
Getting tired. Catch you all tomorrow.
Viddie -
Lynn, my guess is that insurance would allow for a transvaginal ultrasound unless you were exhibiting symptoms....to justify paying for it. And from what I've read, the only symptom is irregular bleeding. This is def. something I need to explore further. I can't just trust that the gyno is on the same page as the onco.
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I'm getting a little spooked here already. How many of you have already gotten a PM from a WC person "warning" you about me? This is how they work.
In fact, one of my friends called me yesterday in tears because of this misinformation that had just been posted about her yesterday.
Please PM me. IF I DON'T HEAR from you I'll KNOW something's up.
In any case, I don't feel comfortable posting here anymore.....
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Hello all:
Well, busy getting ready for the Red Ribbon Fair. I have two large pie plates (yellow) dahlias, 3 rose/white dahlias, and 3 purple/white dahlias. Also put in some gladiolas, snapdragons, geraniums, marigolds, and one beautiful mango coloured rose. Dan is off today so he is helping me with everything.
We got all signed up for curling, so that starts on September 25 (Tues - Ladies), and Sept 28 (Friday - mixed).
Happy Jewish holidays to Viddie, Rebecca, Caya, and I think it's Mary's hubby. It sounds like you guys are celebrating a New Year, is that correct? Anyways...happy, happy.
16 more sleeps.
I'm posting a picture of the quilt my girlfriend made for me.
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Wow Joni...that is GORGEOUS!
Good luck at the fair....I may be a bit biased, but your Dahlias were spectactular and I think you are going to win!
Post back later with the results and a full report please.
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Hello to all my BC sisters. I wrote to you all a while back and ask advice on a decision we had to make about the type of surgery to repair a aneurysm on my husbands aorta. It was a tough choice because of a kidney problem but we chose the lesser invasive way.
The surgery was last Friday in St. Louis and he is now home and doing well. The doctor said the kidney function is good so far.
During his hospital stay I discarded my wig and even though I still feel like I am not totally dressed when I leave the house, I will remain topless. My problem is that my hair is so curly I feel like a poodle but I will not complain, because it is HAIR.
This has been a rough year for both of us with our medical problems,and in March my mother became ill and she passed away in June.
We do praise God for his strength and direction in our life, and I praise all of you for your support. I love you all--Nandy
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Joni that is gorgeous!
Misssiz, I am confused. What's going on?
Rebecca, feeling any better today? I sure hope so. Big hugs coming through cyber space.
Nandy, so glad your dh is doing well. I swear, I think we've all been through enough already. And by the way, my hair is beginning to look like Bozo the clown. It's so curly it's out of control. Not complaining, but I really need a trim. I'm scared to death to let anyone near me with scissors though. I have no idea what to do with tight curls. If it were longer, I'd throw it in a ponytail. Maybe another couple of inches and I can use a headband or (horrors!) a scarf to tame it a bit. I have decided I do not look good in an afro LOL!
Anyone else feel like they are waiting for the other shoe to drop? Between my situation and my dad's (lung cancer) I feel as if I am just waiting for something else to go wrong.
On that cheery note, I hope everyone has a good weekend. Thinking of all of you.
XXOO Amera
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Nandy, I'm so happy your hubby is doing well. I didn't realize about you Mom, I'm so sorry, you have had more than your share this year. I loved your pic you posted. You have far more hair than me, and I have gone topless since mid June.
Amera, I have curls and kinks. There is no way I can do anything with mine, it just goes in the direction that it wants. Darling Dan calls it a "Direct Hit"...hahaha.
It's a beautiful fall day here, hope everyone has a great weekend.
Big hug to all....Joni
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Myranda, I haven't gotten anything, but I think you will find it unanimous among us that WC is messing with the wrong crowd of sisters here, so don't let it worry you.
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Nandy I am soooo glad that your DH is doing so well. Like you have not been through enough.....
Amera I hear you on Bozo the clown....my hair is not yet long enough for the true bozo, but I can see it starting. I have some curls behind my ears that are starting to stick straight up and NOTHING I do seems to calm them down. I am thinking that when it gets longer I may just go with the craziness and just spike it up it all different directions.
I am feeling better today...thankfully when I get over the blues pretty fast. I honestly do not have time to sit around and feel sorry for myself. I had a very busy day today, and this weekend is chock full of fun activities. Between that and all the cyberhugs I got I think I am back on track
My mom gave me a gift certificate to Ann Taylor for my birthday LAST YEAR....I never spent it because, well, I was afraid to buy clothing that I would not be able to wear. I have been carrying it around in my wallet to spend in celebration of finishing everything up and I think that this weekend is the weekend! YIPEEEEE SHOPPING!
Well anyway, family time now....gotta go. Hugs to you all!
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Hi all,
Joni,
Good luck with the Red Ribbon Fair. Your dahlia’s are so beautiful- you have to win!!
That quilt is absolutely beautiful.
Nandy,
I am so glad you dh is doing so well. I hope he and you can get lots of R & R. You deserve it.
Myranda,
I have not received any PM from anyone regarding you.
I am trying to cut down to two vicodin a day, 10AM and 10PM. I take tylenol in the middle of the day, but that does not touch it. I am most uncomfortable between 5 pm and 9pm. That too shall pass- I hope.
I had another setback- one of my flaps- the inner circle- has separated from the rest of the skin and I see the inners. I e-mailed my PS this morning with a picture of it. His nurse told me that he said it was FINE and just make a gauze pad wet with saline and put it on that area and then put a dry gauze over that. He said he would not do anything different if I went in person. It does not hurt. I am getting a bit frustrated- I just want the healing to begin. I understand that nothing is perfect and complications do happen, and this is just another speed bump, but I am getting tired of all these speed bumps since last November. I am just spent. Sorry to complain again, but these are my uncomfortable hours.
Viddie -
Ahhh viddie you have every right to complain. That sounds absolutely miserable and after being through the wringer as you have this is just too much. All I can say is hang in there, and know that there are a lot of people out here who care...
{{{{{{viddie}}}}}}
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