June 2007 Chemo

Okay, I posted without having seen all the previous posts...I'm a little confused by the new format. I'm pretty computer literate so it must be chemo brain! Shrink, there are times when I cry all day for no apparent reason except that someone is kind. I also find myself thinking "at least you don't have cancer" a lot--whenever someone complains about something I think is not that big of a deal.

I haven't cried at an infusion but when I went to register my son at school this year I ran into a teacher and told her what was going on and I could not stop crying.  I felt bad for her cause I made her cry too.

I have a great dog. She may not have known I had cancer (or maybe she did) but she is the greatest comfort to me late at night. My huband doesn't get home from work till 4am so it's me and her on the bed for most of the night. Then she decides she needs to eat at 3am...might be one of the reasons I don't sleep through the night.

DebbieK, I hope you are feeling better now. Garnetann, I hope the gel things work. I have been wearing my wig a lot lately because I'm getting out more and it comes off as soon as I get  in the house. Terry, I'm glad you feel so good (I do too!) and maybe Monday won't be so bad since you feel so good now. DebbieM, I hope you got those tough genes!

Cyndi

Hi all

Also getting used to the new format. Will have to see if I can put my picture back.   Had my first Taxol yesterday, they gave me benedryl first, knocked me out, than the aloxi, decadron and zantac, then the Taxol.  It took over 4 hours to get done, but I slept most of the time.  Was feeling good enough to drive home afterwards though.  And was suprised to sleep most of the night. Had night sweats though, getting used to them.  No nausea this morning, (thank goodness) or last night.  I did not even take any of my antinausea medicines either.  Just a little achey this morning, took some advil and filled my rx for percocet.  The percocet will make me constipated and drowsy so will see if I can subside the aches until tonight after my neulasta shot, because I know the neulasta will make me hurt something terrible.  I am just tickled not to be sick to my stomach. Had coffee and ice cream for breakfast.  Yeah, I know real nutritious!  Still have a nasty taste in my mouth too.  My poor little veins are getting a workout, hindsight is 20/20, probably should have gotten the port. Too late now, have 3 taxols left so I will get through it.  They used a smaller needle for the taxol and had no problems at all. 

I started the eucrin cream today on my feet, don't know if it works but my feet are soft like a baby's bottom. My L-glutamine will be delivered today, so will start that too. My oncologist said I was the first person to try it, and is really interested to see how I do on it.  Must be a more current idea if I am his first patient and he has been doing this for years and years. 

I put on my wig today with the gel band and I can't even feel it. This might be the solution after all. 

My eyes are getting less dry and the canker sore is healing. 

I agree about listening to other people griping about insignificant things.  Yesterday, it was someone complaining about the price of gas.  I looked at him and said there are worse things in the world.  And there really are.

Terry, Great news about the infection!  I don't know how you were able to stay so cool about it.

Today was a better day and no fever tonight!  Yeah!  Maybe I will be ready for Monday after all!  Can't wait for that last treatment.

Garnetann, I have had no nausea whatsoever with Taxol.  Looks like you are starting out the same way.  Just watch that bone and joint pain; don't let it get ahead of you.  I hope it will be mild.

I find myself thinking the same thing when I hear people complaining about minor stuff.  I wonder if we will always feel this way from now on.  I also really have sympathy for someone who gets diagnosed with cancer because I have such a much better understanding of what they are facing.  It really is a "walking in the shoes" kind of thing.

Hope everyone is well out there.  Debbie 

What is up with changing websites!?!?!?!  organizedchristmas (I KNOW - it's too early but I can't help it!! and this one have both changed and I am feeling a tad confused...............adding to my wrinkles squishing up brow!! LOL

Good to hear so many of you are doing well!!  These bumps - little & big ones - in our road to recovery sure can catch us off guard and put a damper in things.

LOVED this short week!!  With Monday off and today off for treatment, I feel like I had a vacation of sorts!  Guess I'll be catching up next week - at least Mon - Thurs since I took off every Friday to do my weekly taxol-herceptin.

Had tx #3 today - went smoothly; came home, took a nap.  My red counts are a bit lower but the nurse said no shot till I reach 10 hmg and I'm at 11.3.  So far, so good.  She suggested eating more veggies, beans, lean red meat and exercise.  UGH.  I'm sure those would help with the 4 pounds I've gained since the beginning of June too!  Probably doesn't sound like much, but I'm 5'1" and it shows!!!  All in the middle!!  I was liking my ice cream and comfort foods a bit too much I guess!! LOL

Have a great weekend everyone!

Dawn

Hi Everyone,

I haven't posted in a while.  It was great to read all the posts and catch up on everyone.

I've been busy with my family leaving me!  One daughter went back to college five hours north of home, my other daughter left for Italy for a college semester abroad, and my husband started a new job three hours south of home.  I went from a full house to an empty house in one week.  I was fine at first, but it's starting to get a little lonely around here.  

I have had my sixth Taxol tx and I have six to go.  This is the first week I've felt extremely tired since I started Taxol.  My blood counts are the lowest they've been and I really feel it.  I'm hoping I don't get my tx delayed.  I'm planning to visit my daughter in Italy 17 days after my last Taxol infusion, and I'm beginning to think I won't be able to go.  I'm not sure how fast we bounce back after our last treatment.  Does anyone know?

Just like some of you, with my family gone, my black lab is now sleeping on my bed.  I'm sure it interferes with my sleep, but I don't care.  He is such good company!

I get so frustrated as well listening to people complaining about every little thing.  I feel like I worry less and complain less than I did before bc.  I realize now that my complaining or worrying isn't going to help keep me safe or make it better. 

I did have a little scare and drove four hours to my plastic surgeon to be reassured.  My tissue expanders started rippling, but it looked like lumps in my breast.  He told me it was normal and that some other smaller lumps were from the sutures around the Alloderm.  It was worth the drive to find out everything was okay.  So I guess I do still worry!

Terry, congratulations on your wound healing and no more packing.  That just sounded so uncomfortable and frustrating, as if we aren't already uncomfortable enough!

Shrink, I wish you the very best and that the rest of your treatment does the trick.  You are in my prayers.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers for few side effects, great appetites, some rest, and a great weekend.

xoxo

Kathleen

Hi all

Up and attem this morning, still sore from both the taxol and the neulasta shot, but the percoset knocked me out and I slept really well.  Working on some coffee this morning, but feels funny going down since my neck is sore too.  Weird feelings. 

Terry, very good news on your infection.  Hard situation for that lady.  I belong to weight watchers and still do, even through all this. Even though my ww group is from all over the country, and some I have not met, they have been wonderfully supportive, but I am the first person they have knew well going through breast cancer. Anyway, one of my ww friends went to church and there was a lady at church, kinda grumpy and kept to herself and my friend realized she was probably going through chemo because of her headwear. She got the courage up to talk to this lady and realized this lady was not grumpy, just very scared and having someone to talk to helped her a lot. It is a hard thing to do to approach a stranger, especially no knowing what kind of reaction you will get.  Like "how could you understand what I am going through" kind of thing.  But we do understand, even though each of our situations is unique, we are all in this battle together. 

Another interesting thing that I remembered was this lady was talking to me about studies they have done linking stress and traumatic situations to the onset of cancer.  She said they are looking at how unresolved traumatic events that occurred about 18-24 months prior to the cancer appearing.  She asked me if I had had any major traumatic events, deaths, divorce, etc, and I poopooed the idea and said no until I remembered my baby (well, he was 18) had left for the air force academy just about exactly 18 months prior to my diagnosis. I was a basket case, crying, I could not even go into his room without crying.  She said it is not just a traumatic event, but one that you have not had closure for.  Of course I got over it and am fine now, but I wonder how much credence these studies have...

Maybe some of you have already figured this out but I added our group to my favorites and now I get emails whenever there's a new post. I really like that because it wasn't that easy to get to since they changed it. My only other gripe is now I have to log in every time and before it would remember me as long as I was on my own computer.

As far as approaching the lady crying, I probably wouldn't have either. Then second guessed myself after...Some people are so much more private about this than others. I tell practically everybody but I know some women that don't want anyone to know. With a stranger, who knows. I do know that I hate to have people see me cry.

I am trying to figure out if there was something traumatic 18 months ago...so far can't come up with anything but I think trauma and stress really affect your hormones. Oh, I just thought of something! I was actually having a rough patch in my marriage and wasn't sure if I was going to stay married or not. We worked things out and everything is great (besides my health of course!) now but maybe there is something to that...

For those of you already on taxol, does it affect the taste of food like the AC? I'm so glad to be able to enjoy my coffee now and everything else too!

Cyndi

Hi everyone. Well , I started my tamoxifen. I really don't feel any different. I might be having some hot flashes. My head gets a really hot sensation , a little sweat , then I'm fine. If thats all that happens , I  feel really blest. I am going to ask my onc about the cyp2d6 test though. I want to know if my body is metabolizing this med. If not , then I need to do something else. I was trying to think if something tramatic happened before diagnosis. Work is often stressful , but that is work. My niece was diagnosed with MS months before my bc. That was stressful... humm... 

My hair is growing!!!! I know , people would look at me and think , "where" but I know it is and my SO said so too. But there is an awful lot of grey. But , thats what they make dye for! I am going to go have my arcrylic nails  put back on in a couple weeks. That will certainly help my feel alittle more feminine.

Terry , so glad to hear the packing is over! You really went through it. The relieve feels so good doesn't it! Debbie , so glad the fever is gone and good luck Monday. Kathleen , I don't think we will ever stop worrying. I am glad the lumps were nothing.

I'm glad to here alot of us are getting our taste buds back! Mine aren't 100% , but stuff is tasting better/stronger. Ah , coffee , what a blessing!lol. Well , good luck to everyone . Hope your week is full of peace and good healing. Melody

Finally up this morning, I had a delayed nausea reaction yesterday and felt lousy.  Took a zofran and seemed to help a lot. Don't know if the nausea was from the percoset or the taxol.  Or from not eatig and taking stuff on an empty stomach. If it is not one thing, it is another.  Still achey this morning though. So for, no tingling or numbness in my fingers or toes, just really tired.  Waiting for that ol' peach fuzz to start on me, hoping it starts back before I finish taxol.  Still, all in all, other than the aches, taxol is still better than AC.

Shrink, I read something interesting today on rates of surviving breast cancer.  It said to remember it takes time to put statistics together and doctors monitor women with breast cancer for many years.  So the cancer statistics we see relate to people diagnosed and treated some time ago.  The outlook for breast cancer continues to improve.  So it figures that women treated more recently may do better than the statistics.  This made sense to me as well as making me feel better and I wanted to share it with you.  The site I was on was www.cancerhelp.org.uk

I have my last taxol tomorrow.  I am nervous as I was pretty sick off and on for the last two weeks, and I don't want to be worse this time.  I will be checking in later in the week and let you guys know how it's going.

Take care, everyone.

Debbie 

Thanks, Debbie, for the reference.  I looked it up and the stats confirmed what I'd read elsewhere.  Since I have a large tumor (6 cm), grade 3, unknown # of nodes, I'm in the 20-42% of women who might make it to a 10 year survival party.  As you said, the stats are based on old data.  I'm hoping that in the next few years, new treatments will emerge and help all of us live long, healthy lives.  All I can do is make the years I have as wonderful as possible. That's my plan.

Good Morning all

Back at work today, feeling pretty unscathed compared to the AC.  Still a little achey, but not nearly as out of it as before.  I am thinking I can tolorate this stuff better. Did keep the fluids going and the l-glutamine started. So far, no finger or toe problems. Also putting gobs of lotion stuff on my feet, not sure why, I think it is for the peeling of the feet, just in case, but makes my feet soft anyway.

My WBC was about 4.6 last time, but he went ahead and chemoed me.  I did not have the neulasta shot before so I was not too worried. I did get the neulasta shot this time around though. So looking forward to being done with chemo, but not looking forward to starting radiation.  They did not give me a definate schedule for it when I visited with them since I had not had surgery when I went to him the first time, so I am hoping he might shorten my treatments or something based on all my information. 

Wore hair to work today, will see how the gel band does for the long haul. So for, I don't even notice I am wearing hair, which is a big difference from before, I was always pulling at it and trying to make it more comfortable, but no problems so far.

I think about the statistics a lot too.  I think about the people they are reporting on now have not had some of the benefits we have had and that maybe our outcomes will be more positive.  I also think about the things I did in my past, drinking too much, partying too much, drinking well water, eating processed foods, not exercising, or just pissing off the Big Guy. I don't know, but I know I can't change the past, just really would like to know what started it.  Was there one thing I did or did not do to create this.  sigh...

On the upside, my weight has maintained, through the steroids and all.  My diet has not been the best, but I am glad I am not gaining. I am thinking, just thinking I might start back step aerobics tommorow afternoon, not teach, just participate. See how it goes.  My class I used to teach wants me to teach again, but not sure if I can do the 5 day a week just yet. 

Bonnie, I found this link under the "Moving Beyond Cancer" discussion on this site:

http://www.hopkinsbreastcenter.org/library/diagnosis_treatment/post_treatment.shtml

It talks about when treatment ends and what to expect on several fronts: emotions, family and friend reactions, follow-up visits, etc.    Hope this helps to ease some of your concerns.   Have you checked out that discussion thread yet?    It's under "moving beyond cancer" and I think the thread title is something like 'My treatment has ended, now what..."  

My 3rd taxol was pretty uneventful today except for the interminable wait...ugh.   The dr was running behind so finally saw his PA.   We were there from 9 AM to 2:30 but my sweet husband ran out and bought subs for lunch and a much appreciated diet coke!   They are putting a heart (monitor) halter on me Wed before my neulasta shot to see if they can figure out why my heart races so.   It starts late Wed PM and lasts for a few days.  I guess it won't show exactly the cause but hopefully will rule out any abnormalities!! 

DebbieK and Kathleen, how did your treatments go today?  Debbie, hope you aren't sick!!  

 Guess thats my update for now...everyone take care this week. 

Had to change my profile!  I was diagnosed in 2007, not in 1951!:)

Hi All ,

Fumi, I remember another Debbie in this June 2007 group. In the link to her post you sent she sounds pretty desparate to establish contact again. I wonder if the site administrators could help with information to contact her. I kinda know how she feels as the new format locked me out of my login for days. They finally fixed it after a tech complaint from me but I thought I was banished or something. In fact it is nice to get back to this group as there is no other place like it.

I finished tx#5 of 6 for TC last Friday. Now I am checking off the familiar side effects day by day. I am really tired of reading and extremely tired of TV. The usual hobbies don't hold much appeal right now, either. I can't figure why such a slump when I am almost done with chemo.

My best to all of you. Keep on keeping on.

Linda