Mom just diagnosed

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BrookeJ25
BrookeJ25 Member Posts: 9
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

Hi, I'm new to the forum and need as much support as I can get. My mom is 77 and was just diagnosed with breast cancer. It appears that it has spread to her lungs. She is meeting with an oncologist this week and treatment will be determined. This is very scary, as you know or can imagine. Does anyone have a similar story or situation? Also, although not breast cancer, my sister has been battling stage 4 ovarian cancer for two years. Thank you in advance for your input.

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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited September 2007
    Hi CAGma,
    I just wanted to welcome you and tell you that I am sorry
    you are here and all that your family is going through.

    I don't have the same situtation , but wanted to welcome you and give you a hug and if you need to talk we are
    here. The first days of dx are the worst and so scary
    everyones head is spinning trying to understand it all.

    Hugs,
    Carrie
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  • BrookeJ25
    BrookeJ25 Member Posts: 9
    edited September 2007

    Thank you so much for your response and support. You are much appreciated! During this difficult time it definitely helps to have hugs from friends near and far!

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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited September 2007
    Once there is a plan of action in place it gets some better.
    The waiting is terrible. Some one should go with mom to write things down she will have a hard time taking it all
    in. So will family so write it down or take a small tape recorder. Most Oncs understand that it is overwhelming and
    will not mind. When is her appointment? Please come back
    any time and let us know how you all are doing.

    Hugs,
    Carrie
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  • BrookeJ25
    BrookeJ25 Member Posts: 9
    edited September 2007

    Her appointment is Tuesday. I will definitely be back with updates. Thanks again!

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  • LANEF
    LANEF Member Posts: 94
    edited September 2007
    CAGma,
    I am so sorry that you are going through this, but I will say that this is a wonderful place to come if you have questions, need answers or if you just need a shoulder to cry on! Everyone on these boards are wonderful! I don't have a lot of advice for you, but I can tell you that my mom was the most healthy and active woman and at the age of 57 she was diagnosed with stage III Breast cancer. She had the breast removed and had the reconstructive surgery. She went through some really hard times with her chemo and her radiation at first. I can tell you that I was extremely scared. It felt like a truck had run over me. I had a 7 month old and a 2 year old at the time and she could not hold them and was even to weak to be around them. After abouit a year of chemo and radiation she was doing well. Then a few years ago the cancer metastasized to her bones. It was like being hit by a truck. A huge slap in the face. Her treatments this time got easier. After being treated for that about a year and a half ago or so she was diagnosed with mets to the liver. We almost lost her in November as her chemo was not working. However, they ended up switching her chemo to Gemzar and she is doing much much better. She is down again right now as she has a blood clot in her leg and they have also found a spot in her lung on an xray. She had a cat scan last Thursday and we will be getting the results this Thursday. Praying it is not spreading there now. Anyhow, long story a little shorter it has been my experience that if you can be there for your mom, go to her appointments with her and as the other ladies said right down or record what the Dr. says. If you can try to keep a positive attitude *I know this is hard* and if your mom can this is always a plus. And read the posts on this board. There are so many woman that have beat the odds with this awful disease! It is important to remember that! Nobody knows how long we have. No Dr. can even be sure of that. My last thing I want to tell you then I will stop rambling, is that you need to enjoy every good day that you have with your mom. You need to know that this is a long journey and you will have good days and bad days...and that is ok. It is like a roller coaster. Try to take it one day at a time!
    Hope this helps. You are in my thoughts and prayers and so is your mother of course.
    God bless you!
    LANEF
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  • BrookeJ25
    BrookeJ25 Member Posts: 9
    edited September 2007

    Thank you for your support and information. It helps so much to have inspirational examples like yourself. All my best to you and your mom. Please keep me posted, I'm thinking of you as you wait for the results of her cat scan tomorrow. You have all been through so much. God bless!!!

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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited September 2007
    CAGma,
    Yes! do read the boards, that is what I did when my sister
    was dx'd June 13, 2005. She had a 3.7 IDC that was attached
    to the chest muscle and positive for vascular invasion. I
    was so scared, and reading here helped me be more prepared for the medical lingo, I wrote things down the oncologist said and then came here and looked it up. When she was doing treatment I read the boards and it heled me to help her with the Side effects. ( sometimes the Doctor down plays
    them) Lanef praying for good scans for Mom. Hugs to you and Mom too!

    CAGma no question or feeling is dumb, ask away and vent away
    when you need too!! Lord Knows I did. A wonderful lady that went by Cowgirl was here for me and she helped me help my sister. I could come here and be afraid discouraged sad
    and let it all out to ladies that been there done that and
    they understood. It was hard to talk to people that had not seen it up close they would say things trying to make it better, They just didn't understand. When my sister was feeling better she started posting here she is 'deese".
    She has met some wonderful friends that even though she
    does not post much (I am the gabby one LOL)she remains
    friends with them.

    I will be thinking of you both and coming back to check in
    on you.

    Hugs,
    Carrie
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited September 2007

    Hi CAGma,

    I was thinking of you and Mom that her appointment is

    Tuesday. I will be keeping you both in my prayers

    and sending you healing thoughts over the net.

    Hugs,

    Carrie

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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited September 2007

    oops I mean Brooke looks like you had

    trouble with the log in oops lady too !!

    Keep us posted We care.

     hugs,

    Carrie

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  • Cherlilly
    Cherlilly Member Posts: 28
    edited September 2007

    Brooke,

    I know all too well just how you are feeling.  I just want to tell you that no matter what you read or hear, each case is different.  Never give up HOPE.  It is a big word!  Each day is a new day of hope and new treatments are always on the horizon!  How wonderful that you are right there to help your mother through this and hold her hand.  Come here to get the support you need!

    My mother was 68 when she got breast cancer.  (smoker and drinker for over 40 yrs.)  She was a survivor of breast cancer and did radiation, not chemo.  She was a trooper and never complained, but that was my mom.  She was fine up until around Thanksgiving lst year and didn't feel well and had alot of pain in her bones and lungs.  She was diagnosed with lung cancer and we lost her this April.  I live in Ohio and she lives in Florida and was on a plane to see her and never made it in time.  We didn't want her to suffer though and for that we are thankful.  My sister is also a FOUR year survivor of stage 4 ovarian cancer!!!! She is doing GREAT and they said she wouldn't make it a year!  She just had scans and bloodwork done and all is well.

     In August, I had my regular mammogram (have been getting them for over 20 years) I am 51, and they found a large mass.  I had a biopsy done and was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma.  I just had a lumpectomy, August 28th along with a sentinal node biopsy and it has not spread to my lymph nodes.  I start chemo in a couple of weeks.  I was so not ready for this after just loosing my mom and was still dealing with that, BUT.....I have always chosen to live in the NOW and appreciate every day I am given! 

     You will make it through this Brooke.  You are stronger than you may ever realize.  Walk this journey determined to gather all of the good you can out of it.  Focus on HOPE and not the what ifs. 

    If you need to talk, just email me and I can call you anytime.

    my email is:  cherlilly12@yahoo.com

     BIG, BIG hugs and I will be praying for your whole family as you go through the days ahead with your mother and for the wisdom to know what is right regarding your mothers treatment plan. 

    Your friend,

    Cheryl

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  • BrookeJ25
    BrookeJ25 Member Posts: 9
    edited September 2007

    Thank you all so much for your support.  I cannot even tell you how much this helps, although you probably know!  Cheryl, I will be thinking of you.  I know you can make it through the chemo, please keep me posted and let me know how you are doing.  I am here for you, too!  I will let you all know how tomorrow goes for Mom.  She spent the weekend with me and my children, we had a great time.  She was happy to have something to do, places to go, to keep the anxiety over tomorrow's appointment at bay.  I only hope that she can see her grandkids during her treatments.  I know she's worried about that.  Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.  I will be in touch very soon!  Thanks and hugs!!

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  • tammy-jo
    tammy-jo Member Posts: 1
    edited September 2007

    My mom has been battling breast cancer for 20 years.  The best advice I can give you is to take notes on anything you are told.  Look it up on the web and help your mom take control of her health plan. 

    Don't be intimidated by the doctors.  Believe me, we have been doing this with my mom for 20 years, longer than some doctors have been doctors. 

    Two things I have learned in life:  1. take control of your health

    2.  been personally involved in your money

    good luck

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  • BrookeJ25
    BrookeJ25 Member Posts: 9
    edited September 2007

    Mom had her appointment with the oncologist today.  She needs to have a biopsy to confirm the nodules in her lungs are indeed cancer spread from the breast.  So, no defined plan of treatment until after the biopsy.  Then, it will be determined if she can go ahead with the masectomy or undergo other treatment for the cancer that is in her lungs first.  Thank you again for all of your support.  Here we go again.  This is quite a roller coaster ride.  Also, not so good news about my sister.  There is a nodule in her abdomen.  At this point it looks like she will undergo three straight weeks of radiation.  If that doesn't work, her doctor is concerned that this cancerous node will actually spread from the abdomen to the outside of her body.  Anyone heard of that or had any experience with internal cancers spreading outside? 

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  • BrookeJ25
    BrookeJ25 Member Posts: 9
    edited September 2007

    Mom had her appointment with the oncologist today.  She needs to have a biopsy to confirm the nodules in her lungs are indeed cancer spread from the breast.  So, no defined plan of treatment until after the biopsy.  Then, it will be determined if she can go ahead with the masectomy or undergo other treatment for the cancer that is in her lungs first.  Thank you again for all of your support.  Here we go again.  This is quite a roller coaster ride.  Also, not so good news about my sister.  There is a nodule in her abdomen.  At this point it looks like she will undergo three straight weeks of radiation.  If that doesn't work, her doctor is concerned that this cancerous node will actually spread from the abdomen to the outside of her body.  Anyone heard of that or had any experience with internal cancers spreading outside? 

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  • Mary1968
    Mary1968 Member Posts: 58
    edited September 2007

    i am living your nightmare...all i have to say, it will get better with time.

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  • BrookeJ25
    BrookeJ25 Member Posts: 9
    edited September 2007

    Again, thank you all for your prayers and support.  I am so thankful for this forum.  Mom met with the oncologist today and had a bit of good news.  The cancer did not spread to her lungs. For the breast cancer, she will take Arimidex, see the oncologist in six weeks to estimate the tumor's size, and we'll go from there. 

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