Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Nancy, good for you for going to Arizona. I've never been. Looks fun. Some day.

We had an impromptu cookout here last night. Invited Wendy and Beth and their DH's and kids. That in iself constituted a large group. I marinated steak tips in Good Seaons dressing over night, marinated chiken in teriyaki, roasted red bliss potatoes w/the Lipton onion soup mix, corn on the cob, a really good baked bean recipe where you doctor up 2 cans of baked beans w/brown suger, lima beans, kidney beans, ground beef, sauteed onions and bacon. Really good. Was a big hit. I also got a delicious spinach artichoke cheese dip at Costco that I put on tiny thin slices of sourdough bread. Also had Jack's Salsa, which is very good and fresh. We had plenty of wine and Coronas and hung out on my pation until midnight. Had a log of laughs. I love to have fun and have a few cocktails but I worry about that exacerbating my BC. I read in Carolyn Kaelins book (the Harvard BC dr. and patient) that if you take 600 mcgs. of folic acid it will prent alcohol from causing BC or a recurrence. So, there are 400 mgs. in my centrum and I got straight folic acid pills at the store, but they are 400 mcgs, so I got a pill splitter. I figure it can't hurt to take that if I've gone to a party or had wine at a reastaurant... ok, I'm really getting paranoid now.

I'm busy party planning right now... Jaclyn's 7th is coming up and she wants it at Friends 2 Be Made and I want to do a Sunday brunch for Beth, whose turning 40. My house is TRIPPED out for Halloween so I like to get a chance to use it. Hey, I got invited to a "pink hat" party by some women I really don't know, but they are a local bc support group. I really should go despite feeling awkward that I don't know anyone. Sounds like a nice group of ladies.

Hi, Amera
Your summer sounds wonderful. Hope tomorrow is quiet and you can gather your thoughts together to prepare for the return to school.

Caya, your friends' party sounds like quite the deal. I can't imagine having all of that in my backyard. Although I wouldn't mind a lap pool. I'd have to share it with the cattle dog who loves water but I could deal with that. I guess first I have to find a mastectomy swimsuit.

I've had a quiet day. But my yard is mowed and I've done a load of laundry so that's not all bad. And I wandered through Borders with one of my girls. A trip to a bookstore always makes me smile.

Happy Sunday evening, all.

waving at y'all from Iowa...

Cindy

Hi Gals,
Viddie, I am sorry it is so slow. Poor baby. Go ahead and cry, but keep taking the vicodin as long as you need it. Skye, you always make me laugh. Dance, Girl! Caya, what a great party! Amera, welcome back, glad you had a good summer. And Tina, what yummy recipes!

Not much new ... worked in the yard yesterday, only a month til the wedding. Today I went for a bike ride with my husband, and I was slow, but it was lots of fun. I seem to be so stiff. My ankles still fill up with fluid, though not as badly, but my hips seem stiff too. Don't know what is going on. It doesn't hurt, it's just hard to get moving.

Anyone have heart issues? I just had a muga and it was fine. But I have a couple of episodes a day when my heart seems to pound or skip beats. I don't feel badly when it happens, just disconcerting.

I am working hard to tie up the wedding details. It's so odd to think of Anne marrying. She is very bright, is a veternarian, so obviously she is a focused woman. But I still think of her as my baby. Somehow it is harder to envision her married than it was last year with Jill. But the plans are coming together well; I met the florist at the venue on friday, and it's so lovely. Everything is blooming, and the florist is an old friend of mine, so I know she will do a great job.

Ok, sweet dreams all.

Melia

Tina – Sounds like you all had a great time at your cookout. Is Friends 2 Be Made like Build-a-Bear? Em had her 5th b-day there – it was so much fun. I think you should definitely go to the pink hat party. It doesn’t matter that you don’t know anyone. You’ll be fine and probably meet some really cool women. Go.

Viddie – I’m sorry you are having such a hard time. You sound very uncomfortable. Cry all you want – I think a good pity party is very therapeutic every now and then. I’d keep taking the pain pills if I were you. I hope you start feeling better soon. Are you getting enough rest?

Rebecca – the farm sounds awesome. I love fresh salsa. I’m not much of a cook, but I love to make fresh pico.

My best friend/college roommate was here this weekend with her husband and son. We had a really good time. Their son is 11. I took him rock climbing – he loved it and did a really good job. It helped that he’d been a couple of times before. Today we went out on the boat, took the kids tubing and then let them swim in the lake. It was about as relaxing as you can get with three kids involved.

Hope everyone had a good long weekend. Hang in there Viddie.

Amera, I agree that it is probably for someone who has had Lymphedema, but something besides having lymphs taken cause then to get it and I sure as heck don't want it! But the hassle of it.... A therapist came to a meeting I was at for BC and said wear a sleeve when you fly, none of us at that point had even had our surgeries yet. She put the fear in me, HA! Maybe she sells these sleeves, who knows?
It is driving me crazy, I hear a Dr. or Nurse tell me something then months later they tell me something different. l But like everyone here says, we have to watch over ourselves. Glad everyone had a nice weekend with friends and family. MMMM...I can smell the barbeque from here!

Cindy, good for you, although you might be exhausted tonight or tomorrow. Glad you got a lot accomplished, you must feel like normal.

Mary, so glad you had fun in Chicago, I love that city!

Amera, so nice to have you back, we missed you! Best of luck going back to work tomorrow, I'm sure you'll do fine.

Oh Viddie, I'm so sorry you are having such a bad time, hang in there and keep taking the pain meds if you need them. {{{{{{{{{Viddie}}}}}}}}}}

Regarding compression sleeves. I only had 1 node (sentinal) removed so I think the chances of me getting lymphedema is pretty small. I've flown 3 times since surgery and have not had any problems. I don't think I'd be able to handle the long flights accross the country with one on...yuck!

I'm having a tag sale next weekend so spent all this weekend gathering stuff. Wow, we have a LOT of stuff. We have everything staged in the garage..I'll spend some time each night pricing things. It'll be nice to be rid of all that stuff.

Tomorrow I go see my new breast surgeon, then going to the Red Sox game tomorrow night.

OK....here goes. More kid crap. Jaclyn went out this am, happy as clam, and walked over to Olivia's yard to see if she wanted to play..she was out there in a playtent w/a couple of girls. Olivia tells her no, I'm not allowed to play with you anymore.

Jaclyn comes home hysterical. I FLIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPED out, called Adrienne, the mom, who is a class A phony *itch. I told her what Olivia said and she said yes, she did tell Olivia that she's no longer allowed to play with Jaclyn. She tells me Jaclyn is a bully and that there are plenty of other people Olivia can play with. I asked her how Jaclyn bullied Olivia (who, by the way is a year older and a head taller) and she said: she tells Olivia that she's doing things that Olivia says she's not. I said give me an example. No examples. Nada. Zero. I'm like this is bull. I said why didn't you call me if there was a problem? She said why should I? I said how would YOU like it if I told Olivia she wasn't allowed over here to play anymore? I don't think you'd like that. She said oh, I'd understand if there was the behavior. I said yes, I would too...IF YOU'D TOLD ME ABOUT THE BEHAVIOR!!! I flipped out on her and told her I was very upset with her and didn't want to talk to her anymore about it and hung up on her.

I was so pissed I said that's it...the gloves are off. I have been nothing but nice to her girls and they have practically lived at my house, throuch cancer and all, over the last two years. How dare she. And her idiot husband...she says "Steve agrees with me!"

I am done being the p.c. neighbor who lets it all slide. I purposely shared w/some known big mouths at the pool today that I am DONE with that family, that they are treating my daughter terribly and I've told my kids they are to no longer speak to any of them, parents included. I am so DONE. I was hysterical over this, this am at Wendy's house. She said, damn, Tina, you weren't even this upset at your dx. And I wasn't. I have been taking these peoples shit for three years... It's over.

Thanks for listening. Oh, by the way, this family is good buds with the ones from last week that the dad threatened Jaclyn with "you're not welcome in my home" (after they invited her over). I think they discussed that and decided to gang up on Jaclyn. They'll get theres. I'll let anyone I know what think of them. I don't care anymore. That's what BC does to you.

Oh, Melia, thx. for the kind words. This has our whole house upset. This am my daughter is upset, because she still liked the girl and wants to be her friend. I'm like sorry, they've just gone too far this time. There's something to be said for a private home. But it's so nice, too, to have kids all around so you don't have to import playdates, etc. And Jan, yes, Friends 2 B Made is an offshoot of Build A Bear and now I have three less guests I need to pay for...there's always a silver lining.

Melia, w/34 nodes removed I think I'd be inclined to get a compression sleeve for flying. I fly a lot, but only had one or two nodes taken out during the SNB.

Good luck on your mammogram. I have my MRI results coming in, herceptin this week, a BS appt. and need to get w/the gyno. to figure out what I'm going to do about that situation.

God, I woke up at 4 am, still pissed and had to take another ativan to get back to sleep until 7:00. See what stress does?

Tina - I'm so sorry about your crappy neighbors. Rebecca is right - in the long run all of you are better off without their crap. It's so unfair for your daughter to have to deal with such bad behavior from them.

Rebecca - glad your first class went well.

On the node removal thing I read somewhere recently that it's not just how many were removed but how many were in that area to begin with that effects your risk. Some have more than others, or maybe only a few nodes were removed but from an area that had only a few to start with. I don't know if that's right or not - but it seemed logical when I read it. I've seen women with lymphodema - and for sure I want to do anything I can to avoid it.

Tina - take some deep breaths and try to let this go. The only person you are hurting my being so angry is you. And those rotten neighbors don't get to have that kind of influence in your life. Write them off and move on. I hate to see you so stressed out!

Caya, I agree it's nice to be able to cook what you want when you want with the kids gone. I do miss talking to them though. Boys almost never call.
Tina, sorry to hear of the neighborhood politics. It's so hard these days for kids to fit in and then to have that snob.
Cindy, glad your energy is back. Go with it when you can.
Rebecca, I was thinking of you as college starts back. It is too bad the English is so bad in high school that you have to learn it in college.
Skye and Joni, thinking of you ...hugs. Viddie too!

Robbin - did you take your Tamox yet?

Hey Ladies,
I finally got my laptop working again, woohoo! My Big Mac is much too slow. I was glad I'd eaten supper after reading the posts about the delicious bbq's, Tina and Caya. Tina, my heart goes out to little Jaclyn and you, all that drama she has to suffer due to playmates overinvolved parents. Jan is right, take some deep breaths...breathe in 4 seconds, hold 4 secs, release for 8 secs and do that a bunch of times, it brings your whole system down out of stress. Don't let the (insert expletive of choice) bring you down! They aren't worth your precious time and thought.
Cindy you sound like a positive fireball of energy! I'm still doing my daily exercise but feeling kinda draggy, wondering if it's the Femara I started a week ago. We went to a Brewer's game yesterday with some old friends, tailgated beforehand... DH made his famous grilled chicken and they brought salad and grilled veggies all grown from their garden, yum. Hardest was staying out of the sun but it was so pleasant even tho the Brewers lost.
Rebecca I mourn those lost blackberries with you but you made real tomato sauce! That is still sounding delicious. Sounds like a great weekend.
Viddie I hope you turn the corner soon on this healing process. Like Caya I want to know how you like the way they look. Everything seems to take so long, doesn't it? Much sympathy.
Caya, when my youngest left for college, every night I used to literally kiss my boys' picture, my fave from when they were 5 and 7 and dressed in their soccer uniforms. I probably did that for a few months but finally it wore off. I still have an Arlo and Janis cartoon I clipped years ago where he asks what they will do when the kids have left home, and she thinks a minute then says,
"Same thing we did before we had them...drink beer and listen to the Doobies." I thought that was so funny.
Nancy you're right that bc brings about changes of attitude, at least it has in me. I really think I'm better at not sweating the small stuff. BTW I had 2 lymph nodes removed, did not wear a compression sleeve on my 3-hour flight to Tampa and had no swelling at all. It was the OTHER hand that they broke the vein in trying to jab me for the MRI that swelled up and stayed that way for a week!
Guess I'll check in on the chat...glad we all made it thru the holiday!- Skye

I kind of feel sorry for Olivia. Talk about learned behavior. She may be trying to get beyond her parents' craziness to truly be friends with your girl but she'll suck your daughter into more trouble with the sneakiness.

Yep, breath two three four, out two three four....Sky's right, that really works when the tension starts to rise.

Cindy....thinking that a mother's work is never done!!!

Oh Ugh Tina...what a drag. Either olivia is pulling Jac's chain, or her parents are imposing their will on her. In any case I still think it best to steer clear! DO NOT contact that awful mom under any circumstances. If her kid is defying her it is not your problem. Next time, just do not pass the message on to Jaclyn. Of course who can tell what will happen on the schoolyard....... Hang in there, it will blow over. Do not let it stress you out it is so not worth it. For what it is worth Frances and Ana are allowed to play with Jaclyn....now we just have to work out how to get them together

I wrote a big long post in Word this morning, and then lost it before I could post it. I couldn't even face doing it over, so just walked away. I'll try an abbreviated version now - I always say too many words anyway.

First of all, I would like to introduce you all to Harrison , my new dog. He is adjusting marvelously, and we are totally in love with him. At the moment he is snoring beside me on the bed - he doesn't jump on the bed himself, but dh picked him up and put him here, and he has never been so relaxed. We all took a nap together. We had a session with a pet psychic this weekend, and she gave us some good insight into working with him and making him feel more comfortable. It was very interesting.

Ok, Tina, I can't ignore your issue, which is a heartbreaking one. I urge you to follow Jen's advice, and not give these creeps the power to make you miserable. What I can't get my mind around is, what do these people think they're teaching their kids? That every time somebody says anything to them Mommy and Daddy will come and remove that person from their circle? Now THAT's preparing them for real life! I'm just sorry thath it has upset you and Jaclyn so much. Hugs.

I'll weigh in on the lymphedema question. I had I think 17 nodes removed, have no signs of lymphedema at all, but did go down to the main campus at M. D. Anderson for a lymphedema consult, just because it was offered. They gave me a sleeve, told me to wear it while flying, and when exercising if I was going to be overusing my arm. So Melia, I think you should probably at least have one. I can't imagine how awful it would be to have lymphedema, but definitely don't want to go there.

Rebecca, sorry you didn't get the blackberries - I was hoping for some "real jelly" for Owen. I've also been looking for some in the stores for me, some that looks homemade.

Viddie, hope you're feeling better, and to answer your question, Joyce didn't have the scabbing and bleeding issues, just the hypersensitivity. But it's only been three weeks, right? You'll get past it. Everyone is different.

Nothing much new here. I'm too tired to do anything. Have plans to go to a three day seminar on living with cancer at the end of the week, at M. D. Anderson, which should be interesting. I just have to figure out how to get my radiation in, since it's 25 miles each way. I have nothing to wear to something like that, that doesn't show red, blue and green magic markier all over my chest.

Hugs to all. Darn, I just realized I forgot chat - thought it was Monday!