Oklahoma in August

It's So Hot That...

-The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
-The trees are whistling for the dogs.
-The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
-Hot water now comes out of both taps.
-You can make sun tea instantly.
-You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
-The temperature drops below 95 F (35 C) and you feel a little chilly.
-You discover that it only takes two fingers to steer your car.
-You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
-You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
-You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
-Your biggest fear if you have a wreck is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"?
-You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
-The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper and of course sour cream, diced onions and a few serving spoons of chile.
-Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.