June 2007 Chemo

Denise , tamoxifen is pill form and I will have to take it for five years. Yes , I too would feel more normal if I had my hair. And others would talk to me normal instead of like "the poor thing is dying" when they see my scarf!
Dawn , I too lost most of my brows and lashes about the third week after my last chemo tx. I was so excited that they hadn't fallen out. Then they did! Does our lashes and brows grow back? I know some women that over pluck and they are very thin now. Shrink , good luck tomorrow at the BS. I will say some prayers for you and sending positive energy your way. Hugs ,Mel

Time for celebration!!! I am DONE, DONE, DONE!!!!!! My chemo nurse team had a party for me today! They had cake, and presents! I felt so damn special, like I count in this world... We should always feel this way. Sure, the next few days, I will feel like crap... but.. I am done!

My prayers, good wishes, and carma are all out for you today!

We will get through this...

Terri

Just returned from the BS who seemed pleased with my response to 4 AC treatments - tumor shrank to about half the 6 cm size it was originally. He wanted me to continue now with 4 Taxol rather than operating at this time since he thinks the tumor can shrink some more with the Taxol. I'll be having surgery in November it looks like. I asked about my survival expectations and he said somewhere less than 50% over ten years due to lymph node involvement and the original size of the tumor. That didn't please me too much but a lot can happen in 10 years research-wise and I could be one of the 47% or so who do survive. Also, I am ER positive so I'll be treated with estrogen inhibitors for several years after radiation. We discussed removing one breast or two and said it would be up to me but that an MRI would tell us more if anything is happening in the "good" breast. That blister I have on my chest didn't seem to be anything to worry about. You know how it is. Anything can cause concern when you have bc. I am breathing a little easier now knowing that things haven't gotten worse.

Hi ladies, I am so behind, Terri, congratulations on being done! Wow, I have one more taxotere and I'd just rather not but I'll go.
I've been so down with this chemo that I hardly get online anymore so haven't kept up with everyone. Alot of dizziness keeps me from being active.
Also I spent a week in the hospital with congestive heart failure so have had two diseases to juggle but it will get better.
I had genetic testing a couple of months ago and was positive for the BRCA 1, so were both of my daughters.

Hang in there everyone,

Pam - I'm so glad you checked in! ONE treatment left - AWESOME! I know this is AGAIN, but you can do this - you are very strong and you have wonderful family support. Hugs and prayers to you.

Everyone - have a wonderful "last weekend of summer"! We are going camping (packing the trailer now!) after my 2nd taxol/herceptin infusion tomorrow (I can sleep in the truck!) and won't be back till Monday.

Dawn

Hi Everybody,
My last post got lost somehow but I'll try again. Thanks for the encouragement, Bonnie and Terry. I got through the first Taxol just fine. I'm on day 4 and everything's achy (no hugs please) but not that much worse than the neulasta, so far. My brain is clearer and I woke up hungry for the first time in two months the day after treatment. I guess the chemo diet is over.

It's so exciting that some like Terri are finishing up. I think I am just now realizing that it won't last forever. I am 5/8's through with chemo and I know that Taxol and rads and hormone therapy aren't going to be great fun, but I really felt strange doing AC, somehow mentally not me--if that makes sense.

Gracie, I'm in the 50%/50% for 5 years with my 13+ lymph nodes. I have recently decided I have to be in the 50% that makes it. I have 3 children still at home and the youngest is only 9. I've got to be there for her. This has been a big change for me and it just occurred this week. A friend (a 10 yr. survivor who had 8+ nodes and unclear margins) called me on it. She said you think you might die from this, don't you. And I had to answer yes. She told me I have to decide to make it. I have to tell myself over and over that I will survive, I will live a long and healthy life. It's not enough to say I won't die because angels don't hear the don't. Say I will live. Stop being scared and live.

It makes sense. I figured all of this out back in June after the masectomy, but you have to believe it and keep saying it. If it turns out I'm just lying to myself, that's OK too. I forgive myself in advance. I believe turning it around and thinking I WILL make will help me make it. I know it makes me feel better. I feel a lot better this week and more myself. Maybe it's the change to Taxol, but I think it's the change in my attitude. I hope this doesn't all sound too crazy and I hope some of you try it and like it too. It really seems to help.

Just say it--to yourself or out loud--just once or a million times a day--I WILL survive, I will live a long and healthy life.

Have a good weekend everybody. My oldest will be on the UGA football field for the first time spinning her flag and dancing (how I wish I could go) and then we're all heading to the lake to meet up with family from all over--Georgia, North Carolina, and California. It should be great.

Debbie M.

Well, everyone must be having a great holiday weekend! I have to say I have been as well. We are home, but it is nice to have three days. My energy level is low, but I am feeling pretty good otherwise. The 3rd Taxol was a week ago, so this week will be a good week. One thing I noticed this time was a lot more neuropathy in my feet and fingers; probably twice as bad as the first and second tx. I am going to ask my doctor if there is anything they can give me for that for my final Taxol. He told me last time that the neuropathy takes a few months to finally go away all together. That wasn't good news. It really bothers me if I am on my feet much at all. Has anyone else had this problem; sorry I can't remember if you already posted about it!

My appetite has returned as well as my taste for coffee which I am very much enjoying.

I was thinking this morning that the one thing I will miss is the 2 minute showers! So nice to not have hair or anything to worry about. However, I'm sure I will get over it!

Well, just thought I would pop in to say hello. Hope all is well with all of you ladies.

Debbie

I haven't had any mouth sores with Taxol. Hopefully you won't have to deal with that either. Nice you had such a good visit with your son.

Take care, Debbie

Good morning, ladies!
Hope everyone had a terrific weekend. I had a good time visiting my family and the weather couldn't have been more perfect.

Dawn, how was the camping trip?

GarnettAnn, I'm so glad your trip to CO was all you expected. What an honor for your son to be accepted into the AF academy! I think it's a great idea for the cadets to be adopted by sponser families...are each of them paired up or is this something they chose to do on a personal basis? I'm glad his sponser mom was there for him when he received your BC news.

DebbieM., how did your daughter do with her first performance? The family reunion at the lake sounds great.
I think you've got the right attitude, positive thinking works wonders. But, I'm realistic too and know we will have down days. I think that's allowable, or acceptable...not sure I'm explaining it well.

DebbieK, I too have noticed more tingling and numbness in my feet after my 2nd taxol...my fingers are tingly too, especially the tips of my thumbs and index fingers, very odd. oh, and they're peeling!!!
Good news about your taste preference for coffee. I so miss really enjoying my favorite foods and drinks. My mouth still feels like sandpaper most days.

I had my first mouth sore with Taxol, it was in the gum right behind my last molar. I was just very diligent about keeping that area clean and it has cleared up.

My area is doing the Making Strides for Breast Cancer Walk on 9/30 and I'm really thinking I want to participate. It's a bit over 3 miles long though and not sure I can finish. My husband's company has a team so maybe I can tag along with them but rest when I need to.

Good luck to those having tx this week, you're in my thoughts constantly. To those on their 'off' week, hope you feel well to enjoy the waning days of summer.

Hey Everyone!!

Camping was great - fairly relaxing and we saw deer!

My second Taxol/Herceptin tx went fine; sleeping through the night did not!! Nothing like staring at the walls for three hours trying not to wake DH!! Took an ativan the second night - much better.

Anyone having blurry vision? I have a call into my onc (see her Thursday anyway). Went to the grocery store yesterday afternoon (had to use those labor day coupons!LOL) and couldn't see the signs down the aisles. The street signs are looking blurry too! I know I have 3 kids that can drive me around (paybacks, don't ya know!) but I sure am hoping this is going away soon.

Gracie - the mosquitos didn't bother me at the campground - apparently they like me in my yard & on my deck!!

Debbie M - Sounds like you had a good attitude adjustment! hard to remember at times but so important!! Keep it up!


Bonnie - 2 down, 2 to go sounds a lot better than my 2 down, 10 to go since I'm weekly but it will all go fast!

Debbie - sorry to hear about the neuropathy but at least you can have coffee and enjoy it!!

Garnetann - sounds like you had a great visit with your son!! My eyes were extremely dry on A/C but since I've started the Taxol/herceptin they have improved a lot. Hopefully yours will too!

Linda - I've thought about those cart handles and all the germs - my local stores have started putting wipes by the doors - I don't usually see anyone using them though.

Wishing everyone a good week!!
Dawn

It is so good to hear from everyone! I try to always wipe down the cart handle with the wipes they have at the door. If they don't have wipes, I get out my hand sanitizer and smear some on. I figure we can't be too careful!

My weekend was pretty quiet too. I just seem to have very little stamina to get out and do things. I did go out and pull a few weeds, and I was worn out in no time. I am so looking forward to getting back to my old self again.

Thanks to all for writing. Debbie

Garnetann, Good luck with the taxol. I think you'll do great. I was so worried about it after all the things I read, but so far it's not too bad, much better than AC.

I think I'll go outside and ask my dog what she thinks. Have we gotten rid of all the cancer, or not. I wish dogs could talk. I had heard something about that study also and I think it's amazing. Maybe someday we can get rid of breast cancer for good. I am just thankful that we have made so much progress already and if these treatments work it will certainly all be worth it. Hang in there everybody. Hurray for the good weeks.

My daughter had a great time at the game and it was great to see all my siblings and their families at the lake. I think they were all relieved to see how "normal" I look. Actually, I look better than usual because I've lost weight and my wig hair is fuller than my real hair.

My dad was at the lake also. It's his 84th birthday today and he had a lung tumor taken out 3 weeks ago and is already walking half an hour a day. He had colon cancer and 3 heart attacks in the 1970's and he's still going strong. I just hope I got those tough old bird genes.

Debbie M.

Hello Everyone,

I have had a strange week; fevers three nights.  Never over 100 but weird and I have been feeling like I am under the weather all week but nothing really specific.  I finally called the onc. today, and he said it is not something to worry about unless it gets worse or the fever higher.  I really worry about my treatment on Monday when I haven't really felt like I bounced back from the last one.

How is everyone else?

Take care, Debbie 

DebbieM, I swear my dog knew I had cancer before anyone else did!  She followed me around the house for weeks before my dx, she hadn't done that since she was a puppy.   Now she's my constant companion when I'm feeling not-quite-right from chemo.  

DebbieK, hope you're on the mend this weekend, it would be horrible if you have to postpone your last tx!!   I am having to delay my last one by two days and I'm not a happy camper. 

Garnettann, hope the gel wraps work for your wig.  Mine is still sitting unused in the closet, baseball caps have been my head cover of choice this summer.     Did you start Taxol yet?

I feel so good this week, really, really good.   It's going to make it much more difficult walking into that infusion room on Monday.  

Hope everyone is doing well! 

Terry

Thanks for the hugs, Terry. My SO was with me and that helped but everytime someone came over to me (the social worker and the nurses), and said something kind, I started to cry.  Guess it's just one of those days.  On the way to the cancer center, my SO, got all upset about traffic and lousy drivers. He goes nuts when the Phillies or the Eagles lose. I kept thinking, how can you be  so upset by traffic and sports results?  It's not cancer after all,  But I keep my mouth shut because he's so good about everything else.

Hope everyone is doing OK.