Crazy Sexy Cancer

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  • Paulette531
    Paulette531 Member Posts: 738
    edited August 2007
    I swear to God, (at least I am no longer swearing at God), this is the best thing I have read concerning BC!

    This is my fourth year out (11/03) and so far so good but I have six tests coming up next week and I have been feeling like crap. We'll see.

    I honestly believe and I don't care what anyone says, the after affects of chemo therapy are a life long gift (said sarcastically). I know how I felt before and I know how I felt after the poison and I know how I feel now and I am sick of my onc saying it's all in my head. Just like when Femara kicked my ass and she constantly said "well I have other patients on it and they aren't having the same problems as you" uh huh, the last time I saw her she told me how she was not giving Femara any longer because of the side affects and doctors all over the country are finally admitting it. Uh huh! My response to her was..."but doc, I told you about that right away and you kept me on it for two years claiming all your other patients weren't having those problems" uh huh!

    Love chemo brain, today I literally could not find my freakin car in the store parking lot, it was only 100 degrees outside, and really I was scaring myself. When I finally found it, I could NOT remember parking it where it was. That is some scary sh..!

    Anyway, enough, I LOVE the blog and am giving my onc a copy. Thanks!
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  • Valsul
    Valsul Member Posts: 160
    edited August 2007
    Here's a poem written by a friend of mine. She had ovarian cancer in 2000 and was given just 6 weeks to live. She is still with us, but her sentiments here speak for me and perhaps a few others can identify.

    Message to the Well-Meaning

    By Gill McEvoy

    It’s not “being positive”
    That gets you through. No

    It’s something grittier – sharp, capable of hurt;
    It would have you grabbing the very last crumb
    From under your best friend’s nose.
    It’s savage, stubborn, it’s made of steel;
    If you were in business the whole world
    Would hate your guts. So

    The next person to come along and say
    Think positive and all that sort of crap
    Will get it right between the eyes.
    For I am a hard woman now.
    I am diamond, carborundum,
    And I wipe out fools.
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  • biondi
    biondi Member Posts: 223
    edited August 2007
    I LOVE THIS POEM. I HAVE HEARD IT ALL TOO.
    - YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO BE GREATFUL FOR..
    - YOU PROBABLY WON'T MISS THEM (BOOBS) MUCH,CAUSE THEY WERE SMALL ANYWAY.
    - AND THE BEST ONE, "YOU HAVE NO TITS? YOU SHOULD BECOME A LESBIAN THEN, BECAUSE MEN LIKE WOMEN WITH TITS! THATS WHAT I WOULD DO, IF I DIDN'T HAVE ANY!

    JUST A FEW ENCOURAGING WORDS FROM FOOLS I KNOW..
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2007
    Valerie....I love the poem too and have never heard it expressed so well...that raw, hard, savage determination, that sharp steel that gets us through! Yes, that's IT....!

    ~Marin
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  • Valsul
    Valsul Member Posts: 160
    edited August 2007
    And today I have just had a visit from my HR department about some forms which have gone astray. I am worried that they have gone astray because of my chemo brain, even though the experts say there is no such thing.

    Today I am not diamond, nor am I made of steel. today I am a wuss of the first water, weepy and trying not to see my manager about how I want to leave work.

    I hate this thing - crazy? yes. Sexy? never!
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  • Toronto
    Toronto Member Posts: 118
    edited August 2007

    That is one powerful poem.

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  • Paulette531
    Paulette531 Member Posts: 738
    edited August 2007

    That poem is awesome!

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  • ddd
    ddd Member Posts: 82
    edited August 2007
    I love that Message to the Well-Meaning. I am going to print it out right now. I find myself feeling guilty that I feel so "hard" and "mean". And then fear that feeling so, will certainly jinx me and something horrible will happen again. Glad to see others feel the same and glad to
    be reminded that there is nothing wrong with feeling how you feel. Maybe one day I will pass this stage, but for now I am "hard, hard hard"!

    ddd
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2007
    Survivors are tough...and hard. That's what makes them survivors.

    ~Marin
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  • Valsul
    Valsul Member Posts: 160
    edited August 2007

    Even when we are wusses we are HARD wusses! Yay!

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  • rockysmom
    rockysmom Member Posts: 203
    edited August 2007
    Thank you for posting this! Oh how I wish I could pass it along to friends , family, and co-workers. Even though I "only" was stage 1, and "only" had a lumpectomy and six nodes removed, my life is no longer what it used to be.
    Femara? I thought I was doing well on it, but come month three- WHAM- is there such a thing as "Femara brain" like there is chemo-brain ? I sure feel like it.
    And to top it off, I had my first physical therapy session this week for truncal lymphedema....yep, another life long thing to learn to "handle". Wasn't encouraging that the therapist said I needed new coping mechanisms. DUH, yeah, I don't think burying my head under the blankets and eating everything in sight are the best coping mechanisms......hopefully my visit with a Psych-oncologist will help me with that.grrrrrr (next week)
    I am planning on watching the show tonight, but right now, I can't imagine ever calling cancer "sexy".
    I'll have to read more of that blog too, maybe it'll help me laugh, cry, and get it out!

    Sorry to sound like a pity party here, but I've been "fine" for as long as I can stand it and now I need to let it out somewhere....this feels like a safe place to do that.
    thanks! sigh
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  • Valsul
    Valsul Member Posts: 160
    edited August 2007
    Quote:

    DUH, yeah, I don't think burying my head under the blankets and eating everything in sight are the best coping mechanisms......



    Sounds like a plan to me
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  • biondi
    biondi Member Posts: 223
    edited August 2007

    this poem sounds a little like me. .I'v been saying at work these last few months, when teased by macho men i work with (in security) about my size, cause i did loose a few lbs.. i say " WATCH OUT, I'M 5'3, WEIGH 93, AND I'M BULLET PROOF!! LOL. they aren't aware of my b/c. yep, watch out for a lady who has had her titties cut off, has no estrogen, and carries a gun!!

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  • SandyInNJ63
    SandyInNJ63 Member Posts: 104
    edited August 2007
    Quote:


    I am planning on watching the show tonight, but right now, I can't imagine ever calling cancer "sexy".




    My husband was a bit confused over the title too, said what is 'sexy' about cancer? I watched the show and it was good, but how can someone eat like that for the rest of their life. I couldn't, and I couldn't do most of the things she tried.
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  • nosurrender
    nosurrender Member Posts: 2,019
    edited August 2007
    I missed the "sexy" memo too.
    I liked the show. But my bias took over when the girl with BC had the LE wrapping. I know the other women were going through a lot and she detailed a lot of those details, I was really hoping she would have explained to the audience what that wrapping was. That woman had a pretty good case of LE too.
    I wonder how the woman who is on the Gleevec will do going off it and getting pregnant?
    Loved the poem above. Thanks.
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2007
    I loved the documentary and I love Kris! She is one funny, talented, strong chick! The 'sexy' part, to me, is a proclamation that having cancer doesn't take away your essence and, as you live with the disease, you still LIVE and that includes continuing to be a sexual being. At least that's my take on her message....
    Yeah, I hear ya about her diet, Sandy! Geez, I consider myself the paragon of good nutrition just for eating as organic as possible. That much effort to prepare macrobiotics or raw food, to me, would take away from my effort to fully embrace my life. But to each her own, right? It sure seems to have made her happy! I really loved watching her yoga practice. Though I'm not a yogi myself, I respect what it does for its practitioners.

    I'll be keeping up with Kris and her journey now....very inspiring!

    ~Marin

    PS You can follow Erin's journey (the girl on Gleevec who plans to get pregnant) in Glamour magazine...she writes pretty regularly about it there.
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  • wakebrat7
    wakebrat7 Member Posts: 31
    edited August 2007
    I loved the documentary. It was wonderful. It was a little hard to watch at times though because I would be bawling because I could totally relate. I laughed, I cried, I just though the whole thing was great and the ending was the best part -- she got married. What a beautiful story.

    Lillie
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  • sharon56
    sharon56 Member Posts: 220
    edited August 2007
    I am from the Jan 2007 chemo gals and I watched the show last night with my two teenage daughters .
    She touched on all of our nerves , and we loved the *&^%cancer cap .
    As for getting on with life after treatment , yes the chemo brain , joint and muscle pain , dizzyness , sinus crap
    WTF it was not there BC "before cancer " We all got hit with a 2 x 4 .
    Are we demented ? Are we crazy ? NO !!!!!
    Get an ONC to do chemo and see how they like it .......
    Glad to see I am not the only one wondering where the heck my body went for the last year .
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2007
    The link to purchase a similar cap or a T-shirt with the same sentiment seems appropriate here:

    http://www.cafepress.com/buy/cancer/-/pv...pt_/fpt_/c_666/

    Thong anyone?

    ~Marin
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2007
    I also like some of these:

    http://www.cafepress.com/americanangst/1239676
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  • Stack
    Stack Member Posts: 157
    edited August 2007

    i watched it also, but by the end of the show my stomach felt twisted up. i dont really now why but i think just knowing that i could be faced with that type of life if my cancer ever came back, and the what ifs. what if chemo or rads wouldnt work, ect.. those type of things must have been floating in my head. i am glad it is all going well for kris, but i wish i hadnt watched it. its strange cuz that type of stuff doesnt usually affect me.

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  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 2,710
    edited March 2008
    I enjoyed the show for the most part.
    It's hard b/c of her rare form of cancer, chemo really wouldn't have been a huge benefit to her.
    HOWEVER, I would hate for a young woman to be watching the program and to think, she can ditch conventional therapy for a macrobiotic diet, to keep a tumor under control.

    I really enjoyed her f*ck cancer hat. I wore one proudly into my first chemo tx, and the Dr's and nurses thought it was hilarious.
    That was the beginning of my hilarious cancer stuff.
    other favorites include my thong panties that said, I'm not just bald up there.
    or my shirt that said, team survivor on the front, and on the back said, my onc is better than yours.
    tee hee
    I think it would be great if this show turned into a series documenting the lives of various crazy sexy cancer patients all over the globe.
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2007
    Here's her comment on the Sexy part:

    Some skeptics have asked “what’s so sexy about cancer lady?” My response: the women who have it! We are crazy, sexy, whole, loving, surviving, delicious women, so get out of our way!
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  • christineK
    christineK Member Posts: 1,265
    edited August 2007
    At my last RFTC, I saw a really cute bald girl wearing a shirt from savethetatas.com it read:
    Cancer can take my tatas, but it can't take my sexy.
    I loved that and took her picture.
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  • sahalie
    sahalie Member Posts: 2,147
    edited September 2008
    I watched the show and am so glad I did. I almost missed it and did miss the very beginning. I

    It made me want to run out to the closest Juice Shack and get my usual hit of wheat grass with slice of orange chaser.

    I hope she does a follow up show. Has anyone read her book? Is it any good?
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  • nycmom
    nycmom Member Posts: 61
    edited August 2007

    I was wondering what everyone thought. I mostly liked it. I also didn't get the sexy word. I loved the woman who was a 10 yr survivor of breast cancer. I missed the last 10 mins. What did I miss? Was this a one-shot or a series? Thanks.

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  • nycmom
    nycmom Member Posts: 61
    edited August 2007

    PS the woman who was on gleevec is so pregnant she might have actually had the kid already

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  • Member_of_the_Club
    Member_of_the_Club Member Posts: 3,646
    edited August 2007
    I only watched 20 minutes, because too much cancer is too much for me, but I enjoyed what I watched. She was tough and strong and still cried and it all seemed very real to me.

    I have read about the gleevac woman elsewhere and she did have the baby, all is well. I am afraid to ask, but in thr portion I watched her sister with Hodgkins was going off for a bone marrow transplant. Did she survive? The scene where she said goodbye to her son was absolutely heartbreaking and the reason I turned the show off, I didn't want to see her die.
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  • LuAnnH
    LuAnnH Member Posts: 8,847
    edited August 2007
    In the book she said explains the title, here is the excerpt from her book:

    "....Cancer connected me to women I would never have met otherise: women who undertood me in a way that on one else could. Some of them even let me film their stories for my documentary, which I named Crazy Sexy Cancer. The name concerned some people at first. Was I being flip, disrespectful, inappropriate? No. I still had a sense of humor, which I wasn't going to amputate just because there suddely was this really serious thing in my life. I didn't want to lose myself. I was still crazy, sexy (sometimes), curious, silly and struggling. Poiking fun at cancer helped me cope with it."

    LuAnn
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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited August 2007
    I stayed up to see the repeat since I missed the first show. Glad I did. I loved the flirting and wedding. I gagged at the diets! I cried at the red headed sisters. I cried with the others, too.
    Such strong families and such a strong single woman on her own with her dog. Oh, how my heart goes out to her. I think of my daughter on her own, and am crying now. Heaven forbid anything happen to her.
    Loved the hat!
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