Starting Chemo in May 07

Hi, everyone! I just had my last Taxol on Wed. of this past week, also! So nice to be done, but still dealing with the neuropathy and bone aches.

Lizy - I had bilat mast in April. I hadn't seen the onc soon enough or else he would have had me do the A/C before surgery then Taxol, like you. But it was scheduled for 2 days later, so... I had skin-sparing masts with tissue expanders. Skin-sparing means they save as much skin as possible which makes your new breasts (with implants) seem more like yours! The tissue ex caused some pain, but I really think they are the way to go. Now I'm doing my expansions...one a week for about 6 weeks. The rad doc said you can wait up to 16 weeks after chemo before starting radiation, so I have plenty of time. I do plan on starting rads in mid-Oct through Nov. Usual treatment is 33, I think. Also, I had sentinel node biopsies...they took 2 neg. nodes on rt. and 7 neg. nodes on left. I never had any trouble moving my arm. I had almost full movement right from the beginning. The less nodes the better.

We'll all be thinking of you next week...you'll do fine.

Congrats to all of you who are now finished with chemo! My husband and I also shared a bottle of champagne! (Even though it didn't taste too good!) Looking forward to continuing our saga through rads and reconstruction!

Lorain

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Amy
My other one was the onc from Hell, I have seen her only 2 times since I started chemo 5 weeks ago. (Yes, that also means no blood test this cycles, not even WBC, as she felt checking WBC... not important... until I go for tx #3. Oh if I developed a fever then I should call her. She also refused to answer any questions, including why she changed my tx from 3 to 6, or why I am having severe chest pains...understand why I changed?

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Jean - I am SO GLAD you switched oncs, that sounds like a terrible experience - WTH???? Oh my, so sory you had to go through that.

Jean, I totally agree with Amya--I'm glad you had the wherewithal to change oncs in the middle of treatment. That's hideous! For such an important doctor, you REALLY want to feel like they're your advocate, you know? So good for you! Yes, I have a pump for anti-nausea meds after each chemo. See, my first 2 tx's I couldn't stop throwing up, even WITH Emend, IV anti-nausea, decadron, ativan and compazine, and had to go to the ER both times. So after for the 3rd tx we added the pump, I take Marinol (synthetic marijuana) IV fluids for the 3 days following chemo, and kept Emend. For as long as I'm on the Marinol I'm a complete zombie and feel HORRIFIC, but it keeps me from throwing up. My onc says I'm his worst case for nausea/vomiting in a very LOOOOOOONG time. What a distinction!! But I can't tell you how GLAD I am to have had my last tx!! WAHOO!!! Even if I still feel like crud and could do almost NOTHING today but lie in bed, I know it can only go up from here.

Mandy, I'm not getting any taxanes (since I'm a violinist they didn't want to risk the neuropathy with me) but I still get plenty of Decadron! I know a lot of people like the energy it gives, but I find it annoying and feel sort of jittery on it. My onc even said I didn't have to take any orally this time, since I'm getting that in my pump also.

Not too much else to report here. Time to get horizontal again--when I sit up for too long I get kind of lightheaded and nauseated again. Oh yeah, I noticed in my post about rads that I said my appt. with that dr. would be Tuesday. See, I WAS out of it!! It's not til Friday. Virginia, thanks for reassuring me that rads is easier than chemo!!

Amy

I haven't cried much at all since the first few weeks after my diagnosis in April. Then all of a sudden, the last two nights, I cry over nothing and once I get started I just can't stop. I really didn't think I was nervous about the surgery, but there's something going on with my emotions that I don't seem to have control of. It may be denial, or it may be chemo-pause, but I think it's my subconscious trying to work things out. I know you all probably understand better than I do.

OK. Rant is done. Time to go accomplish something positive before the day is over!

Liz, I'll bet the surgery is more on your mind than you realize. I have a minor procedure on the 20th of September and it wasn't even on my radar during chemo - but now that that's done, I'm starting to think "holy cow - I have to be put out and cut into again..." and this is nothing in comparison to your procedure. I'm not saying that to make you worry about YOUR procedure - I really do believe all will be fine for you but I guess the point is - it's the next step and now it's time to start to deal with the emotions that the next step brings. Also, your body has been through hell and the hormones are probably playing a part too. Plus - this whole thing is so very scary and I find, somnetimes quite surreal. I can't believe that I am "tainted" now. I will always be a person who had cancer (hopefully heavy on the "had") and I am different from everyone else now - that sucks! When it really sinks in - it's a real mind****! Finally, you must be feeling some grief over your upcoming surgery. Whatever the reason, please know that I am sending you cyber hugs and understanding/empathy and wishes for a good evening and tomorrow being a better day.

Take care,
Mandy

Hope everyone else is doing well too. Amy - when do you ge the pump removed? What a happy day that will be huh?

(((((((Liz))))))))

We've all had those days when the tears won't stop. This whole thing IS so hard, and just when you think you have a handle on one issue, something else comes up. Just let it out.

It is so true. The only way out of this is through it.

Hugs,
LeeAnne

Thanks everyone. This really helps to talk about and hear all of your advice.

Amy, isn't it nice to have this group to visit at o'dark thirty when insomnia hits for whatever reason.

(at 5:00 am after being woken by night sweats--for the second time tonight)

hello everyone!


Glad to hear you're doing okay Liz - we are here for you!
Amy - how are you doing (besides awake at crazy hours of the night!)
LeeAnne - how are you doing?

To everyone else - have a wonderful day!!!
Mandy

I'm hanging in there, thanks for asking Mandy. Darvocet is doing a good job with my Taxol pain although I don't take it as often as I could. I've had houseguests since last Wednesday and they are all leaving tomorrow a.m. so it will be quiet. Hopefully I won't get too sad.

Today was better than yesterday though, so we're on the mend, slowly but surely.

LeeAnne

It is quiet in my house today after everyone left but I'm okay. Gives me a chance to reflect and to hear God's voice. Which by the way said today "told you you'd get through chemo." An old friend is bringing Popeye's chicken and a biscuit over for dinner (yum!) and I have friends lined up to visit every day this week. This recovery is really going to take some time as I can barely be upright for longer than 5 minutes yet!

My other big amusement: IMing with this potential date man I mentioned. Fills the time here in Couch World.

And yes Amy and all, each day is a little better than the one before. Yeah!

Liz, tomorrow is surgery day, right? I am thinking about you and sending you calming thoughts!

LeeAnne

best wishes Liz!!!

LeeAnne, Amy, et al - everyone who's done with chemo - I'm now 19 days out, just had 7 "good" days in a row, totally overdid it even with naps, and thank goodness a close-but-long-lost friend showed up out of the blue and decided to stay and take care of me. She cooked dinner tonight, did all the dishes, so that I can go to work and drs appts (acupuncture, an appt to talk to the port surgeon) and make it through my days....

So my long-winded point is, don't forget to ask for help after chemo!! here i was reclaiming my independence and crashing with the ongoing morphine w/d issues... So, not as strong as I thought by far. So just be forewarned.

Love to you all,
Amanda

Amanda, thanks for the warning. I can only imagine how easy it is going to be to push it too much when I'm feeling better. And then I'll be back to horizontal. No risk of it yet though. I'm planning on dwelling full time in couch world until Friday, for sure.

Yeah for your friend showing up to care for you!

And Liz, we'll all be waiting to hear from you. When are you scheduled to come home from the hospital? You're in my prayers!

LeeAnne

Hey ladies,

I haven't been on in a few days...I've actually been doing some stuff! I got out of the house! I guess I can't use chemo as an excuse anymore!! YEA!!

I woke up this morning thinking about Liz. I'm sure she's feeling pretty crappy right now.

Amy,
I can't remember how I got to season 2 on the ABC website......damn chemo brain! There is another website called graboid.com where I hear you can watch old episodes but I never tried it.
You can definetely get the older seasons at Blockbuster or Netflix. Sorry, I jumped onto the website and tried to find it but couldn't and I've got to leave to go help my niece paint her new apartment. I'll try again later.

Virginia,
I hear you on the hotflashes. I didn't have them before either and they SUCK!! I wake up sometimes 5 or 6 times a night with them. Some other girls on here were talking about "chillow pillow" but I never checked it out. I'm just suffering through with a huge fan on the floor. Good luck girl. I know it's awful.

I thought I put a picture on here but, I guess it didn't work. I'll try again cuz it's cool being able to put a face with a name.

Hope you are all having a great day!
Hugs, Traci

Last chance to check in with you girls. I'm getting ready to go to the hospital. Thanks for all the good thoughts! I'll be out tomorrow afternoon if all goes well. Friday if I need an extra day. I already have an appointment to go see PS on Friday to get the bandage taken off and replaced with a sports bra. I'll bet it'll be red and lacy. Maybe the Very Sexy Victoria's Secret model? Whatcha think?

Have a great few days and feel better everyone. I'll be back asap.