Masectomy one liners??

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jan3
jan3 Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Humor and Games

I can only imagine how difficult it would be to have a masectomy and how hard it is for a woman to lose such a large part of who she is, but I was wondering if anyone knew of any funny one liners about how great it would be to only have one breast?? My mom is going in for surgery and I wanted to make her a funny card.

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited August 2007

    From now on I have to be careful or I'll go around the world to the left (or right if that's the one staying on) (due to more weight on that side) LOL

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  • robyn42
    robyn42 Member Posts: 43
    edited August 2007
    Hey Jan,
    I've recently been diagnosed and will be undergoing a uni-mastectomy sometime soon. I guess the way I joke about it is like this.... I've often referred to my breasts as "the girls". Like..."the girls aren't quite as perky as they were when they were younger" etc. So now I'm telling my friends that I'm getting rid of one of the girls, but will be adopting another (as I'm going to have immediate reconstruction).

    Some may think I'm weird...but it helps me to cope with all of this if I can laugh a little bit too! Wish me luck...
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  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Member Posts: 6
    edited August 2007

    I can still work at Hooters, but only on the left side of the bar.

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  • CCnNC
    CCnNC Member Posts: 8
    edited August 2007

    My sister-in-law invited her friends over for a "Boob Voyage" party. Things got pretty crazy but it sure helped get her through the whole ordeal. Whatever it takes.

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  • sharebear
    sharebear Member Posts: 332
    edited August 2007

    I had tram flap reconstruction. So technically, my friend told me I can now go topless cuz I no longer have breasts I have stomach muscles!

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  • tam1953
    tam1953 Member Posts: 237
    edited August 2007

    Somewhere on here was a comment from a woman who had a TRAM saying she rubbed her breasts when she got hungry. I've thought of that numerous times since my own TRAM.

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  • AlaskaDeb
    AlaskaDeb Member Posts: 2,601
    edited August 2007

    I had a bilateral mastectomy and wear breast forms now. I made my self a button that says “Yep, they’re fake, my real ones tried to kill me”.

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  • san14
    san14 Member Posts: 21
    edited September 2007

    One of my girlfriends called herself a "one boob wonder"...there are t-shirts out there with 2 stategically placed baseballs that say "Save 2nd base"...others that say "save the ta-tas"

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  • dst
    dst Member Posts: 16
    edited September 2007

    I call myselg the bionic woman.  After bilateral mast, immediate recon and 6 cycles of chemo I am surgically enhanced and chemically altered.

     When I finished my chemo and was just starting to see the return of white goose-down on top, my son suggested that I dress up like a q-tip on halloween.  I did and even the little kids got it.  If you laugh at yourself, people are less likely to treat you with pitty and want to be near you.

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  • zap
    zap Member Posts: 2,017
    edited September 2007

    I heard of a woman who had her left breast removed because of BC.  She designed a t-shirt and with a a circle over her right breast within which she had written, "the last cha cha"

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  • playwriter
    playwriter Member Posts: 316
    edited September 2007

    y'all, cafepress.com has some funny tshirts for mastectomy gals, such as "fake/real real/fake: you decide"

    they also have tshirts that say

    "Heck, yeah, these are fake. the real ones tried to kill me." "pardon our appearance. we are under reconstruction"

    "no, they're not real, but they're still spectacular"

    enter "mastectomy" in the search field. there are more if you enter "breast cancer" -- about 13,000!

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  • Helen1
    Helen1 Member Posts: 209
    edited September 2007

    I had a single mastectomy.  I found myself raising my fist in the air and proclaiming   "UNIBOOBIES OF THE WORLD UNITE!!!" 

    Then I told people that my prosthesis was my gay fake boob named George.  George went to work w/ me everyday.  He gave me many invaluable suggestions, but he couldn't type worth a darn.  I eventually fired him.

    The best to you and your mom, jan

    Helen

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  • sabrina98
    sabrina98 Member Posts: 1
    edited September 2007

    I forgot how to laugh, thanks for reminding me!

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