Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

My gosh - I leave for a couple hours for lunch and radiation, and things finally start to happen! Poor Caya, I know you must be a wreck, but at least it seems you wll finally get what you want and need, which is the MRI. If you push hard enough for it, I don't think, under these circumstances, that they are going to stand in your way. I have read your report over several times, looking for clues, but this is a typical CYA type report in my opinion. Not in a negative way, but basically he is saying he sees something, doesn't know what it is, looks like cysts. All the big word mumbo jumbo is just that. Because the nodularities were there before but are bigger now, and because they look like cysts, the ultrasound is the way to go, because cysts are really easy to diagnose with ultrasound, and that can ease your mind on the spot instead of waiting around for someone to dictate, etc. You still need the MRI it sounds like to me, so keep pushing, but if the US shows cysts that will take the urgency out of it. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but it sounds like you are doing all the right things as far as paging them, calling them, keeping after it until you get some action. I'm proud of you - YAY CAYA!! And big (((((HUGS))))) too, because I know this is difficult.

I'm still perusing the postings...
Rebecca, you look great, your hair is so much like mine. Yes I should have rubbed that young girl's head back, she had very long hair though so I would have gotten it tangled probably. I doubt she remembered the next day.
Viddie, so glad you are past the worst of your postsurgery time. And that it came out lovely and with great perkiness.
Lynn, it seems like a milestone to me that you are able to start back full time. Does it feel like you have your life back?
Sharon, I LOVE Janis Joplin. All you need is that "dirty red bandanna." Excellent pics.
Robbin, hooray on the clear path report, and the motorcycle hunk. Also nice pics!
Jan, loved the story about your daughter's first day at school being the best day of her life. Wonderful things must have happened.
Mizsissy, keep enjoying that vacation. The "art hand" will come back.
Mel, how could that furniture store screw up so badly? Although now that I think of it, that happened to me once too. I had a leather one coming and they delivered a microsuede. They did take it back on the truck.
Tina, my hair is super straight too but it lies down smooth like an otter's except for a few cowlicks. I've tried gelling it up but it doesn't stay. The 21-year old drunk girl kept saying, "It's so sooooft!" I do hope I get to snorkel in that nice lagoon you mention. Wading out sounds much better than jumping into deep ocean water.
Debbie, your new bandanna sounds adorable. The hair will come, trust us!
Oh, and I made a promise to our cruise cabin steward that I would send a greeting from him to all my friends reading thus: "Greetings from Leslie, the spiritual boy from India." So there it is. :-) - Skye

Viddie and Rebecca, glad to hear you are progressing well. Caya, I'll keep you in my prayers and you too Joni. Skye, glad you're home. That reminds me of almost drowning on my honeymoon - but that was scubadiving in Hawaii with no lessons! I'm glad it wasn't your time! Debbie and Mel, hang in there with radiation but be careful - you get very tired at the end. I finally feel my strength coming back. Miz - your pics are great. I'd love a little getaway like that. Rebecca, you look wonderful - so much better without the scarf!

I feel like I've been away from the posts for such a long time - just a few days. I was busy getting DS ready for college and then we had quite a few bad storms. We just dropped him off today to his new apt. What an improvement from the dorm! Balcony overlooking the swimming pool and basketball court. Each guy (4) has his own bedroom with desk, bed, walk-in closet and bathroom. There is a washer and dryer in the unit. It will cost me but it's worth it. I just hope he keeps focused on his studying. He's been a good kid so far and he seems real happy. Quite a few cute girls down the hall! Tomorrow I tackle cleaning the upstairs where he resided this summer! Hang in there all..hugsssss.

Erik had a phone message last night from his father...something about flooding in Pinckney. Lansing IS close to us. This is the news we woke to this AM!!!! Will call neighbors when it's a reasonable hour to find out what's going on!!!!

Mizsissy

hope that u missed the flooding mz , we have been watching all the weather stuff on the news . Here nada we have had some rain we have been so dry here .
Caya . Princess Margaret is the place to be , when you are down there you should get ALOT more attention than you are getting now , and girls PM has the best BC center in the world and all the best equipment . There were several ladies getting treatment there when i was at the PM lodge in TO . Caya when I went to Sunnybook I received ultimate treatment a hell of alot better than my local hosp. and onc . Do you have dense breasts ? fybrocystic ? I have advanced fybrocystic disease and have worried about getting "it" back and often wonder if i should have got a masectomy . Here we are back again waiting for results , for us I guess it may not end .......... THATS WHY U HAVE US HERE ! This stuff sucks .... hang in there and let us know how u make out .
I have to go for a colonoscopy in 2 weeks , its been a year in Sept since I first started to think that something was wrong down there too . yikes ....
skye great pic , i went swimming too on my vac , but ha no adonis to rescue me . I fell in the boat when climbing in my legs gave out on me (but i had fun in the water )
Hey theres a new show coming up on TLC next week its called "crazy sex cancer " and follows women in their cancer journey . Its on Wed nite at 9 , i am going to check it out .... see whats "sexy" about cancer ?????
http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/specials/crazy-sexy-cancer/crazy-sexy-cancer.html
heres the link
And Joni I am going to be an aunty in Feb next year my sister is preggers , she lives in Tuscarona in Calgary so when the baby is born I am planning on a trip to Calgary . Will definitly call on ya .... do you live near there in the NW part of the city ?
Well I gotta go and do my Sat chores .... Caya do not worry girl thinkin of ya

My DS is in East Lansing but I haven't heard of anything bad happening, luckily he's on the third floor. Here, lots of water but that's it. It really got dark as night when the storm blew in. The worst part was Fenton and Salem Twp. I didn't hear anything about Pinckney. Miz, hope your house is okay.

My DS lived on campus last year. We'll see how he likes the apartment life.

Ok off to Saturday chores! Have a good day! Skye, hope you feel better soon - lots of liquids!

Robbin, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I love my old kitties dearly, and dread the day that I have to make a decision like that. She was a beautiful cat - I hope Ziggy is not too unhappy without his sister. What was she sick with, or do you know?
(((((((HUGS))))))) Robbin. I'm going to go love on my kitty-boys now.

Mizsissy, your photos are beautiful. And Skye, you're looking great. Rebecca, your hair looks great, too.

I had a great trip to Colorado. No car troubles this time. Met up with festival friends from Utah who watched over me.

I got too hot on Friday out there. Temps in the mid-90s near Estes Park. I missed 3 of the performers, had to go back to my tent and rest. But I was fine the rest of the weekend and loved all the music.

AND I forgot to take my Tamoxifen. So I had to go to the local pharmacy. They called my pharmacy and got me enough pills to get me home. Bother! I think that was a subliminal attempt to run away from this!

Of course, once I got home it was right back to work on Tuesday and I've been going at full speed since. I can get through the day but I'm awfully tired at night still. One of these days I'll feel strong.

I've signed up for the Omaha Race for the Cure in October. Of course, I won't be racing anywhere but I'll walk. And be thankful that I can do that.

I haven't left the group. It's too important yet to connect with women who understand the stages of this recovery. I'm learning that it definitely is coming in stages.

While out in Colorado, I suffered withdrawal from my constant contact with my daughters. I couldn't get phone service at the festival site and it nearly caused a major anxiety attack that I went from Thursday to Monday without speaking with them. After their love and support since this started last October, it was obvious to me that I'd developed a codependency on them! I'll have to wean myself from them now so that don't feel overwhelmed by their needy mother!

Hope everyone has a good weekend. I had dinner with a friend and it was nice to catch up with her.

Time to find my PJs!

Cindy

Hi all...sorry about your cat, Robbin. She was gorgeous. Cindy, I read the other day that mixing a tamoxifen here/there isn't the end of the world. Also, taking it at varied times during the day is OK too...your body pretty much as a steady level of it at all times.

Had a semi annoying incident yesterday. Jaclyn went to a neighbors to play, at their invitation, and came home and said that the dad said to her: If you're going to come over here and scare my kids you are not welcome in this home! I was pissed. There's a history with this family. Two years ago, when Jac was 4 he knocked on our door and told the DH and I that Jac was potentially ruining his DD's kindgergarden experience: said Jac told his DD she "colored outside the lines", "she had too many letters in her name...they were learning to print their names" and last, he said Jaclyn laughed at his DD's snack napkin on which the mom drew a heart. HELLO? The DH and I were like what kind of guy knocks on someones door over b.s. like that?!!! Anyway, that made things rather uncomfortable for a good while... and now because Jaclyn repeated a ghost story that the bigger kids scared the younger ones w/on Friday night, he's threatening her with "you're not welcome in my home"???? I let myself calm down and several hours later called over there to get their version of the events...he now claims he said "that kind of talk" isn't welcome in his home...this after his wife already confirmed he made the original statement. She said oh, I thought everything was OK, the kids went back downstairs to play. I said oh, yes, she was fine with the kids...she's just very uncomfortable around your husband... LOL! I'm sure she didn't know what to make of that statement. I'm sorry...I've just had ENUF b.s. from this crew. They stressed me out so bad just before my BC dx, ostracizing my daughter, saying she couldn't play with their kids, etc. Jaclyn was forced to look out our windows and watch all the kids play because they essentially told me she wasn't welcome in their yard/cul de sac. OK...sorry for venting about kid crap, esp. to those of you who don't have kids are prob. not interested... for the most part I stay out of all kid issues, but this guy just crossed the line one too many times.

Robbin I am so sorry to hear about your kitty. Those things are so hard, but you were very brave and loving to do for him what needed to be done.

Tina, YECK on the kid drama. I hate when crap like that happens. There is a family that lives around the corner from us…two very nice little girls…but the father is totally creepy. He was well known for putting his younger daughter down in public (telling her she was a “knucklehead” and implying that she was not a nice or competent child…none of which was actually true) on several occasions he inappropriately disciplined his children in front of my girls to the point that they were scared. In the end the only solution was to terminate the friendship. I did NOT, however confront the idiot…we just stopped going over there and did not call anymore. Eventually they just faded away. Now when we see them, I smile politely and wave, but I think the father knows they were snubbed and he always gives me dirty looks. Sometimes people stink. You have had a lot of neighborhood drama lately Tina between the stalker and the paternal-freak! I wonder if it is a full moon or something?

Cindy it was great to hear from you and that you had a nice time in Colorodo. Pics? Post ‘em if you got ‘em

Caya…still thinking about you and sending you positive vibes. Remember that it is MY job to fret

Well, I think I am officially pushing myself too hard now. On Friday I did not feel very well…I was very fatigued and foggy in the head, felt a bit of a soreness in my throat and just basically felt off. That night, after DH got home I sat down on the couch at about 7PM, and basically wound up sleeping on and off until 10AM the next morning. I woke up for a few brief spells…to eat dinner, take meds, and brush teeth, but basically the evening was a wash. I felt a bit better yesterday so I guess I needed it, but I am taking the experience as a warning that I am asking too much of myself. I was supposed to drive out the LI with the kids this morning to order my dress for my Sister’s wedding, but I bailed and decided to stay home instead because it is a very rigorous ride. It is only about 60 miles but because of the traffic patterns it can take anywhere from an hour and 15 to 3 hours to get there. I feel bad, but my health is more important…and of course my sister understands.

I have a spot on the bottom of my “fixed” breast (not the reconstructed one) that still looks a bit open, and it is draining a small amount of greenish yellow stuff onto my bra, and the very edges of the wound are dark pink transitioning into white. I am sure that it is a little infected, but I am also pretty sure that it is minor…I go back to the PS on Tuesday. I may ask for an antibiotic. I am kind of freaked out by it, even though I know rationally that I will be fine.

Well I have no clue what I am going to do with myself today now that I aborted my previous plans. I better do something or I think I am going to slide into a funk. YECK.

hugs

Thanks everyone for all the support and fretting - (Rebecca, Skye, Mary etc.). I have been busy the past 2 days so I haven't had much time to think about anything.
Today my brother and I took Cassie downtown to her dorm ( DH is in Vancouver) - it's a converted Holiday Inn, so the room is a nice size, she has a private bathroom. They had students there to help you unload the car and shlep up the stuff to the room, very organized. So we stayed for a couple of hours, helped her unpack, and then left. She was so happy and excited, and I of course am happy for her because Cassie really deserves a normal life - she was home here when DH had his aneurysm and recuperation and then with me for my dx and treatments. Our older daughter Amanda was away at university in London,Ontario (2 hrs from here) - so she wasn't here for the day to day drama like Cassie. So I'm glad she can have some fun.
On the way home I drove right by the hospital where I am going tomorrow for the ultrasound. My best friend (the only one besides DH who knows) wants to come with me for support, and since DH is away until tomorrow night, I will probably have her come with me.
I did take an ATIMAN yesterday afternoon and had a 1&1/2hr. nap. I think I may do the same today.
Robbin - sorry about you cat. I know this was hard for you.
Tina - that father sounds like a goof. DH and I always tried to stay out of the kids little tiffs - otherwise they never learn how to stand up for themselves and cope. It's different if they are being bullied, but I hardly think the Jaclyn making comments about the poor darling's colouring is too tragic. OY!!!
so that's it for now ladies. My U/S is at 8:30 a.m., I am going to speak to the radiologist and get a reading and demand an MRI, no matter what the results say, which will probable be B9.

Rebecca that spot on the unfixed breast sounds like infection for sure. Can you get it looked at sooner than Tuesday? - Skye

Hey guys, I've been in a weird funk all day too... I think today is one year I discovered my BC. Ironically, I spent it at the pool....same place I was last year....gorgeous, sunny day. Rebecca, I've been paying attention to my body more as of late...actually taking 15 minute power naps a few afternoons a week, say from 5 to 5:30 or so... I really feel a lot better. Part of it is I just need to shut down so my mind doesn't wander to bad places. I feel like I can't run/hide from it via shopping, the kids, etc... I don't need anything, so shopping is just wasting money. My house is pretty much finished except for the usual maintenance crap I don't enjoy. I'm hoping my "working" at the brownie shop 2 days a week thru x-mas will be just the right amt. of time to keep me busy but not too busy. I start training tomorrow. My friend manages the shop and lots of my nice neighbors work there. Yes, I do have a couple of wack jobs in my midst here, unfortunately. Now that I know I'm not the only one whose had problems w/these particular people, it's much easier to deal with. He was just so rude to Jac, I wasn't letting him get away with it. Thx. for the suppport everyone..I know listening to foolish kid drama isn't fun.

Caya and Skye, I'll be thinking of you guys tomorrow. Skye, LOL'ing about the drunken head massages. Good God!

Hi all,
I am really enjoying my time at my cottage. I never appreciated it before- now I find it very serene and peaceful. My sister brought my mom down here yesterday. It was the first time she saw me since my surgery. I just told her a few days ago because I didn’t want her (90) to worry. She thinks that I had to be sicker than I was to have gone through such drastic measures. She does not understand that I chose this procedure preventatively. Now that she saw me, I think she finally understands. It was tough though.
I had all 4 drains removed on Friday. That was a real treat. Apparently, all four drains were draining nicely, under the recommended cc’s per 24 hours. I feel so free now. I do get tired easily, but I think that is due to the pain meds. I still need them every 6 hours. At the fifth hour, I start to feel a bit uncomfortable. The doc says that I will start to feel better in a few days and then I can start tapering off slowly. I will then get my concentration back and feel less tired. I had to get my hercepton infusion on Thursday and then had to go to Boston to see the PS on Friday. I think that pooped me out.
Rebecca,
You look beautiful- ready for the real world!
Do you have a fever? That can be a sign of infection. If you still do not feel right tomorrow morning, I would suggest you call your PS. I am glad you cancelled today- your health is too important. R & R is on your menu today. I hope you feel better.
Mel,
Your couch fiasco must have been a huge frustration! I hope they bring the correct one asap. I would have been soooooo mad!!
Lynn,
How are you doing working full time again?
You will receive a whole booklet on instructions before your surgery. In this booklet they will explain that they keep you in PACU for 24 hours, depending on your progress. Dr. Lee was finished at 7:30 on Monday night and I would have been moved to the regular floor around 4:00 on Tuesday, but they wanted D. Lee to find my pulse on the flap before they moved me. He wasn’t out of surgery that night until 11:00. Also, they told me that the room I was getting was still occupied. Apparently the man who had my room was not getting picked up until 11PM. I was surprised they allowed him to stay in the room for so long. I guess those two reasons lead to my getting to my room so late. It was worth the wait- I loved my private room with a great view of Boston. They were able to give me a cot for my dd for Wednesday night. We had a sleepover, which was a real treat for me. I am feeling a lot better, but I still need the pain meds.
Skye,
Welcome back. We all missed you.
You look beautiful!! Steve and you make a gorgeous couple. I am so glad they changed plans and you had a wonderful time. What a story about the drowning!!! I am glad everyone made it back in one piece. Other than the almost drowning, I am glad you had a relaxed wonderful time.
I hope you feel better real soon.
Mary,
Each bedroom has its own bathroom? Where does he go to school? Sounds quite nice.
Cindy,
I am glad you had a great vacation in Colorado. I live in Louisville, near Boulder for 5 years. Our son was born there. It is indeed beautiful in Colorado.
Robbin,
Sorry to hear about your kitty.
Tina,
Good luck tomorrow with your U/S. I hope that it can clear everything up and that it shows that is it just cysts. I agree with you and everyone else, pushing for the MRI is your right.
I can’t believe some parents!!! Kids have to work things out by themselves- I guess they now have a well deserved name-helicopter parents.
Viddie

Melia, it's good to have you back, and I'm so glad you had a fun and relaxing vacation. How lucky you are to have a place like that in the family! Too bad you have to go right back to work - it's always nice to have a little bugger period between vacation and work I think. I didn't think you were particularly smug about working through chemo - and we all know everybody's experience is different. Now, getting ready for the wedding is really going to test you - that's a lot to do with working, too.

Viddie, it sounds like you're doing so well! The pain meds really do drag you down a bit - you'll perk up once you're able to cut down on them, but don't rush it. Isn't it a wonderful feeling to have those drains out? I never knew you had lived in Colorado - when was that?

Jen, glad you got to go rock climbing again - you're going to be quite the climber, soon. Do you think you'll ever try it on real rocks? I' m sure you'll be a greata chemo angel - sounds like you got a good match.

Tina, tell me about working at the brownie shop. Is this brownies like chocolate brownies, or like baby Girl Scouts? I must have missed something. By the way, I think Jaclyn's friend's dad should be ashamed of himself, or embarrassed at the very least. That is so ridiculous, to try to micromanage his kid's interactions like that.

Skye and Caya, good luck to both of you at the doctor tomorrow - I'll be thinking about you. And Rebecca, I'd call about your infection, or at least definitely tell him about it on Tuesday. You don't want to mess around with that - I'm sure he'll want you on something. Don't worry about it, just don't fail to mention it. Caya, glad you got Cassie all settled in, and I'm sure she'll have a wonderful year. Oh, I'd love to go back to the college years again - what a great time of life.

Cindy, glad you're back and had a good time in Colorado. Would love to see some festival pics.

I had a very uneventful weekend. It took me all weekend, but finally tonight I got someone to come and pick up our old couch and two chairs - I put them up on craigslist for free. Some very nice people came for them and were glad to have them. They were dog people, and suggested that Harrison was part lab, part greyhound. He is a little narrower than a lab, and now that I look at him, he does look like he might have some greyhound in there somewhere. Speaking of Harrison, he can bark! We haven't heard him make a sound, but yesterday he was sleeping next to me and dreaming, and he barked in his sleep, very clearly. Not just a whimper, but several good woofs. I'm glad he can, at least - who knows what someone did to him to make him think he can't, poor baby.