Mammo and US results

I had mammo and ultrasound today finally. Well as suspected it was a waste of time, well sort of. The lump and thickening in the left breast still were not seen on mammo OR U/S. Ruling out cyst or fibroadenoma. However they did find a solid mass a little bigger than 1cm in the right breast (the good breast), that I just felt for the first time this week. Again with my age they said it is most likely a fibroadenoma. They said on US it is definitely not a cyst, but at first glance didn't appear to be anything malignant. I saw it when they were doing the US and it was distinct but with fuzzy edges. But I should get full report by Tuesday. They said the reason they did not put the 2 cm lymph node in the prior report was because it didn't appear cancerous because it was white on US and not black???? I don't get it. Either way it was enlarged so isn't that enough to raise an eyebrow with a corresponding breast lump, even if the lymph node is not cancerous? So now I have to wait for surgeon to get report before he will decide whether or not to order MRI. The tech also mentioned several small palpable lymph nodes around axillary region of left side. I really want to believe this is not cancer, but it's getting harder and harder with each new test or finding. I wanted to cry when I left there today because I was really hoping to have some more definite info and instead i just left with more questions. And the radiologist who was there today is the one who mis-read a prior scan. So I requested the other radiologist do the report when they come in tomorrow. I don't know how I'm going to get through more waiting. I called the surgeon and asked if he would order MRI now and they said he won't do anything until he gets the official report. How do you deal with the waiting and not knowing. I thought this past week was bad, but now, God knows how long it is going be until I have MRI and biopsy at this point. By the time I get there, I'm probably just going to tell them to cut them both off, I don't want or need them, or the hassle and worry that comes with having boobs. I know that sounds extreme, but that is my mindset at the moment. I don't know whether to scream or cry. All the ladies on this board have been very helpful, but I have to function in the real world too, not just online. Right now I'm finding that very hard to do because I am so pre-occupied with whatever is lurking in my boobs. Sorry for the rant. Just trying to maintain what little sanity I have at the moment. I still can't help but think this is ILC after reading how sneaky it is about not showing up on MRI or US.