June 2007 Chemo

Terry - My oncology office advised against buffet situations.............sounds REALLY good to me though!

I'm nervous about my first Taxol/herceptin on the 24th too.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
Dawn

Ah, well...too late on the buffet! Is everyone being *extra careful while on chemo? I've been to movie theaters, grocery stores, Wal-Mart etc and have been lucky so far, I guess. I carry anti bacterial hand wash and use it after shopping especially if I use a cart.
Am I tempting the gods?

Debbie, I hope this next treatment isn't so harsh for you. My onc nurse said they will give me a script for Motrin to use just-in-case and I have pain meds left from my surgery too. HOpe your plan of attack works!!

Our weather has been gorgeous today too, sunny and the humidity has finally left. It was a miserable few days there for awhile.

i know a number of women that found out they had BC. had the lump removed, got chemo if needed and rad and never had another problem. From everything I have read and the people I know, you get it taken care of and then move on with your life and it just becomes a bad memory.

Terry, I haven't read Susan Love's book either so you're not the only one! I hope you are able to meet up with others in your area. I love SD and hope to get down there in Oct.
Cyndi

Bob, is your wife newly diagnosed? I wish her the best and you, too. I agree that chemo is a personal decision and one best taken on a case by case scenario. Every woman out there needs to consider the pros and cons and what she feels is best for her.

Cyndi, I've played the chemo brain card so many times over the last few months, my family just rolls their eyes. LOL But, you're almost right about the book, I've only read bits and pieces of it mainly trying to find info on ERneg/PRpos/Her2Neuneg tumors...didn't have much success.

I too have been lucky in regards to my blood count but my onc gives me the neulasta shot after each tx no matter what. Let's hope our luck continues.

Cyndi, have you tried journaling? Some women swear by it but I didn't feel comfortable writing my thoughts down. I would write VERY sparingly and then felt like I had to play catch up to explain everything. Guess that isn't the point, huh?
But, maybe if you tried writing a little bit each day and how you feel, maybe it would help you.
Do you belong to a support group? I find a real life connection to women who've gone through this before is very uplifting. Some of their stories are so inspiring and I'm amazed at what we can endure.
But, as my onc said at the very beginning of my treatment when I asked for xanax to help me get over the rough spots, 'We don't expect you to be superwoman'and promptly wrote out a script for me...if it gets too bad, seek help. I'll keep you in my thoughts, Cyndi.

Cyndi - I know what you mean about the "missing spark". I think tx#3 did it for me, too. It seems as though I was really strong all through the early treatments and then the dread of the SE started to set in with tx#3. I try to keep busy so I don't dwell on not having hair, etc. I've gone back to my part time job a couple of days a week and every one is so great there. I do get a little weary of telling my cancer treatment story but if it forces someone to think about getting a mammogram then it's worth it. I've realized, too, how much I have learned about this stuff and how little most people do know about it.
Hey Lisa, I haven't read Susan Love, either. I will see if our local library has it. I will be good reading during the upcoming tx#4.
Terri - I located a Reiki practitioner in Dallas - I live north of Fort Worth. It sounds like a great way to take care of yourself. About the buffet, if it didn't bother you it can only make you stronger, plus going out really lifts your spirits, too. As part of this whole process I've become conscious of everything I eat and I am now a compulsive label reader.
Linda

Wow! It was quiet for a few days and now BAM!!! Maybe it's the weekend and everyone has found a bit more time?

Terry - I figured I was too late but I'm glad it worked out - hope you were able to "taste" some!

I have only been extra careful during the nadir period and with washing fruits and veggies. My DH and I have a dinner group every Tuesday and we have not missed one yet! Couple weeks back my DH had a really bad cold - I was advised to stay away from him and both of us to wash our hands often etc and luckily I did not catch it. Other than that I tend to forget to ask for no lettuce etc on my food sometimes but so far, so good!

DebbieK - Sure hope this treatment goes well - I can't remember: are you doing 12 weekly Taxol? sure wish I was half done - I start 12 weekly Taxol/Herceptin on the 24th and I'm starting to freak.

Lisa - how was lunch? many attendees?

Bob - My first cancer was .2cm, no node involvement and I had surgery and started Tamoxifen. My recurrence a little over a year later was 3.5cm with a clear PET/CT Scan, surgery again but with this my oncologist recommended 4 A/C, 12 weekly Taxol/Herceptin, radiation and continued Herceptin until next June and we'll see about any drugs afterwards. You and your wife should talk to her oncologist and look at her diagnosis and percentages and decide together the best way to go. It's a hard decision and believe me I was relieved when my onc didn't see a need for chemo the first time and she still insists there was no indication I needed it at that time and I trust her. You both need to be comfortable in your decision. I wish you and your wife peace with whatever you decide.

Cyndi - I am right there with you! With tx #3, I had a bit more side effects and started worrying about tx #4 and just didn't feel like my usually upbeat self (at least I try!). Tx #4 I had even a bit more se's but to be honest I can't complain too much and I try not to. Talking w/my DH, he says I make doing chemo look easy. One of my best friends agreed when I talked to her. MAYBE I should be complaining and whining more!!! hahahahaha guess that's not me though. Before cancer, what did you do when you were depressed or down - bubble baths, long walks? Try things until you feel better and talk to your team and all of us.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!
Dawn

I have definite meltdowns about three days after each tx. (I'v had 3 AC so far) and sometimes I feel very pessimistic about the outcome of all of this. I know I'm supposed to be positive but this is a rather terrifying, unpredictable disease we're facing. I do get impatient with bull___ more so than I used too but I'm more assertive too. I just came back from a 6 hour drive and the driver complained the whole way about traffic, people cutting him off, people not having the right change at the toll booths, etc. "Why me?" he asked when he got in the wrong lane. I had a good response for that one but I kept my mouth shut since I didn't feel like driving myself. I think depression is all part of the trip we're on but if it became debilitating (like crying a lot, never wanting to go anywhere or see friends, etc.), I would not hesitate to see about medication and a support group.

Hi Everyone,

So great to hear from all of you. I've told my friends and family about the wonderful women we have in our June chemo group and how supportive we are for each other. If my memory were better I would comment to each and every one of you as I feel I can relate to everyone in one way or another. But by the time I'm done reading I can't remember what I wanted to say!

But I can remember how I've felt this last treatment. I had treatment #2 of Taxol. I'm receiving the weekly treatments. It was very similar to my first week, with diarrhea and fatigue being my only side effects. A slight bad taste in my mouth, but not near as bad as with A/C. I also receive Herceptin with the Taxol so I'm not sure if the diarrhea is an SE of Taxol or Herceptin.

Cyndi, I must say I had the depression and sadness hit me with my third treatment of A/C. I had begun so positive and kept everything in perspective and then suddenly I became very sad and overwhelmed with my situation. But looking back I feel like it was a cumulative effect of the A/C side effects. I just didn't bounce back quick enough. Now that A/C is over I feel better emotionally. Of course I have 10 more weeks of Taxol and so chances are the depression will resurface. I try to walk every day and especially when I start to feel down. I've considered getting a prescription, but for the meantime it seems to have subsided. I think it's totally understandable that this chemo trip would affect our emotions, with lots of ups and downs. We should be proud of ourselves for staying as positive as we do for family and friends, but when we get overwhelmed, it's time to pay special attention to ourselves and get help, whatever way we see best.

I wish you all the best for this week with treatments and side effects and emotions. You are all amazing to me. You keep me strong.

xoxo
Kathleen

Hi everyone. Thanks to all of you for making me feel "normal". Well , as normal as bc will let me. I too have been short on patience and more assertive. I thought it was just me. I also don't want to see anyone. My wig is hot , I have just been wearing scarfs. I just don't feel like "me". I feel so ughly. I just want my hair to grow back. NOW!lol. I did alot of cleaning yesterday , and last night was not feeling well. To much dust I think. This am I woke to gunkie eyes and irratated throat. I am also getting overwelmed with all the medical bills. And see my onc in 2 weeks to make a decision about tamoxifen. I just wish I had some options. My er was 90% + so I know I have to do something. I asked my onc about taking my ovaries out since he said "90% of my estrogen comes from my ovaries and then just take a AI. But he said there is nothing wrong with my ovaries so he would not suggest taking them out. But I see it as preventative medicine. I guess I am feeling overwelmed with everything. And I just want to feel my normal again. Thanks for letting me vent. Good luck to everyone. Hugs and prayers , Mel

Boy, I"m right there with all of you on the shortness of temper thing. I find I'm alot shorter with my husband than I used to be. I think it's just all of this feeling like you know what all the time that's getting to us. Tx#3 was REALLY hard for me...I was so sick. And then I was so tired...#4 was a little easier, but I'm more tired again. I also am anemic now, and got that procrit shot. I've had problems all weekend now with being really lightheaded every time I stand up. Several times I had to lay down real fast, flat and wait for it to pass because I thought I was going to pass out, started losing my hearing and the eyesight started going...thought...Oh no..here it comes...but I didn't. I called the onc's office and talked to the on call doctor. He think's it's the atenolol I take for my heart murmur...I think it's being anemic, or the procrit shot. I guess I'll find out more tomorrow.

I start Taxol tomorrow too and am hoping it's easier, but also dreading it like Dawn.

I was told by the nutritioinist I saw before starting treatment, not to eat out at all during the nadir period..and only cooked fruits and veggies during that time. So I've only been out to eat once or twice, and even then, not really out, as we ordered carry out. But gosh, I'm getting tired of food. Anybody else? I just can't find anything that tastes normal, and am losing my appetite big time.

Terry, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. You start Taxol too, don't you? My white blood count this time, was down to 0.8, hemoglobin was at 9.3. It goes down every single time...but this time it got lower than it has before, even with the neulasta shot. I hope the Taxol isn't that hard on it.

Blessings to you all,

Gracie

Terry and Gracie, good luck tomorrow with the taxol! As soon as you are feeling up to it, let us know what it's like.
I wasn't really told to stay away from anything but read or heard someone say nothing raw or unpeeled. But I haven't really stayed away from too much except sushi (which I love). Although the week after treatment a lot of stuff doesn't appeal to me, the stuff I can eat I eat a TON of! My craving has been Jimmy John's Italian subs. I probably eat 3 a week! Sometimes I think this chemo is like pregnancy--nausea, cravings, moodiness. But no baby! Which for me is a good thing--I'll wait for grandchildren. On the subject of short tempers, it just occurred to me that it probably has something to do with hormones (or lack of) as well as everything else.
Well, it's almost 10pm here and that's about as late as I can stay up! I hope everyone has a great week!
Cyndi

Hi Everyone,

Anna, I am doing the 12 weekly Taxol/herceptin. I also did 4 treatments of A/C every two weeks before starting the Taxol. Did you start with something before the Taxol? I haven't heard of 16 weekly Taxol, but then there are so many different plans, for so many different reasons. Can I ask you if you had any problems with diarrhea on the Taxol/Herceptin? I have had it for two weeks now and I am starting to get concerned about dehydration. It is still difficult to drink as much as I should (I used to drink like crazy before chemo), but I am forcing myself so to avoid dehyrdration.

Well, it's time to get my chemo. Good luck to everyone starting Taxol today. It really should be a little easier than A/C. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.

xoxo
Kathleen

Just had to share! I finally got to see my grandson tonight after being quarantined from him due to his MMR shot 6 weeks ago. I missed that little guy SO much!
He's on the autism spectrum and attends a preschool that is helping him with his speaking skills and OT and PT. He's improved so much in the past six weeks, I'm so happy.
The best part, he gave me Eskimo kisses, I've missed those. :-)
A happy time I wanted to share.

oh my goodness, Shrink, thanks for my laugh of the day! I'll be giggling over that line for weeks to come. LOLOL

I live outside Buffalo, near the airport...how often do you visit here? Maybe someday we can meet up!

I hope your 4th AC goes well and SHRINK, tumor, SHRINK!!