Starting Chemo in JAN 2007
Comments
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Oy Miz, TOXIC TOXIC TOXIC. Stay out of the drama, that is not what you need now. sounds like that self centered girl does not deserve that which she refused anyway (the honor of wearing heirloom jewels at her wedding) not should she be gifted with a lovely hand crafted gown like yours. That is sad about Danny's degree. I am a big believer in the power and importance of education. I finished my degree despite the fact that I knew even BEFORE finishing that I was going to be leaving the field anyway. That simple act has influenced my entire life, and the experience of getting my degree (independent of the content) taught me so much.
Go to the wedding. Oooo and Ahhhh like a nice auntie, give them a modest present and then stay away. pay for their honeymoon? CRAZY! -
P.S. The turkey turned around and I realized it was a big tom not hen. I think he's looking for love in all the wrong places.
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all those shoes and none the right size! Why is it no one makes 5 and a half any more? I keep asking at the stores and they just look at me dumbly. It's humiliating to be my age and shopping for shoes in the kids department.
skye we need to go shoe shopping together!!!!! we are puny-feet sisters. sooooo frustrating, and annoying when people oooh and ahhh over how "cute" my feet are. BLECH. The plus side is that I can buy my Crocs in the kids department where they come in all those delicious colors. -
Hey ladies,
Five posts between the time I wrote my last one and it posted,, so I missed yours, Mizsissy. They want YOU to pay for the honeymoon? That is CRAZY! Also nervy, rude and boorish. I would not feel bad saying no. And I believe your gowns are too good for the soon to be bride, from the sound of it. As foar the job at Target, that could be a good thing, hard to tell. It takes some people longer to find their life's work than others. My ds1 is out there doing great with his business degree, ds2 is upstairs in his old bedroom right now, trying to figure out where to go from here. At least he cleaned his room yesterday, that's a start. But as for that wedding, I would just give them whatever you feel like, attend and enjoy the day. I'm so with Miss Manners, the columnist, who is constantly expressing shock over the way bridal couples try to shake down friends and relatives these days in order to get all their heart's desires. It's just not how life is supposed to work. - Skye -
Mizsissy,
Weddings seem to bring out the worst in people. We are planning our younger daughter's in Oct, did our older one last August. I find that people get awfully petty, and asking you to pay for the honeymoon is crazy. I suggest you just go and smile, and try really hard not to let the bridezilla stuff get to you. And do not pay for anything that you don't want to, or that isn't in the budget. While my sweet girl was stressing this weekend about the shade of blue of her invitations, I just had to giggle and tell her I had seen NO stats tying color of invitations to length or happiness of marriage. I know Danny's behavior is hurting you; just do what you can and feel up to, and don't let them guilt you into ANYTHING. Goodness knows we have all learned that we can't wast energy on pettiness on the part of other people. We have been thru too much to spend time catering to poor behavior! -
Tina I am sending lots and lots of good thoughts your way that your DHs job will remain in place. My husband works for a big bank we know first hand there is no job security in big corporations. Just like you said your future can be knocked of course by any unpredicted management change. It always seems to boil down to politics. Anyway, I truly hope it works out. Worse case you can keep your current health insurance through COBRA for 18 months although you would have to pay the full premiums. But at least youd have 18 months for him to get another job with group health insurance before you ran into problems. Its not much I know. Lets just hope hes OK.
Debbie It does sounds like the rads fatigue has hit you hard. Try to get lots of rest.
Sharon Wonderful that today is your LAST treatment! Enjoy not going tomorrow.
Rebecca you are right the ceiling fan keeps me asleep all night but I do wake up freezing cold and all bundled under the blankets. That I can live with. I find that I often get very cold, sometimes even shivering, between hot flashes.
Mizsissy it really seems like weddings are getting more and more out of control and over the top these days. (Maybe caused by all of those elaborate childhood birthday parties). I wouldnt dream of refusing a gift of family jewelry even if it wasnt a perfect match. My mom taught me to never turn down and gift but to always accept it gracefully. But I am NOT the person to ask about wedding stuff. I was so uninterested in dealing with all of the wedding craziness that we eloped. I was just never one of those little girls that dreamed about her wedding ceremony. I do think you should go. Dont let your annoyance with the bride keep you from sharing that special day with your nephew. I wouldnt pay for anything not required by tradition. I dont know why people often feel so entitled to financial help from others. Ive always preferred to be self-sufficient (but then I never had a choice either).
Skye I wouldnt last long as a vegan. Hats off to those who go out of the way for a healthy lifestyle. But I love chocolate and Im not giving it up.
Thanks all for the reassurance about holding out for the doctor I want. Sometimes I wonder if Im just being spoiled making such a big deal out of it. -
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Thanks all for the reassurance about holding out for the doctor I want. Sometimes I wonder if Im just being spoiled making such a big deal out of it.
I'm so glad I had this morning to read around on the forum. Hold on to your seat girlfriend because I'm about to give you a good talking to.
Of course your deserve to have the best surgeon available! You are not spoiled!!!! You are a wonderful woman who got hit with BC and there are certain things owed to you, and laws to guarantee you get it.
The problem arises with our awful insurance business....and this is the way we have to think about it. We are business to them. They want us to think they are watching out for us, but it all comes down to the bottom dollar. This is when you have to stand up for what you deserve and never waiver on that. A surgeon who has only done 10? No way! You are not a teaching subject, you are a person. A surgeon who has over 2000 under his belt with a very high success rate....you got it and you can get it if you stick to your guns.
Get that referral letter stating that it is in your best interest to go out of network and get your surgery paid for as if in network, "because your network does not provide you with an experienced surgeon to give you safe and effective care". My bilateral DIEP was 5 hours, 50 minutes. No comparison to Dr. H's OR time, and no need to discuss the differences in safety due to long anesthesia times. We've seen discussion of complications here from that exact thing.
This experience will show you just how strong you can be, and I know that you are from our few meetings. This will affect you, your life, and your body for the rest of your time on earth. Do it right. Your insurance wants you to feel spoiled, selfish, silly, and more. They try to wear you down. You are not any of these things. And I love you....so there. -
A tip for Skye and Rebecca and any other small footed ladies out there - there is a great website called www.zappos.com where you can order all kinds of great shoes from many different lines - I am pretty sure they have free shipping and return shipping - Our brand is called Van Eli - most of the styles are available in small sizes, many start at size 4. Try it - there are many many brands.
Mizsissy - that future niece sounds spoiled with a capital "S". Pay for the honeymoon? Are these people serious? Don't be too hard on the kids though, it's a different world today, so many of the kids are not brought up with good values and manners. I would definitely attend the wedding, if you want to give a cash gift, give what you feel like and can afford. Cash gifts are common at Jewish weddings, and other ethnic groups like Italians and Muslim too.
Jan, I'm with you, no way could I last long being a vegan. And my attempts to eat better the last few years - less red meat, more fruits and veggies, no white bread,pasta - only whole grain - yeah, well, look where that got me? right girls?
Melia - good luck with your DD's wedding - 2 in such a short amount of time - I hope it's not too much stress for you.
caya -
Hi ladies,
Mizsissy, the gowns are gorgeous! You have such talent. Best of luck to you with starting a website and selling, Im sure you will do wonderfully! As for the wedding, I think you should go. You would probably regret it if you didnt and there would be no way to turn back. Not sure why you are being asked to pay for the honeymoon..wow!
Jan, boy, I hear you about the hot flashes at night. I am just miserable. We have central air, but I normally dont have it on unless its real hot. Ive never liked sleeping in air conditioning. Well, last night I was just fed up with the sleepless sweaty nights and got up, turned the air on. Normally the fan in the window does just fine, but these past few nights have been awful I hate wet sheets! I think you are doing the right thing in appealing the insurance company. 8 10 is definitely not enough experience.
Tina, so sorry to hear about your husbands job. Hopefully all will be ok!
Sharon, congrats on finishing rads, woo hoo!
Rebecca, too funny about OJ. Guilty, nuff said!
Melia, lol on bridezilla!
Skye, lol on ds2 cleaning his room. The kids sure are all different! Some just take longer to figure things out than others! Have a nice birthday dinner for your dh.
Ellie, how are you feeling?
Joni, thinking about you on your trip to Vancouver, Im sure you are having a wonderful time!
My infection is really getting much better, although Im afraid that when I go off the ibuprofen, it will come right back hopefully not. The poison ivy is such a PITA! Its not a severe case, but keeps popping up all over the place..argh!
We pick up Ally from camp this Saturday, shes been there for 4 weeks. We did visit her half way through, but I sure do miss her, itll be nice to have her home. Were not going on a vacation in August this year, instead, were doing a mom/daughter trip to NYC to see Lion King. Well spend the night, shop and be together. 15 is such a tough age, I hope she will enjoy herself.
Love and hugs,
Lynn -
Thanks girls for all the good advice. I will go to the wedding; in fact, the rooms we paid for are nonrefundable (we got quite a good deal!). But I am going to reconsider the honeymoon gift.
I have designed a very nice dress to wear, and believe you me, I won't feel one twit guilty about upstaging the bride if that's what I manage to do!!!!
xxxooo Mizsissy -
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Debbie It does sounds like the rads fatigue has hit you hard. Try to get lots of rest.
You could be right, Jan, but in all fairness, I had a long, busy day yesterday. I started out going in the my primary care doc's office for lab work, then went to my water aerobics and stayed the entire hour. After a quick trip home for lunch, it was time to go to rads, and after rads I had an appointment with the Eye doctor down the street. After the eye doc, I stopped at my cousins' Optical shop across the parking lot and picked out new glasses. When my hubby and I got home there was a short break before time to start supper.
I did sleep all the way through the night last night and woke up this morning feeling good and rested.
The rest of the days this week don't seem quite as busy.
I plan on taking those naps when I need them in the coming weeks. -
Still thinking about this...and I think I might have found a creative solution. I will give Danny a cash gift equivalent to what I was going to contribute to the honeymoon, but it won't be a honeymoon present, it will be a graduation present, payable WHEN and IF if makes up his incompletes and graduates from VMI. In the meantime maybe I'll get them a pair of sterling candlabra or something.
Thanks for your help girls with your thinking about this...I have always found if I give something enough thought I can usually find a solution.
The new HOT TOPIC of conversation seems to be hot flashes. Yes, fans are great. We have a ceiling fan. We also have another smaller fan, so that when it really gets hot I put it right on the table next to my bed. And the chillow pillow. And turning the AC down to 60!!! (not very energy efficient!). And I do get cold in between too, very cold.
This weekend we are going to move the guest bed, a double, down to the basement. I'm going to take over the guest room as a sewing room, and then we'll always have a cool place to sleep.
xxxooo Mizsissy -
Caya, yes, Zappos.com does have free shipping both ways. I haven't done it as I really haven't needed anything in the clothing/footwear dept. lately.
I just got in from a taping of the Food Network. My good friend owns a company here called sugardaddies.com. They sell gourmet brownies. Anyway, Bobby Flay came and they did a "throw down". Sugardaddies won. It was fun. We may be on TV. All my neighbors were there. So hot today...near 90. Heading to the pool to cool off. -
Did you all see Robin Roberts announcement today that she's been diagnosed with breast cancer?
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3430554 -
I did see the news. She says it's an 'early form of breast cancer' so maybe it's DCIS non-invasive..can't tell. I can relate, she is my age and I thought the same thing, how could this be, I'm so young and healthy. I'm sure she will inspire many to get mammo's and do sbe's.
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Let's meet in the chat room tonight - join in anytime after 8:00pm ET (that's 7 central, 6 mountain, 5 pacific). Or post another time if you don't like the one I made up I'll try to get there as soon as I get the kids to bed.
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Those are gorgeous, Mizsissy! Gina shows your work well. We'll all be waiting to see your website.
And good luck with the oils.
Cindy -
Mizsissy, your nephew has chosen a lifemate who will challenge him - and not necessarily in a good way. He'll have to go blind to ignore her behavior in comparison to how he was raised.
yep, be the loving auntie and walk away after the ceremony. I've been through some tough times with my beloved nieces and I know how hard that is. But he will remember later that you were there for support and he'll be more open to come see you if he needs that support again.
Cindy -
Hey Ladies,
I saw the Robin Roberts announcement. I've always loved her and I went to their web site and sent her a message and an invite to drop in on us.
Sorry to miss the chat last night but we were out enjoying the Simpsons movie with dss's and ds lovely girlfriend. I laughed so hard, it was great. DH had a good party, and we have a second get together with inlaws Friday.
I'm with those of you who couldn't be a Vegan. The thing is, this woman was already a vegetarian and yoga practitioner and she STILL got cancer, she was at stage 4 lung and liver at dx. I do think diet matters and can affect our immune systems, but the majority of people eat horribly and never get cancer. Therefore there are still other things going on we don't understand. And I'm sorry but I'm just not an enema person. Is anyone? :-) Still, my friend who sent me the book met the author at Book Expo in NY and had her autograph it for me, and said she had tears in her eyes as she signed it. She also had a crewcut hairdo. Overall it's encouraging and enjoyable.
Herceptin and MRI today, plus I'll find out what anti-estrogen he wants me to start with. Will check back later on this HOT and muggy day - Skye -
skye we need to go shoe shopping together!!!!! we are puny-feet sisters. sooooo frustrating, and annoying when people oooh and ahhh over how "cute" my feet are. BLECH. The plus side is that I can buy my Crocs in the kids department where they come in all those delicious colors.
Rebecca I had missed this post of yours somehow!Yes I get those comments too about what little feet I have and can never resist pointing out that at my height I'd look ridiculous if they were any bigger. I would LOVE to go shoe shopping with you...put it on the agenda for our eventual big get together!
Skye -
Oh boy gals, I am now in the middle of major family melodrama. I emailed the older brother last night with my decision to make the gift a graduation present and he went nuts. Called me, told me I was "losing my temper." He was yelling (the brother, not DannY), and I quietly told him I am not losing my temper, I am making a decision. He told me I am "meddling in Danny's affairs" and he won't like it.
But guess what, I got a good night's sleep for the first time in a few weeks. I feel good about this decision. So does my 84-year-old Mom but this poor old lady's frantic and losing sleep, because she was told her only grandson--the apple of her eye--only had one subject to make up and now she doesn't know what to believe.
So I have some fires to put out today!!!!!
Mizsissy -
Iowacindy, you nailed it...that's just how the rest of us in my family feel.
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I dunno, MizSissy, at this point I think I'd just write a normal sized check for the wedding gift and leave it at that. Same for gradution. I know that in many parts of the country, it's not done that way (seeing as though I've lived in nearly every corner by now, ha-ha!). But the good old northeast way of doing it is cash, cash, cash. I got zero wedding gifts. Makes it easier on the giver and the recipient never seems to not like the color, need to return it. However, I'd never spring for a honeymoon. Unless it's at the Motel 6 a few towns over.
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Mel, meant to mention that I think you'd look perfect in one of those SoHo mall ponytails. Hell, after all these wigs we can do anything! I'd just get the small one...it's like six inches long and it has two pieces that jut out from the comb. You use an elastic to make your own pony, which can literally be a stub. Then you stick the comb up under the pontail and you twist the two pieces over the top and then tuck them under the ponytail. Looks totally real. I cannot WAIT to have enough hair to do it again. That's when I'll feel normal. Plus, it's so easy to slick the front part back w/gel, wear some big earrings and wella, you're in style.
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Hi girls,
Well, I finally got the courage and dyed my hair this morning. Dark natural blonde is the color. It looks pretty good, covered the gray really well (except for one spot on my temple that I must have missed, but it's small).
I'm so glad I did it! -
Good Morning Girls...I think I am going to get disinvited to the wedding because of the present business. Oh heck, we've already paid in advance nonrefundable for hotel rooms at the Crowne Plaza in Richmond!!
But I just talked to Puppy, who lives in WV, and she and her husband can take a nice little weekend down in Richmond late September and live it up!!!
Puppy says she'll go to the wedding just for the food and just says she's "an aunt." At least she'll have hair to wear!!!
Lynn, my dying hair color is dark blond too. I've tried temporary rinses..they don't work. I guess I'm going to have to pull out all the stops and use peroxide.
Tina, I am having a hard time visualizing the ponytail thing. Help me!
BTW, what is going on with our website?!!!! Someone is doing a really bad job of screen redesign!!!!
xxxooo Mizsissy -
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I dunno, MizSissy, at this point I think I'd just write a normal sized check for the wedding gift and leave it at that. Same for gradution.
I am with you Tina.
Last lecture class today....wow that went fast. Then a storm of grading papers and then....my surgery. I have such mixed emotions as the big day approaches. I am happy for the closure, scared for the pain, indignant that I have to do this at all. sigh. would that I had a more restricted emotional range....
Caya, I have indeed used zappos and other online shoe sites to get shoes. I have found that in most cases that is the only way to get them in my size!
off to the pool. have a good day today! -
eeeek Miz I see what you are saying about the website. YIKES!
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You took the words right out of my mouth Mizsissy - what's going on with the website? I think the design was fine as it was - Why do people always think we need the "new and improved" version? The only thing that might be good is they said they were going to try to improve the problem that we have with losing our posts - so that WOULD be an improvement.
My cousin left this a.m. she's on the 401 west to the Windsor tunnel to get to Detroit. It was great having her here.
I went this morning to meet a new GP - let's just say it wasn't what I was hoping for. She was nice enough, very interested in my whole BC story, I liked the office set up - if she's not there one of the other docs sees you... sigh, it's going to be impossible to replace Janet, my GP of nearly 20 years. I am trying to see if there are any other female GPs that are in the area and taking on new patients.
It's very hot here and humid too. No sign of rain for the next 2 or 3 days, I hope my garden doesn't wilt.
I still am getting aches and pains in my arms, back, hips and knee since starting the Tamoxifen just over 3 weeks ago. When I take the Naproxen (2 x per day) it does help, but I really don't want to take it so regularly. I will ask the onc. about it next Thursday when I go for my Herceptin infusion. Also have my first post-op mammo scheduled that afternoon. I'm not too keen on just the mammo, because as you all know the mammo and breast u/s I had in June 2006 showed nothing. I told the breast surgeon that but he wants to wait and see what this mammo shows, which is digital - also being done at the no. #1 cancer hospital in Canada (Princess Margaret Hospial - aka PMH)- so I expect the equipment and the radiologists are top rate.
Sorry I didn't make the chat last night, I was out at dinner and shopping with my cousin.
caya -
I've written the moderators and they say they're investigating the problem and will get back to me. I can't even type right wi9th everything so crazy
MIOz
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