mom is dying...

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Bree53
Bree53 Member Posts: 6
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
Hello all,

I wanted to tell you all a little bit about my story in hopes that you might be able to help me. My mother (age 50) was diagnosed with invasive ductile carcinoma in June of 2006. She had a lumpectomy, no nodes, stage 1 in July. Then she found another lump, found out she was BRCA-1, and had a bilateral mastectomy in Sept. She then underwent chemo with A/C and taxol and was a real trooper throughout the whole process (she even played on her tennis team throughout all of her treatment!!!). Unfortunately, in June of 2007, we found out that the cancer had metastasized to her lungs just three months after treatment. Her condition has deteriorated extremely rapidly and now one of the foremost breast cancer oncologists in the US has told us that if she does not respond to the new treatment that she recommended in 10 days, there is nothing else they can do for her. They say they have never seen a breast cancer that has progressed as quickly as hers has and they fear she may not even make it another month. What do I do??? How do I cope with such an awful prognosis? How can I help my mother and the rest of my family? Anybody out there that has dealt with this before? I love her so much and am so scared...
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  • slonedeb
    slonedeb Member Posts: 562
    edited July 2007

    bree i know how you feel i was told the sams thing last week i am 52 i still hold out hope you and your mom will be in my prayers tell her to keep hoping that this new mrd will work like i am deb from ky

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  • decaffdave
    decaffdave Member Posts: 10
    edited July 2007
    god knows that could be karen my wife
    she had a lump with out enught margin and 12 extra tiney seeds suronding one of them
    a full mast with nodes remove and two postive
    on taxateear or something like it and started redation and pain stated in legs and hips
    in 6 weeks a lump on the lowest 3 vertrbaer in spine
    biospy showed breast cancer cells in the bone
    so now rads on the spine and pain is getting better
    both her redationa and chemo onclogest say
    shocked the trumer grew so quick ly
    and now wateing wateing ...
    her doughter has yet to hear the news you have and we hope she and i dont
    prayers to you and your mom...
    dave
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  • Bree53
    Bree53 Member Posts: 6
    edited July 2007

    I wish you both the best and hope that you and your families will never have to go through what my family is going through right now. Take care, God bless.

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  • dinamarca
    dinamarca Member Posts: 37
    edited July 2007
    Bree53, My heart is just breaking hearing your story...wish i could reach out and give you a hug
    (((( HUG )))) I will be praying for you and your family.....i do hope the new treatment will work. Please let us know. God bless.
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  • lilahope777
    lilahope777 Member Posts: 51
    edited July 2007
    Bree53 - How are you doing?

    Hugs,
    Janet
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  • determinedmom
    determinedmom Member Posts: 276
    edited July 2007
    your mom sounds like a great lady, wish I had the magic pill for her and you. My prayers are w/ your family. I know how close i am to my mom - just make the most of every day - play old family movies, talk about all the times you've shared, laugh/cry together, - go shopping (that's what my mom and i like to do). Maybe even share a secret w/ her you haven't told her before and ask her to do the same. When she makes it through the tx., you'll each be able to hold your secret over one another.

    Best wishes and hugs
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  • Joanne46
    Joanne46 Member Posts: 8
    edited August 2007
    There is nothing sadder than watching your mother pass away. I was there last September. Although it was not from cancer, she suffered from diabetes related illnesses, heart failure, broken bones in her back where she could not lay down without pain... Sometimes I just cried to sleep praying God would take her home to ease her suffering. Because, you see, that is where I believe she is now, in Heaven, with a new body and no more pain. And the only comfort I got, as I watched her slip away to Heaven, was knowing that I will see her again someday. She believed in Jesus as her Savior, and she had this glow about her when she died. I don't mean the room changed color, I mean her face changed and she sat up in bed and lifted her arms like a child and was taken home.
    That is the only comfort I can offer you.
    God also is still a God of miracles. So, He can still change your mother's treatment around and heal her if He desires.
    Prayers are with you as I write this.
    God Bless.
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  • schenectady
    schenectady Member Posts: 7
    edited August 2007
    I am so sorry your mother isn't doing well. My MOM battled breast cancer last year and lost her battle. I watched her fade and suffer from the pain. I miss her more than anything in this world and not 1 day goes by that I don't miss her or think about her. Just be strong for her and help her out in any way and spend as much time with her as possible.

    Be Strong..
    -Mat
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  • jansdaughter
    jansdaughter Member Posts: 265
    edited August 2007
    Bree, I hope your mom is doing better and responding to treatment. Stay strong and enjoy every moment with your mother.

    Schenectady, Your post touched me deeply. I could feel your sorrow when I read it. I lost my mom 6 weeks ago after she battled breast cancer seven years. I miss her desperately. She was my friend and we talked everyday. I know it will get better but fighting through grief is hard. Dianne
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  • Bree53
    Bree53 Member Posts: 6
    edited September 2007

    I just wanted to thank all of you for your thoughts, prayers, and words of support and encouragement.  Unfortunately, my mother passed away on August 3rd, 2007--just about a month and a half after we found out the cancer had metastasized to her lungs, and only a little over 4 months after she had finished her chemo.  She was only 50 years old...My only comfort is knowing that she is no longer suffering...I hope and pray that all of you will experience better outcomes than my family and I.  Cherish the time that you have with your loved ones, however long that may be...

    May God bless and keep you all!!!
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  • tawyna1
    tawyna1 Member Posts: 273
    edited September 2007

    god bless you bree. you and your family are in my prayers. i am so sorry

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  • Emma1205
    Emma1205 Member Posts: 2
    edited September 2007

    Hi Bree, I just found this website and am so glad I did. My mom has been diagnosed with stage 4 for almost 2 1/2 years now. She has tried two hormonal agents, one chemo pill and now she is beginning Vinorelbein intraveniously. Her cancer is in nearly every bone, including her skull (I'm sure brain is next), and she has tumors in her liver and spots on her lungs. Some days she seems to be holding on pretty well, other days, not so much. Has anyone had a mom, sister, grandmother with these same cancers? My mom's doctor is so vague about the prognosis - we have no idea how much time she has left or what we should expect going forward treatment wise. She currently lives alone, but I told her she can come and live with me and my family when she can't care for herself any more. The problem is she is never honest with me about how bad she is feeling, and I'm so afraid she won't tell me when it's getting worse and I'll find her dead in her home. I know how you feel about being so scared. I am so sorry - your mom sounds like a tough lady and she is so young. I will pray for you and your mom - please let me know how she is doing!

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  • Emma1205
    Emma1205 Member Posts: 2
    edited September 2007

    I must have lost my last mind. I just read through the rest of the commentary - so sorry about your mom Bree. What more can I say. So sorry.



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  • spar2
    spar2 Member Posts: 6,827
    edited September 2007

    Bree, so sorry about your mom.  God bless you and your family.

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  • Questions_77
    Questions_77 Member Posts: 29
    edited October 2007

    Emma1205, the spread is the same with my Mom (includes skelton).

    Bree53, you hang in there.

    Spend as much time with your Mom as possible--it's worth it. 

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  • jadesothermimi
    jadesothermimi Member Posts: 2
    edited October 2007

    My heart just aches and breaks for Bree and I pray that she is doing well, but can almost feel her pain. I find myself in an unusual situation. My wonderful sister passed away just 3 days shy of her 60th birthday in 2002 from breast cancer. I, myself, am a mammographer and do mammograms and everytime I do a mammogram on someone my heart just sinks to the floor when I see something that wasn't there before or when the radiologist tells the patient that she will need a biopsy. And when we find out that the biopsy report wasn't good , I can imagine how that woman's life will be forever changed. Just the other day I did a mammogram on a co-worker here at the hospital and there they were, calcifications that weren't there before and this week she will have a biospsy. And it's so difficult to remain positive cause I know that it's not always bad but somehow I think of my sister. She had her mammograms faithfully every year and when she first was told she needed a biopsy she didn't tell the family till after it was over. "A little lump", she said. She had chemo and radiation and then a mastectomy and reconstruction. Several years later she had a recurrence and again, didn't tell our mother, sister's or brother's. Only her husband and children knew and one month later she was gone. I still encourage everyone to get a mammogram. And for everyone who is fighting the fight, for the families and friends who love and support you, God Bless you all..

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