New lump

I just don't want another moment to go by without acknowledging your husband's and your disappointing news today. I tried to go back to your original post to more fully understand Donald's situation, but couldn't work the system. In any regards, courage to you both.

One thought would be to ask whether your Oncologist thinks an MRI may be helpful of this new (?opposite) breast mass to allow good picturing, including the axilla, and whether your Surgeon might move the surgical date up depending on it's results. How we empathize with you both for not already having gone through this once, but now again so soon on the past's heels!

Perhaps there is a clinical trial available for your husband which allows one to obtain state of the art surgical/medical care and the potential of a successful fork in the road from evolving treatment (many are listed at ClinicalTrials.gov). With appropriate medical and public community interest in male breast cancer, it's possible such trials exist or will be forthcoming and your husband may feel less isolated "talking with the men".

A wonderful book to read is titled "The Anatomy of Hope: How People Prevail in the Face of Illness" by Jerome Groopman, M.D., should either of you need a lift. You both show fortitude to share your plight with all of us who have (had) breast cancer themselves or in their family as well as with the wonderful researchers, staff, nurses and physicians who diagnose and treat our disease, even perhaps more so as men's breast cancer statistics and research findings are just now accumulating.

Thank you for making the effort to touch base for your husband. I hope even in small ways we might make your plight more bearable in our response.

Tender

Tammy,

My name is Mike. I also have breast cancer, May 05, that has metastasized to my bones, Dec 06. I am currently undergoing my third type of chemo. I started with 6 rounds of Taxotere, Adriamycin and Cytoxan followed by radiation. I was also on Tamoxifen. Bone mets were found in late Dec 06. I had leg and lower back pain. They thought that is was a disc problem because my cancer counts were OK. It was found with an MRI. I had titanium rods put into my left leg and bone cement in my bottom vertebre. I was then put on Xeloda, Zometa and my Tamoxifen was changed to Femera. More bone mets found in May. I am currently taking Abraxane, Avastin and Zometa.

Let Donald know that he is not alone.

This website has lots of information and support from people who understand what he is going through.

Please tell Donald to keep a positive attitute and to never give up the fight.

Best wishes,
Mike

Tender,

Thank you for your message. Actually the cancer has been the easier part of the last couple of years. My wife, of almost 20 years, left me for an ex-friend one week after I completed my original radiation. I was completely unaware and total devastated. By far, the worst experience of my life.

However, on the positive side, the support that I have received from family, friends, co-workers and people in general has been unbelievable!

The incredible support and the new appreciation for each and every new day have been the good things that cancer has given to me.

It seems that every few days something will happen to re-energize me; a smile, a kind act, an e-mail.

Thanks again for your support!

Have a wonderful day,
Mike

Tammy,

Thanks for your support and please tell Donald hello.

I was on Tamoxifen when I finished my first chemo, 6 rounds of TAC, and radiation. When the cancer metatasized to my bones, I guess my onc decided that the Tamoxifen wasn't doing its job. When the mets were discovered, I had a couple of surgeries and radiation. I then went on Xeloda, Zometa and the Tamoxifen was replaced with Femera. Since more spots showed up, I am on Abraxane, Avastin and Zometa. I stopped taking the Femera. I don't know if my onc will put me on something else.

I don't know any other men with bc so I can't help you there.

I wouldn't expect men to be any more likely than women to develop mets. Sometimes, men are diagnosed at a later stage than women because they don't get tested. They also aren't thinking about bc because it is relatively rare in men.

In my case, I had a very stressful situation after my initial bc. I don't know that it led to my mets, but it certainly didn't help.

Please tell Donald to keep a positive attitude. I really think that it helps physically and I know that it helps mentally. You don't want to spend your life waiting for the other shoe to drop.

However, he should get checked any time he is having lots of physical problems. I developed muscle pain and then pain that felt like it was in my bones. It wasn't the stinging, burning sensation of nerve pain. X-rays didn't show my bone mets. An MRI one week after extensive x-rays indicated that my left femur was ready to shatter and that the bottom vertebre in my spine was 2/3 to 3/4 tumor. I was told after my x-rays that it was minor arthritus. Since I went from no pain to barely being able to walk in 3 months, I didn't believe that the diagnosis was correct. Don't settle for an answer that doesn't make sense. Bone scans, MRIs and CAT scans can all pick up bone mets.

Let us know how Donald's test come out.

Best wishes,
Mike

Hi Gary,

I'm glad to hear that you are doing well!

I know that my cancer was over 18 months old when I had my diagnosis. When I had my initial surgery, May 05, my surgeon recommended that I try to find some pictures from the previous year to see if the tumor was visible. I found a picture from Easter of 04 when my family and I went to the Keyes on a camping trip. When I looked closely, I could see a difference in my breast size. I had even noticed it in the Fall of 04, but didn't think much about it. Sometimes one leg or arm is a little larger than the other. I just thought that it was a result of my bad golf swing. I hope that more publicity will make men more aware that they can get bc also.

I appreciate your support and hope that you continue to do well.

Mike

Post deleted by Melissa & Tami

returning the heading to the original

Dear Mike:

I was reading your post and I just thought you might like to know that you are not alone in having been abandonned during such a difficult time in your life. Not long after I was diagnosed, my best friend decided to cut off our relationship. I'm not sure what was worse, the fact that she called my sister to explain this and expected my sister to tell me, or that I also lost my relationship with her 12 year old son who I had helped my friend raise since he was five. We were not partners or lovers like you and your wife, but we had established a somewhat unconventional family of sorts over the years. It was simply devastating to lose it when I felt like I was losing everything else in my life.

I have come to learn that people with cancer say that you learn very quickly who your real friends are when you get sick. It's so much more distressing to find out that your family are not who you thought they were. You sound like such a courageous person. I am so sorry that you too had to go through all of the loss associated with your diagnosis and lose your family as well. You sound so matter of fact about it, but I know the pain that you must have gone, and still are going through.

Stay strong. I was unfortunate enough to have lost many friends to AIDS during the 80's before the cocktail existed. I have always found that when I have lost a friend, god usually provides me with a new one. My old friends could never be "replaced" but there have always been new ones out there waiting for me. I know you will find someone to share your life with again, someone who respects you, loves you and belongs with you. Perhaps, in the end, your loss will turn out to be a blessing in disguise. I hope so.

Be well.

Snooch

I am a two year survivor. I just had my annual mammogram last week and it cam out ok. I had a left mastectomy, 12 weeks of taxol, 12 weeks of FAC (every third week) and 6 weeks of radiation.
If any of you men want to chat with another man that has had BC please contact me. Gary is also great for chatting.
Mike

I have one for the books. I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. I'm through with treatment and on Tamoxifen. Feeling great--- and then three weeks ago my husand was also diagnosed with breast cancer. Needless to say, it was quite a shock. He had surgery and the drs. aren't recommending rads or chemo as he is 76 and has very severe lung problems. Either treatment would be too hard on him. He will just be on Tamoxifen. His sense of humor is great. When he was in the hospital he told everyone that he had breast cancer "I caught it from my wife." Humor has helped us along this 47 year journey of ours. We are both optimistic that things will go well. I'm just wondering now when Oprah will call to have us on her show.  Hee..hee.. Prayers for all you men with breast cancer.

Donna 

Dear Councelor1,

I am a male and was diagnosed with ER+ breast cancer in May of 2005 and was treated with TAC and radiation.  I then went on Tamoxifen until bone mets were discovered in December of 2006.  After surgery and radiation, I began Xeloda and Femera which had little benefit.  I was on Abraxane and Avastin from June 2007 until March 2008.  It worked for a while, but scans in March 08 showed a fair amount of progression.

We then found some information about hormone therapy treatment in men.  If I remember correctly, a single hormone therapy, like Femera, will suppress estrogen.  In men, the Femera does suppress the estrogen, but causes an increase in the production of testosterone.  When men produce testosterone, they also produce about 20% estrogen which creates a viscious circle.  The theory is that by adding a second hormone therapy to suppress both testosterone and estrogen, men show better results.  One thing to note is that the therapy takes 12-16 weeks to start working.

I began Lupron and Aromasin in April of 08.  I had significant progression when we did a bone scan around mid-June.  I was also going through radiation in May.  However, another bone scan in mid August showed just a little progression.  My 12-16 weeks was up in July, which seemed to match my results.  A bone scan in October showed no progression.  In December, there was a little progression, so we added a third therapy, Faslodex.  My scan in mid-March 09 showed no progression. 

I do have some other problems with bones in my neck that are in danger of breaking.  I just finished radiation and we are hoping that the bone that is left will not break and will hold together until bone can regrow.  It will probably late summer before I am out of significant danger.

The dual hormone therapy does have some substantial side effects, but it has been beneficial in controlling my progression.  Single hormone therapy had no benefit for me.

If progression remains a problem, you may want to discuss this with your oncologist.

Best of luck,

Mike

I really admire your good spirit and share in the pain of the desertion from your wife.  My boyfriend of 13 years left me during my tx...he saidhe couldn't deal with it...and he is a physician!  Sending you love and gentle hugs....