Nice things people have said...
My HUSBAND, SISTER, and MOTHER have ALL offered to shave their heads when (IF??) my hair falls out!
Also, my son's best friend, he's 19, was so upset when I told him the other day, he was choked up, if I'd known he was going to get so upset, I wouldn't have told him. He has called here twice!! in the past 3 or 4 days, asking for my son's phone # at college.. I know this kid has the #, but both times he wanted to know how I was doing!
If a 19 year old kid can be so compassionate... why are there so many douche bag adults?
sorry, this is supposed to be a positive thread
*think happy thoughts*
I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE CANCER! Damn it!!
thanks everyone for being on these boards. thanks for the pm's. ladies, I draw strength from you. each and every post makes me a better person. I am comforted here. I feel a solace here I can't explain.
I can do this. I can do this. I don't WANT to do this, but I CAN and I WILL because you women CAN and WILL. We are all sisters in this. thank you whoever made this website. see? I'm feeling better already.
Comments
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Well, you made a positive part of MY day! I was so moved to see that your son's friend was so caring! That is so cool! My son's friends, and well, my daughter's as well, always said I was the "cool" mom. Always made me feel great.
Yes, Kiddo, you can do this, actually, when it comes right down to it: I don't see that you or I have a choice, now do we? So-----*where the hell are the "happy thoughts", Tinkerbell???
I'm glad you started this thread, It sure helped my day and I'm glad it helped yours too!
Hopefully, it will help someone else's too! -
A few ladies in my water aerobics gave me a little ovation on Wednesday when I told them that my last chemo is this coming Monday. One said that I've been so strong throughout my treatment so far she knows that I'll make it through the rest of the way.
It seems like every time I go to my fitness club I meet another survivor who gives me a thumbs up. Even out and around people see my hat or bandanna and say their friend, sister, wife, or whatever made it through and so can I.
One of my on-line friends just gave me an "Angel Award" for inspiring our little group and keeping them informed about my progress.
Maybe I notice the nice people more and don't really see the ones that stare and whisper, but I've mostly had good experiences. -
To borrow a phrase I "went commando" meaning bald headed, much of the time. That got some shocked looks, but lots of compliments. My favorite was from my husband "I was never so proud of you, you were like some priestess." Second favorite from a little boy who had been carefully coached by his mother before my visit. "Aw Mom, she's just a lady, I wanted to see a wig".
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That is so adorable. I love how genuine kids can be!
I admire that you went commando!!! I have been soooooooo wishing I had the balls to do it! I'm projecting that I have a month before the hair falls out, so maybe by then I will....... -
I am almost done with chemo. I have the last of 12 taxols on Thursday. I remember my future son in law's statement when I was diagnosed. He said "stay strong and know you are loved." For some reason, that became my motto. It was so concise, and it said everything I needed.
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I like this thread, good idea. Im having a rough 2 days and this thread made me think of what my co-worker told me a few weeks ago. She said I gave her hope. Hope. I thought that was odd, and she explained that I am showing the rest of the people in my office that bc is doable. Yes it is possible to not only survive, but I have worked and lead a fairly normal life (on the outside) the entire time. Now I just have to get through this 4th and final surgery and finish up w/the herceptin and Ill be done.
Issa -
I finished my last chemo and told my friend that I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. She said, "No, there is life at the end of the tunnel." I like that... she is right. I have life!
Cancer came to kill, steal, and destroy, but by faith in Christ, I have life eternal!
I have life!
Miss S -
One of my friends sent me a teddy bear with a note that says "I am sending you this bear to be there when I cant, when you need a hug."
I was so touched -
I think I was the most touched on the first day I walked into work with my wig on. I felt so foolish and so obvious. I saw one of my co-workers in the cafeteria and she came right up and took my hand and said, "I think you look great." It really made me feel so much better.
That, and when I was out to dinner with my husband one night I told him what a raw deal he was getting with me. With complete sincerity and spontaneity he said, "Are you kidding me? Marrying you was the smartest thing I ever did." It was so sweet because he was so genuine. -
I was diagnosed with LCIS after a breast reduction when they tested the tissue. I have elected to have a bi-mast and a friend's husband came up to me after he heard, gave me a hug and simply said "Anne, it's the hand of God." I have repeated it like a mantra many times since then. No sadness, so weeping--just a quick hug and some powerful words. Every once in a while, someone gets it right.
Great thread.
Anne -
Nice thread. I have a couple really great things that all revolve around hair.
1. An old boyfriend (now just a friend) was checking up on me and I was about 1/2 way through chemo. I said something about not having hair and he was shocked since I had said early on that I did not have many side effects. So he says, "You have no hair at ALL?" I say, "None." He says, "it doesn't really matter if you have hair or not. You have such a pretty face that I am sure you look beautiful anyway." Of course others had said similar things but it is different coming from a childhood friend.
2. After sending out my Christmas cards with our family picture (I had super short post chemo hair in it) a college friend wrote me a nice note and in it she said, "Long hair, short hair, or no hair...you look beautiful. In fact, you look so good that it is actually a little annoying."
3. From my then 4 year old daughter: "Mommy, it doesn't matter if you have no hair. I just love you anyway." -
I was sitting on our balcony last night with my bald head and asked my SO what he saw when he looked at me (feeling pretty unattractive to myself and like a "sick person"). He said, "I see my very best friend." I cry whenever I think about it.
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Awww. He gets a really big star for that one.
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Shrink-it sounds like you have a keeper. I have been blessed too in that category but what your SO said cannot compare to anything. That is so great. Bonny
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How are u doing now, two months on?
I am ahead of you - pun intended - with a thick white curly mop.
Bon courage!
Shirley
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How are u doing now, two months on?
I am ahead of you - pun intended - with a thick white curly mop.
Bon courage!
Shirley
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just wanted to say that i am not necessarily the one with the problem, but im just as scared as ever. they have found a lump in my 17 year old daughters breast and we are to go see a specialist next week, and i am petrified. all i can keep saying to myself is why cant it be me instead of her. even if things turn out for the best, my heart goes out to everyone who is going through this. i will always have an open ear for anyone
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I'm new to this I was diagnosed with breast cancer in august, both breasts came off, and I'm due to start chemo in two weeks. I've stayed off the internet since the beginning thinking I don't want to hear or find out any negative things. I only went on the computer to see if there were any "best" ways to explain what might be next to my five and seven year old (having already told my 16 yr. old). So I'm on this web site & I've never been a real computer user before. I was glad to read all the positive comments & stories on this site. I am hoping that I can stay as sane through all this.
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After chemo took my hair, I just went bald to work and people commented, positively.While my hair was falling out in clumps, I swear my dog Buster (who sheds) was thinking:" look who's shedding Now ".
Really.ha. I just felt "hair" was the least of my worries and I didn't want a wig, too hot. My hair came back well, and I liked it short, all white now cause I won't color it. But I didn't work with the public, and can see if people want to cover the bald look. It's funny, I got many comments about my pretty shaped head, ha.I think they were stretching it a bit, but I looked pretty healthy, too. Never have I looked sick during this cancer thing. I think a lot of women wonder WHAT we look like bald, maybe don't want to find out this way, but...ha. I now plan to keep hair short, love the new "body" my hair has. My sister was joking that she might shear her hair off to get the body back, I reminded her I lost the hair from the roots, so it's really new hair. I like the ease of the short hair, forgot how neat it was to wash and roll' with short hair. So liberating and easy. Since I still had more treatments, it just was simple. Do whats comfortable for YOU, don't worry about hair, your'e still you and wonderfull! debnova -
well, just 7 more days to go until my 17 year old daughter and I go to the doctor to find out about the lump she found on her breast. I know that the chances that this will turn out to be for the the best is pretty good. At least that is what I keep telling her. But to myself I can't help but think of the other alternative. I am actually scared to death. I don't let her see that though. She is only 17, and I can't think of any reason that this should be happening to her. It should be me. I am making myself sick over this every day. I can't eat, sleep, or even function normally. I just don't know why it's not me instead of her, because she is my life, and I can't stand to see her suffer. I know that when the time to be strong has come though, I will be there every step of the way.
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So sorry for this awful moment in your lives, Lucy. Waiting is horrible. I do hope the outcome is positive.
Très bon courage à vous et votre fille
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I'm new to this, diagnosed in June, double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction in July and just started chemo last week. I reacted very badly to the chemo and threw up for 5 days straight. (Felt like a supermodel ha, ha) They assure me that they will "play" around with things and make it better. I hope so, until now I've had such a positive attitude. I'm so glad I found this website too, very comforting to know that people out there understand. Don't you hate it though when you tell people and they feel compelled to share stories about people who did not make it?? New rule in life, when meeting someone with cancer only speak of strong survivors!!
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Went to my Club des Jeunes today after six weeks absence. They were all amazed at my thick mop of hair. Yet I can recall looking at my unlovely bald head and thinking I would be like that for ever, of struggling to get out of a chair and thinking I would be for ever weak, of bracing myself not to scream with the pain in my shins and thinking nothing would ever relieve it.
Some days now are practically painless, fulfilling - dare I say "happy".
For those ahead of me - thx for being an inspiration: for those who follow please believe that "this too shall pass."
ps Club des Jeunes is a joke - a very French joke: Thursday club is actually for the over 55's
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Very cute! My 5 year old liked to try on my wigs and scarves. I hate the fact that these little children had to see us go thru this experience!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I lost most of my hair to chemo treatment, TC...
I told one of my neighbors that it was worse losing my hair than my breasts... I told him "the two things that make me a woman are gone - my breasts and my hair"... he got so upset!
Today, I was wearing a new wig that I bought, so now I have two wigs... one is short, curly and red... the other is long, straight and red.Anyway, today, my neighbor and his wife are so nice! Marie asked her husband, Sam, what he thought of my hair. He said, "You're HOT!"
That was so nice! It made me feel good, almost as pretty as I USED to feel, before all this BC stuff came and took away my femininity!Harley
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I found out 2 months ago I have breast cancer. I so appreciate the support of woman who have /or had cancer touch their lives.
I will start radiation but unfortunately I have complications due to the 1st surgery. Hopefully I can begin the 1st of 33 treatments soon.
Cancer does stink but the support of everyone is awesome.
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I am a newbie. Previous posts under "Just Diagnosed". I have invasive carcinoma, lobular and ductal of the left breast with four positive nodes out of 19. Had lumpectomy and lymphodectomy on the 12th. Liver and lung scan yesterday. Bone scan on the 24th. Will learn my results on the 25th.
A friend just called to see how I was doing. I told her "I'm planning for the worst and hoping for the breast". I actually said that. We had a good laugh.
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Welcome, Lionessdoe,
Yes, bc stinks!, but it WILL get better! I was SO scared when I got my dx...
My neighbor says "plan for the worst and hope for the best"... I like your version of it better... it seems appropriate, in our case...
Good Luck! I'll be thinking about you...
God Bless,
Harley
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When I started to lose my hair I tryed a short haircut. It seemed less traumatic to lose short hair than long hair and it seemed perfect timing since my hair was temporary. My husband liked the haircut so well that he asked me to keep it that short when it grows back.
I knew people would be curious so I decided to meet the problem head on. The next day I posted the top ten reasons for my new do on my cublicle. They were:
•1) I told the stylist to get rid of the gray.•2) It seemed like an easy way to loose a little weight.•3) I bet Larry (a guy who sits near me at work) that I could get a shorter haircut than Mary (gal who sits near me at work who has short hair).•4) I told the stylist I wanted my money's worth.•5) I asked for a bob and I think the stylist gave me a Bob D. (a guy at work who has short hair).•6) Someone had to show Dave (a guy at work who has a long pony tail) how boys should wear their hair.•7) The hair dresser thought she was getting paid by the ounce.•8) I can't afford hair spray, shampoo and gas.•9) My husband kept hinting that he thought boys were cute.•10)It was time to deal with the chemo hair loss and thank God that the breast cancer was caught early. DON'T PUT OFF MAMMOGRAMSThis broke the ice to my co-workers who were very supportive. The following day I brought in a wig and some hats. I asked everyone to vote for the wig look or the hat look. I didn't give them bald look as an option but some people wrote that down. Several people thanked me for being so open. My goal was to make people aware of how important mammograms are
Now, I am almost hair free. I have a few wisps left on my head. I usually wear newsboy style hats and big earrings. I think the hats are a little more comfortable than the wig.
Every good day is a GOOD DAY.
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Welcome, teamdewees!
Wow! That was a very positive post!
I wish I felt that positive about my hair loss... but I think I have dealt with it ok... it was the hardest thing to deal with...But, getting rid of the bc and making sure that it NEVER COMES BACK is the most important thing right now!
Good Luck!
Post often, and let us know how you are doing.
Harley
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