Starting chemo Sept 05

This is somewhat off topic.A little back ground. My youngest daughter Pam has a pretty rocky relationship with her dad (my ex) but wanted to spend the summer with her sister Naomi (she will be 17 in sept and pam 15). Naomi just got a car/drivers license and first job so I thought it was the ....I really want to be able to go because my sister has a CAR....

Well even though I really did not have the money I got her a plane ticket (made her pitch in 100 towards it since she wanted it so bad). Pam left last Saturday so I will be spending the whole summer alone (Husband is not here and not reachable by phone so we only have letters at the moment). I am still in treatment every three weeks with herceptin and doing ok other then being very very tired.

I got a letter in the mail yesterday from my ex mother in law (my ex lives on her property with his 6 or 7th wife). Her and I actually kept in contact quite often and she even visited March 06 with Naomi for spring break. The letter stated that my daughter Naomi dropped out of school/got her GED - in the very top percentiles/got a job/got a car/ registered for college in the fall. I about fell out of the chair as my daughter is on my cell phone plan and we talk all the time. Well the graduation ceremony is saturday and since no one told me I do not have the money to buy a plane ticket to be there (I think from talking to my girls last nightthat is why they left me out of the loop...they knew i really cannot afford to go plus be off from work). I feel excluded, hurt, unwated...you name it I had that going through my mind last night.

Do I write back my ex mother in law and give her a piece of my mind for not telling me? Do I confront my girls...after all they are almost 15 and 17 and made an adult decision to exclude....or just let it all go....

I am so frustrated and I knew all you ladies are so wise...would help me with this painful situation (to top it all off had herceptin last week and hurting like BLEEP)

Tina

Well I called my ex mother in law and she was unaware my oldest had not told me. I think they were in their own way trying to protect me because I really do not have the time off from work nor the money to go anywhere. I am a little concerned about flying on a Friday and then that Sunday since I already am having problems with lymphadema. As much as I would like to go I will be missing this event.

Calico...wish you luck on your appointment. Everything will be just fine

Peg...thanks for sharing

I am going to be involved with a dedication on August the 17 to the Morgan Welch Inflammatory Breast Cancer Research dept at MD Anderson in Houston, TX. Due to Mogans sad story I pushed to get my diagnosis and through her stuggles (and susequent death) she saved mine. I will be forever eternally grateful to her for this and I should get to meet her Widower at the dedication.

I sure wish I felt better physically as it seems like the herceptin makes the neurapathy worse. Maybe I am just tired but I sure am achy too.

Hi all!

Big hugs to everyone- I have missed you all!! I have been flat out as usual but needed to check in with you all at long last.

Tina, I am sorry to hear that you are a feeling so cut off by your daughters and can understand where you are coming from. I would definately talk to them to try and figure out what they were thinking.

Calico, positive thoughts coming your way for your tests. I think it is that time of year for all of us at the moment. As for the rads with your mum, I had 1/8 positive and rads was part of my treatment plan.

So pleased all your tests came back okay Liezel though it is a bit of a worry with the dizziness. I have been having some dizziness as well and am going for a brain scan on Friday- did you have one of those?

Well as well as my brain scan I am having a chest, abdominal and pelvis CT scan on Friday as part of my monitoriing. I havnen't had a scan in nearly 8 months which is a long time for me (I have been pushed out from 3 months) and despite the mad panic I am now in I have felt better for not being so closely monitored. I have even been able to 'forget' a little and move into normality a little more. All the fears are back in full force now though so although I hate to ask can you please keep me in your prayers?

All my tumor markers have been great- I get them taken every 3 weeks when I get my herceptin. Yep I am still on herceptin- it has been 18 months. I am not sure when I will come off it, my onc told me last week that my heart is functioning fabulously and while that is the case he sees no need for me to come off it since my liver lesions are of "indeterminable origins". He is not prepared to offically state they ARE mets but will certainly not state they are NOT. Off the record he said he thinks of me as stage II so I guess that is something!! I get down about being so tied to the hospital (herceptin every 3 weeks, zoladex every 4weeks, onc every 6weeks) and would love to get this port out but while everything is going along smoothly who am I to rock the boat I suppose!

Scott is away AGAIN this time for 5 weeks. He always seems to be away when I have scans!! Grrr. I am looking forward to having him home permanently soon and seeing how things progress.

Ooh and I started working again last week. It is for a few hours most days and fits in well with the kids. It is busy with scott being away and me having to do the kindy drop off, work, pick them up, etc etc but I am certainly too busy to think about cancer! I am pretty tired and get run down rather easily but I am sure that will sort itself out once I am in a proper routine.

My love to you all
Leanne
xoxoo

Hi guys....

Happy Birthday Maxine!!!!!!
Hope you had a great day!!!

Leanne,
hope you will be fine...I thought they gave you a "not mets" decision for the liver back then?? What stress!!!
I hope all will be good on your check up.
You do have your plate full but distraction is good, do you like your job?

I moved my appointment to July 12 (that will actually be more than 4 month from last time), my onc is gone for a couple of weeks and I wanted to wait after Mexico to have no germs whatsoever affect my labs...any fluctuation would drive me nuts out of fear.

I have hip pain and hope it is age/Femara/degeneration...I am super scared, have to get Turmeric, I am out since over a week and no time to go to Whole foods...we had painters for the outside and it was hell...
Hopefully the supplements help....does anyone take DIM?? read on the forum it is good, I will try it.

God Bless

Hi lovely ladies

Well I had my scans today and (miraculously) got my results an hour later and all is GREAT!!! Sooooo relieved. I feel as though I can breathe again. I also have been having dizziness and headaches so was really worried about my brain scan but thankfully all is fine.

Calico I have also heard great things about DIM but have never taken it. Also keep meaning to get some tumeric but haven't as yet. I need to improve so many areas of my life/lifestyle. I had a nap today for over 2hrs while the kids were at kindy so I must have needed it! I keep feeling a bit run down so really must eat better and get my motivation for exercise. Ugh. I just can't get excited about exercise at all. And I wonder why I have put on a few kilos???!

Hope you are all continuing to do well


xoxoxooxoxo

Hi all

Linda, how’s things with your sister?

Peggy, your daughter is beautiful, but then so is mum ;-)

Tina, I am hurting for you – you have spoken up, now let it go over your head and move on. I can well understand you wishing to meet Morgan’s Widower and I would think he will get some satisfaction from seeing you too.

Liezel, you are having a rough time but hey, all those tests and NED. We WILL all be celebrating our 3 year anniversary on these boards Liezel. I don’t know Liezel, I would struggle to cut out all red meat – I sometimes think everything in moderation, but I am no expert.

My friend sent me this to have a look at – what do you think ladies?

http://www.canceractive.com/page.php?n=1430

Leanne, slap on the legs – don’t ever think you can’t ask us to keep you in our prayers. Goodness, Leanne, how on earth are you going to fit in work as well – you are truly a marvel and I was sooooooo pleased to read your good news, keep up the good work and don’t push yourself too hard, I sense you are very down at the moment.

Susan, chin up, I also sense you are still feeling very down – offload here when you get the chance.

Oh, I have mammogram appointment – next Thursday morning to be followed by Onc appointment on 10 July. I am doing OK, work is slotting in OK and I have just undertaken to do some online exam marking which should be fun ;-)

Well ladies, have a good weekend – weather is absolutely awful here with lots and lots and lots of rain.

Sandra from the UK

My yougest actually took lots of pictures and sent me some of the graduation so that helped but not quite the same. The girls have been so busy enjoying each others company that I do not get much contact from them at the moment but hopefully the summer will go by quickly.

It looks like everyone is doing well ...I have herceptin again on Wednesday! Leanne....I can relate to the continuing of herceptin...I just hope after a year my doctor will let me off ...I am so glad to not have anymore scans (other then a heart echo in another month or so) until October.

I am off to go fit this lady I a making her wedding dress. They are getting married on 7-7-07. I should be able to finish this up later today after this prelim fitting. I am also making the maid of honor dress. At least with this prooject I have not had much time to think about anything!
I used to be a seamstress in my past life.....LOL

As you can see from my writing I am in much better spirits and thank you all for you support...as always...

tina

Hi all

Just poking my head in to say hello and see how my lovely sept sisters are going!

Tina so glad you are feeling in better spirits and you must be SO clever to be making a wedding dress! I always wished I could sew.

I was just wondering how everyone's moods are?? I am just the cranky lady from hell at the moment! I am still on my AD's (although as I type this I remember I haven't taken them for 2 days...) and am sleeping okay at night (as well as can be expected with little kids!) though admit I am always tired. I am CRAVING sugar like anything to the point where I will open a can of condensed milk and eat it with a spoon!! Last night I polished off a whole pack of choc biscuits... Oh and I am craving coffee worse than usual too. I just go insane if I don't have one when the feeling strikes.

Anyone else?? I am not exercising AT ALL though feel guilty about it and just moan about the weight I am gaining. I am not big by anymeans but I have always been rather skinny so the added 5-8kgs are really bugging me and forcing me out of my clothes!!

I am not depressed feel well, like the new job etc it is just these crazy angry, rage feelings and the sugar cravings are driving me (and I suspect everyone else) up the wall.

I am thinking of seeing a homeopath.

Suggestions ladies??

Love as always
Leanne
xoxoxoxo

Calico-

nope not pregnant! Well I hope not I am on zoladex injections monthly and scott hasn't been home in over a month

xoxo

Hi again!

I am on zoladex injections so maybe that is it?? Maybe I am just a crazy menopausal lady...

I have made contact with a biochemist nutritionist who is mainly helping me with some issues with my 4yr old but is also looking at my diet as well. I will let you know how I get on!

My son has been just so hard to handle. You may remember I often have issues with him and he was seeing a child psychologist for severed anxiety, post traumatic stress (due to my illness) and was dx'd with oppositional defiance disorder as well. Well we thought this could be controlled with behaviour management and further restrictions on his diet but now we are not too sure. I am trying this biochemist nutritionist first before resorting to ADHD drugs. Really stressful.

Anyway on a positive note I am getting hair extension today!! I am flying down to Sydney to stay with a friend and get them there. Yes I could have gotten them here but am making an overnight, kid free trip out of it. I am leaving in a few minutes!

I will post pics when i get back

xoxoox

Well for an update ....We have been so swamped at work that you cannot breathe between calls....they are trying to hire some more people but in the meantime the extra stess is not doing me any good. One good thing...the dresses are finished!I will try to post a picture of them next week.

As for the girls...first off they are ok....but got into a car wreak and Naomi's car got totaled. My oldest lives in a rural area and a 4x4 pick up came over in their lane so Naomi got as far over and the gravel pulled them into a ditch. To make matters worse this was a hit and run accident. Well my ex mother in law helped Naomi get a newer car so she can get to work and school this fall.

As for my treatments....it seems the week after hereptin I am totally exhausted and need a lot of sleep but cannot seem to. I also had a little bit of a blow that has been hard to follow. My oncologists mom had breast cancer return after 15 years and passed in less then 3 months. I have been having a hard time dealing with this to say the least. It hit way to close too home.

I am so tired of the rain I could just scream! Thankfully everything is ok and the floods have not directly impacted us.It has mainly hit west and nw of the city in some of the more rural areas.

Take care all my september sisters!

I pent a nice quiet 4th of July. I sure needed it.

Hi All,

Leanne, you look great with the extensions! Still think of you as a blonde though...

Susan, so glad you had a good holiday!! I am still working on the liking it part, but we are slowly getting there.

Tina, just glad that your daughters are ok. I grew up in a rural area, and know how quickly that can happen. Happened to my mother once (broken shoulder blade), and my sister (bruised ego).

Maxine, glad to hear the nerves are ok. Hope they find the problem soon!

I moved into my new house last week! Absolutely love it. There are still a few boxes in my study, but the rest of the house is livable. Even had a bday party for my 4yr old this weekend!

Leanne, a few weeks ago my son's school asked that we have him tested for ADD. He turned out fine, but the OT suggested that we put him on Melatonin, and the results has been amazing. It seems to calm him. His report from school last week was still not good though. EMotional outbursts, crying, etc. I am taking him to a body talk therapist next week. I have been seeing her for a while, and she seems to think she'll be able to help him. I'll let you know how it goes. From my side though, it really has been amazing.

I hope you all keep well. Good Luck with all the tests, etc. coming up. Having my reconstruction done on 01 August, with preventative mast and reconstruction on left side. Port also coming out then. Can't wait.

Liezel

Just been catching up on everyone.

Sandra, hope your doctor's appointment goes well.

Peg, we'll all be waiting to hear your results from your MRI. A trip to Hawaii...how nice!

Tina, Glad your daughters are okay. My son will be getting his license soon and the back roads he will need to drive over to get to school are narrow and curvey...and everyone drives too fast on them. My only reassurance is that he'll be driving a full size Bronco (like a full size pickup truck). It's hard when kids keep things from you.

Susan and Tina, it's so hard when someone close dies from this awful disease. But sometimes I think it helps us to focus more on beating this disease...and I truly think we can!

My onc seems to think that Femara will protect me. Yet I continually read and hear about women getting this back. I try not to focus on it. I just wish my onc wanted to do routine screenings at least once a year. (He has me have a mammo, but that's it.) I know with every ache and pain you feel that it's back. While screenings can give you false positives...which should lead to more screenings...isn't that better than just wondering and worrying?

I just came back from a quick (only gone four days) trip to upstate NY visiting family. I haven't been in three years and we had a family gathering at my brother's house. What really bothered me was my sister's reaction to me. She acted like I wasn't even there. She's 6 years older than I am, and she's put on a lot of weight (but so have I, lol). I would have thought she would want to talk to me about everything I've been through in the past two years, but she didn't. I just don't know...
On the other hand, my mom (who is 80) kept talking to my kids when I wasn't around that they need to help out more, that I might not be here in 5 or 10 years...I want positive thoughts, not negative. Yes, I want to be realistic, but the doctor felt my chances of recurrence are only 2 or 3 percent...that means my odds are in my favor. How do you all handle this type of situation? I know she's worried about all the work this farm has, but what she doesn't realize is that this is what I WANT to do...this may be hard, physical work, but it keeps me focused on life, not this disease. Any advice?

Well I need to go...my thoughts and prayers are with you all. Janet

Hi everybody, I just tried to catch up a little. I have not been posting and reading as much these last months because of the situation with my sister.

She was moved to a rehab facility June 1st and has improved cognitively a great deal. She can speak a bit, and express her wishes, and the rehab therapists (physio, OT, speech) are simply fabulous. Sadly, her physical progress does not match her mental progress - she cannot walk, and cannot even turn over in bed, because of the right side weakness (they do not call it "paralysis"). Now that she understands more, she is also often really upset about the future and it makes me feel awful beyond words. She may have to go to a nursing home after she is discharged in August - she needs full time care.

This has been so distressing to me - she is only 60, lived alone and independent, and never complained, and now she will never be independent again.

As for me, I feel well, and have been keeping busy. Isaac is doing amazingly well! I am so happy and grateful - he understands a lot, and has started saying a few words. Before his implant he was so obviously a deaf baby - he was totally silent (no baby noises) and you could only get his attention by going directly in his face. Now he interacts w. everyone, and plays beautifully. Yes, its a major handicap to be deaf, but what a difference the implant has made. He still had audio-verbal therapy four times a week, so my daughter is super busy.

When I was having treatment, I was posting on a thread for August 2005 chemo starters. The thread is gone, and I have not seen any posters from it continuing here.

We have a cottage on Lake Simcoe an hour from the city so we have been spending weekends there. Nice and relaxing, but not great weather this summer. There has been a lot of subdivision construction in the area (it is sort of a bedroom community to Toronto and Barrie) and it has lost a lot of the country feel, but we still like it.

My 25 year old daughter is coming back from a three week vacation to Prague and Israel - she had a great time, and took a scuba diving course in Eilat, which she loved.

Linda