Starting Chemo in JAN 2007
Comments
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Mel what beautiful pictures! You look great too and I hope you're doing better now. We had a nice july 4th but glad to be back home and now planning on starting work next week. Today I had the expected aches from the last taxol but one percocet took care of it. I'm ready to return to the working world now.
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Hey gals,
Got a chuckle from this thread last night--when I needed some entertainment--at about 2 am and I just woke up and I couldn't sleep...about HAIR. Hey gals, it's comin back!!!! Ain't it!!! Be PROUD!
Robbin Jaye, you're clearly the front runner, but we knew you'd be...you have such great hair growing skills!!! Lynn, your hair looks just like mine...No fair, I've been growing mine a few months longer than you have! Mel, I don't know if that's your real hair, but you look terrific.
Rebecca & Jan, Damn, peach fuzz!!! What's next?!!! You know, when I hit menopause, I stopped growing hair in certain places. I never have to shave under my arms or legs or even wear deodorant. After a few weeks on femara a few stray hairs started popping up on my legs. But unfortunately, my "Public hair" just is woefully thin.
All this talk about hair and I couldn't resist wanting to share a nice air about hair from good ol George Carlin (for those of us who are old enough to remember!!).Quote:
George Carlin on HAIR
I'm aware some stare at my hair.
In fact, to be fair,
some really despair oer my hair.
But I don't care, cause they're not aware,
nor are they debonair.
In fact, they're just square.
They see hair down to there,
say, "Beware" and go off on a tear!
I say, "No fair!"
A head that's bare is really nowhere.
So be like a bear, be fair with your hair!
Show it you care.
Wear it to there.
Or to there.
Or to there, if you dare!
My wife bought some hair at a fair, to use as a spare.
Did I care?
Au contraire! Spare hair is fair!
In fact, hair can be rare.
Fred Astairs got no hair, nor a chair,
nor a chocolate eclair,
And where is the hair on a pear?
Nowhere, mon frere!
So now that I've shared this affair with my hair,
I think Ill repair to my lair and use Nair,
Do you care?
DH and I loved this lyric, and about twenty years ago we spent a whole weekend adding new lyrics. It got so everything we said to each other had to rhyme; we almost couldn't STOP!!! (Egad, just think if we hadn't, what my posts would look like!!!)
Here's another.Quote:
BEARD
Here's my beard,
Ain't it weird!
Don't be sceered
Just a beard!
I'm W A I T I N G to show my new wigs off. You know, they STILL haven't arrived from Paula Young!!! I called Friday and they said by July 15. You know, my hair has grown at least 3/4s of an inch since I ordered them!!!
Grrrr!! I NEED hair for my vacation in Maine. Maybe if I really concentrate on it I can grow 6 inches by dint of effort!!!! Do I need Viagra?
xxxooo Mizsissy -
Hey there gals I am postin in here to read and send a little line in . Am just getting up and gettin ready to head back down to Toronto for rads . Got 3 1/2 more weeks to go , and yes I am tired already . The last surgery took alot out of me and I am finding it harder this time around to get my energy back . This is a slow process and I am not planning going back to work until at least the end of Sept. Got some holidays to get in and have to get my strength back . The rads are startin to burn me , did not know that the radiation goes right through you , my back is getting red too . So I apply lotion 3 times a day and stay out of the sun !!!!
Here is a pic of me and my daugters from 4 years ago at Lake Louise , used to work there ! I was a waitress in the main dining room in the summers when I was going to college . Its a great place to stay but very popular and expensive ! The Chateau is one of the great hotels of the world and you have to book years in advance . ( check out me with hair ahhhhh one day yes it will be back )
Joni great place eh !
Its hard to respond to all , I have read all of the posts and it looks like we are all weathering the summer yahooo the summer , i like it even though its hot and humid here it does not last long .....
hello to all hope you have a great week .... i read the posts every day .... see ya next weekend ! -
Mizsissy - Good to hear from you, although I am sorry that you couldn't sleep. Love the George Carlin.
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Hey Mel, I am in my final week of radiation (I have had 29 sessions, 4 more to go). I have been able to work full-time the whole time. I do have some fatigue, but I don't know if that is because of the radiation, or because I can wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep again. I prefer not to get up at 3:30. Anyway, I am not tired at work at all. As a matter of fact, I have an undergraduate student working with me right now, and he falls asleep on me Anyway, if you want to work, it might be possible to do so.
I appreciate all the postings. Most of the time I just read them. I love the pictures. My hair is quite full, it seems to fill in faster than it gets long, but I have a lot of eyelashes, more than I had before. They're just not as long as they were, but that will come. I am even using mascara.... My hair is quite white with some dark hairs in them. The oncology nurse told me that the white hair is the women's biggest complaint. Also I also have a fuzz on my face, but it's white - yeah. Oh, and today I went in for my radiation and did not have to paint in my eyebrows. It seems that as soon as I pulled the last ones out, the new ones started growing, so, technically, I was without lashes and eyebrows for just a few weeks. I still have trouble with neuropathy in my feet, and it has been 2 months now since my last chemo. I even had a nasty fall the other day that scratched up both knees pretty badly. -
Hey all, I'm back for a few days or so. It was a nice week but the new dog was being his puppy self and barking up a storm, stressing everyone out. So we are back and trying to figure out what to do next. I am used to being in Maine the entire summer so I'm not sure what we will do around here to keep busy and/or what we will do about the dog.
I feel terrible but I just am not sure I have it in me to train a puppy. He is wonderful and I never thought I would be one of *those* type of owners, but I'm just not sure we can handle him right now. The week of barking stressed me out to no end. And although I felt like I was dealing with my BC journey pretty well, I didn't realize how on the edge I was. This latest test was just one test too many even though it seems like a relatively minor thing.
AND on top of all that, my father has been diagnosed with lung cancer and will start chemo/rads next week. He is 70 and smoked for 50 years, so it's not really all that unexpected. His prognosis is relatively okay. The dr said years, not months but he just doesn't know how many. That's just one more stressor in my life right now.
I guess I'm trying to justify giving the dog back. He has done nothing wrong. It's just that we dove into it without considering how much work it would take and the impact that would have on our lives right now. I go back to work in Aug as well and that is yet another source of worry/stress for me.
On top of all that, I continue to have a really difficult time making decisions. I think it's the chemo brain lingering but I hate it. I cannot make the simplist decisions so I tend to not make any.
So sorry to show up and dump this out. I really wondered how long I could continue on my merry way without it hitting the fan. Now it has. I keep finding myself going from stressed to guilty and worried and back again. I think it might be time for some professional help. -
Amera - I'm really sorry to hear about your dad.
Have you thought about getting a dog trainer for the puppy? Our youngest dog was a MONSTER as a puppy - hyper, barking, bouncing off the walls, etc. We found a great dog trainer that did 8 sessions at our house with me and the puppy. It was fun. I learned so much (even though we've always had a dog). It was well worth the money. When we first adopted Luke he drove everyone nuts, even the dog trainer said he was one of the most difficult dogs he'd ever seen. Now I regularly get comments about how well behaved he is, how great he walks on a leash, etc.
The other plus for me is that both of our dogs need walks every day. It forces me to get regular exercise and it keeps them so much calmer.
It might be too much for you and that's OK if it is.. just a thought. -
Amera - Sorry to hear about your father. Glad however the prognosis seems fairly good. However, as you say, it's more stress than you need.
Re: the dog - My brother and SIL also hired a dog trainer to do alot of the training in the beginning. As Jan suggested, you could think about this, but if it is all too much for you - GET RID OF THE DOG - YOU are the most important thing right now - your health, your young family. And if you have to start work again in a few weeks, that will bring on more stress.
Run, do not walk, for professional help if you feel you need it. I saw a psychologist almost weekly in the first 2 months after my dx - a lovely woman, really helpful. Ask your onc.'s office for a woman dr./counsellor who has a lot of BC patients - this makes a big difference. I really hope you will do this.
Mizsissy, glad you are back. Loved the George Carlin rhyming - your relationship with your hubby sounds great - I cannot image walking around rhyming with my DH, it sounds like alot of fun.
Sharon - have a great week in the lodge. It sounds like you are having a good rest there.
Mel - You look great, and that mast. boutique sounds amazing.
Nothing special here. Did about 6 loads of laundry, in the office - I feel pretty energetic, but I am going to lie down now for a bit.
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I know I can't believe our hair is growing back. I even got a date.... I use to work in an antique consignment shop before the cancer and one of the customers that use to come in all the time I had a crush on. I never said anything. I was at a yard sale with my mom last weekend and he was there. He said, "Robbin, why did you shave your head?" I told him about the cancer and treatment. He seemed very understanding. Then today, my friend that still works at the antique consignment shop called me and told me he came in and wants to take me for a ride on his motorcycle. He left his cell number for me.
Im all...What? Who would want to go out with me knowing I had cancer and I look like this?
Very weird. I'm getting more looks now than I ever did with my long beautiful hair.
Hum... Maybe I'll like it short. Who knows.
Other than that, I am still so tired even though I am done with rads. The rads kicked my butt!!!! I see my BC surgeon for a follow up next month and I'm sure he's gonna' force the Tamoxifen on me. I still don't know about that.
What do you guys think??? My cancer was ER and PR positive. I was premenopausal but my period hasn't come back yet. I am so scared of all the side effects.
Your suggestions will help me. I know I should atleast TRY to take it. -
Hey, Robbin, good for you, getting a date! You go, girl! It just goes to show you, it's not all about hair. I expect a lot of us will end up with short hair after this is over. Anyway, I hope you called the guy back - if not, pick up the phone and call him!
Regarding tamoxifen, I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I would do. My cancer is ER/PR negative, so tamoxifen won't help me at all. But if I thought there was even the slightest, tiniest chance that tamoxifen would help me or prolong my life, I'd take it in a heartbeat! None of my friends who are on it have had any serious side effects from it - and I've done a lot of preop interviews on people who are on it who didn't have any major complaints, so my conclusion is that, while there are definitely side effects that are possible, most people do pretty well on it. What is it about tamoxifen that you are so worried about, specifically?
Like I said, I can't tell you what to do, but it is my hope that if your doctor recommends tamoxifen or one of the other similar drugs, you'll take it.
Hugs, -
Robbin I agree with Mel. Why not just take the tamoxifen. You can always choose to stop taking it if you have serious problems. I haven't had any terrible side effects since I started it. Frankly, the side effects would have to get pretty d*mn bad for me not to take it. I figure putting up with hot flashes is a piece of cake compared to having bc again.
I love the story about the guy leaving his number for you. You must look great with that short hair!
I was in Target today and a lady walked up to me and told me that she loved the highlights in my "hair." I just smiled, said thank you and started to walk away. Then she stops me and wants to know where I get my hair done! So I just smiled and told her "It's a wig." Well, she just stood there completely stunned and didn't say another word. I guess the wig looks better than I thought. -
Several months ago someone suggested that I sign up for the free newsletter, etc. on the Amoena web site. They say when you sign up that they will send free gifts occasionally. Well, they sent a cute pink ribbon pin, then a month or so later sent a really nice cookbook, and today I received foot lotion, and a clinique lip gloss set along with their magazine. Not too bad for free. Their magazine usually has some good articles in it too. So - go sign up if your interested. The web address is www.amoena.com and look for the sign up for "Club Ameona."
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Robin, a date? That's terrific, have fun! I cannot believe all the hair you have. Mine still seems pretty short but I can now at least wear a baseball cap and not look really bald. I don't get too many of those looks with the hat on.
Well, DH took the dog back to the shelter. He made the decision I just could not. The girls and I are heartbroken and I feel like a total sh-t, and I should. He has done nothing wrong. We actually did 5 weeks of training and he picked up commands really well. However, it is just too much right now.
I think that if I hadn't been to hell and back over the past 9 months and if it weren't for my dad's situation, I could handle to extra attention needed for a puppy. I feel like a failure that I cannot handle it right now, but I just cannot. -
Amera, You are not a failure. Puppies are a ton of work. You tried and it didn't work. Don't beat yourself up about it. You have more than enough to deal with.
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Hi all,
That last taxol really put me over the edge. I hardly had any s/e's until week 10. Then it hit me- each week got harder. All I know, thank G-d I am done!! I thought I missed the neuropathy. I got it for the first time yesterday and today. It feels like pins and needles. I am just hoping that since I just got at after my 12th treatment, maybe it will vanish as quickly as it came. I am also puffing out. I am taking 20 mg of lasix and I hope it will work. My oncologist only wants me to take it every other day and only gave me a supply for 30- no refills. Since I am finished with the taxol, maybe I will not need any more. I have 20 left. Heres hoping!!
Sorry to whine, but I am also totally wiped out. It sure is cumulative. Thats why I have not posted in a few days. I read all the posts though but for lack of strength, I will only respond to the last page. Mondays are usually my worst days, and this is the LAST Monday on taxol. Yeah!!! Hopefully it will be uphill from here.
Melia, Pat & Debbie,
How are you doing?
Amera,
Welcome back! I am sorry to hear about your father. I totally understand about not needing the added stress or guilt trying to adapt to your dog when you cannot handle it right now. I know I could not handle a new pet at this time. We have enough stress, you do not need more. Life has to be about your enjoyment and fun right now. You are not a failureyou are a winner and a survivor!!
Mel,
Great picture of you and your friend. Akumal looks like my kind of place- in my dreams right now. That would be a great reunion place!!!
Caya,
I have just been on weekly herceptin and so far no s/e. I will be starting the 3 week regimen this Thursday. I will let you know how it goes. Right now I am blaming all my s/es on the taxol.
Jan,
Thanks for the site. I just signed up.
RobbinJaye,
Your hair looks great. I am going to start taking tamoxifen soon. I would definitely try anything if they think it will help.
Viddie -
Robbin, congrats on the date. Jan, too funny about "I looooooove your hair, who does it?". Amera, ABSOLUTELY do not beat yourself up over the dog. When you got it, I was cringing...as I know my bichon stressed me out for MONTHS after we got him. They are just so much work...worse than a newborn, IMHO. Sorry about your dad and that he has to go through that... glad to hear his prognosis is good.
Robbin, PLEASE DO take the tamoxifen. Please! It's been like aspirin for me. I think it's so important if you are ER+. You do not want a recurrence. Do all you can. It's like a placebo, I swear.
Viddie, so glad you got through taxol w/out much neuorpathy, etc.
Well, ladies, I'm Myrtle Beached out. This "ain't the place for me". The condo's gorgeous, as I told you, but MB itself is super tacky. Thank God we are north of all that stuff. I think we need to check out Charleston. Heard that's gorgeous, more elegant, etc. I've been to Hilton Head and I know that's nice... I'm vaca'd out. -
Robbin, laughed at your comment about getting more looks now w/the short hair. I swear, I've noticed that too. I think it's so unusual looking, it's almost exotic looking. They could be staring for staring's sake, but... I do notice add'l attention and not in the "turtle" dept.
And extra hair...yep, have had that issue. One word: Nair. -
Yikes I'm behind in posts, spent most of the weekend working on book photos as the designer needed more and more, had to do 2 quick illustrations too, but it wasn't awful, just busy. I did get to church and brunch on Sunday and got a lot of questions about my wig and treatments but I didn't mind.
Mel, I vote Akumal, too. That beach is just too dreamy. As for rads tiredness, I have been able to work and also keep up with exercise as long as I don't overdo. When I stay up too long I start to feel ill and get bone aches.Also had mild nausea all weekend and a bit today too, feels like when I got the Herceptin too fast but I don't know what it's from. My gut feeling is that part time work probably would be no prob but full time could be iffy. The weird thing is that although I'm sleeping more hours, I'm still waking up every 2 hours so Caya, don't have too much sleep envy. Maybe the Herceptin is what's making me wake up so often, as it doesn't always seem to be hot flashes. It wouldn't surprise me if that is a Herc se. I get another dose of that this Wed. so maybe I'll find out if the waking up gets worse.
Rebecca I'm glad you had such a great time at the farm. I miss my parents' cottage where we could always pick raspberries.
Tina your place you are staying sounds fabulous! Enjoy to the max!
This little ditty came to me the other night while I was powdering my "radiated area" with cornstarch:
Naked came I from my mother's womb,
Baked came I from the radiation room.
Skye -
Robbin- I am completely on board with Mel, Tina and Jan. You should take the tamoxifen. The worst thing that happens is you stop taking itthe side effects are mild. Every time I have a hot flash I tell myself that it is better than the alternative, and I just go and wash my face or get a drink. My goal is to NEVER have to do chemo again, and the tamoxifen has a great track record in that regard. I take my pills gratefully. Congrats on the date .that is soooooo romantic. Keep us posted!
Amerayou are so not a failure. Dogs are a lot of work much less puppies. Do not be so hard on yourself. I have two dogs, and they are both GOOD dogs, but I am currently in the process of placing one of them in a new home because I can not deal with the chaos of two dogs and three kids. You did the right thing acknowledging that it was too much both for yourself and for the dog.
Viddie congrats on finishing! It is all uphill from here, and I will cross my fingers about the lasix and the neuropathy for you.
Jan LOL about that lady commenting on your hair. That is just too much. I imagine the expression on her face must have been a real Kodak moment. .
Skye I am glad that you were able to get your book issues all sorted out. I also wake up during the night multiple times. It is funny, but I often wake up right before a hot flash.
Love the ditty .I have the urge to finish the rhyme, but decided it would be tasteless.
Not too much to report here from Edison. An old friend from my grad school days in Buffalo is going to come to see me next week. Two more zaps to go .. -
Just read p. 159, still catching up.
Amera, welcome back and do not beat yourself up over the puppy anymore. It evidently just wasn't in the cards, and at his young age he will adapt quickly to the next family. I'm sure your family gave him a wonderful start, and you know dogs never forget anyone.
Robertin I was glad to see your post. You have a little more energy on the rads than I do. My eyelashes are much thicker too and also just started using mascara again this week. Last night I dreamed I was on a reality show and the makeup artist gave me eyelash extensions!
Mizsissy, glad you are posting again too. That Carlin bit is too funny. My dh and I also get a kick out of wordplay, he's a humorous guy. Thanks for sharing!
Robbin, I do hope you will share how your date turns out. That was the coolest story! And a big boost for the topless look.
Today I went out to my mailbox topless and saw a neighbor looking at me. He's a 40-something single pharmacist and the great irony is that he was wearing a brushy toupee (recently acquired) while I stood there with my scalpey-buzz cut. I just waved.
I put ol' red on so my son could take an author photo for this book I've been working on, I'll post it later for opinions. Ol' red looked better with my trademark hat than the new one.
Sharon, it's always good when you can get to the computer and let us know how you're doing. Viddie, feel better soon! Skye -
viddie glad you're DONE! Today (7/9) makes day 6 since last taxol and my side effects are about the same as they have been throughout. Pins and needles sensation off and on to my feet and hands, some swelling that the lasix 20mg once a day is handling well. Yesterday I again had bone pain to especially hips so I had to take a pain pill to sleep, but only tylenol during the day. My hair has been fuzzing up since the end of the AC but I'm still more scalp than hair so not topless yet. I just wish more than anything my eyebrows would grow out since painting them on as best I can still looks fake.
I'm back to work as of 7/16 and this Friday I see the surgeon and plan for the mediport removal. When do you get yours out?
Here's hoping side effects GO AWAY totally soon for all of us.
Pat -
Okay, here is the author pic we picked. I picked the outfit on rads brain and wonder now why I didn't pick a shirt that matched the skirt. Also do I look sickly? I could use an older photo if I need to. I always look sick to myself these days.
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Hey I'm jealous of you ladies getting dates and second looks!! I will say though that I've always had long hair and just before it fell out my hairstylest gave me a real short "pixie" cut and I went to Home Depot and suddenly these men are looking at me like never before. One man actually checked out and waited by his truck, smiled and waved at me as I passed by in my car. The new attention was really strange. I went home, looked in the mirror and I was still overweight....only the hair was different. Heck I'm staying short haired from now on!
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Wow Skye You look great with the cowboy hat! No you don't look sickly, it's just you know what you've been through but it does not translate into the pic. Pretty smile!
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Skye I love the picture. You don't look sick at all. You look relaxed and happy.
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Skye, you look terrific. Your skin looks luminous - use that picture.
RobbinJaye - I agree with the rest of the group - use the Tamoxifen. The benefits are said to be enormous to prevent a recurrence. Tomorrow is my Start Tamoxifen day - July 10th, exactly 2 months after my last chemo. I am also a bit anxious about starting it and the possible s/es - but I can live with them if I have to - the alternative doesn't look pretty.
I also have my appointment with my breast surgeon tomorrow afternoon - I'll post tomorrow and let you all know how it goes.
Amera - DO NOT FEEL GUILTY about the dog. You have to concentrate on you. This was not the time to get one, I'm glad your DH made that decision for you.
good nite all,
caya -
Skye- I also love the pic. You look great.
Pat--that is so funny about the looks after your haircut. I also had long hair before chemo, and I had it cut off fairly shortly after surgery. I got lots of compliments from people, mostly who did not know why had cut it off. Someone observed that many of us may wind up with short hair after all of this, and I have to say that I may be one of them! -
Thanks for all the kind thoughts ladies. I am still really sad and guilty but I know you are right. However, I feel so emotional about everything lately, that this has been a huge blow. I miss him a lot and don't think I'm being at all rational about it.
I meet with my rad dr today for my 6 week follow-up and the oncologist tomorrow for the 3 month visit. I will let her know how things are going. I assume they hear this kind of stuff all the time. I have really hesitated to taking any additional meds but really think it's worth looking into. I find myself very easilly provoked lately as well. -
Ooooh...what a wonderful subject! I just have to jump back in for a minute.
First of all, let me tell you my wigs arrived. One had been "cancelled by customer" (I did NOT!), three were blond by mistake, but one(1) was almost the right color and perfect!!! A very short pixish style. I'll get a photo soon.
I also found out that short hair was a lot more flattering than long hair right before chemo when I got my hair cut. I think it's because short hair frames your face and long hair just hangs.
Robbin Jaye...you go girl!!! That's very exciting about your date and we want to hear *all about it* !!!!!
Skye, your author's picture looks so relaxed and natural, no one would ever guess what you've just been through.
Amera, I know your heart is broken over that puppy, but you did what you had to do. Dogs have been so terribly inbred these days that many of them are just impossible; and our lifestyles have changed so much. Dogs just are not indoor animals. Try a cat!!! Cats are easy!!!
Mizsissy -
On the hair front, I have really noticed different looks when I go without the hat. I don't think most folks have experience with the "chemo cut" and either assume you were out of your mind when you cut it that short, or think you are hip and edgy. I prefer the hip and edgy although that's only with a lot of attention to makeup and accessories. It's getting long enough that the curls will become a problem. It's already sticking out here and there. I tried gel and it looked goofy. Not long enough yet. Not complaining, not complaining...
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