DOCTORS

Let me tell you about my doctor. He is very good.
If you tell him you want a second opinion, he will
go out and come in again.


He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three
years before he realized she was
Chinese.


Another time he gave a patient six months to live.
At the end of the six months, the patient hadn't
paid his bill, so the doctor gave him another six
months.


While he was talking to me his nurse came in and
said, "Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he is
invisible." The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see
him."


Another time a man came running in the office and
yelled, "Doctor, doctor, my son just swallowed a
roll of film." The doctor calmly replied, "Let's
just wait and see what develops."


One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a
serious memory problem." The doctor asked, "When did
it start? "The man replied, "When did what start?"


I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing
in my ears. His advice: "Don't answer it."


My doctor sure has his share of nut cases. One said
to him, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell." The doctor
gave him some pills and said, "Here, take these -
if they don't work, give me
a ring."


Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a
deck of cards. The doctor simply said, "Go sit over
there. I'll deal with you later."


When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places,
he told me to stop going to those places.


You know, doctors can be so frustrating. You wait a
month and a half for an appointment and he says, "I
wish you had come to me sooner."