I could use some encouraging words please

Nancy, hang in there. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm Stage IIIa and a 7.5 year survivor. The day will come when you realize you didn't think once about breast cancer that day. God bless.

Hi ladies,



What is about late at night fear?

I am Stage IIIa IDC with 5/11 nodes cancer , 4 extranodal into surrounding tissue.



I made my decision based on careful research and meditation and prayer and felt I made it without fear - what a gift. Chose Lumpectomy/partial mastectomy to just get cancer and clean margins and do Sentinel Node Biopsy and take it from there. Now I keep seeing signature diagnosis with others having MX and propalatic MX in other breast with Stage 1 and s lot of nodes removed with none of them cancer. Scares me! Makes me think I should have had a double mastectomy. Told husband I would have made a different choice if I knew it had gotten so seriously scary with extensive cancer in vascular and lymphatic channels that my oncologist says isn't as significant as the cancer in my nodes. He thought that was a depressing thought to dwell on. not dwelling but..Damn scary. Feel like I don't even want to look at signature lines to see what someone else has done, because it seems relatively extreme, but maybe I'm the one who made an extreme choice in the opposite direction. Glad that at least here Stage III others are seriously slammed although my throat chokes up to see how many of you have had more nodes removed with more cancer present. I hope we all survive with no recurrence. Bummed tonight.

sheilaB330...late night fear is so normal as well as doubts about decisions in regards to breast cancer. Breast cancer is very serious and therefore we try to make the best decision with the hope of best outcome. Since there is no cure and no 100% treatment that assures ourselves that that choice will save our lives we have to find peace in the decisions we make with what we have been told or educated ourselves with...so VERY hard. Hindsight is what we learn from not second guess ourselves...that will make us crazy!! You made a great decision with what you knew than and from what I understand stats show is just as effective as a BMX....hold on to the peace you had when you made your decision. 

My decision for a BMX was based on more of a personal emotion. I had found a "weird" thing in my left breast when I was 27...had mammogram showed to be clear. I had my first baby and nursed at 21..had two more babies before I was 28...fourth child at 35. No breast cancer in family as well as no cancer! Told my odds of breast cancer was VERY LOW. Went faithfully for mammograms, never drank, never smoked, weight down and so on...about 20 years later I feel something "weird" again in the same area...mammogram clear again...I ask to have breast removed...NO they say! Some time later I demand more testing...find out I am stage 3A!! I fought for 20 years to not have breast cancer...did everything right (there is no "everything right")...I just couldn't handle anymore breast issues! Wanted everything gone, I was so angry as I was told it was missed on at least 2 mammograms and with it being a grade 1 it should have never gotten so bad...it was there a long time...the pink early detection betrayed me!! So each has their reason and journey as to why they choose to do what treatment they did. 

Maybe it would help to  focus on what decisions, as far as life style changes and such, you want to make moving forward after chemo. You're a smart, wise woman and I hope you re-find your peace in treatment...just know we all question, at times, our choices as this is a tough fight and we all want to live!!