I can't get my act together and I don't know why

1…6791112…79

Comments

  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited June 2007

    oh what a wonderful idea...have your dh take the pic...you can email it to me if you want and I can edit it with the editing software I have. I can crop, do contrast adjustment, softening...all kinds of cool stuff. I'm sure that you will be simply stunning no matter what though so please do your portrait and be proud!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • hi5-2006Aug13
    hi5-2006Aug13 Member Posts: 62
    edited June 2007
    Not only did I leave my car running with the keys locked in it and not have spares but the other day I was packed to go spend the night with my daughter. She has the brca1 gene and flew into Vancouver to attend a 2 day workshop. Anyways I stopped at the mall, on my way out and was reaching for my purse and realized I hadn't brought it with me!!!! It's these kinds of things that make me wonder if I will get my act back together..... I will be having oopherectomy and hysterectomy in August.... will things get even worse? I am still working on my grad courses takes me a couple hours to read 50 pages and another couple to write a one page response...... I just can't seem to have information sink in...at least the course keeps my mind pre-occupied. My troubled adult son has been asked to leave two places he was living in in the past several weeks...I refuse to enable him and he is living on the street. I hope he gets it this time. I went to have a talk with my doc a few weeks ago, and said I was concerned that he may not realize how much stress everything is causing me.... bilat. Mya 2006, reconstruction and had to change ps, rads, discovered I had hypothyroid after rads, borderline diabetes now full diabetes, infected tooth needs surgery, huge lump on side of neck, nodules and goiter in thyroid, found out I had the brca gene and my daughter has it too... anyways he proceeded to tell me that I had problems coping and that he had patients with far more serious problems and they were doing much better!!!! Guess that's what I get for support.... wow what a journey it's been. This doc a few months ago told me that my symptoms were that of PTSD... funny how he forgot that...
    Anyone here got the gene: had oopherectomy? hysterectomy? what was recovery like? Thanks for all your support. ( aka hi5 on chat)
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mikeysmom
    mikeysmom Member Posts: 137
    edited June 2007
    OMG, I'm just starting tx and I feel the same as you girls who are done. Will I ever be "normal" again? I can't get motivated, I stay in what I slept in all day, and my house is disgustingly dirty to me. I haven't even had my first chemo!! I keep having this feeling that I've got less than 2 wks to get something done and then I'll be getting chemo. Well, I have that feeling cause it's true! I don't feel like working, talking to live people, cleaning, etc. Might consider asking for anti-depressants now!
    I had an abdominal hysterectomy 6yrs ago for reasons unrelated to BC. It hurt more than I expected (sorry! I hope you want the truth) and my recovery took about 8 wks. But no more periods was so worth the pain! I went on hrt and unfortunately just found out my tumor was ER+++. But can't go back in time, can we? I was 43 at the time. Your doctor sounds so insensitive! Find help somewhere else cause you are NOT ALONE!
    Cyndi
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • hi5-2006Aug13
    hi5-2006Aug13 Member Posts: 62
    edited June 2007
    Cyndi: thanks for the support.... when I told my therapist what doc said you could tell you was dumbstruck....I am going to be searching for someone else as soon as I have the energy. Yeah that feeling of lack of motivation is strong for me too.
    The surgeon said that I could have the hysterectomy and ovaries removed laproscopically.... I understand that is a less complicated surgery than the abdominal hysterectomy. She said 4-6 weeks recovery. I started taking effexor for anxiety and also take sleeping meds because I have sleep disturbances. I always say that I would be afraid to get down and depressed because I might not make it up again!!! are you going to go on tamoxifan? Apparently effexor helps with the se of tamoxifan and is the only anti-anxiety/anti- depressant you can take with tamoxifan. I would check to find out if it is compatible with the chemo. When do you start chemo? Talk to you soon and take care
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited June 2007
    it never ceases to amaze me how insensitive some oncologists are. honest to god, what's wrong with them..and why did they go into this field?


    good luck to you, cyndi, as you begin this journey. you are definitely in the right place. the girls here have really kept me going when i didn't feel like i even wanted to keep going.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited June 2007

    Feb - I am so sorry that you doctor was so very insensitive. I hope you can find an onc in your area who will be much more supportive. Hugs from denver, karen

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited June 2007
    Quote:

    oh what a wonderful idea...have your dh take the pic...you can email it to me if you want and I can edit it with the editing software I have. I can crop, do contrast adjustment, softening...all kinds of cool stuff. I'm sure that you will be simply stunning no matter what though so please do your portrait and be proud!



    i posted my first attempt. i need to learn how to pose while holding the camera. it's not easy.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mikeysmom
    mikeysmom Member Posts: 137
    edited June 2007
    thanks for the welcome! I really don't know what I'll be taking and I know he told me but...not thinking too clearly these days! He did suggest bringing in a written list of questions next week so I plan to do that and write down the details!
    If you can avoid the abdominal hysterectomy you definitely should. My greatest pain was due to the abdominal muscles being cut. It put a terrible strain on my back and I had a lot of pain when I even tried to lean over the sink to brush my teeth or wash my face. Turning over in bed was hard too.
    There are compassionate doctors out there--I hope you find one soon. Take care!
    Cyndi
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited June 2007
    Hello, I just wanted to stop by ....seems like I've been so busy.

    And I can't get my act together either....:)
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited June 2007

    welcome to the slacker thread, mary lou!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2007
    Oh my goodness, Cyndi, you remind me of me when I knew treatment was going to begin. Or was it when I knew I was going to see the surgeon first to find out if he thought I had bc before all the "big" tests? All I know is my husband was out of town and I did clean. I thoroughly cleaned my bedroom (not under the bed...didn't have any energy left) because I thought I'd be lying in bed all sick. Well, treatment surely wasn't fun, but I didn't stay in the bedroom. LOL

    Good luck on getting your house together. We'll be here for you when you start treatment.
    Shirley
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sahalie
    sahalie Member Posts: 2,147
    edited June 2007
    Patrice,
    How about typing or writing out your concerns, issues, questions and how you are feeling to give to your doctor.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited June 2007
    Patrice...I saw your pictures and they are great. Nice job...keep it up. I know you have the eye for it or you wouldn't be able to post so many beautiful pictures!
    Hugs
    Vickie
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited June 2007
    cheryl, not a bad idea...now if i can just get my act together enough to put it together. that's the rub. lol.

    vickie...thanks so much and also thank you for your offer to help me with the touch-ups. i may just take you up on it.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • genavive
    genavive Member Posts: 21
    edited July 2007
    Thank God! I am now 30, dX at age 29 and finished chemo Dec. 28th, 2006. All I've heard since I was diagnosed was how wonderful it is that I'm so young because I'll be able to bounce back so much quicker! Yeah Right. I too cannot seem to get my act together. I am taking tamoxifen and wake every day feeling like I am 90 years old. I feel guilty because I should wake up and think "Thank you God for another day." Instead I wake up thinking "Oh Shit, another day!" I am not bouncing back quickly. I feel tired all the time, achey, pain in joints, and I have know idea how to set any long or short term goals. I have three children and a husband. I don't know if I should plan to be here for 50 years or 5? I want to be positive but also do not want to be diluted. Of course the decisions and directions would be completely different if I had that crystal ball.
    Love you ladies! Genavive
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2007
    Bless you, Genavive. You ARE too young to be feeling 90. I was dxd at 58 (and 1/2) LOL. I don't know how you do it with three children. I had three children and I know I wouldn't have had the energy. How dare anyone say, "how wonderful" about this disease! I feel for the younger women on this board because so many of you have children and some have to work outside the home. I take my hat off to you!
    Shirley
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • althea
    althea Member Posts: 1,595
    edited July 2007

    genavive, I'm a big believer in looking for a bright spot anywhere in this journey, but I think it's just terrible that you got this disease at such a young age. I also take tamoxifen and feel much the same way you do. Many times I've shook my fist at the heavens and demanded to know why this devastation couldn't have waited another decade. I was just getting myself back together after a divorce when I was dx'd. There's never a good time for this disease I suppose, but 29 is just too young. The only good thing about this disease is all the awesome friends you find who are also affected by it.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited July 2007
    genavive:

    i too am so sorry you received this diagnosis at such a young age. It's you young girls that really break my heart and i can't stop saying, what the heck is going on? why are soooo many women, especially young women, getting diagnosed? When i was your age, i only knew one woman who had breast cancer. Now it seems there are sooo many. it has to be the environment. i discovered my lump last year at age 50 and my son was raised.

    i wish i had some words of wisdom to help you find your new normal, but i haven't been successful in finding mine yet. i've been eating a lot again and that just makes things worse. when i visited my oncologist last week, i didn't feel like talking. however, there was a lady in the waiting room waiting for her first chemo and i spent some time talking to her and was able to calm her fears about what lies ahead for her. a nurse from my breast center was there with her because the woman had been so afraid and has no family support. she said she was so happy we were able to talk and she thought i had a "terrific" attitude. inside i felt like such a sham, but i did feel good that she felt better. i'm going to call her today to see how she is faring.

    i'm one of the worst case examples of how to handle yourself post-treatment but an excellent pretender.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited July 2007

    after next week, i have 4 weeks off. i'm hoping to take another run at organizing at least my closet and some stuff i have piled on my dining room table. i can't believe i'm still struggling. haven't been posting too much lately cuz i'm sick of my attitude.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2007
    Patrice, I'm with you sadly to say. The only time I seem to get anything done is when my daughters visit. <sigh>

    I keep looking at my den carpet (and other floors) and tell myself daily I'm going to vacuum. <sigh again> I think I'll vaccum downstairs tonight. (maybe)

    I was thinking about you and wondering what "Patrice would do." LOL I'm tired, but I really can't seem to focus. That's probably my fault because I don't want to.
    Shirley <one more BIG sigh>
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited October 2007

    shirley-

    i think it's safe to say patrice would have said to you relax...don't vacuum. 

    i wonder if i'll have this pig sty cleaned up by christmas.     i'm thinking probably not.  we may just open christmas presents beside the boxes of christmas decorations strewn around the floor of my family room.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2007

    I'm putting out very little decorations for Christmas.  I hope to have a few put out by Thanksgiving cuz the grandchildren are coming.  We're going to Charlotte for Christmas, so no need to put out a tree for just dh and me.  Besides, the living room door stays closed so the cats can't get in there and scratch up the furniture therefore, I can't see the tree anyway.  Plus I'd have to put all that crap away by myself.  We need to get French doors so when I do put up a tree (when the grandbabies come) we can at least see it!

    Shirley

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited October 2007

    i'm pretty sure we're not putting a tree up this year either, shirley.  who needs more mess....we're not entertaining, obviously...i'd never let anyone in here right now...and my son probably won't be back from his trip anyway.  so why bother. 

    i don't even know why i said "open presents" because i don't think we're even going to do that...still  not in the mood for all that festive stuff. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2007

    I would be happy to stay home except I know we should see our grandbabies.

    How are you doing now since your stepdad has passed?  You still sound down about it.  It will get better with time.

    I used to get upset with my inlaws for not wanting to be "festive" like putting up a decent size tree.  Well, I now understand!

    We used to take turns having Christmas dinners (family).  We'd have quite a crowd and I loved decorating for Christmas THEN.  Not anymore.  But we haven't taken turns doing dinners anymore either which suits me fine.  LOL  All the cooking, cleaning and everything else that goes into it.....DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY! 

    Shirley

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited October 2007

    Year I was dx'd we put up a tree--hung one ornament, given by a girlfriend.  It was so sad.  Kids couldn't get home till Christmas Eve, so what was the point, I was soo tired.

    Since then, we've tried, but have less and less.  Last year we put up the artificial pre lit tree with no ornaments.  I put out stockings and the manger and a couple of things and candles.

    This year!!! We're going to Williamsburg for Christmas.  My kids are 35 and 38, no spouses, or grandkids.  We're going to make new Christmas memories and start some new traditions and see how we like it.  And no dishes to wash!  Also, only 1 gift per person.  Small ones.  Our trip and time with each other is our gift to each other.

    I used to be shocked about my mom and m-i-l not putting up decorations and trees too, now I know why.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited October 2007

    Shirley:  I am still sad.  2007 is going down as the worst year ever for me...even worse than 2006, my breast cancer year...I'm still very sad about losing my stepdad in April, a very good friend of mine, age 49, who has been fighting breast cancer since 2004 was recently told to make her final arrangements,  last night I learned one of my best friends since 7th grade has pancreatic cancer and has been given 9 mos to 1 yr to live...She's my age, 51, a single mom with a 15-year-old daughter.  And we're getting concerned about our son....he has been climbing Mount Everest.  We were supposed to hear from him last Friday and so far nothing.

    Iodine:  I think your idea of going away on a family vacation is fantastic!  So much money in this country is wasted on "things"....much better to use it making lasting memories! 

    I was  exactly like both of you.  Wondered why in-laws didn't want to put up big trees & decorations.  I COMPLETELY get it now. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited October 2007

    update:  I had an e-mail from my son this morning...thank god.  they are back in kathmandu  from their 24-day mount everest expedition.  he said "it was awesome, but best of all, they are safe."  I'll post some pictures once I have them saved.  Their feet look terrible.  It looks gorgeous, but I'd never put my body through that.  they are now figuring out the best way to get to vietnam.

    i'm so relieved.  the whole world looks brighter this morning...even in the midst of my sadness over my girlfriends. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mke
    mke Member Posts: 584
    edited October 2007

    Would you believe I still have some Christmas decorations that I haven't put away from last year?  I keep meaning to consolidate them and have my son take them to the attic - but I haven't gotten to it.  Not much point now is there?

    We will do a tree, the 21 and 25 year old still living at home will not let us get away with not doing it.  We have an artificial one which we may use - and get a real wreath or something.  And we will do a dinner, probably just the 5 of us and we will do presents, but I sure don't want much stuff.  I'm trying to get rid of things, but the kids still love opening presents and buying presents for others.

    Thursday we went to back to back memorial events for 2 friends who died of cancer.  That makes 4 friends/neighbors this year.   I'm on about the same timeline as you gsg re diagnosis and treatment.  2007 has not been a great year.

    I got a kitten and I think that has helped.  She's "helping" me type this right now.  She is amusing and distracting and soothing and irritating, but always interesting.   

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2007

    Dotti, I think the trip sounds fabulous.  As we get older WE DO get wiser.  Being together and making those memories are the most important thing.  Hope ya'll have fun.

    Patrice, I'm so sorry you are still having a hard time with losing your stepdad.  He must have been on fine man!  How's your mom?  And, the other impending losses of more friends is so depressing.

    My daughter's stepmother-in-law is losing this battle.  Oh, how I feel for her.  Also, I found out just the other day that two young women who went to school with my girls have bc and one of the "mom's" of the girls has colon cancer.  I was shocked to say the least.

    On a happy note...so glad you heard from your son.  Would you believe that Sheri and Jim also climbed Mt. Everest a few years ago.  They didn't make it to their intended base camp.  I believe Sheri got a bit sick.  AND, I haven't heard from them in quite sometime.  They "updated" the very first page a couple of weeks ago letting everyone know they were in Tanzania.  I'm really getting a BIT aggravated.  I think I'm going to write a four word email, hope you are okay.  I would think since they're in "civilization" they could access the internet.  Who knows, maybe not. Cry

    Shirley 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited October 2007

    shirley-

    our kids must be cut from the same cloth.

    thanks, mke, for your post.

    i'm in a terrible hurry right now, so must go but wanted to acknowledge your posts though! 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories