Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Hi All,
Skye, love your new photo! And Mel, that baby elephant idea is the best; I would love that too. Your husband sounds like a typical male to me; mine was awful early on til I broke down one night, told him he was being a sh*t, and he hadn't seen it. He jumped in then and has been fine since. But I had the kids here during recovery from surgery, so I think he was off the hook early, and that once I was back at work he figured I was fine. I am actually doing less as time goes on b/c of the cumulative effect of the chemo, and the absolute lack of energy.

Viddie, the taxol is def taking its toll on me emotionally and physically. I really have to fight feelings of depression and sadness, and I think it is the worst on Sundays. I get very sad as the next treatment gets closer. And this week my ankles swelled, I had lots of pain, and I really hit the wall. I take aleve, which I think Skye took. and it helps with the pain, but I do have vicodin if I need it. I am just overall tired of it all; no hair, no energy, etc. And the lack of eyelashes affects what gets in my eyes, which makes me cranky, the lack of pubic hair actually makes bike riding less comfy ... the lack of energy is so unlike me. It all added up Friday night into a major meltdown.

We are going to look for a new bike for my husband today, out to lunch, stop by a farmer's market. I think it will be very good for me to get out today. I didn't do much yesterday at all, and the less I do, the sadder I get.

Good to hear Tae is doing better. Jan, watch that strep. Love your dog! Viddie, enjoy your daughter.

Melia

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Hi all,
Fellow Herceptinans,
Any of you on tamoxofen or arimidex yet?

Viddie, my onc says he will not start the tamo or arimidex, whichever he decides on, until after radiation. So it will be given along with the rest of the year's worth of Herceptin. As for the Taxol, I had so many weird reactions with it that I would not be surprised if it's to blame for your "see-saw." But those mental and emotional things were the first to clear for me, Viddie. Two weeks out I felt like I had my head back...mostly! :-) Do hang in there, dear.

Caya the Herceptin makes me extra tired and sluggish for a week after I get it. I also have slight nausea from time to time but nothing like chemo. So I just try to plan plenty of naps, not much else to do about it and we really need the Herceptin. I see lots worse se's on the HER2 site than I have. I'm just hoping it isn't cumulative like the Taxol. -- skye

Puffball is still there; I found him lying under my hostas for shade when I went out to water the flowers. He doesn't look good. I put a little dish of water by him. Last night I left out a dish of milk which was gone this morning. Not much else I can do I guess, poor thing. - Skye

Just lost my post...Rebecca, who were those Asian Indian people with the flower? How cool!

Hi,

I feel so out of touch here; there are so many posts I'm about 300 behind, and that's no exaggeration. My browser is set to show 80 posts per page; my browser is now at page 53 on this thread and I still haven't read Page 50.

However, I just wanted to pop in and say that I spent two weeks on tamo and was slowly transitioning from Prozac to Effexor at the same time. I had terrible stomach problems. Lots of gas, diarrhea, but constipation too, so I felt kind of like a large powder keg that couldn't explode. I felt awful. Mena had told me that she'd had a lot of stomach problems on tamoxifen so I decided to switch. I still had a prescription for Femara in my purse that the onc had written me before the bone scan was done.

After two weeks I switched to Femara (& no Effexor!!!). I do feel a lot better. My stomach is still pretty bad though, and I look pregnant and seem to be in discomfort most of the time. I don't know why I am still having problems, but I think once you have a really bad stomach episode, it damages the lining of your intestines and it takes a while for things to get back to normal.

I am wondering if anyone else is having gastric problems on their hormonal medications?

OK..I'll post more once I've *really* caught up.

Mizsissy

What do you all think about this wig:
http://www.paulayoung.com/catalog/produc...p;size=Average#

I would get it in brown.

I'm really thinking about ordering it, but I can't decide. If I hate my $400 wig will I hate this one too? I'm just so sick of wearing scarves I thought I might be nice to go out in disguise once and awhile.

Hi everyone,

Once again, thanks for your sharing your experiences and for being there. I am feeling better today. I just have to resign myself to the fact that weekends for the next four weeks will be solely for r & r, and that’s okay.
I finally have my appointment with the new breast surgeon about the Diep surgery on Wednesday. If all goes well and she agrees to do a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy, I will hopefully have my surgery on August 6.
Caya,
How are your choc. Chip cookies? I could enjoy one or two just about now. Having a manicure and pedicure: what a treat!!
Mel,
How are you feeling? I love the baby elephant gift. What a nifty idea.
The countdown for your Diep surgery is around the corner. You are the first of many of us to have this procedure. You will be our very own pioneer.
Terry,
It is good to hear from you. I am glad to hear that Tae is doing so well. Sounds like you had a busy yet fun week.
Nancy,
That is amazing that there were so many people at the same party with cancer, and four with scarves. Did you all talk to each other? I hope you had a good time.
Rebecca,
That sounds like a surreal experience. That is a story worth remembering.
Melia,
We are getting to the end. Yippee!!! Sounds like you had a great day. You deserve it!! Now you can rest for the rest of the night.
Jan,
People who are in our club do seem to know what to say and do . Sometimes an acknowledging smile is alright also, especially at a restaurant. Your support group is so sweet. Coming to the chemo room on your birthday to throw you a party was so nice of them to do. Those are the moments we will treasure.
One of my friends also gave me a super soft snuggly pink bathrobe. I also love to snuggle up to it.
The wig is very nice and chic. It looks like Meg Ryan. Go for it!
Skye,
I love your new wig. I hope the woodchuck is okay. Puffball is so cute.
Cindy,
I also agree. It is okay to feel the anger. We need to feel it before we can let it go. Sounds like you had a very busy but rewarding night.
Mizsissy,
I hope you feel better soon.
Catch you all later,
Viddie

Viddie,
Is your daughter gone? How was the visit?
Jan, that's a darliing wig. How do the Paula Young wigs look in person? For that price, you aren't risking much, and I see one I like for me too. If they are any good at all, it's an inexpensive investment, and I think we are all tired of how we look!

Melia,
My daughter is coming home on Thursday. She is taking prerequisite courses here for graduate school. She wants to be a nurse practitioner. She is staying until August 18, two weeks after my surgery. That will be a treat. I am a little anxious about the fact that she quit her job. I know she hated her boss and in order to take these courses and return home she had no choice. I also know that she will probably be able to get a job as soon as she gets back to DC, but I am still a little nervous about that. Her health insurance ends on June 30, so she has to get health insurance here when she returns. In Ma. although it is quite expensive (around $350.00 for a 23 year old), it is good coverage. She can only use it here, except for emergency when traveling, so when she returns to DC, she has to get a job also for health insurance. I promised myself that I would not worry about that. Glad you asked?? LOL.
Viddie

Hi Ladies,

Real quick check in. We went to friends to watch the last Sopranos. The day started cloudy and rainy, but by 5pm the sun was shining. They live on a lake, so we bbq'd, ate on the deck and went for a boat ride. Got back around 8:30 and sat by the bonfire until 9, watched Sopranos, then back outside at the bonfire. They are such nice people and so easy to get along with. We had a lovely time.

Tomorrow I get my port out, I can't wait! I have no idea if it will be like getting it in as far as anesthesia, but it doesnt' matter to me, I just want it out.

I'll catch up on all the posts tomorrow, hope everyone had a nice weekend!

hugs,
Lynn

Jan, I love that wig! Viddie, I did speak with 2 of the other ladies. One of the gals doesn't have a good prognosis, but she seemed well.
The kids all went canoeing today so the house was quiet and I snuck in a nap. My leg muscles ( if any are left) hurt so bad when I stand or walk.
The kids had a mishap canoeing and didn't get home until 6 I was getting worried, because they left at 11! I know they are old enough to take care of themselves but you never stop worrying do you?
My daughter Kelly is 26 and her Husband Nick were with them but heck I was worried about them too. Turns out Nick's cousin lost his wallet in a deep fast moving part of the river ( why take your wallet?) and they were trying to find it. No luck! If anyone finds it they'll have a soap stars wallet and probably sell it on E-bay LOL!!! He should look there for it. Kids they all come with a boat load of stress don't they? Oh well they had fun. I wish I wasn't "considered" an oldie because I would of love to go canoeing.

Mel and Mary, Glad to hear you are feeling better. The surgery wasn't as bad as I had feared, and I am glad you are finding that it wasn't a terrible ordeal also.

Viddie, I guess it's chemo brain; I thought you were having a visit from a daughter. I knew about the one that was moving back for school. It's good she will be there for your surgery. I found my daughters to be much more sensitive and proactive than my son or husband during my recovery; little things like offering tea or soup, not waiting for me to ask. The guys just hung around waiting for requests, hard for me. Much better when one of the girls would just bring me tea and yogurt with my pain pill.

Mel, I am listening to you about the taxol and not doing too much up to the end. I am working and certainly hope to do so throughout, but a desk job is much diff from a nursing job. I have cut out the gym, just am way too tired to do that, am looking forward to returning mid July. I try to take short walks and we like to bike ride on weekends, but the rides are much shorter and less challenging. And I have cut errands back a lot too. Steve does the grocery shopping, which I hate even when healthy, so that has been a treat. I just overlook all the funny impulse buys. So even though the taxol is going on FOREVER, or so it seems, I am hoping to avoid the terrible side effects you had at the end. The ankle swelling went away after 24 hours, so that was encouraging. But who knows; if things get bad, I can certainly take some time off. My biggest fear about staying home is dwelling on it and getting depressed.

Nancy, I know what you mean about worrying about adult kids. I like it better when I don't know til afterwards about their adventures.

My bras/prosthesis were bothering me so much that I was worried about lymphedema. I went to the wonderful specialty shop where I got them, and the lady gave me expanders. What a difference. They just hook onto the back of the bra and effectively give you extra room, so the pros isn't so tight against my chest. Hopefully this will make me more comfy and I won't tear the bra off the minute I get home.

Have a good day all; off to work.
Melia

Good morning gals,

I just devoted a couple of hours to catching up on posts here. Wow, we're a busy group. I went back to page 50 and now we're on 53.

Sorry I've missed the chats. My husband gets up very early (around 5:30) and I try not to sleep too much later, so by 8:30 I'm usually done for the day. I do feel though that things are coming back...energy, exercise, feeling better, except for my bad tummy.

I don't know why my problems seems to be so much different from everyone else's..maybe this gastric problem is just totally unrelated to BC. Yesterday started out pretty good, but they DH & I were out in the car, delayed lunch a little, then it was all downhill from there. My stomach is enormous again, and I was in discomfort for most of the afternoon and evening.

Today I am going to try something new. I am going to eat nothing but oatmeal and see if that helps, and I'll have frequent small meals. I am so tired of having a bad stomach. This has been going on for three weeks now. My stomach muscles are so tired and stretched out from being so distended all the time; I hope I don't end up with a permanent enormous potbelly.

On a completely different subject, I now, very unexpectedly, have found a wonderful model for my dress designs!! I was in the local pharmacy, which operates kind of like a general store, and there, standing by the photo machine, is a georgeous, tall olive-skinned young lady with a figure like a Barbie doll. At first I can't believe she is real. A few months ago, when I had an outfit in a fashion show, I was asked to find a model and I had no idea where to find one, but here she was. Lovely figure and coloring, perfect!!!

So I stood there a minute and thought, what am I going to do: just walk out of here and remember that I saw the perfect model without doing anything about it, or do something? So I approached her and explained that I design clothes, and would she be interested....?!! And it turns out she is very interested!!

So now I have a new project, and that is getting ready for some photo shoots. I've got plenty of outfits..enough to make a winter line and a summer line, and I've just got to figure out how and where to set up a photo shoot. I have no idea where this will lead---if anywhere--but it is fun to do and it will be exciting to see my clothes on a really beautiful model.

Who of us are getting zapped now? Joni, with all those zaps are getting very, very tired? I hope not too much. Radiation seemed like nothing at first and got very tiring towards the end.

Melinda, congratulations on getting through your surgery which we all know is a huge emotional step as well as a physical one, but you seem to be sailing through with flying colors!!!

Mary, I am so glad to know your tightness is loosening up. You are very strong willed when it comes to fitness and I'm sure you'll be back in top shape in no time.

Lynn – what did you think about the last Sopranos? I like the way they ended it.

Nancy – Here’s a wallet story for you. A few years ago my dad stopped on the way to the lake to put gas in his boat. He didn’t realize it at the time, but as he was filling the boat he left his wallet on the small swim platform on the back of the boat. He drove to the lake, put the boat into the lake, and stayed out all day on the water before he realized that his wallet was gone. At that point he had no idea where he left it. Well, 2 weeks later he gets a phone call from a man who has found my Dad’s wallet. He was fishing in the lake and caught it! He returned it all soggy but with its contents still inside. This is a lake that is 100’ deep in places. So maybe there is still hope….

Mel – Do NOT risk the exercise until the doc says it’s OK. I wouldn’t want you to have any problems that would delay your diep.

Speaking of diep I saw the plastic surgery show on Discovery Health last night with Dr. Allen. They did a sgap on the show. I’d set my DVR to record all of the plastic surgery shows that were on this week hoping to catch it. Anyway, it was pretty interesting, they showed a lot of the surgery.

Melia – I hope the bra expanders work. I still can’t stand to wear my prothesis but try my best to at least stay dressed until after dinner when I switch into my PJs.

Mizsissy – My tummy problems didn’t leave after chemo either. I feel like I am still bloated and wake up every morning with a stomach ache. It’s not as bad as what you are describing – but I think it must be related to chemo. Congrats on the model – that is so exciting.

Mary - what day is it that you start rads? I can't remember already.

I ordered the wig – I figure I can send it back if I don’t like it. For some reason I am just so sick of bald right now. More than I have been at any point before. It was easier to deal with during chemo for some reason. And UGH the eyebrows – I want them back!!! Whaaa….

The girls are feeling better after the strep throat. My DH has it now and I think I do to. I am going in to the doc this morning to find out.

Have a good day!

I just got an email from my SIL with a lot of "helpful" info about cancer:
"1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.
2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.

3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.

4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.

5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.

6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastrointestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.

8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.

9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.

11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.

CANCER CELLS FEED ON:

a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses, but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in color. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.

b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastrointestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soya milk cancer cells are being starved.

c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. �Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.

d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).

e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become purified and leads to more toxic build-up.

13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.

15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, unforgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.

16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells."

There are many items in here that I agree with - chemo is toxic, cells can become resistant, nutrition is important, etc., but it upsets me - I often feel an element of smugness from this individual. Guess I am angry and unforgiving! I feel defensive, as though it was my fault I got cancer. I'll get over it, but just can't see her as supportive - I feel judged.
There was nothing wrong with my immune system - I rarely got colds, etc. even when everyone around me was! I think that people don't want to accept that cancer can happen to anyone - sure there are risk factors and things we can do in improve our chances, but - and I'm sure we've all felt this - why me and not that other person who 1) drinks more, 2) weighs more, 3) has whatever unhealthy life style.
OK I'll get off the soap box now, and try to be more loving and forgiving.