Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Hi Melia,

Sorry I missed chat...sounds interesting!!!!

I've been trying to call Mena but she's not answering. No one has heard from her for a while. I'm worried. Several of her friends have gotten some very bad health news recently. I hope she's OK.

Mizsissy

Mary, when I start rads next Monday it will be 7 weeks out so I barely made it within the range. I was VERY frustrated as they took their sweet time and kept reminding them there was a window or I would probably still be waiting. Don't be afraid to keep checking on them! - Skye

So I went to the PS office for a post op check up, and he tells me - I was so shocked, I nearly fainted. No history of BC, and I had just had the stupid mammo and ultrasound. He called in DH, who had to lie down. We were distraught - Allan was still not 100% from the aneurysm - very sensitive and this new pressure was not what he needed. I came home and called my GP who saw us the next day, already had set up appointments to see the onc. and breast surgeon.

Allan and I decided not to tell anyone until we knew what we were dealing with - remember, the plastic surgeon is a plastic surgeon - and although he was great, he couldn't tell us much about my prognosis - I mean he knew the basics from the pathology report, but I needed to see the BC big guns to know what I was dealing with. And my mother and stepfather were leaving the next day to drive to Florida for the winter. - So we get home at 3:00 p.m., at 6:00 p.m. my mother is standing in my kitchen saying good bye, telling us that all she wants is "everyone to be healthy this year". Of course I was dying inside, but what was the point of having everyone else be miserable until I had seen the onc.? ( I didn't win the best actress award in my senior year of high school for nothing gals).

We also did not want to upset our girls, who had been through enough with their father. So we went to see the onc. and breast surgeon over the following weeks, had scans done to see if the cancer had spread ( it hadn't), and the surgery was scheduled for Dec. 18th - but still I didn't tell - why? because my right breast was not healing well from the reduction surgery, and the breast surgeon said he could not operate on it unless it had healed better, and wouldn't know until a week before - so I'm shlepping back and forth to the plastic surgeon, who had prescribed a special gel to help heal the scar faster, and he's trimming the scar tissue, and the BS is checking it all. In the meantime the onc. is getting good results back from the scans, and the final path report comes in.

I finally got the okay from the BS that he would do the surgery, but we held off telling my mother, our DDs and the rest of the world until the Friday before the Monday surgery - I held off because my oldest daughter Amanda had final exams for first semester that would be over by then, and I didn't want to upset her.

It was very hard, but I saw a great shrink and lived on Ativan - once it was out, of course I had great relief. My mother flew home immediately of course. At first she was upset that I had not told her right away, but then she understood why I didn't - again, what was the point of having my entire family get all crazy upset again when we had been through so much with Allan only months before?

And did I mention that 5 days after my BC diagnosis I got shingles on my neck and face - everybody thought it was because of the stress of the year with Allan's aneurysm and the breast reduction operation - but of course DH and I knew it was the cancer diagnosis.

So that is why we didn't tell - I was trying to keep it quiet so that everyone else could get on with their lives, and then the surgery would be done just before the XMAS holidays, when we could all be together - and I recuperated very well from the mastectomy, better than from the reduction.
My girls took it very well, my mother was very brave, my brothers etc. and my best friends were all great - yes, a bit peeved that I held it in, but understood why I had to do it.
And here I am, almost 8 months out from diagnosis, and starting herceptin tomorrow.
BTW my onc. nurse called this morning, and said barring some unforseen reaction, I should be home well before 4:00 p.m. to attend DDs senior prom pix party.

sorry this was so long, but there was a lot of unusual background info to know about my case.
love you guys, had a great time on the chat last night
caya

Mr. Mel, THANKS!!! for letting us know Mel did okay.

Send her our love!

Cindy

Melia – When I got the biopsy results over the phone I was at home alone. At the time DH was finishing up his MBA and was in class all day – but he knew I’d be calling good or bad when I got the results. When he answered his phone (he had to duck into the hall during class) I was so upset that I couldn’t talk. When he asked if I was OK I just started crying. So he left school and rushed right home (he left so quickly he didn’t even tell anyone). By the time he got here about 20 minutes later I’d already called my OB/Gyn’s office to get a referral for a breast surgeon, called my mom (she knew about the biopsy), my mom had talked to the dr. in her dept about who I should go to for surgery, and I’d put in the first call to the surgeon’s office. DH stayed with me all afternoon and we went together to pick up DD from school. That’s where I saw my good friend who also knew I was waiting for biopsy results. I’d only told my husband, mom and the one friend about the biopsy. The friend I had told because we carpool and I had needed her to take the kids to school so that I could make it to the appointment. Anyway, when I saw my friend in the pick up line at school I told her about the results. I also gave her permission to spread the news to whoever she wanted to. That way I didn’t have to deal with telling the other mom’s at school and our neighbors. You know all those people that would eventually find out but that I don’t know all that well. Well, turns out she’s a darn good gossip – so I really didn’t have to tell anyone else after that point! My mom took care of telling the rest of the family.

I found out on October 27, when I went to mammogram. I had thought...OK, here's my 2 year test, I'm outta here in ten minutes. Then the tech found the lump; it was large, hard & easy to feel. I was frightened.

DH had come with me because we'd gone shopping. He wanted to know how it went and I debated whether to tell him or not because I didn't want to worry him. So I just told him they'd found a lump, but that 80% of lumps are benign and not to worry. But I knew I was in trouble.

The next week was miserable, waiting for the second mammogram and a definitive diagnosis. The second time I went by myself to Ann Arbor. The nurse who did the mammo was a very, warm caring young woman. She felt the lump,and she said, you're probably OK. I asked when I would find out, and she said, not today, they won't tell you today.

Then I went across for the ultrasound, and the tech worked very, very slowly, spent a long time under my arm, so I knew then the results weren't normal. It took a long, long time, then they had me sit in the waiting room.

The mammogram tech came and got and brought me in to meet the Radiologist...by now I knew it was serious. We sat in a darkened room as he looked at my films, explaining that he was very concerned. I asked him if it could be a cyst, and he turned around and looked back at me with consternation on his face, thinking she's just not getting it, and repeated "I am very, very concerned."

Then the nurse took me by the hand and took me to a small room with a table, held my hand. I asked her if I was going to die, and she said NO, it was just a little bump in the road that I'd be fine. That she'd had a lump 4 times as big when she was 8 months pregnant.

I told her I didn't want to wait anymore in the dark while the tumor got bigger. She spent an hour on the phone trying to get me for a biopsy the next day, and then gave me the name of surgeon, and told me to make an appointment immediately, not to wait for the biopsy.

I called my husband from the parking lot & gave him the news, sugar coating it as best I could. After that he came with me to all my appointments.

The biopsy happened the next day. On a Friday, I met the surgeon, and we said, well, what is it?!! And he said, you mean you don't know, it's cancer all right. But we got right on the fast track. He was a wonderful, concerned, caring surgeon. By Monday I was in the operating room, and the damn thing was out!!! Three days after diagnosis. What a relief!!

We didn't tell any of our family for a while, except I told my mother in the early stages. She's very old and frail, blind and deaf, but I really regretted telling her because it worried her to death. She would call at all hours, angry and upset, because the diagnosis was taking too long...

Fortunately things worked out OK...!!!

Mizsissy

I had noticed my right breast seemed to be shrinking for about a year. In August '06, I went for my yearly gyn appt and told the doc. He spent extra time searching for lump but couldn't feel anything. It had been 2 years since my last mammo so he said I should definitly make the appt.

Fast forward to Oct '06 when I finally got my mammo. They called me back because they compared to the last one and noticed my breast was smaller. Went for 2nd mammo and they still see the breast is smaller, but nothing is showing as a problem. A week later they called me back because the chief radiologist saw my mammo and wants to do ultrasound just to be safe. Well, he actually did the mammo, not the tech and spent a long time. Did the core biopsy right then (they usually need to schedule these things). This was a Friday. I told DH and my sister (she is a nurse), my boss and a co-worker. What a long weekend that was. Went into the office (I stay over night) and got the call about 6pm on Nov. 7th when I was at still at work. My gyn was really sensitive and said he could call the next day when I was home, I said no, find out the results and call me back. He did with the positive for ILC. Then I had the 2 hour drive home by myself. I called my sister for part of the drive. DH had a nice fire in the fireplace and a glass of wine waiting for me. I didn't tell my mom until after the surgeon appt. which was later that week. Told kids that weekend. Since ILC can mirror in the other breast, I needed an MRI before surgery and that couldn't be scheduled for over 2 weeks, then was Thanksgiving. Ended up having to wait until Dec. 4th, almost a month after dx before I finally got the surgery.

And then I met all my sisters here!

Robbin Jaye,

I didn't join up here until about December, and then I wasn't part of a group, so I didn't know how awful it was for you all that time, waiting for surgery. What a trip!!! But you have survived, and you've done well.

Maybe you should write a book!!!!

xxxoooo Mizsissy

Yeah, I didn't join here until, I want to say Feb... so I didn't know about Robbins tough road either.

OK...last post. I feel like a "board hog". I read that link about adriamycin and if I read it correct, it's saying that it's only eff. for approx. 8% of women...those that are "topo II" positive...for which there is no test. Most topo II+ women are also HER2/neu+. So, not that I want to be topo II+ because I have no idea what that implies, but maybe I didn't do adriamycin for nothing. It blows my mind that they can come up with this stuff after we've all been put on the drug for yeaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrsssss....

Isn't it amazing the bond we have here? Yesterday, while Mel was in the OR, I felt as if I were in the waiting room with Larry. I don't know him at all, but was there beside him waiting for word.

I feel closer to you girls than to some of my good friends now. This place is very appreciated by me.

I seriously thought my head was on straight lately. No incidents to speak of for a month or so. Then, a couple of days ago as I prepared a meal, I asked DH to hand me a clean dish towel. He opened the drawer (small drawer, nothing but dishtowels). He started laughing. There sat my freshly washed and peeled red onion. So much for feeling okay again.

Ok, my kids just walked in and called me a Goth. Note to self: do not buy Dark Ash Brown again. Medium is sufficient. I do look like Elvira, but it's funny...I really don't care because I'm not doing topless anyway. I've always got a hat or scarf on and I know, "this too shall fade". Ha-ha! I guess after you've done "no hair", it's all relative...

Melia, I do feel good. Normal again. April 4 was my last taxol, so I'm 2 mos. out. I've felt good for quite a while now too. I did Herceptin today too and again, no s/e's at all. You will feel good too...you just have to remind yourself that it's strictly the taxol and it will be a few rough weeks ahead. When you feel down, remember that... say it's not me...it's the drugs...

Rebecca, my story is identical to yours with the exception that my primary dr. saw me immed. I was sent straight over to a breast center and they knew right from looking, what it was. The tech was a young girl and she said something like "oh, my sister has leukemia"....she left out "too". It was like she was saying "my sister has cancer too". That gave me my first inkling that this wasn't going well. That, and the fact that they were studying it so intently for so long. The doctor came in and she was great. She was so good at breaking bad news, I feel like writing her a t.y. card now, all this time later. I got the brochures, like you... the talk about contacting a surgeon... all before pathology came back. It just looked like classic BC on the screen. I don't even RECALL how my kids found out. I think I've blocked out a lot of that time in my mind. I'm sure I told them asap and said "oh, I'm so lucky we found this early..."

Quote:

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Either I still have serious chemo brain or I've been spending entirely too much time online (or both). This morning I asked my 3 year old if she wanted "some more e-mail." I meant oatmeal. Ooops. She looked at me like I'd just sprouted another head.

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That is hilarious!