Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

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Amera, I don't know why you'd start having flashes now. Is that an s/e of rads?

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I'm not sure. My onc nurse told me it's because the ovaries take a hit during chemo. My rads nurse asks every week if I have hot flashes but cannot tell me if it's because of the rads. My theory is that it's because I was thrown into menopause. I had periods throughout chemo but they stopped with my last treatment. Although, I know of ladies pre and post men. who have gotten flashes with chemo. and some who get them with rads. Who knows?

Caya,
I am glad your daughter is staying in town; she will still have the univ experience but you can see her more often. I know you will be persistant getting answers today; you should not have to be in pain. We have all been thru so much that a headache is an insult! Esp one that persists.

Nancy, where and how are you? Are you done with treatments?

HOw is everyone's hair doing? Mine is growing fairly quickly but is nearly transparent, though this weekend I could see some darker, kind of thicker looking sprouts. I am so anxious to have it long enough to lose the wig ... it's a great morale booster. I thought my eyebrows were doing well, but they seem to have stalled.
Melia

Hi Girls, got home from Georgia about 10 last night! I did not want to come home! Seeing my 2 older brothers was so much fun, I laughed so hard all weekend I think I pulled a muscle! Sunday all the guys went to a Brave's game and the women stayed home and watched "chick movies" painted flower pots, ate junk and had a great time. When the men got home " Braves lost miserably" we cooked out and just had a wonderful time. Occasionally I would feel the chemo and feel icky but I just wasn't going to let it take the fun away from me. I muddled through the pain and fog. I was nervous about seeing my brothers, hoping they wouldn't think I was to creepy looking, my DH said they were impressed with my attitude. I try really hard not to show the dark side, my hubby is the only one who has seen me visit the dark side, and he and I both don't like it there!
I have 1 more chemo this Friday!!!! I am soooooo looking forward to it. My red count is low and was on Friday but they did not give me a shot? I had several nosebleeds over the weekend and I too have a sickening taste in my mouth.
Linda- I know I am not far from you but I am soooo scared to ask my boss for anymore time off. I think he has had it with me, He was understanding in the beginning but it's like OK I am sick of this story now, get back to work! I am feeling a tad uncomfortable and I would like to say YES but I am so afraid to commit right now. I have worked for him for 9 years and I know when he is acting weird. Will see how the summer progresses, maybe after he has a long vac. he will be nice again. LOL. Missed you guys while I was gone, I purposely stayed off the computer, I change my whole routine while gone and rarely thought of BC, oooh that felt good!

Hey ladies,
Been swamped with work and spent yesterday feeling yuggy and recovering from my trip, but finally just got thru everyone's posts.
Mary and Miz, you both give biker chicks a good name! Looking happy and healthy, the 2 of you.
Nancy I'm glad you enjoyed yourself so much in Georgia and got home safely. Watching chick flicks and eating "bad" food sounds divine. Woohoo on the last chemo coming up!
Caya I hope you can get those headaches under control. I'm so happy for you that your daughter will be near home. We had one son close and the other farther away and things were MUCH easier to deal with with the close one.
Shorti and Melia, I think my hair is about the same stage as yours. I can see at least some of it is darker and the sides are fuzzing up. I washed it this morning and it almost felt like washing hair rather than scalp. However, most of my LEFT EYEBROW ONLY fell out overnight. It still has one wild, half-inch long hair I can't bring myself to pull out. The right one is still mostly there. What's up with that?
Joni, have a great escape in the Escape! I confess I have a bear phobia. They scare me worse than cancer because if one gets you, chemo won't help. Goes back to spending weekends up north as a child near a bear-infested woods. But I'm sure you know how to deal with them.
Amera, that is so sweet of your husband to help with the flashes. Mine have been going on for so long the dh is just used to them. But he does help me yank my jacket or sweater off when I can't do it fast enough.
Dar Happy birthday!
I know there are other things I meant to say to the rest of you but they have clean left my head and I must get back to work. Fondest greetings anyway - Skye

YIKES! Went up to the farm for the weekend (did some work on our cabin and such). Soooooo many posts to read.......I will check back in later when I get get through it....hope everyone had a good weekend (we did! pics to follow)

While I understand the feeling of looking awful with all of our make up needs, etc., I can vouch for you as to how you actually look! I had a very nice lunch with Jan a few weeks ago and she is a beautiful young woman! Very nice, pretty, and slim! I had a great time and hope to see her again.

Good for you for making the appointment. Don't do as I did, I made the appt and didn't go. Work interfered and I never made another appointment. I hear I missed out on a lot of nice make up too.

My hair is growing, but I find myself whining inwardly about wanting, and needing, enough hair for a style of some sort rather than a shaggy crew cut.

HUGS Viddie

hang in there. I got Decadron IV as well, and i also think that it lingers. nasty business that stuff!

Viddie, hang in there. Lynn, I'm sorry about your hair. Nancy, good for you - trying to enjoy yourself in the midst of all of this.

I'm waiting for the rad onc to call and set up my first appt. I had the rad sim (just one long visit). I'm not looking forward to starting. It's like facing cancer every day going there. So I hope I get this week off. I'm still a little puffy from the surgery -- I'm probably overdoing it. I did a little gardening yesterday with that blasted garden rake and then washed two cars. Then I prayed I wouldn't get lymphodema. I'm going to visit a friend tom who is going through a rough time. She has a nerve problem and it hurts her to sit so she quit her secretarial job because it's hard to stand and type and be on drugs. I hope I can cheer her up. Joni, hope your sister is better and Caya, hope your headache is better today. Hi to the rest of you and good night.

Melia, I agree taxol is hard. Friday is my last one and I swear on days like today I feel like I'm going to die. The fatigue and aches just get you down, by the time you feel like yourself it's time for another. I hate the blurry eye foggy feeling I get. I feel so abnormal and out of control, then that makes me anxious. There is light though at the end of this tunnel. We have about got it licked, as we help each other climb this huge mountain!

Lynn, what's this about a pillow full of hair? That's scary - I'm just beginning to get the start of a little regrowth, and here you are talking about yours falling out again?

Skye, I have one of those wild, half-inch-long hairs in my left eyebrow also...surrounded by empty hair follicles. I'm getting more consistent about drawing in my eyebrows, but it sure would be easier not to have to do that.

Seems like everybody is feeling kind of down tonight? I think I'm just tired - had my preop this morning and it ended up taking 6 hours, counting drive time. I didn't get to see the dr., so will have to save all my questions for the day of surgery. I don't even know if I'm staying overnight.

Dar, what a touching tribute from your daughter. Sounds like you had a great birthday.

Nancy, you're almost there! Melia, just a few more - you'll be there too. Taxol really sucks....or is it just the accumulation of everything.

More tomorrow, when I've had some rest.

Gosh, so sorry to those of you still on Taxols and those still recovering. I also heard that Taxol was "easier" than AC when my first onc was going to have me do it. Yeah, right! I'm sure the cumulative exhaustion is daunting. And all the steroids etc. Blech! I feel your pain ladies. It is almost over, really.

About the hair, well, mine's really dark grey and I can see a distinct hair line now. Still not long enough to go topless though, but the side are coming in more and I hope to wear a baseball cap next month without looking bald. I am now 2 months out of treatment.

My brows are back in full force and it happened almost overnight. I am actually getting them waxed tomorrow as they look way too full. I have never been so excited about an eyebrow wax in my life. Lashes are coming in but still really stumpy. The brows though, those make you look human again.

I'm also using the lotion/tan stuff. I'll tell you, a little bit of color on my green skin has made a huge difference. I am finally starting to look almost normal.

I am about half way through the "Life After BC" book I recommended. I have to say that while there are some really helpfull parts, the author *does* make all kinds of assumptions about how miserable you will be. She is forever talking about how difficult certain events will be because you will be " forever wondering if you will live to see the next year." I'm paraphrasing here, obviously, but it is a bit of a downer. And she does have quite an angry edge to much of what she writes.

So I am officially re-issuing my recommendation with a caveat. I agree with TPPJ, read it when you need it but otherwise, be prepared for a lot of death talk. Some of it makes me wonder if I'm in for a huge crash tomorrow after my last rad.

Okay, time to walk the dog. A huge distraction, which is a mixed blessing these days.

Caught up on the posts, want to reply :
Amera - way to go on the eyebrow wax.. Yup it's pretty funny to be excited about an eyebrow wax, but I can totally relate - when I have enough eyebrows to wax!
Melia - I have a bit of hair growth, but I'm barely 3 weeks out from my final Taxotere.
Shorti - hope the dentist visit went okay.
Nancy - sounds like you had a nice weekend in Georgia with your brothers and family. Hurray for your final chemo on Friday!
Mizsissy - how did your maiden Tamoxifen go? Is it the one pill of 20g? When did you take it? I am staring Tamox. about one month after my first Herceptin infusion. I understand alot of women like to take that one pill at night.
Lynn - weird about the hair falling out again now - bummer for sure.
Jan - You will enjoy "look Good Feel Better" - the makeup alone is worth itl.
Viddie - I hope you are feeling more "up" today -
Mary - watch that shlepping and gardening etc. - Lymphedema alwyas has to be in the back of our minds - from what I hear, you want to avoid it, because once it starts, it's here forever.
Dar1 - lovely story from your birthday party - see what impresses our kids when we don't even know it.
Joni- enjoy your new car - BEARS - Oy - I get nervous when I see a raccoon...
If I missed anyone, blame it on headache/chemo brain.
hugs to all
caya

Viddie – Sorry to hear that you are feeling so rotten. I really disliked decadron – I felt like it did make me feel bad. I hope it doesn’t last long.

Goldnmom – you are so sweet! Thanks for cheering me up. BTW – I’m collecting info for my insurance appeal. Dr. Allen’s office suggested I talk to the Chapel Hill doc to get info on how many he’s done, anesthesia time, etc. I wasn’t too impressed when I called his office. Hopefully they will get back to me soon. In the meantime I am keeping my June 20 consult with Dr. Allen.

Melia - When do you finish with the taxol? The fatigue is really frustrating from all of these treatments. I think we are all anxious to get back to our normal activity levels. By my last chemo I was getting queasy at the sight of the chemo room – I wonder if you can take something before you go in to make you feel a little better? It IS temporary – you will finish.

Dar – your daughter’s note made me cry! That is so kind and thoughtful of her. What a wonderful woman you raised.

Lynn – hair falling out? Not fair. I hope that it starts growing back in soon. I don’t feel like I’ll be really finished with treatment until I have some hair.

Mizsissy – I love the online party idea for when everyone is done. Maybe we can pick a time to all meet in the chat room?

Amera – I am so excited that you need an eyebrow wax!!!! I think I’m more anxious to have my eyebrows back than anything else in the hair dept. What fun news.

Caya – that headache sounds like a nightmare. I hope it clears up soon. At least you know it’s not brain mets! Like any of us need that to worry about.

A friend emailed me last night to ask how I was doing and if I was enjoying getting back to “normal.” NORMAL?!?! It hasn’t even been 3 weeks since my last chemo yet and she thinks I should be back to normal? Give me a break. Everyone seems to be forgetting that I am still worn out and still planning to do reconstructive surgery. I’m not done yet!

I am getting some tiny little fuzzy hairs on my head and some eyebrow growth too. No eyelashes yet.

well my date with the dentist was uneventful he will not work on me until I get the ok from my Dr . But i have no cavities and the issues I was having was with root canaled teeth . ( i can do without dental work for now )
My second rad appointment was a view to "donwtime" . We each get a rad machine programed to our cases and mine was backed up yesterday as one of the others was broken . We waited 2 hours to get in . My dh comes with me a i pick him up from work on my way down to the city . We only have one vehicle a truck IE big gas $$$$ . Poor guy was at work all day and then had to sit nd wait with me . The day was sunny one good thing . Today the machines are down for servicing . My hope is that my next appointments will not be late . It takes me 1 1/2 hours to get there and the drive back is through rush hour traffic . dh comments and ONLY 31 MORE TO GO .....yipee i hope it gets better . We need more radiation places here man .... there are so many people waiting a whole floor is dedicated to just rads .
But I am feeling good normalcy is starting to set in. My hair is growing and i m getting some sun to get that pea soup look out of my face .
Caya man your headache sounds like crap man ... percocet makes me hallucinate hope it helps you and that sinus stuff goes away. Taxotere seems to have it bad side your headaches and sinuses do you have any other lingering SE 's . I still am having trouble with my hands and fingers i cannot lift some things just drop out of my hands and they are no that heavy . I also have bone pain and muscle pain , twinging jolts in my ribs and back . yuck ....... Also still get dizzy and i am wondering if its my sinuses , chemo does a number on them and if you had problems before chemo it just makes the situation worse .
Viddie too hope that you are getting to feeling on your way back ..... this trip is toooooooo long ........... we all need a good jump in the warm waters of BALI or a dip in a cold lake to get our yayas out ............. ya ya ....... YA
All of you with more taxol the saying is hang in there you can do it , we are all still here for the remaining chemo gals ..... June is just around the corner .

Amera cools eyelashes and eyebrows i am looking forward to them , Jan I am wearing baseball caps and hats now , out in public and everything the wig has not been on my head in a while , i wear bandannas around the house and out too . The one thing I will not do is go out without something on my head i need to have no skin showing before i do that .
And when you think about it most people in a mall or grocery store only glance at you then carry on with their own game plan . You could break a glass bottle in a mall and people would walk all over it without a thought . So looking at me should be a non issue . I have been concentrating on getting new clothes , accessories and fancy hats . I am going to sew some jean hats from a a pattern I bought and use old jeans for them . Hats are my new fashion statement and Jan they show you how to wear hats and stuff in look good feel better .... the makeup is high end too nice products !

Mizsissy : I am torn between gardening and sewing , drawing right now its been such a nice spring . (I also pick up the dog poop in our yard alot we have a BIG dog ) huge poops . I have planted seeds and new perennials and have erected a bird feeder . I am also going to start on some jean hats soon , had o get some mending done my girls always ask me to cut off their pants to make Capri's for the summer . As for our Sept get together as we only have one vehicle I will only be able to come for a Sat and Sun . That means leaving on A Friday afternoon and maybe getting to your place late at night . I am trying to talk my dh into coming with me and also am not quite sure which day I start back to work , but that for me is not a problem as with my long term disability i can go back on reduced hours for the first few weeks . Just gotta work out the kinks .......

Anyone I missed enjoy the day ....... hugs to all of ya ....

Yeah Caya on the negative scan! I wonder if this is our life from now on? Headaches get brain scans. Gads!

AND, gotta love those percs. Glad they worked and that you are feeling better