Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

I went to my annual OB/Gyn exam today. My gyn is the doc who sent me for the baseline mammo that found my tumors. He’s also the one that referred me to my fabulous breast surgeon that I can’t say enough good stuff about. Oh, and he delivered my youngest daughter during a huge snowstorm (we don’t get those here often – the whole city was shut down). So, let’s just say I like this doc and it was a good appointment. He did scare me a bit about tamoxifen, but otherwise all was good. The worst part is that his office is in the same building where I’ve had my first mammos done and it really was emotional to walk in.

On my way back to work I stopped at the grocery store to pick up some stuff for my brother’s birthday party at my house tonight. I noticed this cute kid (I’d guess about 4 years old) with a pirate t-shirt. I like pirate stuff, so I noticed it. So, a few minutes later he starts pointing at me and says very loudly “Mom, look, a pirate!” His mom clearly ignores him hoping he’ll stop – but instead (predictably) he yells “Mom, mom, look a pirate – she’s a pirate!” He repeats this until his clearly embarrassed mother puts her hand over his mouth. Now I’m feeling a bit sorry for her. So I look over (and I’m laughing pretty hard at this point) and tell her it’s OK. She seemed relieved to see that I thought the whole thing was funny. I still can’t stop laughing about it. BTW – I was wearing a cute skirt, a pretty patterned blouse and a matching turquoise solid color scarf. But hey, I’d rather been seen as a pirate than a cancer patient. I love it!

Mel – My insurance will pay nothing for out-of-network, and from what I hear he’s well out of my price range. I’ll keep working on it. Can’t wait to see the tank pics.

Lynn – I hope that new Rx works and the swelling goes down fast.

On that touchy hemorrhoid topic, I found the suppositories worked along with Colace. Even though you are regular, you need the colace. Something about chemo makes you hard - if you know what I mean. I remember those times with agony -- dreading every time you had to go -- so you are not alone.

Melia,

I swear by those low glycemic candies sold in bags in the candy aisle at Walmart, etc. They have sugar free Reeses Cups, Sugar Free York Peppermint Patties. And you only need a couple to satisfy the sweet tooth.

Mel, my skin was a MESS on taxol. I feel like I'v finally gotten past that point and my face doesn't look like acne city.

Lynn, your feet swelling that large seems odd, 90 degrees or not... hope the diuretics work.

Lynn, I actually went to work today with just my safari hat on and not my wig -- it's way too hot an it's Friday of a holiday weekend - and I had to go to my rad sims first. I got a few turtle faces but a lot of good comments. I guess I'll have to go hat shopping this weekend. My new house -- no air conditioning hooked up -- can you believe it? Luckily we found an electrician to come out today and only charge $200 - what a blessing. I'm back to wearing my camisole again. I feel bloated and sore. Will this ever go away?

Hi ladies,

Went to my GP today - and yes, I do have a sinus infection, lots of fluid in my ears ( I could feel it). She gave me a script for Ceftin, and I took 2 Tylenol 3's this afternoon after my 2 hour nap - Not a raging headache, but there in the sinuses - so now my headache is better, but now I feel a bit nauseous from the Tylenol 3 - it's always something. I feel a bit like you Viddie - the never ending circle of the cure may be worse than the disease. So it will probably take about 48 hours for the Ceftin to really kick in, but at least it is the weekend so it's quiet.
Jan- I love the pirate story. It was nice that you went up to the mother and reassured her you didn't care - I've done that, we who have had small children know what's it's like.
Skye - glad you are away and enjoying yourself. Have fun with Cindy.
My DH and DD went to Victoria today for the UVic orientation weekend, I would have liked to have gone, but I'm not ready for that kind of demanding weekend yet - meetings, touring etc. But it will be nice for them to bond, and I have my older daughter at home with me.
Mel - your aquariums sound great. When I was a kid my father had a three tiered aquarium built into a corner of our family room - I remember it as being very cool.
Mary - good luck with your rads, I guess they have to give you all the info and s/es - sigh - will it ever be over? There will be a few of us kvetching for a year (Tina, Viddie and me) who will be on Herceptin - and I don't start it for another 2 weeks.
I'll try to catch up a bit tomorrow, I'm foggy again from the sinuses and the meds.
caya

Mary, the other girls here seem to be doing OK on rads, for the most part. I guess I'd expect to be tired, perhaps even more than w/the chemo, but I'd expect that at the end... kind of like the Taxol deal. That didn't hit me until the end. I think you'll get through this OK. It's just another "necessary evil".

On SoCal... I lived out there from '94 to '97 and I should have bought.... the market was way down. I'd have a killing. Now...forget it. They'd have to quadruple Paul's salary to make it equitable and that won't be happening. To live in southern Calif. you have to have gotten in when the getting was good, or to be super, super loaded.

Hi,
Today was a long, but fun day. I met some friends for lunch, then did some grocery shopping. I bumped into an old friend I have not seen for years and we had a nice long catch-up chat. A few hours later, my dh and I went to Home Depot, and then we went out to dinner. Now I am pooped. Our son is coming home for the weekend. He wants to go out on our Boston whaler with my dh. I might pass, it might be too much sun for me. Besides, I can have the whole house to myself for the day!

Jan, I just love that story about the little boy thinking you were a pirate!
I hope your insurance comes through for you.
Skye,
You sound like you are having a wonderful time.
Lynn,
I am glad the doc gave you the diuretics. Hopefully they will help you so you can enjoy the weekend.
Mary,
Thanks, I just got some suppositories today.
I think they have to disclose everything to you. I remember reading all the stuff they give you to sign right before an operation. They scare you so much, you want to get up off the bed and walk away. So far, everyone here who started their rads seem to be okay. Melia is right, they are just being thorough.
Melia,
Have a great weekend with your family.
Caya,
I hope you feel better tomorrow after a good nights sleep. Hopefully the antibiotic will kick in tomorrow and you will feel better.
Mel,
Those aquariums look real cool. Are they hard to maintain? I bet they are gorgeous and calming to look at.
Good night,
Viddie

I had a dream last night that we all got together for an evening for a very nice reception. We were all wearing beautiful gowns (although when I bent over, mine ripped..hahahaha, gotta love dreams). The interesting part was that we all had hair. We were all so happy to see each other. It was a lovely dream!

Last night, dh, dd and I were sitting on the deck enjoying a margarita and Shelley pulls out an envelope. She said she has been trying to find a way to thank us for all we've done for her in the past couple year and hands over the envelope. In it are Red Sox tickets. Row 1 right next to the dugout! For years, I've been saying to George 'Who are those people that have those front row seats?'. Her company had a contest asking for ideas to improve the company, she won 2nd place and gave the tix to me and dh. I was so touched. She could probably have sold them for $1,500.

Mel, I had to get up and pee about 8 times last night, I think the diuretics are working. The feet look better this morning, we'll see how the day goes. How many days did you take the pills for?

Jan, lol about the pirate story. Kids are so innocent like that!

Mary, good for you to wear only the hat. I'm sure you'll get more comfortable as time goes by. I'll be working out in the yard today topless. I actually blow dry my hair now! It's about 1/2 inch long.

Viddie, enjoy the house to yourself...relax and rest.

Caya, hope you are feeling better.

Skye, have a great time! I particularly remember you in my dream. You were getting out of a car and several of us were there to hug you, you looked beautiful!

Have a great day!

Lynn, hugs from my sisters would be a welcome thing, what a great dream you had! And what a sweet and generous thing for your dd to do. We are getting ready to go to the park for the wedding and everyone nervously checking the sky for imminent rains. Glad your diuretic is working.

Shorti sorry about the rads postponement, let us know how it goes Mon.

IowaCindy are you out there? Check your pms and e-mail if you can please.
We will be at the restaurant until at least 4.
Happy Saturday everyone. - Skye

"Whatever happened to your hemorrhoids? How did you get rid of them or did they finally go away on their own? Any suggestions? Are you feeling a little better today? I hope your thoughts can get some cheering up. Remember, we all have those thoughts, and we are here for you. Have a great day."

Viddie, my hemorrhoids settled down about two weeks after chemo stopped. I honestly believe that the toxins excreted through my bowels burned those hemorrhoids, causing some major irritation. After I stopped getting those infusions and my bowels started to settle down, the hemorrhoids settled down too. This may be too much information, but when the stool turned back from bright yellow to a more normal brown, I felt much better - rectally speaking!

This has been a week of emotional challenge. At work (I am an admissions nurse in a long term care/rehab facility) we had a referral for hospice services for a woman with mets BC. I think she'll be admitted on Tuesday. I've spoken to my co-worker and told her that she'd need to do the majority of work related to this admission. Her story hits too close to home.

I've been talking to myself that her story, the wonderful fearful battle that she's had, is not my story. And I tell myself that when she's here, she probably has something to teach me. So I imagine I'll be involved in her admission anyway.

So I am doing a lot of praying. Remaining grateful for what I've had, what I've been given through this experience - unquestioning, no-limits love.

Cindy

Hi everyone,
Lynn,
What a nice pleasant dream! I know you LOVE the Red Sox!! What a thoughtful and generous gift your dd gave you. I am glad your feet are feeling better. Wow, your hair is long enough to blow dry, that’s great!
Amera,
Wow! Only 3 more times left! Then you really will be finished. Do you have any celebration plans?
Cindi, Thanks for the information. It has been so hot here, the suppositories I bought yesterday melted. Does anybody know if they will be alright if I put them in the refrigerator? What next???

I can understand how hard it must be for you to face that lady that is coming to your facility. It certainly would rattle me. We need to stay positive, but we also cannot close our eyes to the world around us. Unfortunately everyday people have accidents or get sick, but luckily we are still here. I do try to count my blessings knowing that I could have been given a worse prognosis. When or if you are up to it, you might be a source of great comfort and help to her because you will understand and relate to her experiences. If it is too difficult, and it might be, you have every right to have someone else admit her.

Have a great time meeting with Skye.

Viddie

I penciled on my eyebrows, tied on a scarf and down I-80 I went. It was a beautiful afternoon after a rainy night and early AM. Lots of people on the road.

No problems until I got off the interstate. I was third in line at a stoplight at one of the major intersections in Lincoln (probably about a mile from where I was supposed to meet Skye) when my car died. Just stopped. No warning, no lights flashing. My little Focus wagon just stopped. ARGGGHHHHH!!!!

I flipped on the flashers and got out as people gave me either sympathetic smiles or angry frowns. I managed to avoid being hit and made it to the sidewalk. Then there was about an hour of making phone calls, talking with Sarah - a lovely young woman who stopped to help me and she made phone calls trying to get a tow. Apparently it was a rough day in Lincoln because there was an hour and a half wait for a truck.

The friendly police office who showed up called for a tow, she said - rightly so - that my car couldn't block that lane for that long. Her call got results. I finally made it to a 24 hour repair service.

*sigh* That part of the afternoon was a bummer. Although Sarah and the police officer were nice. So was the driver of the tow truck.

Well told, Cindy! I wish I could have shown Cindy to you all but here are a few pics of the lion dance and the bridal couple in both American and Chinese wedding garb. Hope it doesn't take too much room. - Skye

Amera, the link doesn't work, can you respond with the name/author of the book? Although I haven't even started rads yet, I'd like to get a book to help me through the post bc stage. I still say I 'have' bc when talking to people, dh keeps reminding me that I 'had' bc, it's not in me anymore. I'm hoping I will start to feel that way after active treatment is done.

Viddie, wanted to clarify. I do blow dry my hair, but only because it is thick and still wet a few mintues after getting out of the shower. I can no way get a brush in it or anything like that.

Skye and Cindy, sounds like you two had a great time together. It is wonderful to chat with someone in the same situation. Skye, great pics!

I am 7 pounds less than I was 2 days ago. Guess the diuretics are really working. I do have a few se from them though. I was trying to weed my garden yesterday and got lightheaded and dizzy everytime I stood up after picking out the weed. I have a nasty taste in my mouth, although that could still be from the chemo and I didn't really taste it much while I had my cold.

We have a robin's nest on our outdoor speaker right outside my office. One of the baby's fell out of the nest and was just sitting there on the deck. DH scooped him up into a shallow box and put some grass in. I was hoping he wouldn't be dead this morning. Well, he's not there, I'm thinking an animal got him. So sad.

Melia, I'm so glad the placque gives you joy and comfort, that's what I was hoping for! Mary, now that I'm back from my trip, I'll get yours in the mail on Tuesday.

Viddie, I know it's not funny but I couldn't help laugh that your suppositories melted. I'm sure that falls under the "come on, give me a break"

I was at the grocery store today. There was a woman smiling at me with this huge smile. I kept wondering if I knew her or what. She kept right on smiling but didn't say anything as she walked by. It finally dawned on me...the short, grey hair...I'm sure she is a survivor too. It just made my day. I think that's the tact I will use from now on. Sooo much better than the "looks" or having to stop and explain your case to every stranger who asks--survivor or not. It was such a nice change. I didn't come away feeling discouraged. Small blessings!