Starting Chemo in JAN 2007
Comments
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Mizsissy, I vote you go camping, I figure it this way I can feel like crap at home or out some place I enjoy. Either way I'm gonna feel icky. So this weekend I am going to travel to GA for my niece's graduation. I arranged to have chemo at 8 am Friday and will leave directly afterwards. I earned a trip, I can sleep in the car, I just don't care how I will feel. Although, hmmmmm... the only thing I would not enjoy is having an intestinal blowout while driving, if you know what I mean. Hate public pottys, Maybe I'll take imodium just to be safe. LOL.
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Yeah Haw....
Camping on the River (music notes)
Sounds good to me!!! Lets all go camping... We deserve it!!!
I will post pics when I get back. -
I have a tent, I won't crowd you in the camper!
Wouldn't that make a great gathering of sorts?
Cindy -
Thinking of you and sending you lots of Iowa support and love.
Sending thoughts for a speedy MRI report, too!!!!!!!!!
Cindy -
I camp at the Marriott. Or perhaps an Airstream. That I could possibly handle.
Skye, did not want to say it...but your thoughts on the Ahriahnna spelling were mine exactly. Diarhhea or Amenorhea. Damn....because Arianna is such a pretty name too.
Jan, I got sore throats off/on through chemo too. That, and the bloody noses when I'd blow my nose.
MizSissy, I agree w/whoever said you can feel like crap at home or away, so I'd travel. Have a gin & tonic...it'll make you feel better!
Rebecca, glad your onc. called you to at least say he knows you patiently await the results. Waiting..the hardest part. Not my forte.
Nothing new w/me. Same old same old. My DH (just what does that mean? Dear Husband? Damn Husband? Depending on our mood?) left for Miami on Sat. am and I've literally had only kids to talk to since then. I did get over to my friend Wendy's for 1/2 hour today and tried on a few dresses for opinions for that upcoming wedding.
OK...nothing to really report, so I'll sign off. Oh, Lynn, you missed nothing on Sopranos. I am just not liking it so much this season. So predictable. And I could so care less about the Phil Leotardo storyline. And Paulie is like a caricature these days. Just goofy. -
Anyone happen to catch the season finale of Desperate Housewives last night? They gave one of the main characters cancer (lymphoma) and spent some significant time talking about chemo and that the characters mom is a breast cancer survivor of many years. It was pretty interesting - although I'll skeptically await to see if they will show her going through chemo or let that happen off air during the summer. (At any rate now you know I like trashy TV shows). I'm 4 episodes behind on watching the Sopranos - but you all aren't inspiring me to catch up (they are on the DVR). Anyone watch Entourage?(it's on right after the Sopranos and is pretty dependable for a good laugh and never a stressful story line).
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Viddie and Skye, I hope you get your appts / insurance messes cleared up. This is hard enough without dealing with bureaucratic issues. Rebecca, hope you had a good mri report; waiting is so hard. Nancy, hope you feel better soon. Mizsissy, I would go, it sounds lovely. You can rest there; your accomodations sound great.
I am dragging tonight. Blood work tomorrow, and I really hope the counts are high enough to let me have taxol 6 on Wed. Also an onc appt tomorrow. I am going to ask him about the seroma where the scar is and the extra skin under my arm. If nothing can be done short of surgery, I need to at least get bigger bras so the prosthesis doesn't put so much pressure on my chest. I literally tear the bra off when I get home at night.
Early night tonite, absolutely no energy. I wish this were behind me. I know seven more weeks doesn't sound like much, but right now I could weep at the thought.
Sleep well all,
Melia -
Jan, I saw the Desperate Housewives too and now I can admit it! :-) I also wondered if they will show Lynnette in chemo and bald. What I appreciated was when her mother was telling her that she would be feeling worse than she ever thought she could feel. It's nice that people get some idea of how it really is. I actually became hooked on more TV shows than I care to admit due to spending the winter on the sofa too blah and sick to do much else.
Thanks, Melia, for the encouragement on my rads onc debacle, and I hope you are better and able to get your Taxol 6.
Camping also sounds good to me. I'd go! - Skye -
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I camp at the Marriott. Or perhaps an Airstream. That I could possibly handle.
Tina, I'm with you - I camp at the Marriot.
Skye, did not want to say it...but your thoughts on the Ahriahnna spelling were mine exactly. Diarhhea or Amenorhea. Damn....because Arianna is such a pretty name too.
Tina, I agree on this one too. Why do they do this? Although, I should talk - my "real" name is Caryn (as in Karen), and my whole life I've had to spell out my name - but I like the distinctive spelling in my case, it does not evoke images of toilets I hope.
My best friend and her husband had us for a dinner party last night with some other friends - it was really nice to get out and socialize - almost felt like normal. This friend has been my rock since dx, she really outdid herself with the meal. I gained 2 lbs overnight. Just add to the ever expanding waistline. Today I was good.
Mizsissy - you are very talented. Mena's dress is lovely - and how are you feeling?
Skye and Viddie - I certainly hope things are moving along for you with your appointments - It's amazing how we have to deal with all this crap, when we are under so much strain from the dx, and the tx.
Jan, I hope you are feeling better. I also had a few sore throats ( and a sore butt) as well as the blood when I blew my nose - having that now, as I am 11 days out from my last Taxotere.
RobbinJaye, have a great time at the music festival. Wish I could go.
Nancy - enjoy your trip to see your niece. Congrats on the Relay. I'm doing that in June, my friend Debbie is honouring me and we have pledges over $1000. too.
Rebecca - Mazel Tov on Frances' medals - your kids are very cute - DH ain't bad either.
Not too much else is doing. Watched "The Batchelor" I know it's nonsense, but I need the airy romantic stuff on TV right now (as my own romantic life is pretty light right now)...
Good night ladies,
hugs to all
caya -
Melia -
you go girl - 7 and counting - we are right there with you - hopefully everything will be okay for Wed.
hugs
caya -
Hi all,
The nurse finally called back around 4:00. Apparently the BS just came back from a maternity leave of absence, and this nurse is her old nurse of 5 years returning to her. I guess that the BS has had temporaries in her office while she was on leave, and they obviously were not too good and gave out wrong information. The nurse told me she had to put out quite a few fires since her return on Friday. Not my problem, but she feels that it is not her fault either. We talked quite a while, and while I could not budge her, she promised that she would call if she had any cancellations. I understand she needs all my films and slides read before she sees me, but it is frustrating nevertheless. Now that I tried my best, I have to let it go. Thanks again for all your advice and support.
Skye,
I am glad they finally found someone for you. Hopefully they will call tomorrow so you can move forward. This bureaucracy is surely so frustrating and full of inefficiencies.
Caya & Skye,
I am feeling the tight pants ickyness also.
Mizsissy, I hope you go camping. It sounds comfy and fun, especially if the weather is nice.
Nancy,
Getting away is always fun. Is it going to be a big family gathering?
Jan,
I hope you are feeling better. I also watch Desperate Housewives. I really enjoy the it- I think it is so funny. It could stand some realism though, and if they could show Lynette experiencing chemo and some of the s/e, I think it would be enlightening. The show could use some humanizing while maintaining its comic edge. That being said, it is a silly show though.
Tina,
My dh is retired, and is home all the time- great during chemo- and great most of the time, but I wouldnt mind if he went somewhere for a few days.
Melia,
This week you will be halfway done!!! I know it is hard, and feeling crappy is not fun, but look how far we have come- just a little bit more- and you can enjoy the summer- chemo free!! I hope your blood counts are good tomorrow.
Caya,
Sounds like you had a great meal with great friends. What could be better than that?
Rebecca,
Did you hear from the doc today?
Good night,
Viddie -
Well, still nothing on my MRI...so much for the radiologist getting the report to my onc within an hour as he promised. I knew it sounded too good to be true. I amy call again today. By now they are used to me being me so it should be ok
Mizsissy...my goodness woman that is a no-brainer! Get your butt in that camper IMMEDIATELY!
Viddie and Skye-glad things seem to be starting to move along. It is so difficult dealing with the bureaucracy in situations like this. Nobody else seems to feel the urgency that you do. So frustrating. I feel for you both. I still shudder when I remember that my insurance company has basically covered the surgery to place my tissue expanders but DENIES the visits required to fill it. The reasons for the denial are bureaucratic in nature, of course!
Caya it sounds like you had a great time, and that you are starting to feel better yipeeeeee!
Skye-on the name...I do not think of toilets when I see that spelling, but I have to say that it distinctly resembles "Arrrrrrrgggghhhhh" which I guess is appropriate I see lots of strange names in my line of work. First day of class requires EVERYONE to have a sense of humor when I read the roster. I actually have to PRACTICE beforehand. I think that my favorite funny name that I have found is "Eros". Now that is a name for a little boy to live up to, isn't it? tee hee. The girls had very high expectations of him, let me tell you!
Well anyway...I do not watch these television shows like you other ladies...mostly because of my kids. I DO, however, have a liking for trashy space opera novels, and I ordered a whole bunch! They have started to dribble in, the first two arrived yesterday (there are 11 books in the series) I am so excited to spend the next few weeks immersed in a totally imaginary world, particularly since the real one is such a bummer sometimes. SHHHH do not tell my students that their English Prof likes Space opera!!!!!
On the other hand I had a good time with my son yesterday....I decided on the spur of the moment to try and teach him to ride a bike. It was absolutely hilarious. He was so excited that he could not stop laughing like a crazed lunatic every time he started to pedal, and he could not coordinate pedaling and steering. It was a bad combination...he could RIDE the thing without me holding him up, but he could only go in circles, and then he would fall (still howling with laughter) or hit the curb. I am on a mission now though. we are going to go out every day and practice. I think by the end of the week he will be cruising around. I wanted to take pics, but the battery in my camera died, and I think that when he is older he will kill me if I record this moment because the bike he is learning on is pastel pink, and his helmet is a combination of rainbows and leopard spots. It is tough being the youngest kid in the family....lots of handmedowns.
have a good morning everyone! -
Rebecca, try Owen on a Razor scooter. It really helped when Jaclyn was learning to ride her bike....taught her to balance.
Gotta run...need to be at a neighbors at 10:30 and I'm not dressed. -
Space opera? Have never heard of it.
I loooooooove Desperate Housewives. Watched it last night on TiVo. I liked seeing that Lynette's mother survived BC so long. I think they are portraying Lynette as taking the whole dx very lightly. Granted, it's not suppposed to be a heavy show. But any mother of young kids would be much more devestated than they made it out to be. I bet they will show her going through chemo, etc. She seems like the kind of actress that would like to make that stretch. Can't see Eva Longoria doing it.
Speaking of which, it's strange to see her getting stomped on by the politician. And the Edie scene at the end???!!! Whoa.... they sure transformed her to unstable in one week. Thought the Susan/Mike wedding was under the top, after all that buildup. I'm kind of sick of that whole story anyway. Time to move on for them. LOL'ing at Bree pretending to have a baby. I have to say, I loooooove that show. Such a mindless hour for me. I kind of wish the lymphoma storyline wasn't there. It's cancer, cancer, cancer everywhere. I like our group here because I can come online and talk when I feel like it and not vice versa.
OK...... I MUST get dressed/ready now. Mega procrastinator in the am! -
We're doing it!!! DH is taking Thursday off and we'll leave first thing in the morning, spend Thursday and Friday nights and return Saturday to be here in time for church on Sunday, UNLESS we just can't tear ourselves away, in which case we'll stay another night.
Thunder showers are predicted for Thursday, but that's OK, because we can do everything in the camper if need be...cook, eat, and it will be so cozy & romantic.
I'm going to get busy today packing up everything we need & tomorrow I'll go to the library to find some books. We'll take pictures & post them when we return.
Mary...we'll definitely be back on Memorial Day for the bike ride!!! Did you get my email yesterday? I also sent the same message via the PM system this AM.
Oh..almost forgot. Got the result from the bone scan yesterday and I have OSTEOPENIA. Never heard of it, but it's not as bad as osteoporosis, but I'm not going to subject my bones to 5 years of Femara and bone loss. So I've decided to take tamoxifen instead. In fact, the prescription is already waiting for me at the pharmacy. I guess I'll make the switch to Effexor after I've gotten used to the tamo.
Feeling pretty chipper this AM; got my tea, my laptop, my view and a great night's sleep under my belt. Hope everyone has a great day!!
xxxooo Mizsissy -
Hey there gals ,
I am doing this post in word so I do not loose it .. In more ways than one ha ha .
Mizsissy go camping and enjoy, we did not go this long weekend and usually do we stayed home and I did a lot of gardening.
Robinhope you had a great time at your music festival I presume you camp when you go.
Caya hope you had a enjoyable long weekend and dinner sounded lovely
Jan : me I do not watch too much TV I am trying to stay away from it .do get involved in a few like Americas next top model with my daughters , that over now .
Skye: your troubles with getting rads holy cow it must bugger your girls minds sometimes with your medical system Hope you do not have to drive too far. I start Friday and have to drive down to Toronto for my rads and in the worst kind of traffic . This for the next 6 weeks we will SE how the gas $$$$ every day now . We have been pretty good about saving money on driving so far . Most of my appointments are at 4:00 - 5 : 00 in the afternoon rush hour !!!!
Rebecca: your kids and family look wonderful, good luck on the bike riding its a milestone in a boys life for sure.
Viddie : hope our situation works out , maybe just letting it go for a bit will let things work out for the better you never know . Never a dull moment though .
Mela we are here for ya vent , soon the day will come , hope that your side effects are not too bad and you are feeling better .
Me I am just waiting to start my rads , my hair is starting to grow back but you can still see my scalp . I wear hats and caps now my wig occasionally . Feeling normal yippee just tired have to rest a lot between projects , right now its my garden . Went with my next-door neighbor yesterday visiting a few garden centers and picked up some lavender to plant in my herb / wildflower garden .
Having trouble staying inside the spring here has been nice . I just have to make sure to cover the back of my neck and my ears with sunscreen . -
Hey, I'm packing today, just realized I DON'T NEED deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, setting lotion, bobby pins, curlers, hair dryer, hair brush, comb, or any of that nonsense. Just soap, toothpaste, toothbrush...whew!!! Hey, I can share my husband's toilet kit!!!!!
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Good for you Mizsissy! Glad you are going!
I have a question... I have never really experienced this before today but I am feeling rather strange. I am wondering if I am having what a lot of you referred to as chemo fog? I feel numb, and even my eyesight is blurry and foggy, I just don't feel like myself at all, and very hard to describe the symptoms. Just walking from one room to another is exhausting. -
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Good for you Mizsissy! Glad you are going!
I have a question... I have never really experienced this before today but I am feeling rather strange. I am wondering if I am having what a lot of you referred to as chemo fog? I feel numb, and even my eyesight is blurry and foggy, I just don't feel like myself at all, and very hard to describe the symptoms. Just walking from one room to another is exhausting.
nancy, it sounds like some serious fatigue. If it is very different than what you have experienced before it does not hurt to call your chemo-nurse. -
Nancy - that sounds like my typical day 5. But, if it's new for you it is probably a good idea to call your nurse.
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Hey ladies,
Mizsissy, sounds like a fun weekend. We had a popup when the kids were young and loved to take them camping. It's as close to a tent as I will ever get..and must have a campground with nice bathrooms.
Shorti, looks like you and I are both waiting for rads. My hair is almost at a standstill except the areas on the sides that before were bare, sticky skin now have soft fuzz too so I guess that is progress. Still not an armpit hair in sight.
Nancy, I agree with Jan and Rebecca. Usually chemo-fog shows up sooner than this. I'd call the chemo nurse pronto, if only for peace of mind.
I woke up feeling terrible so I showered, ate breakfast, took an Alleve and went back to bed. That helped.
Yesterday I put on my wig and went to the post office, where I saw an acquaintance I hadn't seen for some time. She said, "Oh, I like your hair that color!" I debated over what to say for about half a second then just said thank you. It gives me a chuckle to think about.
Still waiting for rads onc, hope it isn't like waiting for Godot, who never arrives. Rebecca I like any sort of space thing, which "opera" did you order?
==Skye -
Have a fabulous time!
Don't worry about the Tamoxifen. I've had very minimal s/e from it. The worst has been some joint pain but not severe. I don't even take any pain relievers for it.
Cindy -
I had a long, thoughtful, revealing post about facing life post-BC. Then my brother called before I got it sent and the site timed out and the post was lost.
Buggers.
I'll have to rewrite it. I think you ladies can help me.
But it will have to wait until after dinner. My youngest daughter will be here soon to have supper.
Cindy -
I just have to get this off my chest. There are 2 women I was friends with in high school. We have not seen each other in years and just exchange Christmas and birthday cards. Word got out recently about my diagnosis and suddently they are sending me cards telling me how concerned they are, mailing old photos of us together, wanting to plan a cross country reunion.
I appreciate their concern, but really, I am almost through the worst part of this journey, I am relatively upbeat about things. And I just resent having to explain everything again, convince them I'm fine (really!), don't need any help at this point(they both live clear across the country and I realize they are just being nice), and finally, am not near death.
I know we've all dealt with well-meaning friends and relatives being overly dramatic on our behalf, but I just want to get back to normal life. Instead of it making me feel supported, it makes me feel gross. I am tired of trying to convince people I am okay.
These are not close friends, although they used to be. Now I get the feeling they are sorry we lost touch and want to be sure to see me before I kick the bucket.
I know this sounds terrible but I just want to be normal again and have people treat me normally. I would like to see them but not because I have CANCER! This whole experience is just exhausting. And it's not just the treatment that does it.
Oh, and I have several people running/walking for me in various breast cancer fund raising things. It is really an honor, but honestly, I do not enjoy this kind of attention. I know I sound really ungrateful, but I do not want to be a breast cancer poster child at this point.
Thanks for listening guys. I know you will understand. -
Greetings everyone!
I finally got the call from my Onc about the MRI, and YIPEEEEE!!! I am clean as far as they can tell. Unfortunately there was a lot of artifact from my tissue expander (it has a bit of metal in the filling port) so they want me to repeat after it is out just to be totally sure. WHEW.
Skye- I am in the process of aquiring "The Saga of the Skolian Empire" by Catherine Asaro. Many of the books are out of print, so I have had to get them used but I am almost there. It is a nicely written series, a bit racy in spots but otherwise very well imagined and suitably intricate. I have read parts of it before...and now since I am in need of a serious diversion I decided to go for the whole thing.
Amera- I know what you mean. I find people that simply appear when things are bad to be somewhat gross...I have a vulture Aunt like that. She has called me more in the last 6 months than in the last 10 years combined. On the other hand.....I think she (and your friends) mean well. I just take her calls and leave it at that. I think they will either go away or re-enter your life for real. Sometimes it takes something like this to kick start a relationship...try to see the bright side, and maybe you should just outright tell them that you do not want to talk about BC. I told my mom that the last time she called for a catalog of my SE...she took it well and stopped making me relive my discomfort in detail over the phone. -
Thanks girls I will call the nurse. It is very weird how I feel and I'm going to take an ativan because it's making me anxious too. I will let you know what I am told.
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Rebecca, great news on the MRI. Mizsissy, I'll email you back soon after talking with DH. Nancy, hope you feel better real soon. Joni if you're out there--please say a prayer for the Red Wings tonight.
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Amera I dont think you sound even a bit ungrateful. I certainly understand what you are saying about your friends and the walks. I have to believe we will all reach some point where everything wont be revolving around cancer. Somehow knowing friends are well meaning isnt always enough to keep me from wishing I could scream at them. People who havent been through this just dont understand that we arent all going to drop dead.
Rebecca Great News!!!!! I love the story of your mom calling for a catalog of se my mom does that too (almost daily). I cant give her a hard time about it though since shes been treating cancer patients her whole career (rad tech) I figure I just have to submit and let her do her thing. She gasped over the phone last night when I reported my blood counts thanks mom, way to make me feel better
Nancy hope you are feeling better very soon!
Viddie? Joni? How you doing?
Mizsissy have a wonderful time on the camping trip. I love to camp (as long as I have shower access). Enjoy!
Cindy - it always seems that my thoughtful posts get zapped, while the more trivial ones always do fine. Hope you can get it re-written.
Im feeling somewhat normal for the first time today. Started out bad this morning up at 6:30 to get kids ready for school and felt like crap. DH usually does the morning routine for me but he had an early morning meeting. Anyway, by lunch time I felt OK and still do now, so thats significant improvement.
Is it true that last nights episode of Sopranos was good? Thats the word from DHs office, so I guess Im going to have to catch up on those 4 episodes sitting on the DVR.
Have a good night all. -
Hi everyone,
I'm back from my weekend in Orlando (not home, now on business portion of trip in Charleston SC). We had a fabulous time! Cirque de Soleil was absolutely amazing! I highly recommend to anyone who has not seen one of their shows.
To not bore you all with everything we did, I'll comment on some interesting things I went through because of this BC stuff. First, like you Mizsissy, my toiletries we very light, just make-up, skin care and toothbrush/paste.
I had purchased 2 mastectomy bathing suits. They are both tankini's and both have an attached skirt on the bottom. I just couldn't deal with my fat butt showing on top of everything else. We went to 2 different water parks at Disneyworld. There were 2 things I had to work through. One was my head. I couldn't exactly wear a scarf in the water and couldn't bare the thought of a bathing cap, so I went around the water parks topless both days. I didnt mind it at all. I have about ¼ inch of hair and forgot about it most of the time. Really easy out of the water, no having to worry about my hair and how it dries. The other thing was dealing with my prosthesis while in the the water..would it fall out? would it turn upside-down or backwards? Would it be unever with my other breast? would everyone tell that it's not my real boob? These were by far the biggest of my worries. I only went down waterslides that had a tube, no body slides, no mat slides. When we went into the wave pool, I spent more time checking my boob than I did playing in the waves. All day I was constantly fixing my straps and checking to make sure everything was in place. What a PITA. I came out of the weekend feeling even better about my decision to have DIEP reconstruction. I love swimming and water and just hated having to deal with the prosthesis. But all in all, it was a fabulous weekend and we thoroughly enjoyed each other and relaxed!
Mary, what an inspiring service for your BIL. Im so glad you came from it feeling like you did.
Rebecca, congrats on the results from the MRI. J Great pics of the family!
Mizsissy, you are so talented! The dress is lovely!
Viddie, looks like you figured out the dilemma with your dd. The cottage sounds like a nice getaway for you. I agree with Mel, take a deep breath and try to work it all out. Its so hard to be patient with incompetent people, but dont let them change what your goal is.
Nancy, I was offered a clinical trial similar to the one you were offered that consisted on either ovary removal or lupron for 5 years. I chose not to do it because I was afraid of the long-term effects of ovary removal on my bones. I was also afraid of instant menopause. I knew that chemo would probably put me into menopause, but didnt want it to happen in one day if I could help it. I have not spoken to my gyn about ovary removal yet and will when I see him in August. For now, Ill be going on Tamoxofin and will start taking them in about 2 weeks.
Jan, so glad you are starting to feel better. I actually think my #5 was worse than #6 was.
Oh, and the hot flashes and night sweats were worse, especially at night. I just could not figure out the air conditioning, hot flashes and night sweats enough to get a good night sleep. Im going to bed early tonight.
Sorry this got really long.
Hugs to all! -
As I started the recovery from chemo, lots of life review/deep thoughts started rolling out of my head. Surprisingly so, I wasnt prepared because with the thoughts have come a wave of emotions that rival any Ive had since I found my lump last September.
Apparently, Im now dealing with issues that relate to life changes occurring ten years ago! The concentration has been on me, all about me. The appointments and treatments and working and generally fighting to stay up and moving forward kept me from recognizing what the cancer may mean to me in the future. Now that my heads clearing from the chemo fog and rush of treatment decisions, etc I am thinking about my future. And Im not secure in what it may be.
Ten years ago my husband of 20 years and I separated. I was in school to complete my BS in social services. I had two young teenage daughters. A year later we divorced. I was happy and content to focus on completing school, working and supporting and loving my daughters through a painful time.
Then I decided to go to nursing school. That was a crazy three year period!!! Plus my daughters were graduating HS, going to college, then getting married. I was working and completing school again.
Then I was starting another new career. Pushing my daughters out of the house.  I dated some but nothing solid ever developed. Last spring I had my gall bladder out, the youngest got married and then I found my lump.
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