The Flat Look Vs Prosthesis (with Pics)
Ok, there has been quite alot of discussion on this board regarding whether those of us who have chosen NOT to have reconstruction, prefer to wear our prosthesis or go for the "flat look". Several ladies who are still in the process of deciding, have requested pictures (in clothing of course ) from ladies who have gone the flat route. Since I actually had some free time today and was avoiding doing any real work at home, I decided to offer my input including pics on the "flat vs prosthesis" discussion.
First of all let me premise my post with a few comments. My choices and preferences are directly related to my personal life circumstances ie. age, marriage status, body type etc. In other words, each of us have valid and unique reasons for our choices as it relates to our BC and living with the aftermath. So view my post only as an "example" of what works for me but not as a solution for everyone else.
To keep this topic in perspective, because I know how much we all love to compare ourselves to each other, whether it is our pathologies, nodal count or cup size, I will provide some of my personal statistics just as a reference point. I am 53 years old, married 35 years to a great guy, am 5'11" but over 6 foot in shoes, am about 40 lbs overweight at 205lbs, prior to bilateral mastectomy I wore a 38C bra, I now have a size 7 prosthesis when I choose to wear it.
I have been minus breasts for going on 18 months. I really never considered reconstruction, but I did anticipate that I would definitely wear a prosthesis. After developing LE in my left arm and then 6 weeks of rads where I wore no prosthesis, I found I appreciated the comfort level of not messing with bras and prosthesis. My original prosthesis was heavy and the bra bands across my chest were not helpful for my LE. I basically went flat all the time at home and out in public for a period of months, getting over my sense of embarrassment fairly quickly. Early this year I went to a new mastectomy fitter and purchased a much lighter prosthesis plus wear them in a stretchy torso length garment instead of a bra.
The following pics I took today to show a comparison between going flat or wearing my prosthesis in the same clothing. My personal observations are that it really does not make all that much difference in my perceived body image. In some ways I think going flat gives the illusion of appearing thinner. A lot of the visual appeal depends on the garments worn. I generally wear whatever is comfortable at home, but have learned that layers, neckline decorations and styles with fullness at the bustline tend to compliment the flat look. I do still wear my prosthesis, but usually only when I need to dress up for a special occasion. Sometimes it just depends on my mood. There are days when I enjoy filling out my clothing to best advantage, but in general personal comfort over-rules my fashion sense.
The pics on the left are my "flat look" and the pics on the right are while wearing my prosthesis. (EDIT: Hmm well if the images don't display side by side then the first image of a set is without the prosthesis)
I don't know if this is helpful to others or not but for me it reinforces my belief that the difference is not so dramatic that I should spend too much time worrying about it. I probably go "flat" 80% of the time, but I certainly will wear my prosthesis for those times when I think my personal appearance is of particular import. Otherwise, the pic below is how you are most likely to see me at home, the grocery store or visiting with my neighbors.
Linda
Comments
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THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much.
I could KISS YOU for taking the time for us undecideds!!!!!!!
You are correct, the difference is certainly there, but from the pix I don't think a huge difference at all.
BLESS your heart for taking the time for this!!!!!
I love this board!!! -
Thank you sooooooooooooo very much, LindaLou. I'm scheduled for double mast on Monday with no recon. You've certainly reinforced my decision. I appreciate everything you've said and the pictures. What a blessing to have these discussion boards and wonderful people like you who help. Now, I'm just trying to decide what type of clothes to wear immediately after I get home. The doctor said that I'd probably have my drains 1-2 weeks, and I'd like to prepare ahead of time. Would you suggest button fronts or pullovers? P.J.s or nightgowns? Slacks and shirts or loose dresses? Any advice?
Marlee1 -
Hi Marlee,
I would definitely stay away from pullovers. I found the snap front smock tops with large pockets like the kind nurses wear to be most practical and comfortable for me. Go to any uniform shop and they will have tons of pretty colored or print tops that are roomy, easy to take off and on with the snaps and the pockets are great for pinning drains to or carrying anything you want to keep close at hand. Any kind of extra roomy tops with open fronts should work. I would also get soft knit pullon pants with the elastic waist bands. The main concept is comfort and ease of taking on and off.
You are just beginning your journey and hard as it may seem right now, there is light at the end. Best wishes for your surgery on Monday.
Linda -
Linda - you look great both ways. I think for casual dressing flat is the way to go, but for some formal occasions I think wearing a proth dresses up the way we look.
I only had a single but am so small that it looks as if I had both removed. -
I haven't even had my bilat. scheduled and yet I am so very appreciative of your taking the time to post these pix. I may very well have a lengthy period between mast. and reconstruction so these give me a good idea of what I can expect.
BTW - you look especially FABULOUS in that pink top - both ways!
Thank you,
Lisa -
Fantastic idea, LindaLou!! Thank you so much for answering me so quickly. I'm going shopping tonight and will take your advice. I have no idea what drains look like or how they work. I've had 2 lumpectomies (with no clear margins) and chemo. This is the next step . . . 1 mast needed . . . 1 my choice to reduce worry. No recon to eliminate side effects, problems, more surgeries, and more pain and discomfort. I'm ready to start my "new life." Your encouragement means a great deal!
Marlee1 -
Linda,
These are wonderful photos. You honestly look terrific both ways. And in some of the pics, the flat look does have a slimming effect! -
That was very thoughtful of you! You look great in all the pics. Thanks for sharing.
Take care,
--Hattie -
Linda -
Wow! You did a great job for us flat chested girls! That was lots of work - changing outfits - taking the photos - down loading them, etc...Much appreciated. My opinion...you look great in either, but for me...I'm too self-conscious and I feel that without prosths, I'm drawing negative attention to myself, but with prosths I'm drawing no attention - just kinda blending in. That may sound weird, but that's how I think. Thanks again! I'm amazed and touched by the dedication here! -
I think sometimes we are our own worst critics.
You are right, the difference is not great. I'd also note that you're standing up straight, something most of us don't do all the time. My uncle calls that 'parade posture'. Everybody looks better.
I don't think I would notice it if I saw you on the street, or at the grocery store.
I wish I were 5'11" ! -
Linda, let me jump in w/the others and thank you for all your trouble, you look terrific, this really does help us with ideas,
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Thanks Laura,
I understand completely about wanting to "blend in" and not draw attention to yourself. I have always had a problem with that to some degree due to my height. I was 5'10" by the time I was 14 years old. I got used to "sticking out in the crowd" for that reason. But especially now since the BC and LE I have just decided to go with the flow. I have to wear my arm sleeve and glove every single day so that is often a source of conversation with strangers. I really don't mind discussing LE and BC with people who seem interested. I run a LE support group at my therapist's office so welcome the chance to spread awareness when I can. When it came to the decision to go flat I figured I would still be drawing attention whether I did or not...so I decided I might as well be comfortable and save myself the time of dealing with prosthesis.
Linda -
Hi Rose,
Yes as much as I was self-conscious of my height when younger I am very grateful to be tall. My mother was constantly after me to "stand tall", "put your shoulders back" etc. but I'm glad she did.
I will make another comment though to the undecideds or those ladies yet to have their mastectomies. I was made brutally aware of my "midriff bulge" immediately after my mastectomies. It was easier for me to ignore when my breasts at least projected out further than my belly, but without breasts, only willow thin body frames will have a sleek, slim appearing torso. I also noted that my lower rib cage had now become the most prominent "projection" along with my rotund abdomen. This is one of the reasons why I still choose to wear my prosthesis for dress-up events, just so I can get a better balanced look in clothing.
My goal is to drop the excess weight and try to exercise to slim down the belly area. Although if history is any indicator, don't hold your breath to see the new "skinny" me
Linda -
Lindalou:
Thank you so much for all of that work. I am 10 days out from bilateral and trying to decide what to do with myself. Those pictures helped so much. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. -
Just wanted to chime in...I had my bilateral on May 7 and am doing well. I have one drain left. I had one fall out and the other one came out yesterday. I should get the last one removed on Friday. The camisole to hold the drains has been great. I got pants with stretch waist (track pants) and little jip up the front short sleeved jackets that have worked great. I was able to pick most of my stuff up at Kohls. It seems the short sleeve zip up jacket is popular this spring and they had a number of colors. Hope this helps. The anticipation was much worse then the surgery and recovery had gone very smoothly.
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Hi, Mellen,
My bilat is scheduled for Monday . . . you've given me hope I just came back from preop blood work and there was a uniform sale in the hospital lobby. I bought a nurse's smock like LindaLou suggested. However, I think I'll take your advice also. Do you have any other suggestions for easing post-surgery recovery? Any little bit would help to ease pre-op jitters. I'm so happy that your recovery is going so well. I'm hoping that I'll be able to go back to my sedentary job after 2 or 3 weeks.
Marlee1 -
Lindalou,
Thanks for taking the time to take all those pics. I wear my prosthetics probably 90% of the time and just go flat around the house. The MAIN reason I wear the forms outside of the home is due to that tummy bulge you described
Marlee-good luck with surgery. Recovery was faster and easier than I expected. Take deep breaths for your jitters. OR, a glass or two of vino
Take care,
Bugs -
The pictures are wonderful. I find going without makes me look thinner and for the first time in my life I can wear necklaces and am buying them like a drunken whatever is pc. Before I was so large chested that necklaces looked silly. The necklaces also distract from the missing breasts. I get the bigger, chunkier ones to wear in lovely colors. Also like the idea of nurses smock tops and will look for a uniform shop this weekend.
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Linda,
Your post, pictures and thread are wonderful! ! !
I had a bilateral mast. a year ago April and have gone flat ever since. I love it. Your pictures are so helpful and what else is helpful is to see you with your sleeve on in a picture. I had never seen anyone with an LE sleeve on and it looks fine. I had no idea what they looked like.
So thank you for showing that too.
I am also blessed (?) with an "out there belly" due to chemo. Can't win that struggle.
Anyway I just wanted to tell you how very much it means to me that you shared your pictures and words of wisdom.
You look beautiful. -
You look great! I go around with the one boob look in my house......and the family has gotten so use to it! I also like the flat feeling better......boobs were never a big thing to me....I have also adjusted to the fake boob pretty well..so when needed....I INSERT.....and set out on my daily adventure!
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Lindalou,
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU!!!
You have helped me SEE and understand what my husband has been trying to tell me. Nobody is staring, Nobody SEES.
You look beautiful. And by looking at you.. I can now see myself more clearly.Now my decision to wear or not wear my prosthetics can be a choice I make for the right reasons.You are an angel for going through all the trouble it took to create that post. We need to always keep it bumped! -
Hi again ladies,
I've posted a question on the friendships bb and it basically asks if anyone thinks a pamphlet or something showing women with no reconstruction, discussing decisions why they opted for this and having a few pages of these sorts of pictures that show how clothing hangs on ladies with and without forms would be helpful or more agonizing.
I had sort of a wake-up this morning about this trying to decide if this would be worth doing.
I'm still waiting for my surgery so I can't speak to how a woman already having the bilaterals would feel....thoughts? -
I'm still trying to get some pics together of my flat chest clothes look. Most of the pics were taken by my dh with the grandkids or someone else, who might not want to be shown on the board. I need to get the pics from his computer, crop them, and then post them, when I figure out just how to do that! I'm happier with how I look without the prostheses than I was with them, and I FEEL a LOT better. I think a pamphlet would be helpful - or a website. I would have appreciated it when I was getting ready for this surgery last year!
Dawn -
When I was anticipating my bilateral mastectomy I was desperate to get an up-close and personal look at what the possible results might be for nonreconstructed surgery. I didn't feel comfortable coming out and asking, and no one volunteered. So I've made a point of volunteering to show my chest whenever I hear that someone is faced with this decision. Also happy to share pix privately with anyone on the board who wishes them. I'm comfortable with my decision and don't think my chest is particularly traumatizing to look at!
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Thanks Linda, you look fabulous! I wish I could participate but right now I'm stuck in a uni boob stage (due to a need to start chemo again). I wish I had the option of flat.
Jill -
Thank you Lindalou, the pictures are wonderful.
I'm a single mastectomy, but I go around 90% of the time without my prosthetic. My family and friends are so used to me like this that when I wear it, they ask me 'Are you going somewhere special?' lol
I'm a size 32AA long...yet, when I wear the whole shebang I feel fat and it irritates the crap out of me. Your pics have convinced me no one notices so why am I bothering?
Thanks again.
~Pam -
Lindalou
thanks for the pics they are great. I have long suspected that if most of us were to appear flat ultimately we would not feel so self-conscious. I was very small before the mast 32AA- so know the feeling well. But you look wonderful.
Cate -
Your pictures are Great. You actually look slimmer and look younger without the breast forms. Sometimes as we age, our breasts give us a matronly look.
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You look great without the prothetics! Thank you for all of your effort and kindness in posting your pics. I had a right mastectomy (Nov06) and feel great going around my home without the bra and form. I have been self-conscious if anyone comes to our home and I don't have a bra on. I feel more empowered now, not to be so uncomfortable. Thank you again Linda!
Blessings,
Ginny -
Wallycat,
I'd vote yes on a pamphlet!! For me, knowing the truth was anticlimatic after the horror that my imagination cooked up.I would have loved having such a pamphlet available to me. It would have saved me lots of needless fear.
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