I can't get my act together and I don't know why

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  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited April 2007
    thanks so much to everybody who's posted things to me. Vickie, great link!

    i'm doing okay. have been at my mom's for the past week caring for my stepfather AND my mother. would you believe her back went out so now i have two of them in bed. thank god i had the week off. we have had a LOT of laughs among the three of us. at one point, while waiting for his hospital bed to be delivered, i had them both in one bed and my mom needed pj's that button in the front so i put her in a pair of my stepfather's. i stepped back and realized i had them in identical pj's. they looked real silly just sitting there all identical in bed. i said, "Look at the two of you! what a mess you both are." we couldn't stop giggling. i also inadvertently put cuticle softner up my stepdad's nose instead of saline solution. big oops.

    my stepfather wants to fight and so i am acting as one of his reinforcements. he told me the other day that he is going to live longer than everybody thinks he is. my response: "then you will!"

    the drug he is on comes with its own set of horrendous side effects. we're doing all we can to minimize them. we have hospice coming in a couple times a week. what a godsend they are.

    i've been so busy with them that i haven't had time to feel down about myself, so this time has been a blessing for me. as we all know, cancer does come with some benefits...although i'd give anything for him to be NED...or even just to be able to take one simple, long, deep breath. his lung mets are making breathing a chore.

    also, weirdly, i'm keeping a very clean house over here. how bizarre is that? it's more fun cleaning someone else's house. i have everything sparkling. when i get home, i know i'm going back to my slovenly ways, though.
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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited April 2007
    Hey GSG...you can come clean my house next...promise it would be fun NOT!
    Glad the link helped.
    Hugs
    Vickie
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  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited April 2007
    vickie: it's a proven fact it's more fun cleaning other people's houses. :lightbulb: hey! maybe we should all clean each other's!

    first, i'd have to insist that we all take an oath promising not to make threads about each other's pigpens.


    :crosses her fingers behind her back:
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  • RobinTN
    RobinTN Member Posts: 654
    edited April 2007

    Hey GSG,Wanna come to my house? It sure does need cleaning and I promise to keep you laughing.

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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited April 2007
    Oh I promise!!!!
    We could all swap houses for a week and come home to a spotless house...well...if I don't bring my crocheting along LOL.
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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited April 2007

    Hey Robin...I'll come clean house for you and I'll bet you can guess the very first thing I will throw out LOL! Yup...DH...out with the trash!!!

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  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited April 2007
    i don't trust vickie and her crocheting to clean my house. i'm gonna switch with RobinTN. No, wait. I'm gonna switch with Doc cuz her house is already clean. except for the dead rat smell in that one room and i'll just bring a bottle of febreze.
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  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited April 2007
    i'm gonna take RobinTN with me, though, to Doc's house to keep me laughing and she can spray the febreze
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2007
    Patrice, it's nice to "see" you smile. I know it's so rewarding to be able to take care of you're parents at this time...I didn't say easy.

    At least you didn't put Preparation H on your stepdads nose.
    And, a better idea for the jammies...Mom sleeps in top, Dad sleeps in bottoms. I didn't say that, did I?
    Shirley
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  • SWANKETTEGAL
    SWANKETTEGAL Member Posts: 26
    edited April 2007

    I feel that way too.....cleaning my house, laundry,cooking and having my Dad living with us while he recuperates ( since middle of Ded) have really drained me. Glad to hear I am not alone.I have realy tried to wear a brave face but right now I am about over it

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  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited April 2007
    LOL@Shirley's remarks. Thanks for making me laugh, Shirley. You ALWAYS do.

    I went home yesterday. As predicted, I have returned to my slovenly ways.
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2007
    Patrice, don't feel too badly. I have my kids coming home and all I've done in a matter of four days is vacuum and steam clean the stairs (bout broke my back..good excuse to get it done), and den. I've managed to put clean sheets on two beds AFTER I washed them. LOL Put the same one's on so I would have to fold them. Getting ready to do another bed. I think I'm going to vacuum and mop the foyer and kitchen. Perhaps get the little half bath done..that's easy. Perhaps I'll even get my dusting done downstairs. Boy, I do sound energetic..NOT! I just keep the dining room and living room doors closed and do not clean those rooms. LOL Okay, so now I need to clean both baths upstairs...their bath is easy....ours is putrid (really dirty). Need to vacuum all the rooms (:() and really need to shampoo our carpet. And really need to dust our bedroom. And really need to change our sheets. I won't get it all done. The kids will have to put up with some filth. And by the time the grandkiddies get here it'll be torn apart in 30 minutes or less. Oh, and I also need to vacuum the dusty walls (noticed the dust on the walls!). Think they'll notice? Who cares anyway. The men are too busy watching every sport on TV and we're too busy chasing the kids around and napping when they nap.

    If I would give up my "slovenly" ways (stealing Patrice's adverb) I wouldn't be so pushed to do all this stuff. The house would be nice and shiney all the time. HAHAHA

    In a minute I shall do SOMETHING.
    Shirley
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  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited April 2007
    i wonder if shirley
    did SOMETHING in a
    minute or if she stayed
    on the board posting.
    image
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  • Doc
    Doc Member Posts: 56
    edited April 2007
    Hi, Patrice!

    I haven't looked on this thread for a while but I see that the most memorable thing about me is my dead rat. Snif snif. Well, I did volunteer that information, didn't I??
    By the way, it almost smells normal again, so that means it is about time for another one to die and refresh the aroma.

    As a new feature of interest, I have a swarm of fruit flies in my kitchen (rode in to the house on a bunch of bananas, I think..) Man do those teeny gnatty things reproduce fast! They also follow me around the house if I have a glass of red wine. No I won't share!

    Keep laughing, it helps, doesn't it?
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2007
    Quote:

    i wonder if shirley
    did SOMETHING in a
    minute or if she stayed
    on the board posting.
    image



    HAHAHAHA!

    Just came back to check and saw your post. LOL.

    Listen, I put stuff off until the last minute. I had to go grocery shopping and they got here right before I got home. At least I had some help with hauling in the bags.

    It's taken me days to recoup. I thought I wouldn't be able to move again...stiff, stiff, stiff. But loved seeing the grandbabies.

    Would you believe I need to clean again!? Well, I'm not!
    Shirley
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  • Karen1957
    Karen1957 Member Posts: 4
    edited April 2007
    Patrice,
    Thank you for helping me discover I am not the only one in this boat. I found this site yesterday and it has been wonderful to read all the posts. I also appreciate the post with the link from Vickie, it helped me come to terms with the post treatment fatigue.
    Karen
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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited April 2007

    Patrice - I am only 5 weeks out from my last procedure and the hardest thing for me is my last of stamina.I think its even harder when we look "normal" and are done treatments people expect us to be just fine and dandy. But I am not. Side effects from AI's and now Tamox have change who I am. i have more to say, but I am at work and am being beckonned. Chat with you again. Wishing you feel good days.

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  • althea
    althea Member Posts: 1,595
    edited April 2007
    I suppose things are better today than one year ago when I broke out with shingles. Still, I didn't get my tax crap pulled together on time. So I fill out the extension form and send in as much money as I have available. I use those checks with the carbon copy. I noticed this week that I neglected to fill in the line where you write the amount longhand. I can only hope the IRS won't add a zero to my dollar amount!

    I've been irritable lately and doing other stupid things that make my life more difficult. All this on the heels of bloodwork showing that my thyroid has actually moved INTO the normal range (was slightly off since last summer). I want some relief and I want it now! Since my thyroid doesn't seem to be out of whack, I reckon it must be the tamoxifen kicking my butt. so tired of being tired.
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  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 2,264
    edited April 2007
    Only read a few of these posts, but wanted to share ... I finished chemo in Jan 06, then finished rads in March 06. It definitely takes a while to get strength and all around feeling good, but it DOES happen. I can honestly say that I feel better now than I have for years...I quit smoking as part of htis process, and that really made a difference. I'm on tamoxifen which gives me some knee pain, but I take a supplement that helps with that. Hot flashes? Yes Night sweats? Yes But breast cancer? NO ... I consider myself free of cancer, and many of the bad things about treatment are only a distant memory now. I hope all of you going through treatment now get to that poitn quickly as well.

    Love and hugs to all,
    Mary
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  • daniellells
    daniellells Member Posts: 1
    edited April 2007
    It took my mum a while to get back up and around after treatment. She is now in London living a great life so there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

    I haven't read all the posts but im sure they are saying it's ok to be exactly where you are right now and to take each day as it comes.

    Danielle
    www.livinglifeseries.com
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  • Karen1957
    Karen1957 Member Posts: 4
    edited April 2007

    karen'56 thank you for mentioning when we look "normal" and are done with treatments people expect us to be just fine and dandy. I am 3 weeks post rads and when I have a bit of energy I get something done and I'm wiped out for the next day. I am just beginning to be tired of being tired. Thank you ladies for letting me hear from those who have been there.

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  • Dar1
    Dar1 Member Posts: 146
    edited April 2007
    "The body and mind (we think we control these parts) decide in their own sweet time when to stop paying you back for the past year or two!"
    Thanks for this Shirleyanne! I finished chemo Mar.7 and admit I thought the "post-chemo" let down would not apply to me - or I just didn't want it to. I'm on Tamoxifen, so thought - well, we're still fighting it! But I feel that everyone expects it to be over, and it's not. My mind is like a crazed something or other, going from one worry to another and I just feel over all anxious and unsettled.
    One day I went for a physical, was sent for a mammogram 2 months later - just like every other year. Then, "they" grabbed me, cut off my breast, poisoned me for 3 months and made my hair fall out! What gives with that! And what else could happen to me and mine in this journey of life!
    I also don't like to be at home - reminds me of being sick. Then I run around all day in an effort to tire myself out so I will sleep.
    None of this helps, because I've been traumatized, and my body knows this even when my mind denies or minimizes it. I admit, I don't know what to do and I'm used to being the fix-it mom/wife/friend etc.
    I'm overwhelmed and I scare myself with all the "what-ifs". I feel that if I get one more piece of bad news, I couldn't go on.
    I can't make myself feel good - so you are all telling me that that just takes time? I hate that!
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  • Karen1957
    Karen1957 Member Posts: 4
    edited April 2007
    Dar
    I have click my heels together and repeat "Everything is going to be ok, everything is going to be ok." I never used to believe in saying that until I knew it it was going to be okay but now when I get overwhelmed, its the only thing that gets me through the day. Be kind to yourself.

    Karen
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  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 3,939
    edited April 2007
    Dar1...here is a link that might help and I will try to bump it up again
    http://community.breastcancer.org/ubbthr...ge=7#Post477781

    I too had the awful days when I couldn't stand to be in the house as it reminded me of being sick and alone. I rearranged my living room and bedroom and painted my living room...it helped a lot.
    Sending you a hug and a promise that it will get better
    Vickie
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  • Shirlann
    Shirlann Member Posts: 3,302
    edited April 2007
    This thread has been so wonderful, I just can't keep my mouth shut.

    I have been okay with getting things done except MY CLOSET!

    We moved into this new condo in 1995 and of course, it had walk in closets. HORRIBLE IDEA!! I did just fine with a conventional closet and now, I have filled the damn thing completely up including added shelves and a small cupboard. I do not have any idea what is in this small space.

    I was all excited to read my posts and everyone else's so I finally got the courage to REALLY, REALLY clean, toss, etc. So I opened the door, looked around a long, long time, quietly shut the door.

    Sighhhh, I failed the test!

    Love all you goofy sisters! Shirlann
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2007
    Quote:

    around a long, long time, quietly shut the door.

    Sighhhh, I failed the test!

    Love all you goofy sisters! Shirlann



    As to TOO MANY of us!

    I still haven't gotten around to picking up [like I should] since the kids and grandkiddies were here.
    And that was a couple of weeks ago. We're going there to mess up their house next Friday.
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  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited April 2007

    i didn't get my taxes done either...first time that's ever happened. but i've been caring for my stepfather for the past 7 weeks since he was diagnosed with stage iv kidney cancer on february 23rd. he died a week ago. his funeral was wednesday. i'm so unmotivated...i couldn't decide if i wanted to just lurk on the board or actually make the effort to log in.

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  • sherloc
    sherloc Member Posts: 1,047
    edited April 2007

    I forgot all about this thread. Thanks so much for reviving it.

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  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited May 2007

    i still can't get back in the groove. i've even stopped exercising. can't sleep. wonder what lies ahead. i might try working in the yard today and see if that'll get me going again.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2007
    gsg: I dont know how I missed this post, but I did. We have talked before about our jelly bellys. I was so proud, actually envious your were going to the gym and exercising regularly.

    Im sorry about the loss of your stepfather. Taking care of aging parents can be so overwhelming. And I do believe you are experiencing some grief.

    Yardwork is therapetic, so thats a good idea. I have recently started walking. It seems to help with all the crazy thoughts that keep dancing in my head.

    image

    Nicki
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