Starting Chemo in JAN 2007
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Regarding experiencing the menopause symptoms again, I don't know, but I can't see how that could be possible.
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Hey Mizsissy, don't beat yourself up over losing your temper. You have a bazillion excuses for that and I'm sure the sect. realizes it. Btw. cancer itself, the drugs, etc. we all have huge mood swings. I swear, somtimes I feel manic. Sometimes I'm really up and other times it's hard to get up.
Laughed at your "posting gala" comment. I think I was responsible for that last night. I was on a high from finishing chemo. Tired today. I ended up well past midnight, too, Caya, reading a trashy book that's almost due back to the library. First time I've read something other than a cancer book in a while.
My husband has come in to the office several times too, after hearing me LOL'ing at posts. His curiousity got the best of him a few times and he had to know what was so funny. Told him MYOB...he has been on me a bit that all I talk about is cancer, cancer, cancer. Or I'm online researching it. Sorry, you tend to do that while still in treatment. He's been good for the most part, but he isn't around a lot...mega workaholic. So, certainly when I do see him at 9 pm I will have a comment or two I've been saving up all day to tell him that pertains to cancer, so yes, it will come across that I'm obsessed with it. I do still have other interests. -
TJPP: I believe I was not initially given Emend because it contains steroids. I am a Type 1 diabetic and steroids raise my blood sugar, so they were trying to only use the smallest amount necessary. I am glad I found the Emend though. It made a huge dif in my level of nausea--even though it shot my sugars through the roof.
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Hey Shorti...We gotta spa right here, at the clubhouse. Every kind of muscle machine and several kinds of running machines, bikes, etc. Does he like to play golf? There are also lots of lakes & sailing. This ISN'T Maine, but there's plenty of ways to enjoy yourself outside.
Tina...congratulations on finishing!!! You are right. It's time for outside interests!!!!
Love to see you this summer!!!
Mizsissy -
I woke up yesterday ready to bite whoevers head off was available, feeling like crap, hurting everywhere from Nuelasta. I finally broke down and called the doc, who suggested some heavy doses of ibuprophen, and by the end of the day I was up doing my thing, and even headed out to the store during the busy dinner hour - with NO wig on, just my pink ballcap!(my first time out like that) It's amazing how once I took care of the nagging pain how I felt so much better.
Amera: I had a hysterectomy 4 years before my bc dx, so I was on hrt (I was only 41). My onc immediatley took me off them, but when I recieved the news I was triple neg, I asked if I could go back on them, since estrogrn wasn't a issue. His answer was no way, he wasn't worried about the estrogen for this cancer, but if I have a recurrence it might be er/pr +, so we weren't taking any chance on feeding that. From all that I got that the er/pr status can change from occurance to occurance. Hopefully none of us have to find out, huh??
Have a great day ladies!
tlc -
Good morning ladies-
Although it's not such a good morning for me...
Late yesterday afternoon I started to feel a burning sensation down below, and as the evening progressed it was pretty painful. I took a warm bath with baking soda in it, which gave minimal relief. I barely slept, and woke up to discover a few hive/welts on my entire bottom area, red as raw meat. I am going down to see my onc. at 4:00 today, I hope it's nothing serious. Anyone had a reaction like this at all with the Taxotere?
While I'm there I'll ask him about the twitching, I know someone suggested Mirapex, they might call it something else in Canada.
It's always something, isn't it?
I'll check in later to let you know what he said. We'll get stuck in rush hour for sure on the way home, so that will make a normal 45 minute drive downtown probably close to 2 hours - lovely.
Caya -
I haven't posted much lately, but you all are definitely helping me keep sane right now. Round #4 of FEC was different for some reason and in some ways more difficult. I always hit a couple days of depression, but this week it has hit early. On top of that my tummy just hurts. I'm so sick of being sick. I'm just tired of being bald, tired of being tired, tired of this whole thing and not feeling very close to the end of treatment. On top of that I just can't get a break from cancer this week - it seems to be on every TV show I turn on or every magazine I pick up. UGH!!! Work is piling up but I have no energy to face it this week. My kids are feeling neglected and I need to put some energy there. I just finished sending sympathy cards to my aunt and cousins. An uncle very suddenly died a couple of weeks ago (heart attack) and I still feel rotten for not being able to go to the funeral. My aunt who was recently diagnosed with leukemia has had a set back. It is just all piling up today.
So there is my big pity party for the day. I can't do it anywhere else but here. When I woke up this morning I just wanted to stay in bed all day - but not a chance.
Thanks for letting me vent - I feel better now! -
Caya, I have not had any reaction like that from Taxotere, good luck at the Onc's and keep us up to date.
Jan, big hugs to you. We have all been there one time or another and it's sometimes so hard to get out. Try to do one good thing for yourself today, take a bath, go for a walk, take an hour to read a book...anything like that but do it for you. Juggling everything is so difficult so try to take things one at a time. Deep breath! -
Thanks for all the advise on the rash. I finally called the oncology office. I am so tired of side effects. I think the steroids are getting to me too, and last Monday I bawled in the orthodontist's chair. I can't handle people that are too nice. He told me that I was probably a person who was very much in control of her own life, and now control has been taken over by my breast cancer. It's true.
At the beginning of AC I almost immediately got high blood pressure, so they put me on bp medication. Then I got this cough, which has been going on for almost 3 months and is so deep, but dry, that I have to be careful not to throw up. So, the doctor changed my bp medication. No change. Then last week she told me that I am now type II diabetic. The steroids raised my blood sugar too much. So I got this nice diabetes pill, and have to prick my finger three times a day. However, I also have Hepatitis C, thanks to some bloodtransfusions in 1978. Well, that medication raised my liver values, so I got a call yesterday to immediately stop the diabetes medication. We'll have to control it with diet and exercise. Well I've lost 15 lbs so far, and still got the diabetes. I try to walk every day, but the feet are kind of uncooperative. I just feel like I'm falling apart. And this morning my laptop crashed. I just bawled. Yes, I think the mood swings are here for the remaining week. I'm glad I can vent here and not at home. By the way, a coworker also had the cough, I found out today. It stayed with her during her whole chemo. The doctor never found out what it caused it, but it went away after the chemo was over. It still is hard to live with, because of the intensity.
By the way, yesterday I was so cold in my house. I was sitting on the couch and debating to get up and get some socks (everything is an effort nowadays). My daughter suggested putting on a hat, and I did, and I felt sooooo warm. I still don't think like a bald person. -
And this morning my laptop crashed.
Robertin, that in itself would be enough to send me over the edge.
That stinks that you are diabetic and have to prick your finger 3x a day. You get enough needles at chemo. What a pain.
Amera, I didn't realize Emend contained steroids. No wonder I was so jittery during the A/C round. Taxol isn't expected to cause nausea so they don't give Emend. I don't feel jittery at all after it...I feel wiped from the IV Bendadryl. That, obviously wore off last night though. I could have ran a marathon. Not today... I'm back to low key.
Caya, sorry to hear you are feeling so lousy too. I haven't heard of that kind of issue. I do know from a chemo nurse to expect a burning sensation "down there" when they start the IV pre-meds...not sure if it's the Decadron or Benadryl that causes it, but you find yourself kind of moving around in your chair to make it stop...fortunately it only lasts a minute or so. Bizarre sensation you've never felt before chemo though. Kind of like a contraction...you certainly have no idea what that feels like until you've had one (I liken it to a vice grip around your waist.) -
I'm so sick of being sick. I'm just tired of being bald, tired of being tired, tired of this whole thing and not feeling very close to the end of treatment. On top of that I just can't get a break from cancer this week - it seems to be on every TV show I turn on or every magazine I pick up. UGH!!!
Sorry you're feeling so lousy, Jan. I hated being dx'd around Oct., breast cancer month. EVERYWHERE it was cancer, cancer, cancer! It stopped for a bit, but now the Susan Komen Race for the Cure stuff is coming up so it's everywhere again. Not that that's a bad thing...just sometimes you only want to deal/talk when you feel like it, which makes this website so great.
Sorry about your aunt and uncle. That's rough. Also sorry the chemo is making you so sick. I can see how lucky I was in that dept. Do you get Emend? If not, maybe you should ask about it. It is truly a miracle. -
Lynn, any idea what the diff. is betw. Taxol and Taxotere? I wonder why some of us get one thing and others get something different.
Boy, am I tired. My 10 yr. old son just came in and decided to belt his 6 yr. old sister so I punished him..sent him to his room. He had a complete meltdown and told me he hated me, wished I died. I can't even be mad/upset because he is never like that... he has always been the most affectionate, loving kid and I know he's upset at being punished and very overtired from going to Detroit this weekend w/his dad, staying up too late, school, soccer, etc. A down day without kids coming over to play will help him, though he doesn't realize that. Still, I am not up for hearing "I wish you died." -
hurting everywhere from Nuelasta.
I read that Neulasta shots were horrible...in the book Cancer Vixen, I believe, it said it was like concrete being poured through your veins. I never needed it. I did get Procrit once and the shot stung but wasn't as bad as they told me it would be. However, days after I got it I read that the FDA was concerned about it causing heart issues, strokes. Several weeks later they gave it their "black box" warning. Sure enough, my red count dropped just below acceptable and they wanted me to have another one. I said no, I'd wing it. Fortunately, I rebounded the following week and then I was done w/chemo. I really didn't want any extra stuff, particularly if I'm only borderline.
Speaking of the book Cancer Vixen, that was the only place I ever read that someone found the sentinel node biopsy dye injections unbearable. I had four injections and they don't use any anesthetic at all and I thought I'd go through the ^%$#!! roof. I literally screamed out loud, at the top of my lungs. I didn't think I'd make it through four. I could barely breathe. There is so much written about the whole BC experience...why haven't I seen anything about that agony, except for in Cancer Vixen? Anyone else experienced this? I swear, the doctor who did mine didn't know what he was doing. Otherwise, I'd have heard from other people that this is a brutal experience. I'd have ten more mastectomies, if that were possible, than one of those injections. -
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Speaking of the book Cancer Vixen, that was the only place I ever read that someone found the sentinel node biopsy dye injections unbearable. I had four injections and they don't use any anesthetic at all and I thought I'd go through the ^%$#!! roof. I literally screamed out loud, at the top of my lungs. I didn't think I'd make it through four. I could barely breathe. There is so much written about the whole BC experience...why haven't I seen anything about that agony, except for in Cancer Vixen? Anyone else experienced this? I swear, the doctor who did mine didn't know what he was doing. Otherwise, I'd have heard from other people that this is a brutal experience. I'd have ten more mastectomies, if that were possible, than one of those injections.
Did you have your SNB at a different time than your mastectomy? I had the SNB done at the same time and was knocked out cold so didn't feel the injection. I presume that is true for many others which might be why you don't hear much about it. -
Are the sentinel node injections the ones around your nipple? I remember how painful those were, and I'm kind of glad the person who gave the injections didn't stop. He just kept going. At least it was over fast, but those were the most painful shots I've ever had. I had them done shortly before the surgery took place, and wish they had done them while I was out. As a matter of fact, why didn't they?
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Hi,
This is definitely a rough week for quite a few of us.
Robertin, Didn't your onc give you something for the cough? Shame on him if he didn't. I hope you feel better soon.
Jan,
Sounds like you need a big hug. We are here for you. Maybe it is time to let your family treat you and make you dinner while you take a nice long bath. I hope you feel better soon.
Caya,
How did your appointment go? Hopefully he gave you Mirapex and an antibiotic. let us know how it went today when you get a chance.
Tic,
I am glad you are feeling better.
TPPJ,
My fever continues today. I had 100.4 at Dana Farber yesterday, but I told them I was fighting a cough. Since I was only seeing the surgeon for another matter, the fever was not brought up. I called my onc today and told her about the fever and that my body was trying to fight off a cough and she gave me a Z-pac for fighting an infection prophylactically. She also wanted me to come in to take my blood counts. The nurse just called and told me my wbc was dangerously low--.5. She told me the onc wants to see me tomorrow and if my fever goes to 100.5 tonight, that I should go to the ER---NO WAY!!! I asked her if I could take tylenol and she said that I could. That will be my line of defense until tomorrow. I would have gone back today to see the onc, but I will not go to the ER at night when she is not there- and expose myself to who knows what- unless my fever spikes really high. I really do not feel that bad- Hopefully I can wait until tomorrow.
Viddie -
Robertin,
Yuck- it really hurt---and my surgeon told me to stop making faces!!!!! Men do not understand. I now have switched to all female doctors and am quite happy about that. -
I loved reading "The Cancer Vixon", but at small doses at a time. I waited until after I started my chemo to read about the chemo sessions. I laughed all through it- it really rang a bell.
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I was awake for the snb dye. The radiologist said it would *really* hurt but would be over fast. It didn't really hurt that much for me. Although I guess I was prepared for it to *really* hurt. He said that the numbing injections hurt just as badly and would just mean you had 8 injectins rather than 4. Geez, I'd forgotten all about that.
On the subject of books...I read a few but found most out of date. Just Get Me Through This talked about a "new" procedure coming down the pike. She was talking about sentinal node biopsies. And the chemo stories from even a few years ago scard the sh-t out of me. Thank God they weren't that bad.
Robertin: high blood sugar and sugar swings can cause mood swings as well. Sorry you are dealing with so much at once. My sugars got incredibly high while on Decadron and Emend. Luckily I just took more insulin but the high sugars made me feel terrible. -
Thanks TPPJ - I am the queen of anti-nausea meds - I have a total of 5 that I take every time (including Emmend). All together they work - just barely. My onc said I was especially prone to nausea b/c I had such severe morning sickness when I was pregnant. Luckily with all the meds I've been able to stay ahead of it - thank goodness for insurance. The last time my husband went to the drug store my Rx bill was over $1,200 (but we only had a $40 co-pay) and that was just for 2 drugs!!!
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TPPJ - wow that's rough from the 10 year old. I can sympathize with the terror an overtired child can cause. They can drain me so quickly. I can so vividly remember saying things like that to my parents when I was a kid and of course he doesn't mean it - you know that - but it's so hard to hear.
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I had trouble with my first neulasta, but the rest haven't been too bad. The SNB injections were a b@%#@. I cried. The radiologist who did it had done a wire placement on me 2 weeks earlier and remembered me. I think SHE almost cried giving me the injections. Halfway through she asked if I needed to stop for a break. I told her if she stopped there wasn't a chance I'd let her start again so she may as well finish. Well, I'm a pain wimp anyway - but I don't ever want to do that again.
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Wonder what is up with all of us this week? I have been on my last nerve and I have to belly up to the bar again tomorrow. I don't want to. I am guarenteed a sleepless night and a grumpy weekend. I have been so achy this week and hearing that the Taxol SE's are accumlative, does that mean the pain is going to increase? I don't know what to do, tylenol and advil might as well be sugar pills. They do nothing for the pain. I don't see my Dr. for 2 weeks, saw her last Friday but wasn't in a lot of pain so didn't mention it. Now I hurt bad. Please excuse my spelling errors I can't think straight. Does anyone else have little dark spots on the palms of their hands? Just another weird chemo trait?
Have a good night! Thanks for letting me crab----from Grumpy Butt -
Wow, what a relief to hear my SNB dye injections weren't botched. Not happy to hear so many of you suffered too, but at least I know my case wasn't abormal. Now that I know it's so bad, I wouldn't tell any non BC people because I know it's a necessary evil and I wouldn't want to scare them. God forbid you had a recur in the other breast, would they want to check those nodes too? I'd say no. If it's there, it's there, if not, it's not. I got so blasted w/chemo anyway, as if I had been node positive. Almost 7 mos. worth....16 treatments for Stage 1. Granted, I asked for it...and I'm glad I did. I feel like there is nothing more I could do even if I wanted to...except for Herceptin adn Tamoxifen which I am doing. Lynn, I was told that the dye wouldn't "trace" if injected while you were under or sedated. Did you mean the SNB was done while you were asleep? I was asleep for that portion too, but I was brought into the hospital at 8 am for the nipple injections and had to pace around the hospital for a noon admission...my body needed that much time for the dye to trace to the nodes. Then I was knocked out and the SNB was performed. Not a million years could ever make me forget the experience. Amera, I just finished reading "Just Get Me Through This". I became uninterested when I read the publishing date because I knew the info. would be older. I did check out Rosie O'Donnell's book...silly name, but it was good...entertaining and kept things light. One of my favorites for a "newbie" is BC for Dummies. Very easy and in laymans terms. I also read the one w/the blond woman on the cover, she is a BC doctor and patient at Brigham & Womens, name is possibly Karen or Katherine, I forget...last name begins w/a C. Initially, when I read her book it scared the crap out of me...she was talking about sleeping for 14 hours a day, etc... had people in to take care of her kids. I put the book down for a good month. When I got into treatment and was faring pretty well I picked it back up and discovered that much of what she experienced I was lucky to not have. She had a unique perspective, though, being both a dr. and patient. Smart woman too...so a worthwhile read.
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This is the cover story from Newsweek called How I Live with Cancer by Jonathan Alter. I could relate on every level. Really worth a read.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17888476/site/newsweek/ -
Well, I am very glad I went for a second opinion. The nurse told me in a hushed voice, when she ushered me into the treatment room, that he was "the top of the top." What a wonderful bedside manner, sweet, personable, yummy, kind of guy you'd like to hug or have a drink with. Well, he took my history, then he examined me, read over all my pathologies and said he really didn't have much to say. All my treatment was fine--the surgery, the chemo. "Do I need more chemo," "No," he said, "You've had plenty. The best bang for the buck is the anti-hormonal medication. And you need radiation..." Didn't seem at all concerned abou the high oncotype score. He also recommended Tamoxifen over Arimidex or other AIs because of the bone pain issues, also, because he feels that the AIs are so new that we don't really know all their problems yet. He recommends five years of Tamo followed by two of Femara or Arimidex. So far, nothing at all different from what my oncologist recommended, but I am *very* reassured.
If I ever get really sick with BC I am going back to this man.
Amera: On the ER, PR, HER positives...that usually never changes he said; however, cancer tumors may become resistant to different chemo regimens.
So I am really DONE with chemo. DONE. DONE. DONE. I wasn't a wimp, I did all I needed to, and I can go on with other LIFE and other things.
BTW, he didn't even look at the slides, the films, or any of that stuff I did backward somersaults to get day before yesterday. He gave them back to me and told me to return them. I didn't really think he'd need to anyway!!!
Mizsissy -
Nancy, I was told your veins can turn dark from the taxol. Mine have.
I heard Taxol was cumulative too and in some ways I found it was. However, one week I'd get a particular symptom, the next week I would not..it'd be a new one. Nothing major though. You are def. having a tougher time w/it than I did. It's gotta be based on dose. Are you doing 12 weekly? Where are you being treated in OH? -
My SNB injections hurt BAD!!! I'm pretty tough, but that was b!tch! I used the Emla creme, but only used a bit, I now know to slather it on and put saran wrap over it to keep my clothes clean! Maybe if I had done that it would not have been so bad. The doc was very nice and sympathetic (and he told AWEFUL bad jokes to keep my mind off what he was doing), In fact, after 4 months, my lt boob is still a lovely shade of blue! 8-)
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Hey Lynn, did you enjoy your party?
I casually mentioned it to DH...and he asked, "you mean this is just like a Tupperware party or something." I said, yah, I think it was just kind of relatives or neighborhood thing...gee, I wonder if they demonstrated any of them."OK, how about it?!!" I suggested.
He responded, "I can't think of ANY of my relatives or neighbors I'd want to see demonstrating sex toys!!!"
Not exactly the answer I was expecting.
Mizsissy -
Glad it went well, Mizsissy. Very reassuring when you are told you are with the best...and then to get a good report from him, even better. It's a relief to know you have done all you can for now. Feel bad about all you did to get your films (faxing slides and all, ha-ha!)..and all for naught. Oh well... it turned out good.
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