Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Yes, Mcbaker, maybe it IS pain that wakes me after 5 hours or so in bed, as I always feel achey when I wake up whether it is 5 hours or 7 hours. I just feel so much better emotionally after 7 hours.

What do you mean off to a friend's clothesline?

Hope you had a good nap. Maybe I'll have to learn how to nap. I also have nap insomnia, so hard to fall asleep in the daytime.

Sleeping: relax, blank your mind (stop thinking), don't move. Works really quick for me, usually.

I, too have a repeating dream that I had forgotten I had signed up for, did not go to class, and did nothing once I had found out about it, which was coming in from all directions. close to the end of the term. The professor had a bad reputation for being irritable and rigid. It was something boring, about the mechanics of writing, which is odd, because as a senior in high school I actually enjoyed diagraming sentences. The not necessary was not a cop-out in this case, because I was an English major.

Sandy, I have had that dream about high in the sky with tornadoes in Kansas City (and area), where I lived for maybe ten years total.

These skirts are silk and synthetics which must be washed gently in pillowcases and line-dried. I don't have a clothesline. I am very busy getting ready for a crafts sale.

betrayal- you have amazing patience to work through the restoration and rebuilding of your home. Glad you’re seeing the light at the end of a long road.

Busy day. I had a followup with the surgeon who did my procedure three weeks ago. All is good. And an eye doctor appointment this afternoon. I spoke to my daughter this morning. She’s seeing her OB for weekly appointments now and had a sonogram this morning. All looks good. We’re getting together in two weeks to do some shopping.

Enjoy your day

cindyny: Lovely photo and the colors of the fish are so brilliant. Reminds me of the salt water tank my DB once had.

I finally finished the layout of the firepit area today. I used the left over flagstones that were replaced (damaged) when they realigned the patio. Last step is sealing sand which I have but will wait for after first rain to apply. So start to finish, this reflects al little over 2 weeks work of 2-3 hours/day. Flagstones are on sloping end and have enough of a lip to keep the chairs from falling off the edge. DH has to paint the chairs and fire pit before they can go back on.

From the walkway/natural stone wall construction (done by contractor) we had nearly 1.5 pallets of natural stone left and just about the same for the pavers. Now we have less than half a pallet of each left. So it did take quite a bit of product to construct and I lost count of how many bags of base we used but know it was in excess of 50. As for the sand under base, that was about 12 bags. We have some sand left over but will keep it in case we need to readjust some of the pavers. Funny how what you pictured in your head, and drew on paper can then be actuated through a lot of effort and tons of sweat. DH could not visualize this at all during the process but is pleased with the outcome.

I am attaching a before picture showing the initial excavation and the finished one from today. What a difference two plus weeks can make. Now I get to reassemble my house once the furniture is back and return to mulching that has been neglected.

7/17/22

8/4/22

Just a question--does anyone else's husband/male significant other (I say "male" because I'm convinced it's a "guy thing") sort of tune out until the last few words of what you're saying? (Those of you whose SOs have dementia are of course exempt from this question). It's been slowly exasperating me for decades, so it's not aging-related. I suspect that many men get lost in thought (even about mundane things they may be doing), only to realize "uh-oh, she's speaking, so I'd better pretend I've been listening, by repeating the last sentence if she asks." That's understandable, as few people have a two-track mind. Lately, he's been saying first that he can't hear me and then that I "swallow" my "words," which nobody else seems to tell me or even politely asks me to repeat more clearly.

When we're out and he has to answer or return a call about or from a patient, he puts his phone on speaker, saying that he can't hear the phone over the noise. (Half the time, I fear there's a HIPAA violation waiting to happen). I gently suggested he try earbuds, but it was tough enough to get him to Bluetooth his phone to his car as it is, and might be a bridge too far to attempt to set his phone up for wireless earbuds (or be too embarrassed to be seen using wired ones). He admitted lately he's been missing departmental meetings at one hospital because they're exclusively on Zoom and he's comfortable only with Microsoft Teams because that's what pops up when he starts his computer.

He's resisting the idea of hearing aids--not the expense but the time it would take for testing, fitting and fine-tuning. He admitted his sneakers are a bit tight across the toes, but won't take the time to actually go to a shoe store and try some on. It's been over a year since he even tried on clothing in a store--it's up to me to do it all online or pick it up. He won't get a pedicure either, certainly not at a nail salon and not even from a podiatrist colleague at one of his hospitals. (It's not the expense, which Medicare doesn't cover for non-diabetics). At least he goes to the dentist & barber in person.

Thanks for letting me rant.

Wow-first time that I saw this. And I have been on here since 2003.

I am old-73. 20.5 years at Stage 4 MBC de novo. Hi! to everyone.

Denise

petite, I agree with that. Maybe Sandy could suggest that it is only a conductive loss, and therefore hearing aids would not be necessary. Now I can just imagine him bringing an otoscope home and asking you to look into his ears.

Welcome, denny. Glad to see you in our neighborhood. Especially considering your BC history.

Welcome denny123, I've seen you on other forums. I'm also 73.

Welcome denny. Glad you found us here. Yes, we have been around for a while. It is a fairly small group so easy to keep up with. Hope you will come often and join in often as well.

Hmm, I wear hearing aids so hard for me to judge. I think Dh just got inro a habit of feeling like he had all the answers so didn't and often doesn't pay a lot of attention to me. In the mean-time ( after a whole lot of frustrating conversations ) Dh's voice tone is way less making it way harder for me to hear him. I am having difficulty now and having to wait to see the Ear Speciliast to clean out wax in my ears. Even a little bit can have a huge effect. My PCP and others who look in my ear all say they can see past the ear wax that is there. I also feel like age and sinus are making a difference in how my ears expel wax. It has just been a lot harder for me to hear. Not to make a bad pun of a sort, but it waxes and wanes depending.

Nothing special for today. Threat of rain but it sounds like it will be cooler for awhile. I haven't noticed the heat so mauch lately as the humidity has been much better lately in spite of a couple of days of a lot of rain. Fingers crossed.

Chisandy- My husband was not catching everything I would say or not hearing it correctly. When I was first diagnosed with cancer, he would go to the doctors appts with me and if I asked him what a doctor said because I did not understand it or didn't catch it he would just say he didn't hear a lot of what the doctor said. He had an appt for cataract surgery evaluation the week after he died. We were going to get that done first before I pushed on the hearing thing. I did have to push it a bit.

In our house, I'm the one who can't understand DH. I will go in for a test but he is the only one I can't hear. He mutters and often has a throaty voice.

Sandy - I'm surprised that Bob can continue working with so few tech skills. Also sounds like you are doing some enabling, shopping for him, setting up his stuff etc. Like me, you have been married forever so it maybe it is what it is but come in and vent anytime.

I just got off the CDC site. I had a direct exposure to Covid on Wednesday. Sat next to someone at a bridge table for an hour. She tested positive on Thurs. We were both masked but still makes me anxious. Much to my surprise, CDC says I can do whatever (except recommends masking for 10 days) unless I have symptoms. Supposed to test at 5 days. Seems risky to me, especially living in a age restricted community with most having some kind of co-morbidities. I've chosen to stay home but some of my fellow bridge players were playing again today. Each to her own I guess.

Happy weekend, everyone!

As you take a few minutes each day to quiet your mind, you will discover a nice benefit: your everyday, "ordinary" life will begin to seem far more extraordinary. Little things that previously went unnoticed will begin to please you. You'll be more easily satisfied, and happier all around. Rather than focusing on what's wrong with your life, you'll find yourself thinking about and more fully enjoying what's right with your life. The world won't change, but your perception of it will. You'll start to notice the little acts of kindness and caring from other people rather than the negativity and anger.

Jack Canfield

I usually sleep pretty good, but have one or two nights a week where pain wakes me up. Painsomnia.

Busy morning already. We did our grocery shopping today. Found a really sweet cantaloupe and plan to make spaghetti squash this afternoon. Baseball game starts early afternoon. Tired from our morning walk.

I'll be away most of tomorrow. Going to a memorial service for a college friend in DC tomorrow. It's about an 80 mile trip one way. She passed away about 2 months ago and the funeral was out of state. The service starts at 10am. It'll be a nice way to celebrate the life of a wonderful person.

Enjoy your day.

Betrayal, you are "getting there" after much planning and work and dealing with workmen. I hope you enjoy your home and yard when everything is done. Of course, the yard maintenance continues.

We did not have a great day as vendors at the farmers market. There were crowds of people but a scarcity of buyers for dh's beautiful turned bowls. The most expensive bowls have all sold but we still have a nice selection. A number of people come by and comment on how much they like the bowls they've already bought.

I displayed some of my creations today on a table. Placemats and crocheted washcloths. I sold one washcloth to a woman who bought it to use as a hot pad. The placemats are hand embroidered and very pretty, if I do say so. A few women stopped to admire them but no buyers. I made everything for the creative pleasure, not with any plan to earn money but it would have been nice to find appreciative new owners.

We'll set up the next two Saturdays, skip the last Saturday of the month (dh is playing in a golf tournament), and then return for the Saturday of Labor day weekend. At that point the farmers market will largely be over.

On the subject of sleep, I normally sleep well, 8 or 9 hours, but I have vivid dreams that I often remember when I wake up. When I have a bad night and don't get enough restful sleep, I feel tired and cranky the next day.

My problem is that if I wake up at about 6 hrs. or so to roll over, I get dreams so interesting that I sometimes can sleep past noon if my HK is here. (When she's not here, I have to be up by 10-ish to feed the cats by 11am).

Every year Bob says he'll retire "next year," but something always happens: first, he didn't want his staff to lose their jobs; then along came the pandemic which put the kibosh on our retirement plans to travel, go to cultural events and great restaurants. Now, I'm afraid that if he retires he will sit home and drink & watch TV (mostly sports) all day unless we can travel again. Yesterday, my 93-yr-old cousin in FL called to say hi--he is a dentist who retired 25 years ago and is bored and lonely. His wife of 70 years passed away at 88 of heart failure and RA; he moved out of the assisted living facility where they had lived and into a seniors' independent-living condo community near his daughter in Parkland. At least he has a girlfriend--who had been their best friend for 50 years and is 83 and still works as a travel consultant. (They went on safari to S. Africa & Namibia last winter). He warned me that as long as Bob can be active, he needs to have meaningful things to do after he retires. Meanwhile, Bob swears he will give up his office and the hospitals at the end of the fiscsl year and work part time at the union health clinic, which has normal daytime business hours, no hospitsl rounds, and great pay--though he'll have to pay his own insurance. He finds that gig (he calls it his "side hustle") extremely rewarding, Maybe he'll finally have the time to shop for himself too.