Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

wishiwasnthere - the saying here is welcome to the club none of us wanted to join. I'm glad you found us. I went to various chat rooms as my treatment progressed. I suggest that you also go to the IDC group at this site.

Of course you are scared and anxious. It gets a little better when you have more information from your team. Once you have a treatment plan, it won't seem quite so overwhelming. In addition to the surgeon, you will have a RO (radiology) and MO (medical oncologist). They should explain your options and the reasons for recommending them. It's OK to ask for a second option from any or all of these specialists.

That a partner or friend to all of these appointments if you can. It's OK for you or your partner to take notes.

Hang in there. I hope your appointment with the surgeon is soon. Many of us find the need to take some kind of anti-anxiety or sleep medication. If you need it, ask for it.

Stay close and we will support your journey.

Taco/Marge

Cindy, I'm hoping it means I can relax, but late yesterday afternoon the little baby deer( fawn ) was gone when we checked for the last time. We didn't see it this morning nor this afternoon. Either the mother really was around or someone else who knew a wildlife expert got it some help. I will have to hope that 'good' things took place and that the fawn is safe and sound. There was as well yesterday a doe and her twins not far from the little one, but there were never any signs of recognition or interest in any of them to the other.

I have always been fearful of hitting a deer ( or anything for that matter ) as while one could say they are interlopers to a degree when they take up an area -- we as well push them away from the cities and housing tracts we keep building everywhere.We don't have the synergism down very well of having space for everything and everyone -- meaning the animal kingdom that we often displace. Where we live was many acres of mainly woods. A lot is carved out now. We are fortunate to have two big ravines on either side of us so hoping we will never have many neighbors and will keep our woodsy effect. Most of the houses here are on ten acres minimum of land so that it keeps the neighborhood from getting TOO populated. Suits me fine. Only three houses on my Lane but I'm in the middle with a ravine on either side of me. There just is no more room for building here.

Anyway, several of my friends have hit deer and often the deer dies and severe damage to the car. Usually they are just shook up. I will say though, when that happens, usually an animal warden is called, gets the deceased animal, and they have butchers who will take care of the deer quickly and the meat is distributed to people who are needy. I still hate thinking about it though.

Glad you came through the incident and that the doe seems to have as well.

Hi lovely ladies, I haven't felt chatty for awhile, but will pipe up today.... I had a special experience yesterday. Took the 51 year old deaf/dumb daughter of a friend of mine (the friend is going blind slowly in another state) out to shop for pants. She is in an assisted living near me, I just found out last week. The daughter is sort of a loner. I can't afford to buy things for her, but could take her shopping. I drove her to Bealls Outlet and helped her try on clothing and shoes. Long process, took 3 hours. She is size 3X or so, and it's hard for her to find inexpensive clothes. Well really, it's hard for her to do most things. We were trying to discuss (with me talking as she can read lips pretty well, and her writing) if she should buy the sandals I found for her poor swollen feet, or the pants and top we found earlier (someone stole all her pants at a prior assisted living). Her shoes were in bad shape and she could barely walk in them. She decided to get the support sandals and we were going to put the clothing back. Then, another woman shopper approached and offered $20 to us to pay for the shoes. I was stunned and then as I explained to Jenny, we both started crying. It was the nicest thing ever. In the end, the woman (who is also named Jenny) paid for Jenny's sandals and clothing ($45 total) and called me an "angel" for helping Jenny.

Hi wishiwasnthere - sorry you find yourself here. Adding to what Taco wrote, the nurses are a great resource as well. Once you start treatment, you often have the same nurse each time. Oncology centers also have a nurse line that you can call for questions or concerns. I know I made good use of mine. I also kept a treatment journal and always kept track of my questions and the doctors answers. Best of luck with your treatment.

Cardplayer… thanks for the words of encouragement, and the advice. I’m learning as I go, as you all had to do. I appreciate the knowledge of others who have had to deal with this.

Oldladyblue - what a wonderful story of generosity. So nice of you to take Jenny shopping. Sounds like she needed the outing and some new clothing.

Ran into a neighbor during our walk this morning. She and her husband are moving out if the area in the next day or two. It was nice to say goodbye. Will keep up with her via Facebook.

Otherwise it's a watch baseball and make soup for dinner kind of day. Enjoy you day.

old lady blue- it’s nice to see others helping others. Great story.

So glad you put that link in cardplayer. Sounds like a rugged problem to have. Glad you seem to be able to exercise a whole lot of control over it. Just reminds me that we all have a 'cross' of some kind to bear. It has been found -- if we could trade out issues with someone else, it is more likely we'd keep our own. That is in response to thinking how hard it sounded to me to have what you do.

It is warmer today but still not the worse. Sun has been brighter. I think Kentucky is still struggling with the las t storm that went through. I just can't imagine.

I forgot to get my registratrion tags so had to cancel my appts. for today at Marion. Will get the tags tomorrow ( DMV closed today ) and then remake the appts. I should have made myself a note, but as usual was sure I wouldn't lose tract.

Hope you all have a really good day.

cardplayer - thanks for sharing the link. I had never heard of it. I am always impressed at how people manage to deal with dietary issues. My sister has celiac sprue and in the early years of her diagnosis she had a very difficult time finding gluten-free food. Much easier now, but she still needs to really read the ingredients for everything she buys.

A multi-tasking day - met with the ED of our CAM to talk about a community-wide food drive (9000 homes) on super bowl Sunday, dentist appointment, and almost 90 minutes in the bank trying to get the golf group checking account transferred to the new officers. I was stressed and hungry by the time I got home, to say the least,

Primary Day tomorrow in Arizona. Mail-in ballots with no excuses have been available for years here but I think the mud throwing will be ugly, whoever wins. The last time I voted in person was in 2008 and I remember voters winding round a dining room of a local Independent Living Complex while the poor residents tried to eat dinner.

Started laying pavers today on new fire pit area. I am about halfway done with them but had to think of a solution for exposed paver edges near the natural stone walls. Given that the natural stone has uneven edges for the most part, I will use other natural stone to cover paver edges and integrate it into the existing walls. We have plenty of stone to choose from and it should add some visual interest to the finish. Have one section I am not pleased with and will address those pavers tomorrow. It is very hot and humid again so I am trying to limit outdoor work to 2-3 hours max.

Did some mulching the other day and need to finish the large horseshoe shaped bed at the top of the driveway. I had finished the weeding there but still need to address the weeds on the "daffodil hill". Then I can use some thin layer of mulch there.

Living room drapes and sheers were returned about 2 weeks ago and they came yesterday to hang them. Took them a while to ensure they were level and then had to steam them to get out the wrinkles. They look really nice and it the living room is starting to take shape. They had a copy of the inventory of the items sent to them for cleaning in November 2019. There is a noted absence of one of the pillow shams that matched the comforter, they never received it so it must have been tossed. They were on the far side of the bedroom and should not have been wet or damaged because that side was fine. The bed skirt was sent to them but not returned and 2 black cushions (also sent to them) I had on a wicker chair are MIA. They received them but not returned so I am going to keep calling them about finding them. Most likely I will never recover them after such a long time in storage.

Furniture delivery is to be scheduled and I need to contact rug cleaner to return my rugs for the living room and dining room as well as the one that used to be in the family room. Then I can start debulking all that has been stored in either the dining room or the guest bedroom. It will be nice to start redecorating the living room and the foyer. I think the end is in sight and we may achieve this before the 3 year anniversary of the initial damage. Yeah!

Thanks, Mary. I am sure I have bored the pants off of some of you with the trials and tribulations of this nearly 3 year journey to get my home back. I wasn't planning on this being my retirement project and unpaid to boot. My plan was to buy a Regal movie pass and go to movies as often as I wanted but the house and Covid changed that plan. I have learned patience and forbearance if nothing else. Not much you can do when it is the restoration company that has the poor scheduling issues and not being able to coordinate repairs. My insurance company has been helpful in that they covered all the expenses including emergency clothing and replacement of items that were destroyed. True, they would not pay for offsite storage but they would have covered renting a place to stay but then what would I do with my menagerie and for this length of time? They have restored my home to its former state and that was my objective; nothing more but nothing less either. I feel for others that have had losses due to storms, floods or fire. You do feel helpless and unfortunately are at the mercy of others when you are in this situation. However, my best advice would be to express your displeasure at every opportunity, remain steadfast in achieving your objectives and to not express anger, just displeasure as statement of facts.

Noticed that one of the cream sheers has a rust colored stain on it and now need to see if I can remove it. It was not on there prior to the home damage and I have no idea what caused it but it seems dry cleaning did not get it out. Water did not work. Guess I will call them about it to see if they have any ideas. It is on one of the pleats and at first I thought it might have been from the steamer but not sure. It's on the front double window so I can't swap it out. Never ends, it seems.

Good morning, insomnia again. I don't understand why I wake 5 hours after I go to sleep still very tired. Ugh. I keep trying new remedies, but nothing works well and predictably.

Thank you Betrayal, Illinoislady, Cardplayer, Cindyny and Petite1 for the comments on my story of helping Jenny. It was a special day. Yesterday I finally reached her mother by phone in MA to tell her the story. She doesn't know how to use a cell phone well, and can't see to text. She was tickled her daughter went out with me, and for the help we received from the other Jenny.

I'm still second guessing myself a bit for stopping my AIs, but I feel soooooooooo much better physically that the second guessing is slowly dying away. I truly wish the side effects hadn't been so awful for me and am glad that they aren't that way for everyone.

I, too have that problem, ladyblue. They think it is pain. So best to accept it and continue to use mild pain relievers and take naps.

So glad you could help someone.

So, now off to a friend's clothesline. Then back home for a nap.

I don't usually have much trouble sleeping but have noticed it being a bit more difficult. I think mine is likely related to an odd medication schedule -- having to wait at times till my blood pressure permits, to take my mdications -- so being up much later than I have been for yrs. Out of boredom 'waiting' I spend too much time on the computer. Guess that will give me an avenue to work on -- staying away from the computer and settling for boring television.

Pain is difficult for a lot of people to sleep through. Dh has the issue, so I've been aware of it for a long time. He settled on pain meds when he has too and melatonin every night. It is the best he can do and he gets 6 hrs. usually and at times a bit more. He also naps easily -- in most cases very eaily. It is not fun to "feel" un-rested and I do hope everyone finds a solution that at least helps to a degree, if you can't find an optimum one.

Hot today, but I think tolerable. At least I hope so. Hope that is what all of you have as well.

Hooray cardplayer -- within normal limits sounds fantastic. I do note as well that while some have osteopenia, you can have that for yrs. if it changes.