IBC Anxiety

Hi, I'm new here. This post will be pretty long and I want to thank anyone who takes the time out of their day to read and reply.

I'm extremely anxious about my health. Just a few months ago I was 1000% sure I had a blood clot and just days to live. I didn't have a blood clot. I know because I went to the E.R. and then to my GP who both assured me I was fine and didn't have a blood clot. I still doubted them but.. I've gotten over that and moved on to a brand new, scarier condition: Inflammatory breast cancer. Just typing it makes me feel anxious.

A little over three weeks ago I noticed some "pores" around and on my areola (above the nipple, toward the line of demarcation between the areola and the breast skin). I have large breast and pores all over my them, but this particular patch looked deeper almost.

I immediately went into panic mode and made an appointment with my doctor. At the appointment she took a look and told me that nothing looked or felt out of the ordinary especially considering the size of my breast. She put me down for an ultrasound anyways. After this appointment I felt extremely relieved, to the point where I wasn't going to schedule the ultrasound. But still, I continued to aggressively check my breast until I inevitably found something else.

I did end up scheduling the ultra sound because I had another extreme wave anxiety, but the appointment is 3 weeks away. I'm deathly afraid l'Il experience worsening symptoms before then.

I'm a 22 year old black woman, with no history of breast cancer in my family. The only"symptoms" I'm having are (what I think looks like) a very small patch of peau d'orange - like maybe 7 little spots that I've been told (several times) look like pores/hair follicles. I have no pain, no redness, no soreness, no swelling, no heat, no inverted nipple, or swollen lymph node. My areola does feel slightly irritated sometimes but I figure it's because I'm constantly poking and prodding the skin. The skin on my right areola also feels a littlemore textured (wrinkled?) than that of the skin on my left, but I only notice this when I stimulate it.

I sometimes get random "pains" in my breast. It's not severe pain at all. It's closer to irritation really. It's last maybe 30 seconds (if that) then goes away. It's also sporadic. Like It'll happen randomly throughout the day, maybe 3-4 times a day. Some days It doesn't happen at all. The irritation moves and it's not always the same sensation, and again it's never severe. Barely even there. I think this is me being hyper aware of my breast and my anxiety manifesting weird sensations but I don't know for sure.

I've had my grandmother (a retired nurse) look at the skin several times, and she assured me it looked normal. My aunt looked at it as well and again assured me it was normal.

Another thing that really freaked me out is that this texture is on one breast. Which I, again, was told is normal. There's no stark difference between either boob, but I've been over analyzing them for years and I'm hyper aware of any changes. I know the likely hood of me having this disease is extremely low, but never zero. And every time I feel a weird sensation I panic.

This same area seems to be turning a bit pink. My skin tone in pretty warm so maybe it's the lighting or maybe it's because I can't seem to stop touching the area but I'm afraid I'm experiencing a real symptom and I'm only telling myself these things to pacify myself.

As I write this, I feel a little ridiculous, because everything points to me just being a hypochondriac, but I need some help. For the last three weeks I've been in this cycle of feeling like an idiot for thinking I have IBC to then feeling 100% sure I have IBC. My anxiety causes all sorts of weird symptoms and these symptoms make me want to google. Which only makes my anxiety worse, but it's so hard to resist the urge. I'm constantly touching/looking at my breast, looking for any changes and I'm terrified I'll find something. Every time I convince myself I'm fine, I feel some weird sensation and my anxiety is back like it never left.

It's coming up on a month since I first discovered these changes to my boob. If I had IBC would my symptoms have worsen by now? Is the pain/heat/redness from IBC more obvious and severe? How do I differentiate IBC pain from regular menstruation pain and weird anxiety pain? Has anyone else felt strange sensations in their breast that turned out to be nothing?

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this. I know it's long and I'm probably being ridiculous but I would really truly appreciate any advice, reassurance, or input. Again thank you and I really hope to hear from some of you.

(Update) 5/24/22

Hi again everyone! I really appreciate all thecomments, kind words, advice, and well wishes. In an attempt to quail my anxiety I've been trying to avoid the very words "breast cancer" so I'm sorry for not immediately responding to everyone individually.

One of my breast is a little achy but it's a far cry from intense pain. I recognize that this pain is nothing I haven't dealt with in the past and likely a result of hormone changes:fluctuations (if not another phantom pain brought on by anxiety). My health anxiety is still a day to day struggle and my consultations with Dr. Google happen more times in a day than I care to admit but I'm feeling way better than I have been in the last couple weeks.

There will always find something wrong with as long as I continue to let my health anxiety control my life so while I wait for my ultrasound I'll work harder on addressing that.

I'll be sure to update after I receive my ultrasounds results. Thanks again, everyone